I knew he meant well, but Parker never held back his feeling when it came to me, especially when it had to do with some guy. Just like everyone else that knew me, he thought Jamey was just another guy that I’d soon get over. Why was it so hard for everyone to understand that this time was different for me. I was in love with that man, and I had been for a long time.
For a while I just laid there staring at nothing but darkness. Beside me my brother snored lightly, while his roommate tossed and turned and talked in his sleep about some paper that he lost. While trying to focus on anything besides not being in bed next to Jamey, I finally dozed off.
The next thing I knew I was waking up alone in the small twin sized bed. Parker left me a little note on his pillow.
Dear sister that woke me up in the middle of the night:
I’m having lunch with my girlfriend if you want to tag along. Text me and I’ll tell you where to meet us. You’re going to be okay, Peyton. If you need me I’m just a phone call away.
Parker
There was no way I was going to feel like the third wheel, so I didn’t text my brother. Instead I ravaged his drawers looking for something edible to appease my grumbling stomach. When I came up empty, I decided to go out and find the cafeteria. After brushing my teeth and hair, and changing into clean clothes, I stepped out onto the campus and asked the first girl I came in contact with.
Finding the place was easy, and filling up a tray full of food was easier. It was deciding where to sit that was the big dilemma. I never anticipated someone approaching me with an invite. “Hey, you look lost. I’m Seth.” His hair was a light brown, and he had these eyes that were just about the same color as his hair. His teeth were perfect, but not the kind that had been through years of braces. I smiled and tried to be polite, even though I had no interest in sitting with a strange guy.
“I’m here visitin’ my brother.”
“A southern drawl. How sexy. You want to join me and my friends while you eat?”
I looked down at the tray, and over where he was pointing. At a few outside tables was a bunch of people chatting and carrying on with each other. They all looked so happy, and I felt left out because I didn’t want the whole college experience. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m just going to sit inside and wait for my brother,” I lied.
“If you need a tour, I’m your man.” He patted my shoulder and walked back outside with his friends. I tried not to look too many times out the window at them, but curiosity got the best of me. Each time I glanced out that glass pane I saw a life that I could be having. I saw a future that I could have been giving myself, had I just made the right choices. It was unsettling that on top of my break-up I was dwelling on what else I could have had.
My appetite was definitely affected by my inability to focus on anything positive. After throwing away more than I ate, I retreated back to my brother’s room to hide out. The messages started coming in a little after I’d gotten settled.
How long are you going to act like this? – J
Avoiding me doesn’t solve anything. – J
I wrote back before I could talk myself out of it.
I want more than you’re willing to give me. – P
You want something that’s impossible for me to give you. We’re good together. Can’t you be happy with that? – J
Not anymore. I’m tired of settling. I deserve more. You can either give me what I want or watch me walk away. – P
I waited for him to answer, and regretted sending him the message. It was easy to be strong behind the screen of my phone.
Have it your way. Don’t come back begging once you find out I’ve moved on. – J
It hurt so much to read, but I think I did it fifteen times before tossing my phone onto the floor. In my mind I knew that my family had been right about Jamey, but it didn’t make my heart feel any better. I’d given him too much time to let go so easily. There had to be another way to get him to see that I was worth it.
My brother showed up some time in the afternoon. Since I refused to look at my phone anymore I didn’t bother checking for the time. His roommate had also stopped by, but only to grab a change of clothes. After locating his Xbox, underneath of a pile of clothes, I’d helped myself to playing it. Parker plopped down on the bed behind me and tried to get the paddle out of my hands. “Let me have a turn.”
“What are you five? I’m not sharin’. I got this far and you’re just pissed because I’ve always been better at this stuff than you.”
Parker fought me more for the paddle. He knew he was stronger than me, but didn’t put up a fight once I started screaming. When I won the battle the game didn’t seem all that interesting anymore. I put the paddle down in my lap and looked over at my brother. “I know I can’t stay here.”
“I hate that you know what I’m goin’ to say before I say it, Pey. Sometimes that whole twin thing ain’t what it’s cracked up to be.”
“I appreciate you lettin’ me crash here, but tomorrow I think I’m goin’ to go back to Shayne and Ashley’s house. I need to face the music and deal with whatever is next in my life.”
He rubbed my head, as if I were a dog. Immediately I pulled away from it. “It will all be okay. Once you meet the next guy, you’ll forget all about Jamey and his douche hair cut.”
I should have rolled my eyes at his comment, or said something witty to reply, but instead I just stared at my brother. “That’s it.”
“What’s it?” He asked.
“I know what I have to do to get him back.”
“Whatever you’re thinkin’ it’s probably a terrible idea.” His tone changed to being concerned.
“I’m just goin’ to go home tonight.” I leaned over and kissed him. “Tell your girlfriend I said hi.”
He followed me out to the hallway. “Seriously, Peyton, what are you up to?”
“I’m goin’ to prove to everyone that Jamey loves me. Watch and learn, brother.”
Determined that my plan would work, I set out on the long road home. My idea had to work, because my happiness depended on it.
