Before Him Comes Me

by Sure, Alexandria

  “Hello, Branden. How are you?”

  “I am well, Z. How are you?”

  Zara closes her laptop.

  “Fantastic. What is new with you?”

  “I came in to see what you are planning for our boy’s birthday. And to invite you to Viv’s singing debut. Guarantee she has not mentioned it yet… little shithead.”

  “What? Singing? Viv?!”

  “Exactly! Yes, my lovely amazingly talented designer of a sister also sings. Well, she sings secretly. I am outing her to everyone. She is performing at this exclusive function at the Henry Center next month. Black tie event. Unfortunately, it’s the same day as G’s birthday.”

  “No surprise party, man. Zara, NO PARTY!” Garrett proclaims as he strolls in and places his hands on Zara’s shoulders.

  “WOW… G, no one is even thinking about a party for you. Viv is performing for some black tie event the night of your birthday. I need you to come. She needs you to come. She needs you to come without you telling her that you know about it prior to the event.”

  “I didn’t know she was performing again. When did she start? Is she dating again too?” Garrett asks, taking a seat at the table.

  “She is not dating yet. Thanks… until now I had not thought about the possibility of her dating again.” Branden says.

  “Of course we will be there. How are you planning on getting us into the event?” Zara asks.

  “Security,” Garrett and Branden say at the same time. They break out in a fit of laughter as Beth walks through the door carrying two large bags of food.

  Zara looks at Garrett and smiles before hopping out of her chair. “Beth, I had no idea you were working here now,” Zara says excitedly. She gives Beth a hug and crushes the bags between their bodies. “When did you start? How do you like it? I’ve missed you.”

  Releasing her, Beth sets everything down on the table. “I’ve been here for almost a month. I still have a lot to learn, but it’s cool. Thanks. You know… for everything,” Beth says quietly.

  While Garrett grabs Zara’s laptop and moves it to his desk, Branden reads the tag on one of the bags and picks up the other. “Back to work, Ladies, you can catch up later. We still have a lot of work to do.”

  “Congratulations on the new job, Beth.”

  “Thanks, Zara. Let’s meet for coffee soon.”

  Garrett empties the contents of the remaining bag out onto the table. Placing a chicken salad sandwich in front of Zara, she smiles up at him.

  “Thank you,” Zara says softly and he gives her a quick wink.

  What the heck… Viv is a singer? Viv always seems like such an open book. Wonder why she never told me?

  Zara has been open about her past and the Community. A plan is beginning to form in Zara’s mind… Project Viv. Having only a few friends, it is important to Zara that she knows them and that they feel safe with her. Remembering she has only just told the girls about her past this week smarts a bit. Work needs to be done on both sides of her friendships.

  “Earth to Zara.” Garrett’s hand is waving in front of her face.

  “Sorry… So sorry. Yes?”

  “It’s okay. Where did you go, Little One?”

  “Thinking about Viv. I guess I know her a lot less than I thought that I did.”

  “Z, no worries. That’s Viv. That’s how she operates. It’s her shield,” Branden explains softly as he stands and puts all the trash into bags. “You’ll be around awhile. You’ll get in. Just give her time. She is worth it.”

  Branden picked up the bags of trash and walks out.

  Garrett looks at his phone. “Let’s go home.”

  Standing up, he practically throws Zara her laptop. She can tell something is going on, so she moves quickly to pack her bag. When she is done, Garrett is already at the door waiting impatiently for her.

  Garrett speeds all the way home. Sitting next to him in silence, Zara grows more and more concerned. This is a side of Garrett she has not seen and it makes her uneasy.

  The very second the tires come to a stop, Garrett is out the door and around the car to open Zara’s door. Moving as quickly as possible, she jumps out of the car and hurries into the house behind him.

  Zara turns to go to her bedroom. After two steps in that direction, Garrett stops her.

  “Hey. Where are you going? You have studying to do.”

