The Perpetual Quest for the Perfect Life

by Pace, Michelle

  “Heather, huh? What is she, a Hooters girl?” Aaron scoffed, as he felt his temper flare.

  “She’s a nurse.” Ryan glared at him and rubbed his wounded jaw. Aaron choked out a humorless laugh.

  “Well, aren’t you a walking fucking cliché?”

  “Bite me, Aaron.”

  “You told me this bullshit was over, you lying piece of shit.”

  “What the hell is your problem?”

  “You have a wife at home. You don’t deserve to breathe the same air as Nicole.”

  Ryan laughed haughtily and Aaron clenched his fists.

  “Oh, is that funny? Let’s see how funny it is when I knock your permanent teeth down your throat.”

  “You need to get a grip. Nicole’s my wife. We’ve been through a lot of shit together.”

  “No. You’ve put her through a lot of shit and I’ve sat back and let you. I should have taken her away from you a long time ago.”

  Ryan laughed again. “You’re pathetic, Aaron. You don’t have the balls to make a play for Nic. You never have.”

  “She would have been a hell of a lot happier with me.”

  “Right, I can totally see Nicole as a farmer’s wife.” The bathroom door swung wide and Heather rushed past Aaron and out the hotel room door. He noticed Ryan didn’t even look in her direction.

  “You arrogant bastard,” Aaron replied quietly, his voice quivering with anger. “She deserves to know what you really are.” Aaron saw Ryan’s eyes widen for a moment before his mask of confidence reappeared.

  “You whiny little bitch. Now you’re going to grow a pair? Go on and tell her what you saw here. Be sure to explain why you didn’t tell her about the other times.”

  Delivering a swift punch, Aaron felt Ryan’s nose crunch under his knuckles. The punch knocked Ryan back against the entertainment center, the impact tilting the entertainment center against the wall. Aaron shook his right hand, wondering if he had broken a finger. Ryan held his nose, which was now bleeding profusely. Neither of them spoke for a couple of long moments.

  “Go ahead and tell her everything. I’m tired of being the guy everyone expects me to be.” As Ryan pinched the bridge of his nose and lifted his head to the ceiling to try to stop the bleeding, Aaron’s disgust for Ryan was all consuming.

  “What the hell happened to you, man?” He shook his head and as he turned to the door, he spoke, “I should have let that car hit you.”

  The memory of his last words to Ryan chilled him to the bone and he tried to warm himself up with a sip of coffee from his thermos. He turned the fight over in his head, looking at it like a broken object in need of repair. There was no taking it back, no solution to find. The storm had passed and darkness had fallen. As he looked at the stars in the night sky, his carefully constructed walls tumbled down. It was time to shine the harsh light of judgment on himself. He couldn’t blame Ryan any longer or use him as an excuse; he was the reason he wasn’t with Nicole.

  All the opportunities he’d missed to tell her how he felt were on him and no one else. He’d played mind games with himself and hid like a coward from his love for her behind a misguided sense of loyalty to Ryan Harper.

  “You’re pathetic, Aaron. You don’t have the balls to make a play for Nic. You never have.”

  Enough is enough. The bullshit stops here. I’ll tell her and let her decide.

  As he pressed on toward town, he took the curve too fast and his stomach dropped as his salt truck slid sideways around the bend. A pickup truck blared its horn at him and nearly missed t-boning him, pulling around him at the last second. He pulled over for a minute, trying to catch his breath. Peeling his hands from the steering wheel, he realized he’d somehow bent it. Fortunately, it still worked. He eased back onto the road, deciding that arriving at Nicole’s alive would probably be more productive.

  After several failed attempts to get up the hill to her driveway, he bailed on that plan and turned the truck around, parking it haphazardly on Main Street. He knew he’d get a ticket and piss off half the town (his truck proudly stated “Foster’s Farm”), but at the moment he only cared about the opinion of one person in Jefferson Point.