Chapter 6
Jamey
She was driving me crazy, but I wasn’t going to let her know it. If Peyton thought her head games were going to make me beg, she had another thing coming.
After our latest bouts of texts I was fuming, but I was at work and couldn’t get away to do anything about it.
My first inclination was to drive to her brother’s house and stir up some shit, because I knew he was behind this decision of hers. Peyton wouldn’t walk away from me without a good reason. Since I knew I hadn’t fucked up in anyway lately, she didn’t have a reason to get on my case and walk out like she had. If she wanted to start shit, I was prepared to give her a reason to regret it.
I spotted Ang and her cousin walking into the diner. She gave me a dirty look as they sat down, and I made sure the other server knew that I’d be taking care of them before I made my way over. “What’s up guys? You hungry or did you just come here to see me?” I geared the last part for only Ang. She shook her head and looked at the menu instead of answering the question. “I’ll have a order of cheese fries, with ranch on the side.” She handed me back the menu without looking up.
“You want something to drink?”
I saw those eyes looking right at me. “Why, so you can spit in it? I’d rather die of thirst.” That New Jersey accent still got to me.
“Fine. What are you havin’ buddy?”
“Give me the usual. I want the burger medium, and put gravy on the fries. You can bring out two cokes. If this bitch doesn’t want it, I’ll drink both.” She handed me his menu while she crossed her arms and huffed over his comment.
I walked to the back to make the drinks and put the orders in, but couldn’t help wonder if Ang would come around. If Peyton wanted to play the sad puppy and end things with me, it only meant that I was in the market for someone new to bide my time. Since I already knew she was a good time, Ang would be the perf
ect solution. Besides, she was only visiting, and wouldn’t expect anything but a good time while she was around.
I focused on her movements, watching her as I waited on several tables. When I took them their drinks, she refused again to look at me. I smiled just the same, knowing that her attempts were only going to make me try harder.
Once the food came out, I asked someone to fill in for me while I took a short break. I sat her fries down on the table and slid into the booth beside her. “So what’s new? You guys goin’ out anywhere tonight? You feel like ridin’ to the beach, Ang?”
That got her attention. She turned to face me and shook her head. “Some things never change, do they, Jamey?”
I popped one of her fries into my mouth. “Not really.”
“You’re pathetic. You’ve got a girlfriend at home, but you’re sitting here hitting on me.”
“We broke up.” I said it without feeling, not because I didn’t care, but because I was playing the part. Had it been my mother I may have given her a different reply. For the most part I was just trying to fill an empty spot in my bed, with one main purpose of showing Peyton that two could play her game.
“Really? I didn’t know you were officially calling yourself a couple.”
“Whatever. I get off in two hours. If you want to have some fun, meet me out back.”
I left the check on the table, shook hands with my buddy and walked away without giving her a single glance. She could only play hard to get for so long before she gave in like every other woman. I’d rocked her world the first time we were together, and I was willing to do it again if she let me. Getting Peyton out of my system wasn’t going to be easy, and I still wasn’t sure if I was ready to just let her go, but for now, Ang could satisfy my hunger.
Two hours later I clocked out and walked outside to an empty parking lot. I stood there laughing to myself about how two women were trying to teach me lessons at the same time. Since I’d technically been stood up, I climbed in my car and decided to go home. I thought that I’d be fine with stepping into my room and not seeing her there, but I’d be lying if I went with that. The room was quiet, and there was no sign left of Peyton at all. She’d taken all of her things, and left an empty spot on her side of the bed. I sat down and ran my hands through my hair. It finally hit me that she was serious about her threats. She wasn’t going to call me and beg me to want her. She was done with my bullshit, and I had the choice to change or be without her.
Of course, asking me to change wasn’t all that easy. I’d never been in such a predicament. The more I dwelled on the situation, the more pissed off I became. Feeling like I needed to be anywhere but in my house, I changed and headed out. There was no specific place I was headed, it was more to clear my mind.
Since bars were scarce in my neck of the woods, I ended up at the only establishment that sold cold beer, at least until midnight. The jukebox was playing some old ass country song as I walked in and I spotted a couple elderly folks playing slot machines against the far wall. A middle-aged couple was slow dancing to the piss-poor song, swaying their bodies back and forth in sync with one another.
I headed straight for the bar, having only one thing on my mind. That’s when I spotted her; the blonde sitting all alone at the end of the bar. I pulled a stool up next to her and called for a beer. She smiled when she noticed me, but turned around before I could speak.
It was weird, feeling so much rejection all at once. A few minutes later the chick paid her tab and left me sitting there without a single sentence. I shrugged and drank my beer in silence, checking my phone more times than I wanted to admit.
Six beers later I was out of cash, and knew I didn’t want to break out the debit card, so I paid and left. I had every intention of going home and crashing, except that’s not where I ended up.
Her car was parked out in front of her brother’s house like I figured it would be. At first I got out and considered leaving her a note inside. I knew she left it unlocked all of the time, because everyone did where we lived.
