License to Love: Holiday Box Set (Contemporary Romance)

by Kristen James

  She leaned down, watching his closed eyes, and touched her lips to his. After she kissed him, she scooted back toward the door to return to her apartment.

  The next morning, he told her Trevor and Mindy planned to stop in to see him while she was at work. It was Wednesday, but she already dreamed about the weekend and two full days to spend with him and Aubrey.

  The day was already fading when she got Aubrey and headed home. She’d put dinner together the night before and now pulled it from the refrigerator to heat it up. While it warmed, she sat on the floor in Aubrey’s room to play with her.

  With dinner heated up and ready, she let Aubrey lead the way out the door and to Jason’s. The air carried a new bite, announcing the start of autumn.

  Aubrey knocked with her tiny fist before Savanna reached over her and opened the door, “Hello?”

  “Come in, I’m on my way,” he called out. Savanna heard him making his way to the door from upstairs. Aubrey was timid but took a few steps inside. She hadn’t been over here, and she hadn’t seen Jason since the accident.

  Jason saw Aubrey and gave her a big grin. “Hey there.” Aubrey hid behind Savanna. “Well, Savanna, how was your day?”

  “Good. I played with acrylic paints with kids and made a big mess. And yours?”

  “Trevor and Mindy came, and a couple guys from the department stopped by so I wouldn’t get too bored.” He bent over, trying to see Aubrey again. “So what’s in that pan that smells so good?”

  “I hope you like lasagna,” she said on her way to the kitchen. Aubrey followed her but turned back and bounced to Jason. She squatted behind his coffee table and peered at him.

  “Hey, Aubrey, you know me. It’s okay.”

  Watching from the kitchen, Savanna wondered if Jason’s appearance scared Aubrey. The sad, thoughtful expression on his face told her that he knew that, too.

  “It’s okay, Aubrey.” Savanna told her. Aubrey didn’t budge, so Savanna set the table and called them in for dinner.

  She looked up from helping Aubrey eat and saw Jason hiding a smile behind his hand. He pretended to innocently rub his chin as she caught his eye and raised an eyebrow at him.

  “I had this dream last night . . . that you came over just to kiss me while I slept.” His embarrassment faded as Savanna’s cheeks turned pink. His mouth fell open, accusing.

  She gave a sheepish shrug and dug into her lasagna, pretending to be busy enjoying her food. He might not want to hear how the hard look drained off his face in his sleep, leaving an innocent little boy with thick, dark lashes. She loved his full, quirky lips and even how his nose bent to one side. It just added to his personality, a soft gruffness.

  After dinner, he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Thank you for dinner. You’re a great cook.”

  She tilted her head backward so he could kiss her. Even though it felt natural to lean against him, to kiss him, she got excited.

  “Mmm.” She wanted so much more from him. Why couldn’t they just ditch their lives and responsibilities? Take off and make wild, passionate love until she couldn’t move. She envisioned them naked, tangled in the sheets and each other. The image sent burning tingles right down to the core of her.

  “Mine!” Aubrey’s angry voice startled her.

  “How’d you get in here so quietly?” He looked down at Aubrey, who pushed his leg without smiling back.

  “Oh, I think I’m giving her kisses away to someone else.” Savanna pulled Aubrey up and planted loud mommy kisses all over her cheeks, making her giggle and wiggle around. “But I’ve got lots and lots of kisses for everyone.”

  Aubrey pointed at Jason until Savanna leaned closer. Then Aubrey gave him a wet kiss on his cheek.

  “Haa!” She pointed proudly at him and then clapped for herself. “I kiss Gase!”

  That changed the mood for the entire evening. Savanna watched Jason play with Aubrey, who decided he was all right despite his fading bruises.

  Savanna desperately wanted that for Aubrey—the loving touches and connection, but what would happen if she asked Jason for that? Asked him to be there for Aubrey? He wanted to fix things with Cassie, so how could she ask him to jeopardize that?

  They kissed goodnight, but that was all. She couldn’t help but feel she was playing with fire. On the other hand, she could enjoy this while it lasted.

