Surrender to Fate (Fate's Path Part One: A New Adult Romance Series)

by Jacelyn Rye

  “It’s okay, Dad. It’s okay to cry.” Sarah wept into his shoulder and tried to bring her arms around him. The man who was the rock of the family eventually had to crack, and Sarah was grateful she was there to try and keep him from disintegrating.

  Sarah sniffed and willed her tears to stop. After everything this man had done for them, the least she could try to do was provide some semblance of strength and comfort for him. “Matty will be okay. He promised me that he would come back.” Hearing her words gave her no comfort, knowing that so much of what Matty was going through was no longer in his control. She couldn’t bear to think it, but she knew that Matty coming home to them was a promise that he could make, but very well may not be able to keep. Her father knew it too, and she knew there were no words to change that reality.

  Edward shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed. “How can I ever forgive myself, Sarah?”

  Sarah released her embrace and moved to face her father. “What are you talking about? Forgive yourself for what?”

  Edward shook his head again in disgust. “The watermelon. He was just a little boy. It was a meaningless watermelon...and I treated him like he had committed a felony. All he wanted to do was to show me how big and strong he was. And all I could see was that he wasn’t, and that he broke a worthless watermelon. I wouldn’t even let him apologize! What kind of father does that to his son?” Edward searched Sarah’s eyes, but it wouldn’t have mattered what she said or did. She knew there would be no rescuing her father from the pit of guilt that was swallowing him whole.

  It wasn’t difficult to bring her thoughts back to that day; it unfortunately wasn’t a memory of her childhood that had faded with time. She cringed at the memory of Matty’s face, as he had stared at the smashed watermelon on the ground. She thought that horrible memory would never resurface again, at least that’s what she had hoped. Remembering it now was the last thing she imagined to be discussing with her father. It stung even more that her father had carried it with him all of these years, with every passing day as an opportunity to reconcile with Matty. Chances to right a wrong were not a guaranteed commodity. A lesson learned only too late for her father.

  “Oh Dad, don’t…”

  Edward stopped her before she could continue. “No, Sarah. There’s nothing you can say that will make me feel okay about that. He’s such a good boy, always has been, and,” Edward’s chin trembled as the terrible memory would not leave his mind, “and I never told him that I was wrong that day. My damned pride wouldn’t let me. I guess I always thought that someday, I would tell him--that I would ask him to forgive me—that I was the one who had wronged him. But I didn’t.” Edward shook his head slowly. “And now my boy is gone to war, and I never told him.”

  Sarah put her hand on his shoulder, “He’ll be home soon, and you can tell him then.”

  Edward looked up at her, his face aging before her very eyes. “Do you think he knows? How much I love him? Even though I treated him like that?”

  Now Sarah could not hide her emotion as she pursed her lips and tried to smile though she had never seen such pain on her father’s face. “Yes, Daddy,” she whispered.

  “How? How does he know, Sarah?” Edward closed his eyes, pressing the tears free to fall to the ground.

  Sarah swallowed hard, and let her own tears roll down her face. Riley moved from under Edward’s arm and whined before licking her hand. Sarah looked up at him, his brown eyes, calm and knowing, under his rising and falling eyebrows. She rubbed the soft red hair on the top of his head and down his ears. He sniffed and rubbed his cold nose into her hand and moved even closer to her. Sarah stopped petting and stared at Riley, who gave another whimper as he pawed at her leg.

  “Riley, Daddy. Riley.”

  Edward creased his brow and looked at her, then to Riley. “What about him?” he asked as he laid his hand on Riley’s back.

  “Matty knows, because of Riley.”

  Edward looked at her, still unsure of what she was trying to tell him.

  “Matty knows how much you love him,” she stopped to control her shaking voice before continuing, “because of the day you let him bring Riley with us, to California.”

  Edward slowly nodded, and ran his hand down Riley’s back. “I hope you’re right, Sarah. I hope to God to you’re right.”