  He jumped down from the truck and nearly lost his footing as he landed on a sheet of ice. He used his truck for balance as he made his way to the sidewalk, which had thankfully been salted. As he approached the stairs to Nicole’s, he saw Colin carefully descending the stairs, gripping onto the hand railing for dear life. Colin’s jaw hit the ground as he narrowed his eyes at Aaron.

  “I should have listened to Sean,” Colin mumbled, as he reached street level. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, shook his head, and cracked a crooked grin. “Good luck.”

  Aaron blinked at him blankly and stared after him, confused, as Colin slipped across the street. Then he made a mad dash up the stairs. He somehow managed to get onto the porch without falling and knocked on the door. He yanked off his hat and raked a nervous hand through his hair, his adrenaline at an all-time high.

  The porch light blinded him and he heard the door open. Once his eyes readjusted, he saw Nicole staring up at him in wide-eyed surprise. Aaron pushed the door open and forcefully yanked her into his arms. He smothered her with a passionate kiss, practically knocking the table over in their wake.

  “I’m such an idiot.” He managed between kisses, his hands in her silky hair. “I’m in love with you, Nic. It’s always been you.”

  She pulled away from him, gasping for air and touched his face, her eyes locked with his. She seemed to search him, judge him, and accept that he told the truth. She opened her mouth and as she moved in with kisses of her own, she whispered, “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”

  Their lips were locked as she unzipped his coat and forced it over his shoulders. His mouth never left hers as he kicked off his boots and tore open her shirt, buttons flying everywhere. Her hands made their way to his shirt buttons and she managed to get two of them undone before he yanked it off over his head. They broke away from one another and he watched as she ran her fingertips over his shoulders and down his arms, taking him in with those astounding eyes. She took both of his hands and pulled him into the living room, forcefully pushing him back onto her couch. She shrugged off the remains of her blouse, and stood before him—a vision in only a black see-through bra, short skirt, and high heels.

  As she climbed onto his lap, he hungrily yanked her mouth to his. Their fevered kiss grew in intensity, and he growled as she tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth. He fisted her hair, and tilted her head back for better access to the creamy white flesh of her neck. The tiny sounds that she made as she squirmed on his lap nearly took him over the edge. Unable to resist a moment more, he ripped open the fly of his jeans. He raised himself up and Nicole tugged at his pants, seeming as eager to free him as he was to be unleashed.

  A desperate moan escaped her, driving him to run his hands up her thighs and underneath her skirt. A year of pent-up sexual frustration overtook his senses and he lifted her up and placed her onto her back. He wanted to watch her face, to burn her features into his memory. He flipped up her skirt and slid aside her panties. Having used up every last ounce of his restraint, he entered her roughly, making her cry out.

  He shuddered as the sensation of being inside her stunned him. He stilled himself, staring down at her glistening skin and her parted lips, wet and begging to be kissed again. He leaned down, brushing them tenderly with his and sighed in her ear, “I should have fought for you.”

  As he met her eyes again, a single tear rolled down her cheek. Her legs wrapped possessively around him and he groaned. Digging into his shoulders with her nails, she met every one of his powerful thrusts with her own.

  Avery leaned on the balcony railing, taking in the famous landscape of Monument Valley. She’d watched many westerns with her dad and knowing he’d love to see it, she snapped a quick picture of it for him with her phone.

  Shilah had been silent the entire drive to th
eir hotel. Once they’d checked in, he went for a walk. Though Avery wanted to barrage him with questions, it was obvious that he needed some time alone.

  He came back an hour later and went directly into the bathroom. Hearing the shower, she walked into the bathroom. She stood leaning against the doorway, watching Shilah's every move through the glass. As she removed her clothes, he leaned his head under the shower faucet, and water streamed down his face. Avery raised an eyebrow and then walked to the shower door, opening it slowly.

  “Need someone to wash your back?” She purred and entered the shower. Shilah smiled gently then handed her the soap. He turned and placed his hands on the wall. Avery squeezed a generous amount of the body wash on the loofah, lathered it and began washing him. She leaned in close and rubbed herself against him.

  “Feels good,” Shilah mumbled. He took the loofah from her and began washing her breasts. Enjoying the feeling of his hands on her, her eyes opened as he began to speak.

