by Pamela White
The sun went down and the stars shone in the darkened sky. The field remained lit by the bright lighting posts across the field. When the horn sounded off, Julia and I followed into the crowd, and headed towards the live in units.
I looked at Julia and said, “It’s time to turn in already. It was nice walking with you today.”
“Yeah friend. And hey, you remember to keep on looking for a good work assignment. Something will turn up.”
“I hope so Julia. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah, later.”
We went our separate ways.
I ascended the steps and continued from the lobby, up more stairs until I had reached my room.
When I entered the cell Maureen greeted me from her bunk. “How’s it going?” she asked.
I glanced at her. Maureen had her legs propped up on the bed and head against the wall as she crocheted.
“Oh, not too bad I guess. I just had a nice walk on the track field with my friend. Weather out there is great.”
“Oh? Well that’s good. The weather out there was beautiful this evening. I started to go to the track myself but I felt kind of tired after work.”
“Uh huh,” I said, sitting down on my bunk. I felt desperate and decided to share my problem with her. Leaning forward on the bed with my head propped up on my hand I said, “I sure wish I could find a work assignment somewhere. I’m not interested in getting drafted in the kitchen.”
“What? You’re still looking for a job assignment?”
“Yes. Everywhere I’ve gone so far that I’d like to work, isn’t available or has been filled already. I ‘ve been looking for three weeks now.”
“But, you haven’t tried the chapel library yet, have you?”
“No. Ah, I thought you guys were all full over there.”
“I’ll tell you this. I want you to come by the chapel library tomorrow evening after going to dinner. Because I think there’s a good chance you can get on, with my help.”
“For real?”
“Oh yeah. One of the clerks, Alison is getting released Thursday. I know this, but I don’t think Father Daniel knows it.”
“Why wouldn’t Father know about it? He’s the Supervisor, isn’t he?”
“Father Daniel doesn’t worry himself about all details of what goes on in the chapel library. I started working in there four years ago. He’s only been here at Carlyle a couple of years. He depends on me for a lot of things. His main focus is giving the Church mass service. So believe me when I tell you, there is going to be a clerk vacancy after Alison gets released this week. And, I will let Father know about it when I get there tomorrow, so he can go on and sign you on.”
I smiled. “Yay! That’s the best news I’ve heard since I got here.”
The following day, the officer called for evening work assignees to go to their assignments.
Maureen laid her crochet materials down on her bed and got up. As she left the room she turned to me and said, “Now don’t forget to come straight to the chapel library after the meal call!”
“No problem. I will be there!”
∞
Two and a half hours later I entered the chapel library. It was a large spacious area with shelves spread along each of the walls, lined with books. Toward the center of the room was an elongated wood desk, a couple of office chairs and two book carts. Maureen sat behind the desk arranging the card catalog.
“Hi Father Daniel,” she said.
“Hello,” I said barely glancing at her. I continued walking across the room and went into the door that led to my office, closing the door behind me. It was a comfy space with copper colored walls, a small wooden desk, laptop and leather maroon recliner. I sat down at the recliner, opened up my bible and began reading scripture passages. There were no Catholic services until church mass on Sunday, but I wanted to be well prepared.
When I heard a knock at the door I looked up from my bible and called out, “Yes? Who is it?”
“Uh, can I speak to you Father?” I recognized Maureen’s voice. I laid down the bible and said, “Oh yes Maureen. Come in.”
The thin, petite light-skinned black woman who kept up with all of the chapel library and church activities came in with a tablet in her hand, and stared at me. “I hate to bother you Father, but I thought you should know, in case you hadn’t already found out yet, Alison Williams is getting released from prison this week.”
“She is? Where is Ms. Williams going?”
“She’s finished with her time and fixing to go to her home Father.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.” I gazed at Maureen carefully. “So, that means we’re going to need someone to replace her.” I grimaced now, feeling conscientous about the oversight on my part. Once again Maureen had come to the rescue. I didn’t know how many times since I had started working at Carlyle, she had helped me keep up with some important matter, in the chapel library. I felt at a lost.
I rubbed my hands over my eyes. “What are we going to do?”
“Father Daniel, there is a new inmate that I know of, who is looking for a work assignment. She’d love to work here as the new chapel clerk, if it’s alright with you of course. She’s well able to do the duties and I already know that she and I get along.”
“Oh, who would that be?” I asked.
“Her name is Kelly Hall. We’re roommates. I can vouch for Kelly being a totally reliable person and able to get the job done.”
Silence. Finally I said,“It sounds like you and this person get along well, in being roommates. So you can pass the message on to the roommate that I’m willing to consider her for this work assignment.”
Maureen held out the tablet. I gazed at it. On the front of the tablet was a work assignment form neatly filled out.“This is Kelly Hall’s work assignment request. Oh and Father, if you’d like to see her first, she’ll be coming over after dinner time.”
I took the paper and observed the name at the top. KELLY HALL. I abruptly signed the sheet of paper on the signature line and handed the tablet back to Maureen.
“Uh, you don’t want to meet her first?” Maureen asked, smiling.