  During her lunch break the next day, Savanna found a notice in her mailbox about a certified letter. She stood, staring down at it as her vision faded to black, trying to fight off a panic attack in the post office. She wanted to run outside and call Jason . . . but she still hadn’t told him about the custody issue. That little fact almost sent her over the edge.

  What was she thinking? By now, it was like she was hiding it.

  After a mental pep talk, she steadied her breathing and went to collect the letter.

  “Here you go,” said a perky, thirty-something man with a tiny bit of gray in his hair and a twinkle in his blue eyes. His friendliness was hard to return as she took the large envelope with shaking hands. Taking it to the car, she opened it and found it to be what she expected. Their first mediation would be on October 20th. She would have to face Eric again, and worse than that, she’d have to defend herself as a parent.

  Her lunch was almost over, so she returned to work and made it through the workday. She had dinner plans with her mom, so she focused on that. It was just one more day till the weekend, too, she told herself while driving to her mom’s. Cassie would be joining them too. Jason was spending time with Trevor.

  The evenings were cool now that September was almost halfway over. The trees around Margaret’s house sported leaves of all colors, earth tones in orange, browns, and fiery reds. Her mother’s roses still bloomed, making another colorful layer in the landscape around the cream house. The air tasted of fresh fall time and someone’s barbecue. Savanna knocked and entered with Aubrey.

  “Hello!” Margaret called out. “I’m in the kitchen.”

  She found her mother slicing fruit on a cutting board, wearing a crisp yellow apron over her purple, knee-length dress. Margaret’s silvering hair added a new elegance to her look.

  “So how are things? How’s Jason?” Margaret put some fruit on the high chair tray. She’d purchased it for Aubrey after she learned they’d be staying in Eugene.

  Savanna knew her mother wanted to know how things were developing between her and Jason. She couldn’t talk about that yet. “He’s sore, but everything’s healing.”

  Cassie arrived and knocked on her way in like Savanna had. Some habits just stay with you. “Wow, Savanna, you look nice today.”

  Savanna glanced down. Maybe that’s what made her mother ask about her time with Jason. She’d put on a new tank top, and wore earrings, something she didn’t always do.

  “You look good, too,” Savanna told her. Cassie had braided her long hair and wore makeup. That was something new and encouraging. Soon the three of them got lost in conversation like they had so often during high school, and, except for Aubrey, it almost felt like life was the same.

  Cassie asked her, “Do you still like the job?”

  Excited, Savanna told her about the kids and other customers who loved painting. It was her world for sure.

  Cassie watched her, smiling even, until she said, “Eric is such a jackass for letting you get away.” Throwing a look toward Aubrey, who was intently playing with her food, she covered her mouth for the bad word. “Oops, but he is.”

  Savanna’s mind stalled.

  “We need a game plan about this custody thing,” Margaret said. “I talked to my lawyer earlier today, and he thinks it’s as ridiculous as I do. He’ll help us.”

  “Help us? Mom, I don’t have money for this. I just got my job.”

  “Savanna! Don’t worry about the money. I’ll pay, and he’s a good friend of mine so he’s reducing his fee anyway.”

  Both Margaret and Cassie stared at her, waiting for something. “Another letter came today. We’re suppo
sed to meet October 20th. We aren’t supposed to have lawyers for this step.”

  Margaret sat on a stool by the counter. “So Eric will have to explain himself.”

  “Mediation?” Cassie asked.

  “They’ll have a third person there to moderate, and you’ll have a chance to try to work something out in lieu of going to court. I asked my lawyer about it.” Margaret slid a business card across the table to Savanna. “If you need him.”

  It had the lawyer’s information on it, so she slipped it into a pocket on her purse. “Okay, thanks.”

  “You’ll call him?”

  Savanna nodded and let the topic die.

  “Did you mail those books?” Cassie asked, gracefully moving on.