  Chapter 51

  Not hearing anything from Matty and Adley was torturous, and at the same time, a blessing. Sarah now feared hearing any news at all, because if she had to hear that something had happened to her brother or Adley, she was certain it would be the end of her. She couldn’t even fathom how Henry and Tommy were faring, with Will being gone. If there was any mercy at all to be had, she hoped that Will would not be taken from them, too. All she could do was make her futile attempts at normalcy throughout the day, and keep breathing in and out, until they were home.

  Even the weather could not be coaxed to share any warmth on their already desolate mood. The rainy season in California was formidable, and it actually made Sarah miss the soft flakes of snow that would fall silently and leave a blanket of diamonds back home. Here, the rain was gray and cold, and turned the ground into a mass of snaking water running through the muddy ruts. The soft soil of the garden was exceptionally vulnerable to the dismal torrent, and was no longer able to provide her a refuge from her reality. In all truths, she didn’t think she could bear to be in the garden again, now that every memory of the garden was saturated with Adley, and steeped with an agonizing desire to feel his arms around her.

  As Sarah stared through the window, streaked with teardrops from the sky, Anne quietly walked over and stood behind her. Sarah closed her eyes as her mother ran her fingers through her hair and smoothed it down her back. She tried to let the soothing feeling of her mother’s hands bring her comfort like it always had, but that seemed like an unattainable task, even for magic hands.

  “Sweetie? Your father has to run to town for some supplies before it gets completely dark. Do you want to come with us?”

  Sarah turned to her mother, “You’re going, too?”

  Anne thought for a moment and smiled warmly, “Yes, I thought I’d keep him company. Besides, I can’t stare at these walls anymore. I feel like they’re closing in on me.”

  Sarah knew the exact feeling. She turned back to the window, remembering not too long ago that she would’ve stayed home, just to be able to spend time with Adley, alone. A familiar wave of nausea surged through her with the sharp reminder of the fact that Adley wasn’t here. And Matty wasn’t here, either. It was just the three of them now.

  Sarah took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. In reality, she didn’t feel like doing anything. Even the smallest and most mundane tasks seemed to require so much energy that it all hardly seemed worth it.

  “Oh, Mama, I don’t know.”

  Anne ran her hands down Sarah’s hair again, “I know how you feel, sweetie, I do. Look at me, Sarah.”

  Sarah turned to her mother, with every bit of will she had not to fall into a million pieces, and cry the tears that would change nothing.

  “Your brother, and Adley, need us to be strong for them. You know that, right? And as difficult as it is, we have to, for them, because what they are doing, is for us. And, I promised your brother--” she paused, fighting back her own tears, “I promised him that we wouldn’t let this change us. He told me that he needed to know that when he thought of us, that we would be just how he always remembered. That is what he needed from us. Your brother might be thinking of us this very minute, Sarah. And if he is, he would not want us to be like this. I promised him, and you know that I don’t break promises.”

  Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. That was just like Matty. He was more concerned for their well-being than his own. He knew what this would do to all of them, and he knew that by making their mother promise, that it would be done.

  Sarah finally felt a fraction of helplessness lift from her. There was nothing she could do for Matty or Adley, except to do as
they asked. It went against every notion she had, but she knew she needed to at least try to not spend every waking moment being miserable. She would do it, for them.

  Sarah looked up at her mother, “I’ll get my coat.”

  Anne put her arms around her and hugged tightly. “That’s my girl. Get my coat, too, please. I’ll tell your father that we’re ready to go. He’ll be happy you’re coming along. We need to spend some time all together.”

  Chapter 52

  The trip to town seemed to breathe a little life into all of them. For Sarah, just being away from the farm where every square inch reminded her of either her brother, or Adley, was uplifting. They had all even managed to laugh when a huge gust of wind came along and blew Sarah’s umbrella forward, and turned it inside out, dragging her along with it. Laughter was the last thing any of them expected to be able to produce, as Sarah had been certain that she would never have anything to find humorous as long as Matty and Adley were in harm’s way. In fact, she felt quite guilty, once the laughter had stopped, until her mother looked at her and gave a knowing wink. Sarah knew that this is what Anne had promised to Matty, and Sarah hoped that somehow her brother could hear her laughter again, and that in some way, it made whatever he was going through even a fraction more tolerable.