I shook my head. “No worry, I trust your judgment Maureen. Tell her she’s got the job. I can meet Ms. Hall when she starts on Thursday.”
Maureen nodded and tip toed out of the room, closing the door behind her.
∞
I got up, walked to the window and looked outside. Although there was nothing in view from the library chapel window, except for trees and grass, my thoughts went back to the hours before, when I’d said goodbye to my dad.
Finally, I had learned from him, the truth. I am gifted in pastoring. And my gift had been apparent years back in my childhood years, when I was new at the word. I turned around and went back to my chair, sat down and began thinking about the earlier dinner and discussion that day that we’d had—
“You’ve made your mother and I very proud of you son. I want you to know that,” said my dad. Robert and Leslie Nicholson adopted me when I was ten years of age. Robert was now not only my dad, but also a great friend. We were sitting in Ralph’s Steakhouse after having just finished a hearty goodbye meal at the moderately priced restaurant, before he was to fly back to Boston.
My thoughts and concerns about my mom and dad’s health problems came to a halt momentarily, at the compliment he’d just given me. Near the center of the table were two glasses of iced tea and white napkins, the remaining items from our meal in the moderately priced restaurant.
I gazed at my dad in awe. His tone had suddenly become somber, in the five day visit that he had stayed, at my home. The fragile looking matured man dressed in a pin stripe suit, with gray hair, and dark eyes behind speckles gazed back at me smiling. “I really hope that you take time to enjoy your life sometimes too Daniel. I’ve learned how really important that is, now that your mother and I are getting older and having health problems. Life is short. I know that you’re a Priest. And your mother and I couldn’t be mor
e proud about that, but I want you to always remember that you only have one life to live on this earth. So live it well. And find happiness when you can.
This was quite a change from the living principles my mom and dad had raised me under. I’d always been taught to lay down my cross, follow Jesus and always seek to do what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Now my dad was talking about seeking happiness in life? This was a total turn-around from the way in which my parents had drilled me, for being perfect before the Lord.
I was astonished. ”Uh, I do enjoy life dad.”
“But are you happy son?”
I’m happy being a Priest. I really don’ want you to worry about my happiness.” I stared into his eyes intently. “I so look forward to visiting you and mom. It’s been a long time since I’ve come to Boston and I miss being home. I will be coming there soon.”
“Your mother and I will be very happy to see you when you come. And just so you’ll know, your mother stays in bed a lot more often now, because of the diabetes and high blood pressure.”
“Yes dad.”
“All I have to do is eat right and exercise, to keep my sugar down. But your mother has to have insulin for her diabetes, and is on medication for arthritis and high blood pressure.”
“I’m praying for both of you.”
He nodded and rubbed his chin. “All of these health problems came upon her after the stroke. But by the grace of God, she could be a lot worse off than she is.”
“Thank God she’s alive.”
My dad reached across the table and patted my shoulder. “ I don’t want you worrying about us either. We receive good care and attention from Annie. Annie’s a good homecare provider. She makes sure your mother gets her medications and she fixes us a nice meal, before she leaves, Monday through Friday.”
I smiled. The reassurance that they were receiving good care alleviated much of my concern, but I still looked forward to visiting my mom and dad on my next vacation.“Yes dad. That is great. I can’t wait until I get to Boston on my next vacation trip.”
“You’ve always been a good son. I still remember-twenty five years ago. You was this ten year old kid, thin and tall, but Leslie and I knew even then that you had a ministry calling. Your pastor’s gift was with you early.”
I smiled as I remembered meeting the missionary group that had come to the village I lived at, in Morocco. Back then, life was hard. There were sporadic fights between the French and my people. I did not recall very much about it except in bits and pieces, but I did remember that most of the time, I barely had enough food to eat I remembered being hungry all the time. Hunger was a terrible thing for a child to live with. I glanced down briefly at my firm looking abdomen area. I was tall at 6’4” and slim, but I wasn’t the skinny kid I used to be.
“You were so talkative my son when our missionary group met you. And so full of God’s word when you spoke, even back then. We all went there to spread God’s word in Morocco, and share the good news. I remember Leslie adored you after we had started giving bible classes to your village. You’d get up in front of everyone and recant word for word, the scriptures. Leslie and I were simply amazed at how quickly you absorbed the meaning of the bible teachings. You picked up your brand new bible, read it and learned so fast. Yes, you were born to be a minister. And your mother and I couldn’t forget about you in all good conscience after we returned to the states-because we knew that you were a child with very special gifts. We were very concerned because you had no mother and father to raise you.
I shook my head in remembrance, as I flashed back to the moments when my real parents were shot dead in our tent. The scene had haunted me all my life. Some part of me had wanted to die too, afterwards. And I would have died, if my biological father had not hidden me underneath felt coverings, just before the officers busted into our family’s tent. “Yes. I remember my parents dying in the conflict between the French and my village. I was the only one left, in our family.”
“Leslie told me that she wanted to adopt you a few days after we returned to our home in Boston. And I agreed.”
I shifted awkwardly, feeling odd that my dad had divulged for the first time, what had prompted him and my mom to adopt me, out of all the other children in the tribe I had come from. His candor endeared my heart.