  “I thought I would study in my room.”

  “You never study in your room. No. Come study in the den with me. Please. Come into the den.”

  “Okay… okay.” Zara slowly turns around. Looking at Garrett, she sees something in his face that she cannot pinpoint. He leads the way to the den.

  Entering the den, Zara walks toward the sofa and places her backpack on the coffee table. She turns and looks at Garrett standing there with a goofy smile. Zara starts to giggle; that is when she sees it.

  She covers her mouth with both hands, as she slowly walks toward a new desk. Somehow, in the amount of time that Garrett had taken her to his office to study, someone had come in and built connecting desks facing each other. A desktop computer with a large monitor and neatly arranged pink office supplies accent the new space, while the other desk holds Garrett’s stack of files.

  Walking around the new desk that had been set up for her, Zara finds a small black frame with a picture of the two of them at Christmas. Opposite her frame sits another black frame on Garrett’s desk.

  Bouncing out from behind her desk, Zara runs into Garrett’s arms and hugs him as hard as she can.

  “This is why I was in such a hurry to get home. I was excited for you to see your new study space. I’m sorry I scared you.”

  “I love it. Everything about it is perfect. Everything. Thank you for making me feel like I fit so perfectly here.”

  “You do fit perfectly.”

  “It’s home.”

  Chapter 33

  “I will be fine.”

  Garrett walks over to the bed and takes Zara’s face in both of his hands. “How about, I don’t want to leave you. How about, I’m not thrilled to be away from your beautiful face.” Kissing her square on the lips, Garrett releases her to return to his packing.

  “I mean… I am not jumping for joy that you are going away, either. But you did say that this was a necessary trip for an important client.”

  “Mhm, but I would feel better if you stayed at the loft with Viv.”

  “Garrett, this is my home now. Why do you want me to go to the loft?”

  “Little One, of course this is your home. It will always be your home. I would like for you to be at the loft for a couple of reasons. First, Viv will be alone as well and Branden is not excited about her staying by herself while he is out of town either.

  “Second, the loft has state of the art security. I want to know you are safe. As an added bonus, there is that super big bathtub that you absolutely love.”

  “I would be happy to stay at the loft if Viv would not mind having me as a guest. Can I use Branden’s sports car to get back and forth to school?” Zara asks slyly.

  Pushing her down on the bed, Garrett laughs and shakes his head. “Nope and now I am going to tell him to hide the keys. You can use my car now that you have your license to get back and forth to school.”

  “Thank you. Not as much fun, but very much appreciated.”

  “I’m going to miss you like–”

  The doorbell chimes.

  Garrett pouts. He is off Zara and at the door of the bedroom in a flash. “Stay in here until I come back. Understood? I am getting rid of whoever it is. I am spending the last hours before I leave alone with you.”

  Smiling, Zara sits silent on the bed.

  “Understood?” Garrett repeats in a much more forceful tone.

  “Yes.”

  With that, he is off to see who is at the door. In all the time that Zara has been living at the house, no one had ever rang the doorbell. In fact, there had never been surprise company. The entrance is hidden from the mai
n road, so if someone did not know what they were looking for, they would not find the driveway.

  Garrett appears in the bedroom door with a perplexed face. He holds out his hand for Zara to join him and leads her to the living room. Standing in the center of the room is her brother, Fredrik.

  Zara looks at Garrett and he gives her hand a quick squeeze. Tears fill her eyes as she walks closer to her brother. He takes the last two steps to meet her, opening his arms. She hugs him so tightly he makes coughing noises.

  “Little One, don’t break him. He’s only just arrived.” Zara releases her grip on her only brother, the brother she thought she would never see again.

  “Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat. You look so thin.”

  “I can eat. Garrett, I am sorry that I came without any notice. I hope that you will allow me to stay for a few days in spite of my poor manners,” Fredrik implores.

  Zara turns to look at Garrett and await his response. “Actually, Fredrik, I will be leaving on a business trip this afternoon.”

