Roadside Bodhisattva

by Di Filippo, Paul

  Mostly I learned to tune her out, just like Ann and Sue mostly did. And I figured that if she was bothering Sid with her “environment” talk, he was ignoring her the same way. After all, he was even more “mature” than me, right?

  Apparently not.

  Sid and I had finished painting the cabins. They looked a thousand times better than before. The lawn had gotten its second mowing since we had arrived at the Park, and we had spread seed over the bare patches. On deck were some repairs to the office-slash-apartment building, reshingling the roof and such. But as his very next improvement, Sid had planted flowers everywhere. Sue and Sid had taken Anns car to a nursery out on Route 1 and returned with dozens of plastic flats full of plants. Baby geraniums and petunias and other stuff I didn’t recognize. Sid set these baby plants with lots of care into the prepared ground around the cabins, around the office, around the diner, around our trailer. Even the garage now featured some flowers in pots between the pumps and on either side of the bay door. Naturally, all these plants needed watering, especially when it hadn’t rained in several days, which it hadn’t.

  It was four in the afternoon. Everyone was heading out the door of the diner, except Sid. He was already gone. He had excused himself a little earlier, saying he wanted to tend to his flowers.

  Sonny pedaled off on his clunky bike. Sue followed Ann back to the rental office. Ann was trying to convince Sue to get back into school for about the hundredth time, but Sue wasn’t any more agreeable to the idea than ever. Angie headed off to the garage. He was still dressing special for lunch, changing back to his work clothes for the rest of his afternoon duties. He never said much while we ate, but I could tell that he was happy to be there with us. Ann seemed pleased too, to have her ex-brother-in-law acting halfway normal again.

  Yasmine and I were standing next to her car, while she counted out my share of her tips for the day. Sid came around from behind the diner.

  He was trailing a hose, hooked up to the spigot near the back door of the diner. He was obviously aiming to water the flowers in front of the diner. But he hadn’t bothered to shut off the hose at the nozzle. So while he walked across the lawn and the gravel, his hose was spraying water uselessly everywhere.

  Yasmine freaked. “What the hell are you doing, you moron! You’re killing the planet!”

  Sid stopped. But he didn’t make any move to twist the nozzle to stop the undirected flow of water that was pissing Yasmine off. He got a grim look on his face, and I flinched. Yasmine didn’t know about Sid’s tit-for-tat philosophy.

  “I’m a moron killing the planet, huh? How do you figure that?”

  Yasmine pointed at the gushing hose. “All that water! Its being wasted!”

  Sid looked down at the hose like he had forgotten he was carrying it. “Oh, you mean this water that’s going back into the soil and on down to the water table?”

  “It doesn’t matter where it’s going! You’re still drawing down the reservoir for nothing. What if we have a drought later this summer?”

  “A drought? Yasmine, this state just had one of its snowiest winters in history. The reservoirs are full.”

  “That’s all besides the point. Back in California—”

  “Forget your fucking California! California’s a fucking desert! People couldn’t even live there until they stole all the water of their neighbors. And even now they don’t have enough. That’s why you all have to walk around unwashed and stinking, with corks up your asses. But this is the fucking Northeast! We’ve got more water than we know what to do with. We’ll wash our cars twice a day if we want to. We’ll change the water in our swimming pools every fucking week. We’ll have water-balloon fights as big as the goddamn Gulf War and more wet t-shirt contests than a million spring breaks. And if anyone starts to worry, we’ll just point up to the skies. You know what’s happening up there in the stratosphere? A regular goddamn rain of icy micrometeorites is bringing fresh water to the whole planet every minute of every goddamn day.”

  Yasmine just stood there with her jaw hanging down, until Sid flicked the hose at her, nailing her with a few drops. Her pretty face got all bug-eyed. She shrieked in frustration, dove into her car and peeled out.

  Sid yelled out one parting shot. “And that heap you drive pollutes the air more than your mouth!”

  I looked away from the speeding car and back to Sid. He was grinning like a happy fool. I felt irritated with him, and kinda sad for Yasmine.