  “He wasn’t always like that,” he offered. “He used to have a major role in the Navajo community.”

  Avery watched his face for clues on his emotional state. He seemed to have trouble meeting her eyes.

  “When Mom and Dad met, I’m told there was much love between them. Certain members of the council started treating him differently for marrying a non-Dine. When I came along, their issues escalated. Even though my dad tried to involve me and instill the traditions in me, I wasn’t as into it as he wanted me to be. He started drinking and was gone a lot. He eventually lost all clout with the powers that be, due to his own negligence. Then he took it out on me, so Mom took me and left. I was twelve.”

  Avery reached up and pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his cheek.

  “Everyone you meet likes you Shilah. How can your own flesh and blood treat you like that?”

  She kissed him tenderly and he embraced her.

  “Is he why you brought me here?”

  “Yes. He’s a part of me and I wanted to share that with you. No matter how much a pain in the ass family can be, they’re still family.”

  “I’m sorry you grew up with a dad that made you feel like you didn’t belong. At least your family issues were out in the open.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She paused. “It’s really not my story to tell.”

  Avery turned from him.

  “Hey, I wasn't done.” Shilah chuckled.

  Shilah ran a finger between Avery's breasts making her shiver. She didn't want him to stop. Avery felt Shilah's skillful mouth on her neck. He reached behind her and shut the shower off.

  She grabbed a towel and dried off, watching Shilah’s reflection in the mirror. Aware that he was trying to connect with her on a deeper level, fear threatened to consume her. He stopped and stared at her. He came up behind her and she turned to greet him with her lips. He entwined his fingers with hers and dropped his towel. He pulled her to him and led her to the bed.

  “Oh Avery,” he moaned in her ear. He pushed her towel back and took her in with his dark brown eyes. Reaching onto the bedside table, he grabbed a condom. Avery wrapped herself around him as he took his time, entering her slowly.

  “I love you,” he whispered in her ear. Avery was too stunned and couldn't reciprocate. She opened her mouth, wanting to tell him the same, but the words clung to her throat.

  Nicole woke with a start to the sound of someone pounding on her door. Though they'd broken a few things along the way, she and Aaron had managed to relocate to the bed during the wee hours of the morning. He looked amazing sprawled across her side of the bed. He rolled over and pulled her to him with a contented, guttural purr. The pounding persisted.

  “Aaron, wake up.” She gently, but firmly, slapped his face in order to get him to release her. His green eyes reluctantly blinked open and as he stretched, she was distracted by the way the sheets nearly exposed him.

  “Someone's at the door.” She forced herself out of the bed and realizing that she was nude, searched the room frantically for some article of clothing. Avoiding the shards of glass from her ill-fated lamp, she threw on her robe. Racing down the stairs, she pulled open the door. Jules stood on her porch, a coffee carrier with two coffees in her hand. She raised an eyebrow, her dour expression etched firmly in place.

  “Hey.” Nicole greeted her, never so surprised to see anyone in her life.

  “Morning.” Jules forced the coffees at her. “Peace offering from Lauren. She wanted to come herself, but she's a chicken shit.”

  “Oh.” Nicole took the coffees with a furrowed brow. One had 'Nic' written on the side in Sharpie. The other said 'Boy Toy.'

  “And I'm supposed to tell Aaron, and I quote, 'drink your coffee and move your effing truck out of the center of Main.'“

  Jules left the porch before Nicole's groggy brain had time to register the implications of her statement. When she finally did, she covered both of her eyes with her free hand. She heard Aaron trudging down the stairs and snorted when she heard him hit his head on her low ceiling again. She met him in the kitchen and handed him his coffee. He smiled at her slyly, those dimples dazzling her in the morning sunlight.

  “I hope you didn't go to CoffeeSmith’s dressed like that.” His naughty tone made her bite the inside of her lip to keep from grinning like a fool.

  “I didn't need to go. It was a special delivery. Lauren thinks you should move your truck.” He nearly spit out the coffee and she visualized the light bulb turning on over his head. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his mussed hair.