  The drive back to the farm was quiet, except for the scraping sound of the windshield wipers going across the glass. Anne was next to Edward, and Sarah became mesmerized staring out the passenger side window, listening to the rain, and remembering the rainstorm of the night she and Adley were in the barn loft.

  Edward turned the truck from the main road onto the gravel road that had by now, become a slippery, sloshy mess from the relentless rain. As much as the trip to town provided a distraction for them all, Sarah was ready to be home and warm, out of the stinging rain.

  The old farm truck barreled through the muddy ruts, as all three of them swayed back and forth in unison. Sarah had never seen the road in such a mess. When the rain stopped, and the mud dried, she knew that it would need to be completely worked over with a blade to make it somewhat smooth again. But that would require the rain to stop, and at this rate, she wasn’t sure that was going to happen any time soon.

  Edward must’ve shared her sentiment as he grumbled, “This is ridiculous.”

  Anne patted his knee, “Oh Edward, we’ll be home soon. But you better slow down a bit, or we’re going to get jerked off the road.”

  “I think I can handle this, Anne. I’ve been driving plenty of years just fine. Besides, I don’t want to go too slow and get us stuck.”

  “Well, we’re going to be stuck if we end up sailing off into that field right there. You think this mud is bad, think how that freshly plowed dirt is.”

  “Christ, Annie. You act like I just started driving.”

  Sarah shifted her weight, but just stared out the window. She knew better than to say anything. It was rare for her parents to argue, but it was an all too familiar feeling of when they were in Colorado and the stress of facing bankruptcy led to many arguments. The argument now was no doubt because of stress again. Only now, Sarah knew it was the stress of Matty going to war. This too shall pass. She hoped.

  Anne took her hand from Edward’s leg and stared at him. “Don’t you curse at me, Edward. You used to drive too fast in the snow, and you’re driving too fast now.”

  Edward turned and looked back at her, “Have I ever gotten us into an accident? Have I?”

  But the next sound was not Anne answering him. It was Sarah screaming.

  With her arm extended, pointing out the front windshield, Sarah yelled, “Look out, Daddy!”

  Anne and Edward’s eyes shot forward but it was too late to avoid the path they were on. Edward jerked the wheel hard to the right in avoidance. Heading straight for an electric pole, he frantically spun the wheel back to the left. The old farm truck turned back to the road, and whether it was the rain, or the mud, or deep ruts caused by both, the farm truck’s tires left the road, and it turned over and over, until it finally came to a stop on the driver’s side.

  Everything was still and quiet, except for the rain pinging against the metal of the truck. The last thing Sarah thought of before she closed her eyes, was Matty, and that their father had kept one of his promises to him. Edward first swerved to avoid hitting the one thing that was still their connection to Matty. Riley.

  Sneak Peek at Shattered by Fate

  Fate’s Path (Part 2)

  “You sorry sack of shit! How many times, Jake? How many times have you been told?”

  Will let his head fall toward the thundering voice of Vernon. Squinting his eyes did nothing to alleviate his blurred vision. He could make out the shapes standing only a few feet away from him, and he knew what was going on. Vernon, no more than an inch away from Jake’s face, screaming and spitting his words, and Jake staring stone cold back at him.

  Will tried to speak, but found nothing more than a whisper escaping from his lips. Before he could give a second attempt, he felt a heavy hand land gently on his shoulder. He slowly turned toward the hand, realizing as he did that every movement brought a sensation of pain.

  “Don’t move, son. Just sit still.” William knew his father’s voice so well. The thickness and fear was palpable.

  “I’m...okay.” It didn’t matter if he had the strength to talk, or if he should even be attempting to. He actually didn’t know if he was okay or not. All he wanted to do was change the sound of his father’s voice.