  “Did you have to come down so hard on her?”

  Now that Yasmine was gone, Sid twisted off the flow of water from the hose. “Listen, Kid, I don’t have anything against Yasmine. She’s got a tough row to hoe, what with getting jerked up by her roots out west, dragged back east, then getting stuck with all the responsibility for her sick mother. But I hate being preached at, especially by someone who doesn’t have their own act together. That girl is too used to getting by on her looks. And she’s got an inflated notion of her own opinions. She’s grown up smug and superior, with nobody daring to contradict her. She’s got to get down off her high horse and realize that she doesn’t have all the answers, and that other people deserve some respect.”

  I didn’t say anything right away. I thought about how maybe what seemed like cruelty on Sid’s part might be something like the hit with the stick that the Roshi would deliver when you were sitting in meditation. Maybe he knew what he was doing with Yasmine. He had been right about Angie, hadn’t he?

  “Is that stuff about the micrometeorites true?” I asked.

  Sid shrugged. “It’s one theory.” Then he turned to water his flowers.

  For a while I watched the bright beads of moisture splatter on the plant leaves, collecting together and running off in little waterfalls. Finally I said, “Sid, you remember that advice you gave me about Sue?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, tonight I’m gonna do it. I’ll ask to go with her into Lumberton.”

  “Good. Let me know how it goes.”

  “I didn’t do it before now, because she didn’t go into town since you and me discussed things. Well, maybe once, but she took me by surprise—”

  “Listen, Kid, I’m not riding your shoulders like some old man of the sea. You do it when you do it. No need to apologize, or to explain anything to me.”

  “Okay. That’s cool then.” As long as Sid and I were talking about women, I figured I’d ask him about Ann. Maybe Sid had made some progress with her. “Uh, how are you and Ann getting along?”

  Sid fixed me with a stare I couldn’t really interpret. “Me and Ann are not an item, buddy. I just like her company. We spend most of the time together talking about this joint, how to get it running in the black”

  “Well, that’s cool. Got any good ideas yet?”

  “We’re working on a few. Now, how about mixing me up some of that fertilizer in the shed? You know the blue crystal stuff? You use a quarter cup per watering can. Do me up three of ’em, if you would.”

  “Sure, Sid.”

  Sid and I made the best use of the afternoon light, working outdoors till about seven, when the sun was finally starting to look weaker, although we had an hour or more before it got really dark. We didn’t have to work these long hours, from early in the morning till almost night time. Ann didn’t demand it. But we wanted to. At least I did. Deer Park had gotten to be more than a job. I had a stake in the place now, and it seemed like Sid did too. Since we hadn’t screwed up with Angie, I had felt more at ease. Anyhow, the work wasn’t really that hard, and we were always taking breaks during the day and goofing around, so it never seemed like a grind.

  Sid coiled up the hose and I stored away the watering cans and other tools we had been using. A car pulled into the lot in front of the rental office and a man got out, how old I couldn’t really say. He left a young girl in the car. She looked about Sue’s age, with long blonde hair. When the guy came out, he moved the car to near one of the cabins, and him and the girl went inside. I felt weird. I looked to Sid
, to see if he had spotted the action, and maybe had something to say about it. But he hadn’t, or didn’t.

  We split up then, Sid going to see Ann and me heading to the apartment’s kitchen.

  Sue was nuking some of the food Ann had stocked for me. It smelled good, and I realized I was starving again.

  “Hey, Kid. Grab a seat Grub in thirty.”

  Sue opened the fridge, got out a liter of Dew and poured two, glasses. The microwave chimed, and she pulled out some Hot Pockets. She slid them onto a plate and set the plate on the table in front of me.

  “Thanks, Sue.”

  Sue sat down on the other side of the table and lit up a cigarette.

  “Aren’t you gonna eat something with me?”

  She grabbed a roll of fat through her shirt where her farmer jeans gapped above her waist. “Gotta watch the calories, Kid. I’ve been packing it on since I came to live with Aunt Ann. You might not believe it, but back home I was a size ten. Now my frigging bra straps cut into me like Lil’ Kim’s thong in her ass crack. Here, take a look.”