  Fredrik looks dejected until Garrett adds, “I’m afraid you will have to stay with Zara at the loft.”

  “Fredrik… how about a shower and change of clothes and then lunch?” Zara’s smile grows as she watches her brother’s face light up. After showing him to the guest room and giving him a few more hugs, Zara goes to find Garrett in his room where he is finishing his packing.

  “Thank you for allowing him to stay.”

  “Zara Faith, I am not your Dom. Yes, I am your protector and I am in love with you. I know how much your brother showing up here means to you. Of course I want him to stay. Actually, the thought of him here while I am away gives me an additional level of comfort.

  “I do have a few questions for him though.” Closing the suitcase and lifting it off the bed, Garrett walks to the door. “The thought of your father coming here looking for him and me being away does not make me very happy. There is still a conversation that needs to happen.”

  Sliding her arms around Garrett’s neck, Zara presses her body against his and hears the suitcase leave his grasp and thump on the ground. His hands snake around her body and she tells him, “I am going to miss you madly. Please be safe and hurry home to me.”

  “You have your credit card and bank card, right?” Zara nods. “If Fredrik needs anything, get it for him. He only has one small bag with him. If you are too busy with school, ask Viv to take him. In fact, I will let Viv know that she should take him, so he won’t feel uncomfortable having his sister do it.”

  “Garrett, you have clients to take care of, you do not have time to worry about me and Fredrik.”

  “Little One, you will always be my focus, my priority and my greatest pleasure. This is what I do, so please let me do it.”

  “Thank you. I love you. You are my focus, my priority and greatest pleasure as well.”

  “I know.” Chuckling, Garrett walks to Zara and lifts her up onto the island. He positions himself between her legs and pulls her as close to him as possible. “We should take Fredrik out to eat instead. No clean-up and I can get you both squared away at the loft before I take off.”

  “If that would make you happy, then it is fine with me. The fact that my brother is here and I will be spending even a couple of days with him makes me so happy. Garrett, I wish your trip could be rescheduled. I would have liked for the two of you to spend time together as well.”

  “Little One, we don’t know the circumstances of this visit. This may be the first of many visits. Your brother will always be welcome in our home. In time, I will get to know him. But I am sorry that I will not be around for this first visit. I need for you to stay in contact with me. If your father shows up, you are to call me immediately.”

  “I understand and I will be careful. I am still going to miss you terribly.”

  As Zara lowers her lips to Garrett’s, she hears the sound of Fredrik walking toward them. Changing what was going to be a very passionate kiss into a quick peck, Zara looks into Garrett’s eyes and smiles. Garrett helps her off the counter.

  “I can come back if you need more time,” Fredrik says softly.

  Garrett turns to him and smiles. “I will always need more time with your beautiful sister. If we require privacy, we will go to the bedroom. Other than that, you will have to get used to me holding her because I cannot keep my hands off her for very long.”

  Garrett leans down for another quick peck on the lips, and then releases her. He makes his way over to Fredrik. “We were just discussing going out for lunch. How does that sound? I would prefer to have you both settled at the loft before I leave town.”

  “Sure. I am good with whatever.” Zara walks around the island and approaches her brother. He has grown taller in the months since the funeral. With wet hair and a change of clothes, Fredrik seems more relaxed but it still bothers Zara how thin he appears.

  “I need a few minutes to throw some things in a bag. Fredrik, there are granola bars. Help yourself.” Zara opens the pantry door and points a shelf loaded with snack foods.

  Within the hour, the three are sitting in a restaurant placing their lunch orders. Garrett jokes with Fredrik telling him to order two entrees if he wants and to the surprise of his sister, he does. Once the waitress is away from the table, Garrett begins to ask the questions Zara has been thinking since laying eyes on her younger brother.

  “Okay, Fredrik. Explain how you got to Michigan and found the house. That information is not easy to come by, so let’s have it.”