  “Shit. Well, that's one way to mark my territory, I suppose.”

  “You think?” She sipped her coffee. It was her drink of choice. A visit to Lauren was in order.

  “Let me see if I can find my clothes.” As he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, she noticed she'd left claw marks on his back, shoulders, and even saw some peeking out of the top of his boxers.

  Someone needs a manicure.

  She giggled to herself softly like a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl. He stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow.

  “What's so funny, doll face?”

  “Oh, nothing ... just you calling me your territory.” Nicole smirked sassily, trying to look unimpressed. He moved so fast she was taken off guard and as he pinned her to the side of the fridge, Nicole squealed as she nearly spilled her coffee.

  “Mine.” He growled like a caveman and though Nicole knew she was singlehandedly setting the feminist movement back sixty years, she nearly swooned. His large hands were on the lapels of her robe, and he began to push it open and over her shoulders when she gave him a scolding look.

  “Truck,” she ordered.

  “Damn,” he grumbled, then released her and was off to retrieve his jeans.

  Nicole grabbed a towel and jumped in the shower. She knew she should be concerned about the gossip, but Aaron was all she could think about. Her entire body hummed at the mere thought of him in her house waiting on her. It was the fastest shower of her life.

  Aaron was humming a tune and cooking breakfast when she exited the restroom.

  “Did anybody see you?” She perched on a stool to watch him work.

  “Only the mayor.” He cracked an egg and grinned at her slyly. “He didn't look happy.”

  Later at the dining room table, Nicole was feeding Aaron her toast (which he attacked in an animalistic manner) when they heard Ike outside jabbering excitedly about Mommy. Aaron and Nicole froze and exchanged complex looks. Nicole had rationalized her relationship with Colin and her friendship with Aaron to death, but hadn’t had time to process the situation she now found herself in. Mitch was banging on the door.

  “Knock-knock,” he called. Nicole tightened the belt of her robe and waved for Aaron to go into another room.

  His expression serious, Aaron nodded and vanished into the kitchen. Nicole took a deep breath and opened the door.

  “Mommy! Firsty!” Ike yelled as he clung to her legs. Mitch gre
eted her with a smile. Ike ran for the kitchen and Nicole braced herself. Ike screeched in surprise and ran back out. Mitch’s expression quickly shifted to one of shock when Aaron appeared in the kitchen doorway, his hands in his pockets. His jaw clenched, and Nicole couldn’t remember Aaron ever looking so sheepish. He was fully dressed, but his face spoke volumes.

  I guess we’re doing this on Ike’s timeline.

  “Hey, Mitchel.” Aaron stuck his hand out to Mitch. Mitch slowly shook Aaron hand and his eyes darted around the room nervously. Nicole watched as he connected the dots. Her face burned as she picked Ike up and quickly surveyed the room for anything too incriminating. Ike stared at Aaron and popped his thumb in his mouth.

  “So was he good for you?” Nicole attempted to add a sense of normalcy to the incredibly awkward exchange.

  “He was great. Well, I think I’d better hit the road. It’s still slick in some spots. See ya.” Mitch practically tripped over his own feet as he attempted to hurry off the porch.

  “Bye. Thank you! Drive safely,” Nicole called after him. She knew that she and Aaron had approximately an hour before the phone calls started rolling in. She shut the door and snuggled Ike close.

  “Train,” Ike yelled and wriggled in her arms, pointing to his toys. She sat him down and struggled with him, removing his coat and shoes before allowing him to bolt for the toy box. She hung up his coat and turned to Aaron, her face serious.

  “So I suppose we ought to talk.”

  Aaron pulled a chair out for her, which she accepted with a sigh.

  “Yeah. Most people might have discussed a few things … first.”

  “Well, you know. Few people can talk around things like we can.” He took the seat next to her.

  Nicole nodded as butterflies commenced a fight club in her stomach.

  “When you’re right, you’re right.”

  “How do you want to do this?” Aaron took her hand.

  “I’m thinking about Ike.” Nicole’s mind raced. She didn’t give a damn about her reputation, but Ike had to grow up here and he was a Harper.