  Sue pivoted on her chair and lifted up the side of her shirt. I got a good look at the side strap of her bra and part of the right cup, straining across her flesh. Then she dropped her shirt back and stuffed it into her pants. She grinned at me and exhaled some smoke.

  It took me a while to get my thoughts together and say something. “I, ah, jeez, Sue, I think you look great just the way you are.”

  “You just haven’t seen anything with boobs besides me for too long.”

  “That’s not true. Yasmine—”

  “Oh, Christ, don’t compare me to that old cow! I’m talking about other babes my age.”

  “Uh, just how old are you, Sue? I never asked.”

  “Seventeen. You?”

  “Sixteen.”

  “What a baby!”

  “Am not!” As soon as I said this, I realized I sounded totally four years old.

  “Are too. But that’s okay. I like younger men good enough. When I can’t get older ones, that is.”

  The image of the couple who had just rented a cabin swam up in front of my eyes. I pictured Sue hooking up with some skeazy geezer, and started feeling a little sick. But then I started thinking about Jack and Japhy, how they had always picked up younger chicks for their fun. Did that make Jack a sleazebag? And as far as I could remember, the Prophet didn’t weigh in on the issue of old guys with young babes at all. I didn’t know what to think.

  Sue said, “You done, Kid? I wanna wash the dishes before I head into town.”

  It was now or never. “Sue, how about if I came with you?”

  Sue smiled big. “Well, well, well, I thought you’d never ask. I wondered how long it would take you to get sick of laying around in your trailer with your earbuds in. Sure, we’ll go into town together. You’ll meet my friends.”

  That prospect didn’t sound too thrilling. Somehow I had pictured having Sue all to myself in town. But it only made sense that she had to be hanging with some bunch of friends.

  “Well, great. I’m sure they’ll be cool. When are we leaving?”

  Sue dropped her cigarette into her untouched soda, and it sizzled dead. “Right now.”

  “Can I change up first?”

  “Sure. Most of your clothes are still in the wash, though. But I can find you something. Hold on.”

  Sue left the kitchen and came back in a minute with some clean jeans and a blue t-shirt that said action auto parts. And it was only then that it hit me.

  These were Tony’s clothes. They had belonged to Ann’s dead son. I had been wearing a ghost’s clothes in front of his mother. Ann must think I was pretty okay to let me borrow these clothes, and not freak when she saw me in them. Angie was another story. The way he dressed, I figured he’d have a hard time remembering what anyone else had ever worn.

  I think Sue understood what was going through my head, because she got a little more soft around the edges than she usually was.

  “Take your time changing up. It’s still early. I’ll meet you outside, in the car.”

  “Should we tell Ann and Sid we’re leaving?”

  Sue’s soft side disappeared as quickly as it had popped up. “Jesus, you really are a baby, aren’t you? Haven’t you learned yet that nobody can tell you ‘no’ if you don’t tell them what you’re planning in the first place? Now, hustle!”

  Sue went out the door, and I went into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and checked myself out in the mirror. Whatever I saw there would have to do.

  Ann’s car was a monster, some ancient faded white rust-spotted boat from before the time when gasoline cost over two dollars a gallon. The front seat was one long bench covered in some kinda weird vinyl stuff. A knitted afghan draped over the upper part of the front seat and across the rest of the bench hid most of the rips.

  Sue was already behind the wheel, with the motor turning over roughly. I got in.

  “Wanna drive?”

  “I don’t have a license. I grew up in the city. Nobody my age had a license.”

  Sue snorted. “Baby”

  Then she peeled out.

  The car was so old the radio only got AM stations, and there was nothing on them but talk shows and news. So Sue and I had to pass the drive to Lumberton with conversation. That was okay by me. For a few miles Sue conducted a tour, pointing out various sights, including the small house where Sonny the cook lived with his sister Evelyn. Then I listened to her bitch about her folks for a while, before I told her a little about mine. But that got old fast So I told her how Sid had caused Yasmine to lose it just a short while ago.