  Eyes diverted downward, Fredrik begins to tell the story of how he walked out of their family home after months of neglect. “Once mother died, he just snapped. He didn’t buy groceries and when I asked him for money for food… he would hit me.”

  The soft tone her brother uses intensifies the pain Zara is feeling.

  “Finally, I asked him if I could spend time with some friends.” Tears well up in his eyes as he struggles to get the rest of the story out. “He looked at me and said that he really did not care what I did; that all of his children were a disappointment to him.”

  Garrett had moved his chair closer to Zara’s and wrapped his arm around her early into Fredrik’s story. He hands her his handkerchief to wipe the tears away as they fall. “I am so sorry I suggested a restaurant, Little One. I would have never, had I known,” he whispers to her as she turns into him for comfort.

  “Fredrik, I am so sorry that this has happened to you over the last several months. Had either of us known, we would have insisted on you coming with us after the funeral,” Garrett says evenly.

  “He would have never allowed me to leave with Zara. He sees red when it comes to her. The fact that she showed up to the funeral at all was a slap in the face in his eyes. He trashed your room once we got home that day. On the same day that we buried mother, he destroyed everything in your room.”

  Reaching her hand across the table, Zara takes Fredrik’s hand in hers. “Michigan is my home. The Dawsons are my family. We will do everything we can to make that happen for you too. I am going to do everything I can do to keep you safe and away from him.”

  She releases his hand as the waitress appears with the food.

  “The sad part is, I am not even sure he is aware he is doing it. He is so lost without her. Mother was his everything.”

  Zara’s hand slams on the table, making the plates clank and startling both men. “Then he should have treated her better.”

  Garrett places his hand on top of Zara’s and slowly her tension eases. The three try to salvage the rest of the meal before Garrett’s trip by transitioning into lighter conversation about Michigan and Zara’s school life.

  *****

  “Okay. This sucks.”

  Garrett holds Zara in his arms outside the loft while he waits for the car service to arrive. Zara can tell he feels guilty for having to leave after everything that had just come to light. Holding him tightly, she tries to reassure him she and Fredrik would be fine and that he s
hould concentrate on work.

  “I am sorry he just popped in,” Zara whispers into his chest.

  “Little One, we are in this together for the long haul. I am very glad that he showed up today and not tomorrow when no one would have been at the house to greet him. I am sorry that I cannot move this trip around. I have worked every angle and I am needed on-site.”

  “I love you so much. Thank you for giving me this last year of experiences.”

  “Hey… One week. I will be gone for one week. Then we will work on a solution for getting Fredrik here permanently. You will be in this spot in five days to greet me. Preferably alone so we can have a few moments of make out time. Understood?”

  “Understood.”

  “I love you completely, Zara Faith Evans.”

  “And I love you completely, John Garrett Dawson.”

  Garrett gets in the car and Zara watches it pull off and disappear with the man she loves in the backseat. Wrapping her arms around her body, she takes a few deep breaths to get her mind under control.

  She smiles and looks up at the sky.

  I have not needed any of the techniques in quite a while. Ironic that the first time I hear about Father, I am pulling them out again. I miss you, Mother. I am so sorry that I let this happen to Fredrik. I am stronger now. I will fight for him.

  “You have changed.”

  Spinning around, Zara is staring into the eyes of the only family she has left, the family she will hold onto with everything she has.

  “I saw the change when you came to the funeral, but there has been even more of a change since then.”

  “Time and distance from that house and the Community has allowed me to grow.” Zara looks at the ground and kicks some gravel around with her foot. “It is the small pebbles that create the biggest changes.”

  Looking down and smiling, Fredrik asks, “Do you love him? Garrett?”

  “Yes. I am deeply in love with him.” Zara’s smile could not be suppressed. “Do you want to go back inside?”

  “In a minute. Are you sorry that you did not finish your Circle Ceremony?”