  “I did.” Savanna told her mom about her art books and how Cassie encouraged her to submit them. Listening to her, Cassie smiled. A real smile! Savanna was happy that she’d sent them in for that alone. If she accomplished nothing else, she’d made Cassie happy for a minute.

  On her way home that night, she realized just how much she had needed that time. There was a bend in the road, a bend for the better.

  Ten

  “I talked to my fire chief on the phone today,” Jason started when Savanna sat down with him the next day. “About what happened.”

  Aubrey played with her toys from the box in the corner. It was so cute how she had two little dolls talking, but Savanna turned to look at Jason. “Is he understanding?”

  “He seemed to be. We talked about Mike and then what happened the day I drove along that road.” He stopped, rubbing his chin with his knuckles. “They hired a new firefighter. He said he had to now that he’s down two men.”

  “Are you doing okay with that?” It was like they were replacing Mike.

  With a drawn-out sigh, Jason said, “I have to deal with it. I’m sorry I pulled you into my mess.”

  “I don’t care.” I just like being with you. She’d missed him all day at work, but now it was Friday evening, and they had a weekend to spend together.

  “Do you think you get enough time with Cassie?”

  “Yes, I just saw her yesterday,” Savanna reminded him, hoping he didn’t want more time alone. She needed him.

  She’d been thinking of different ways to tell him about the upcoming mediation and possible custody battle, but all of it stalled in her mind. For one, they weren’t officially dating. There was no commitment here, and it seemed Jason was treading lightly. He’d backed off whenever things heated up between them. What if Jason wasn’t prepared to deal with a commitment to her, and then this custody thing on top of it? He could even secretly be glad if she and Aubrey moved away so he wouldn’t feel like he had to be a father figure.

  But, she needed to tell him sometime soon. They were creeping up on the mediation meeting.

  “Hmm.” At Jason’s noise, she realized his mind was still on Cassie.

  “Hmm what?” Savanna asked, afraid he wanted to cool down things so she could give her time to Cassie. What if he were more concerned about his tattered friendship with Cassie than with their relationship? It hit her that they didn’t have a well-defined relationship. He’d needed help, and she offered.

  “I heard through the grapevine that she’s been smoking,” he said, getting her attention. “And you know how strange that’d be for Cassie.”

  Cassie? Smoking? Last night, Savanna thought Cassie looked like she was doing better. “She’s a grown woman, so I’m not sure I should be on her case.”

  “I understand that. I sure can’t say anything to anybody else after I wrecked my jeep. I still worry about her, though.”

  Once again, Savanna wished she could see Jason and Cassie spending some time together. She was learning more and more how important their friendship had been to both of them. Sometimes she felt she was keeping them from fixing things, when she was trying to do the opposite.

  “I’ll be sure to go see her soon.” Savanna decided with a nod. “Right now, I’m thinking about dinner.”

  Dinner was a much safer topic. As she rose and went into the kitchen, she pushed the worry out of her head for a little while at least. It was hard to not have warm thoughts about that good-looking man when he spent time with her daughter.

  Jason played with Aubrey while Savanna cooked fish, twice-baked potatoes, and vegetables. She loved cooking for him, absolutely loved it, because he raved about everything she put in front of him.

  She’d worn a button up shirt to work over a tank top, but cooking made her hot, so she pulled the shirt off and called them in to eat.

  He stopped by the table, his gaze on her. They’d been taking things painfully slow, so she wasn’t sure what to do with the heat that rose up in her at his glance. He seemed to like her tank top, or maybe her in the tank top.

  When they sat down, Aubrey got a tight hold on one of his fingers so she could chew on it, and she was gnawing away. They were like a family, weren’t they? But would this last? Letting herself hope felt wrong. They hadn’t made any kind of commitment to each other, at least not verbally. She couldn’t let herself rely on the look in his eyes.

  “Your mom sure can cook,” Jason told Aubrey.

  “Mama!” Aubrey agreed, making her laugh. He threw a grin at her at the same time Aubrey did.

  “Look at you two.” She spoke with more sentiment than she intended. Aubrey bumped food off her plate, so Savanna focused on that instead of his reaction.