  Henry moved to William’s line of sight. If William thought the sound of his voice was bad, the look on his face was infinitely worse. “The doctor’s on his way.” Henry’s brow was creased in worry and his words were thick, as if something were impeding his throat. His breaths were heavy and rapid, and William could see his chest rising and falling as if he had just run a race.

  “Wha...what happened?” The clouds were slowly lifting, and William closed his eyes, wondering if the visions of logs and screaming could’ve been a dream. The bits and pieces that were flooding his mind didn’t seem real. If it weren’t for the pain, that was extremely real, he would’ve bet everything that this was all an imagination.

  Henry swallowed hard and paused. “The logs. The logs rolled off the truck, and right on top of you. You’ve been knocked out cold for…for, I don’t know how long. They told me you pushed Jake out of the way and…,” he closed his eyes and looked to the sky. His chin began to tremble as he continued, “And I almost lost you, boy. I could’ve lost you, William.” Henry dropped his chin to his chest, and his shoulders began jerking forward.

  “But...you didn’t, Dad.”

  *********

  The light was bright, so blinding that Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. Despite the momentary reprieve from the glare, she realized that she didn’t want to keep her eyes closed anymore. The confusion that flooded her mind wouldn’t let them stay closed and forced her to open them again. Despite her mind’s persuasion to open them fully, her eyes barely fluttered awake, and it took all the strength she had, mentally and physically, to stop them from falling again. They were so heavy that she wanted to lift her arms to her face and use her fingertips to assist in the endeavor, but her arms were weighted even more so than her eyelids.

  Her mind darted in all directions of her sanity, searching for the answers that would illuminate what was happening. But everything seemed so foggy and thick in her mind that even if there were answers, they couldn’t have been recognized as such. She could at least take stock in what she was sure of. She was lying down, but not in her bed. The way the light was artificial and intense, she knew she wasn’t even in her house. She knew she would have to force her eyes against their will to open if she had any hope of putting the pieces together.

  Compelling her eyes once again to cooperate with her mind’s demands, she felt her eyelids begrudgingly begin to flicker open. Like the curtain slowly rising on a stage, the blackness released its grip on her senses and she focused her eyes in fron
t of her. The source of the glaring light was her first insight to her location. Bright, fluorescent lights gave off the slightest buzz to accompany the already harsh illumination. Squinting, but not wanting to allow her eyes to close again, she tilted her chin to her chest to allow a broader scope of the room.

  Despite wanting and needing to know what was happening, the sight that met her filled her with so many more questions than answers, that she almost wished she could close her eyes and start the process all over again, but this time to awake to her house, to the ranch, to something familiar and safe. Her eyes scanned the tiny room. White walls, a white, porcelain sink, a pinkish curtain on a round silver rod, pulled to one side of her bed. She sucked in one breath as she realized that this was not anything that she recognized as hers, and most certainly did not make her feel safe. She was in a hospital.

  Once the realization had time to fully absorb, panic settled in and her heart began to thump in her ears. The questions came pounding onto her head so quickly, that this time, she did close her eyes, trying to make sense out of frightening unknowns that were now her reality.

  With her eyes bolting open, she did the only thing she could think of. She tried to lift her shoulders from the bed, but found that would to be an impossible request from her body. Pain surged through her and she grimaced as she fell the couple of inches back to the pillow. A blinding pain was beginning to sting behind her eyes and she forced her hand that must’ve weighed as much as an anvil, up to her forehead to rub away the pain. But touching her forehead only sent another bolt of pain through her. With ginger fingertips, she felt for the cause of pain. Carefully rubbing along her brow, her fingers found a series of stiff threads protruding from her skin. Not wanting to exasperate the already piercing pain, she let her fingers drop down the side of her face to her cheek. There were no more threads to be felt, but every inch of her face hurt. She imagined her face in shades of blue and purple, as that would be the only color it could be with such painful bruising. She let her hand glide off her face and back to the bed.