I’d like to blame my next move on alcohol consumption, since I usually didn’t drink so much, but truthfully I probably would have done the same sober.
With no regard for the time I walked up to the front door and started banging on it.
“Let me the fuck in! I need to see Peyton. I’m tired of her games.”
It took them forever to answer, and it definitely wasn’t Peyton that I was looking into the eyes of. Shayne was standing there in a pair of boxer shorts. He opened the door all of the way as he spoke to me, and I couldn’t help but look past him for her. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Jamey? Do you have any idea what time it is? I’ve got kids that are sleepin’.”
“Screw you. I need to see Peyton.” I was determined.
“You’re drunk.”
“No, I ain't!” I smiled and asked again. “Go get Peyton for me, man.”
“You’re slurring your words and swaying as you talk to me. Don’t give me some bullshit about not bein’ drunk. Get off my property Jamey. I’m not kiddin’.”
“What are you goin’ to do, Shayne? You goin’ to come outside and attempt to beat my ass? I need to talk to your sister. Just let me in. I need ten minutes to straighten this out.”
He shook his head. “I’m closin’ the door. You bang on it, and you’ll see my fist down your throat. I’m not fuckin’ around.”
His comment made me laugh. To me, Shayne was always weak. We were about the same build, but he was always whining about something when we were all younger. Now that he was married I just assumed he was a pussy. “I need to see Peyton. I ain’t tryin’ to rough you up or nothin’. I didn’t come here to fight. I came here to get her back in my bed. You know how it is, right?”
He shut the door in my face.
I laughed and knocked quietly again. “Come on, dude. Let me in. Let me see my girl. She belongs to me, man.”
Peyton opened the door in tears. “What are you doin’?”
I smiled and motioned for her to get in my car. “Come back to bed, baby. I’ll make you feel better.” I was sure of it.
“Bed? You came here to ask me to come back to your bed? You’re an asshole. I can’t believe you, Jamey.” She closed the door on me again.
I knocked for the third time, but nobody would come to the door to let me in, so I took drastic measures to get her attention. I was determined that I wasn’t leaving until she was with me.
I walked over to my car, leaned in the open window and started honking the horn continually until someone would come outside. Finally Shayne came outside with a baseball bat pointed toward me. “Get off my property or I’m callin’ the cops.”
“Call whoever you want. They can’t make me leave from the road. You don’t own this, the state highway does.”
Shayne put down the bat, shook his head and walked inside. Figuring that I’d told him, I kept honking the horn, calling out for Peyton to come outside. Who knows how long I was doing it, but the police lights let me know that he’d done exactly what he said he was going to do. I stopped with the horn and greeted the officer. “Good evenin’ Officer Sparks. I haven’t seen you at the diner in a while.”
“Jamey, please tell me you ain’t the disturbance that someone called about?”
“Me? Disturbin’? Nah, it ain’t me. I just came to pick up my girl.”
He walked toward the house and I stood there watching. Shayne came right out and started pointing toward me. I knew I was in trouble when Officer Sparks started walking in my direction, so I climbed in my car and took off down the road.
I suppose it was probably a bad idea after drinking to blatantly run from a deputy while intoxicated. I should have known better.
My head sank to the steering wheel as I finally stopped and realized that I was in big trouble. Sparks came up and opened my door. “Get out of the car, Jamey.”
I put my hands in the air. “Okay, okay.”
I did as he told me and watched him looking
me over. “You’ve been drinkin’?”
“I had a couple drinks. I’m all good though.”
He motioned for me to walk to the rear of the vehicle. “Then you don’t mind me doin’ a sobriety test, do you?”
“Fuck you! I ain’t drunk!”
He shoved me against the car and started handcuffing me, while reading me my rights.
A few minutes later we were on our way to the station. I was being booked for a DWI, and resisting an officer. I couldn’t believe he was being such a dick to me, considering all the meals that he’d eaten at my mom’s establishment.
I tried to plead my case to him, explaining that my girl left me and I needed her to come back to my bed. After calling me a few names, he refused to talk to me anymore. I was left in the backseat to worry about other things, like what my mother was going to do to me when she found out.
I don’t remember much after that, except for getting fingerprinted and actually being put in a cell with another drunk dude.
I used my one call to contact Joey and ask him to pick me up in the morning. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to leave until I was sobered up. While the drunk man sang until he passed out, I sat in the corner thinking about how I’d gotten myself locked up.
Peyton filled every part of my mind, and I knew I was going to have to change if I wanted her back, the problem was that I didn’t know how, and it was soon going to be the hardest thing I’d ever had to learn how to do.
Chapter 7
Peyton
I couldn’t believe this was happening. First Jamey showed up at the house drunk as a skunk, trying to get me to come home with him. Though I took into consideration that he was making an effort, there was no way that I was getting into a car with him that way.
I didn’t blame my brother for calling the cops, but I sure did feel bad over it. Jamey was going to be in huge trouble, and I felt like I was to blame. If I’d just stayed with him none of this would be happening.
Reject Me Page 4