“I just want you to always remember that we love you son,” he said extending his hand across the table and firmly grasping mine. “Your mother and I are both in ill health, yes. We don’t know how much longer we’ll be around. So I just wanted you to know how we came to adopt you. And you are very loved, by us.”
“You don’t have to worry Dad. I know that you all love me,” I said. I pulled back my hand and glanced at my watch. The time read 1:35pm. I was surprised how fast two hours had passed by while we’d eaten and talked at the restaurant. “Dad, it’s getting late.”
“is it that time already?”
“Yes. Your flight leaves in two and a half hours so we’d best be going-before the traffic gets heavy.”
I paid for the meal with my card. Afterwards, we got up, went outside to the parking lot and got into my black Ford Explorer. I looked at my dad before driving away, still enamored in his frankness, and knew that I’d truly been blessed in having him and my mom to adopt me.
Five
First sight
I’d just entered the chapel library when I first saw her. I knew of our new chapel library clerk but I didn’t expect to see such a beauty, leaning over one of the book carts, her hair flowing. Maureen sat on the other side of the cart, faced towards the desk. Maureen looked at me as I headed towards my office, quickly got up, nudged Kelly and both walked across the room towards me. “Father Daniel, this is the new chapel clerk, Kelly Hall.
“Hi Father Daniel. I’m so thankful for you signing me on to work here. I promise, I won’t let you down.”
I nodded, smiled and said, “Hello.” I didn’t wait for her to respond but quickly turned around and dodged into my office. As I closed the door and went behind my desk I puckered my lips, feeling surprised in seeing the attractive tall, fair young woman that I’d just encountered. The more I thought of her the more my pants protruded with an extreme urgency.
I looked downwards. I was shaken. My pants were protruding at the fly. This was very disconcerting to me. I hadn’t said much to the new clerk, because I was caught by surprise by my body’s knee jerk reaction. I wasn’t supposed to have a hard prick, being the prison Priest, and I knew it. This response however had been automatic. I took off my brown cape and flung it onto one of the coat hooks behind my desk. I placed my hands in my pockets, went to the window and gazed outside at the green grass and trees now billowing in the blowing wind.
I decided the best thing to do now was to concentrate on reading my bible. And that is what I did. Before I knew it, 9pm had come and it was time to go home. I grabbed my brown felt hat, matching cape and left the office. The chapel library was empty. Maureen and Kelly had already left, as I had expected, since 8:30pm was the required turn in time for all of Carlyle’s inmates. I felt relaxed now. The night sky was beautiful with a full moon and bright stars. I walked towards my Ford Explorer. After reaching it in the parking lot, I got in and drove the two miles to my home.
Six
Cassock
Maureen and Kelly were standing together, waiting for me in front of the prison church when I arrived. Sunday morning was always special because I gave church mass on that day. They almost looked like two school girls to me, with the short sleeved khaki dresses, white low cut socks and navy blue sneakers. I tried to not stare but couldn’t help noticing how taunt Kelly’s full-sized breasts stacked up, where the dress gathered over them. Wearing the short khaki dress, I could see her long shapely legs and curvy figure all the better.
“Hi Father. We’re glad to see you,” Maureen said. What do you want me and Kelly to do before mass starts this morning?”
I unlocked the door to the chapel and said, “I’m glad you’re b
oth already here. So we have enough time to get things ready for worship service.”
“Yes Father Daniel,” Maureen replied.
They followed me down the oblong hallway that led to the chapel sanctuary. I eyed the blue carpet and white walls as we moved along, making sure everything looked spotless. I opened up the double church doors and entered inside the sanctuary behind the women. There were 100 gray fabric upholstery chairs neatly spaced in rows and columns in the central area of the church and 25 small, blue padded chairs that the choir members sat in, near the wall on the right side of the church.
“What a nice looking church,” Kelly said. I heard her speak for the first time and noticed she had a soft voice. Everything about her in fact, I took notice of. My responses to her bothered me.
I felt my cheeks turning red, so instead of dwelling on my attraction to Kelly I pointed towards the blue metal padded foldable chairs on the right side of the sanctuary and said, “Okay ladies. I need the choir chairs moved towards the front, and placed on the right side of the pulpit.”
“No problem,” Maureen said. She and Kelly went to the chairs and began moving them one by one to the new location.
I watched them a few seconds and walked to the left exit door, which led to the chapel office. I sat down at my desk, opened up the bible and highlighted parts of the text I intended to give a sermon upon, for mass. God, Jesus and Holy Spirit. If you were a Christian you believed in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They were one and they were three. Before long, I had gone deep into meditation and reflection on the scriptures. I had worn a black suit and gray patterned tie. Time had passed on, when I heard the choir voices coming from the sanctuary. I knew the women must have started pouring into the chapel.
I generally kept my Cossack in the small closet near the entrance of the chapel’s office. Today, however, it was neatly folded on the desk. I stood up, lifted up the garment and put my arms into the sleeves. Just as I was about to fasten it, I heard a light knock at my door.