  Sue laughed. “Serves that bitch right! She thinks she can wrap anyone around her little finger, especially men. But your buddy’s immune. He’s something else, Sid. I’ve never seen anyone quite like him. He seems to know just what buttons to push to get whatever result he wants. How long have you know him? Has he always been that sharp?”

  Admitting I had just met Sid just a couple of weeks ago would’ve sounded really stupid. “Oh, we go back a ways. I can honestly say he’s been just like you see him, for as long as I’ve known him.”

  “I hope he and Aunt Ann get it on. She needs a man in her life. My candy-ass uncle knocked her for a loop when he cut and ran on her.”

  “Sid say’s there’s nothing going on between them.”

  “Yeah, right, of course he’s gonna say that. Old people are messed-up when it comes to sex. They like to hide things. I can’t figure out why, but they do.”

  “Not Sid. He always plays straight with everyone. He’s not ashamed or frightened of anything. And he knows a lot about a lot of stuff. He’ll tell you just what he’s thinking, and tough shit if you don’t like it.”

  “Maybe. Maybe that’s true nearly all the time. But sex changes everything. Hey, speaking of which, you still got that condom I gave you? Maybe you’ll get lucky tonight.”

  I looked out the window. Night had come down while we drove. The scattered businesses and long stretches of trees on Route I had been replaced by urban streets with sidewalks, buildings packed more tightly together, all lit by harsh streetlights. Some small factories, three-story tenements with broken plastic toys in their yards, a garage advertising collision service, empty lots full of litter and shopping carts. Once on the web I had seen some pictures of Lowell, Massachusetts, where Jack had grown up. If this was Lumberton, it reminded me of Lowell. A lot smaller and crummier than what I was used to back home.

  Looking back to Sue, I said, “Yeah, I got it right here.” I patted one pocket. “But something tells me that’s exactly where it’s going to stay.”

  Sue shrugged. “Never know.” She took a cigarette out of the pack in her bib, then reached forward and pushed in something sticking out of the dashboard.

  “What’s that?”

  “Watch.”

  In a short time the gadget popped out and Sue removed it. She showed me a hot coil inside before she applied it to her cigarette. “Dashboard light
er. Man, when this car was built, people knew what was important. They knew how to live!”

  Several turns took us onto a dead-end street of triple-deckers. We parked in front of one with peeling green paint and a waist-high chainlink fence around its tiny yard. A lopsided one-car garage stood next to the house. The yard was full of dogshit that had killed most of the grass. I almost didn’t want to get out of the car, but by the time Sue had already reached the gate, I knew I had to.

  We went down the short cement walkway and up a few steps, onto a rickety porch with an old busted-up couch on it. Music boomed from inside. Not my kind, but Sue’s. Hip-hop and rap.

  Sue had to bang hard on the door to make sure the people inside would hear her. It opened up a minute later.

  The guy who appeared was brown-skinned, maybe Hispanic. Shaggy black hair, thick mustache, bad complexion, deep-set eyes hard to make out in the bad light. He got excited to see Sue.

  “Hey, chica, welcome back! Jayzee’ll be glad to see you.” The guy spotted me. “You bring your little brother with you?”

  I had to bite my tongue not to say something smartass, and Sue must’ve known this guy’s words hurt, because she banged her hip against mine like there was more between us than there really was.

  “This is a guy I work with. Kid A. He’s all right. Kid A, this is Tito.”

  I stuck out my hand and Tito shook it in some kinda weird complicated way I couldn’t really respond to. “Cool. C’mon in.”

  The front door led to a tiny entry hall. A giant sack of dry dog food took up most of the space. A rip in the sack had spilled a pile of kibble onto the floor. The food pebbles crunched as we walked across them. Tito opened the inner door.

  The large room beyond was lit with dozens of strings of Christmas lights, no lamps. The lights were strung high up from every possible place, so they made a kind of web above everybody’s head. Some of the strings twinkled. The room was full of smoke, dope smoke as best as I could tell. I hadn’t smoked a lot of dope in my life. In fact, only twice.