  Half an hour later, she put Aubrey down to sleep, and they sat outside by her window, where they could hear Aubrey if she cried. Jason pulled Savanna close as they sat together on a reclined lawn chair, their legs stretched out under a blanket. They watched the daylight fade around them.

  “Having this cast stinks.”

  “You don’t like sitting still so much, do you? I saw all your books on outdoor sports.” She snuggled closer.

  “Yeah, I usually spend the summer working and playing. Mike and I took off rafting a lot, and Cassie went sometimes, but she also let us have guy time, and she’d go off with the girls.”

  The sky had grown dark and the stars were starting to show. Savanna leaned into Jason’s chest, resting the side of her head on his shoulder. Even with his strength, he’d been nothing but gentle with her.

  “You weren’t married very long, were you?” At his question, she dropped the daisy she’d been playing with. “Sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t ask stuff like that, but we’ve been laying my soul bare.”

  “Not quite a year. Everything changed after the wedding. I thought marriages were supposed to be somewhat easy the first few years. The honeymoon, stage, right?” Now that year seemed like wasted time, although she could count the lessons she’d learned and the daughter she had now.

  Jason’s question made her realize that she actually hadn’t shared that much about her life with him yet. That was just one more reason why she couldn’t share about her upcoming mediation.

  “I know this will sound weird, but tell me how you met. How did you end up with a guy like that?” Jason asked, almost as if he’d grown curious because of her line of thinking. Savanna hadn’t expected the question about her past, not while she was thinking about future problems. It took her a minute to gather her thoughts.

  “I left for school in Texas not too long after that fire, and I met him that fall. He held his umbrella over me in the rain. I thought it was romantic. We went out on a date and kept seeing each other. He was so doting while we dated. He asked if I needed anything, introduced me to a lot of people. He was finishing his residency and wanted to get married. It seemed like a fairy tale come true.”

  Jason tightened his arms around her. “So what happened?”

  That she could answer. The why’s were what she couldn’t figure out. “He spent more and more time at work and going out after we got married. Then I got pregnant. It wasn’t part of his plan.” She shuddered despite the warmth under the blanket and the feel of Jason against her. It’d been so hard to think about this befo
re, impossible to talk about it, but she felt safe in Jason’s embrace.

  “I was pretty shaken up after that fire. I thought I needed to live life to the fullest. I had some big plans. That’s partly why I went away to school, to get out in the world.” She added, “I’ve dreamed about that since then. I see your face and me staring at you like an idiot.”

  He laughed deeply and took her face in one hand. Instead of speaking, he leaned closer and met her lips. At the unanticipated sensation, Savanna purred an hmm against his mouth.

  “Does that mean you like kissing me?” His low voice washed over her in the cool darkness.

  “Hm-hmm.” The wind brought the smell of dry, sweet hay from the fields surrounding Eugene in the cooling night air. It felt magical and surreal, a perfect moment where time stops.

  He pulled her lips against his. Then, “I like that noise you make.”

  “What noise?”

  “This one.” He kissed her again, and a minute later she found out what he was talking about.

  A few minutes of that and her body was screaming at her for more. Jason could sense it too, but she felt him holding back.

  “Jason?”

  He seemed too frustrated to talk at that point.

  Instead of pushing it, she settled in against him and waited for her aching body to come back under control. A few quiet minutes later, she rose and straightened her clothing. “I’m headed to bed . . . goodnight.”

  He reached a hand out in a wave. “Sweet dreams, Savanna.”

  She tried to see into his eyes in the dark, to guess at what could be going on in his head, but his face and his motives were both lost in the dark.

  So she went to bed, mentally kicking herself for blowing a chance to tell him about the custody papers. Her physical needs had derailed that one. She also needed to make some decisions. What if she had to share her daughter; how would they do that? Would Aubrey have to fly back and forth between Eugene and Austin? Her mom and Cassie were both so sure that Eric wouldn’t be able to simply skip back in her life like he hadn’t abandoned her, but he was Aubrey’s biological father.