Fallen Into You

by Remmy Duchene

  Abhay nodded and drank from the bottle. He recapped it and set it against the ledge on the wall. Once he had his arms crossed and his back pressed into the wall, he licked his lips. “Mathias, you’re a good-looking man. Of course they’d want to touch or get you into their beds.”

  “You think I’m sexy?”

  “I said good-looking and that’s not the point.”

  Mathias laughed. “You haven’t tried.”

  “It’s not like I didn’t want to. Or still do. Trust me. That’s one of the reasons I left so abruptly the other night. I didn’t want to cross that line. I don’t want to be one of those men.”

  Mathias took a step closer. “What if I want you to be one of those men?”

  “Do you enjoy these men touching you without permission then?”

  “No.” Mathias eased closer. “I’ve never enjoyed it before. But with you—somehow it feels different… Shit, and that sounds like a line.”

  “And you wouldn’t be angry if I did?”

  Mathias smiled. “Well, Mr. Chetan—there is only one way to find out, isn’t there…”

  “Abhay!” A voice called from behind them.

  Mathias wanted to scream. He was that close to feeling Abhay’s lips on his, to taste this perfect specimen of a man’s mouth. Still, he backed up and smiled at Abhay, who was waving. He turned to see who’d been so damn rude as to interrupt. A Japanese male, one Mathias recognized as Ko Takao—the mastermind behind the Hansamu clothing line. Though the Japanese man was as sexy as sin, Mathias still wanted to strangle him.

  “Hey, Ko,” Abhay said.

  “Who’s your friend?” Ko asked.

  Abhay smiled. “Ko Takao, Mathias. Mathias, Ko.”

  The two shook hands but Mathias excused himself. Instead of going back to his workout, he watched the two men talk for a while. With a sigh, he headed into the change room but skipped a shower. He dressed, emptied his locker and exited the building through the back door, toward his car.

  Chapter Five

  Another two days passed and Mathias figured he’d been wrong about Abhay and the moment they’d had at the gym. He couldn’t expect Abhay to want anything to do with him. Each night he took the stage, he would take in the faces of the audience, hoping to find Abhay looking at him, watching as intently as he had that night. Every private dance had him running to the room but the disappointment he felt when Abhay wouldn’t be his client worried him.

  He finished the second night and packed up. He said goodnight to Pat and the others still hanging around the Thornless Rose. When he stepped through the doors into the cold night air, he pulled the neck of his coat together. He’d forgotten his scarf at home and was paying for it as he all but jogged across the lot.

  “Mathias.”

  He stopped. Mathias didn’t have to turn to know who had called him. The accent, the soft gasp at the end of the word Mathias told him Abhay was there and trying hard not to show his excitement. He counted to ten in his head and spun on his heels. “Abhay.”

  “I’m not stalking you, I promise,” Abhay said, stepping closer.

  “Why didn’t you come inside?” Mathias said. “It’s freezing out here.”

  “I didn’t want to see people,” Abhay said. “I only wanted—speaking of cold—can I treat you to a cup of coffee?”

  “Are you asking me out, Abhay?”

  Abhay smiled, his brown eyes twinkling in the moonlight. “And if I was, would you say yes?”

  “Ask me again.”

  “Mathias, would you have a cup of coffee with me?”

  “Yes.”

  Abhay laughed and nodded. “Okay. Follow me to Sliver’s?”

  “Sure.”

  Mathias said nothing else. He managed to keep his smile at bay until he was in the privacy of his own car. He waited until a silver sports car pulled up to his and Abhay pushed his head out of the window. “Ready?” Mathias asked.

  Abhay nodded.

  On the way to Sliver’s, Mathias squirted on some cologne and dragged a brush through his hair. By the time he arrived and parked beside Abhay, he was nervous. Strange, because he’d never felt that way going out with anyone else. And this was just a cup of coffee—not an official date. But he couldn’t stop the pounding of his heart. Forcing himself to pay attention, he inhaled and thanked Abhay, who opened his door for him.

  “What a gentleman,” Mathias teased.

  “On the outside, yes,” Abhay wiggled his brows. “Come on. It’s warmer inside.”

  Now there’s a side of Abhay Chetan I want to explore more.

  Instead of voicing what was in his head, Mathias stepped into the warmth of the popular pub slash diner. It was nice yet low key enough to accept anyone—suit or jeans. They found a table in a corner booth and Mathias peeled himself out of his coat. After hanging it on the hook beside their booth and waiting for Abhay to do the same, Mathias fell into the leather and rubbed his frozen hands together while blowing on his fingers.

  “I’m not a fan of winter,” Mathias admitted. “Well, when I’m outside, that is. If I’m inside, let it snow, baby.”

  Abhay grinned. “The first time I saw snow was just a few years ago.”

  “Oh?”

  The server arrived for their orders and Mathias frowned at the interruption. He ordered a hot chocolate with his cheeseburger and fries after Abhay ordered a poutine with a hot chocolate and finally they were alone once more.

  “So, tell me the reason you hadn’t seen snow until a few years ago.”

  Abhay watched him, his dark eyes intense and unsure. “I was born in India,” Abhay said, his voice soft. “Lived there all my life with my parents and things were great. Then I came out…”

  “Yeah. Say no more.” Mathias sighed. “I’m sorry it was hard for you. I’m still not sure why coming out as gay is such a hassle. I never had to come out to anyone. My father took off the moment he found out my mom was pregnant and my mother—well, she died when I was eight.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. It’s been a while.”

  Their hot chocolate arrived, whipped cream, chocolate dusting and all. Mathias grinned as he stared into it. “The one good memory I had when I was little was saving the whole week. On Friday, I would take the little I’d saved and I’d run all the way from school to this small diner at the corner close to the group home. I would order a cinnamon bun and hot chocolate. It was served just like this.”

  “That’s a nice memory.”

  Mathias met Abhay’s eyes and nodded. “It is. Anyway—” He lifted his mug. “To new friendships.”

  “I can drink to that.”

  After touching his glass to Abhay’s, Mathias took a sip from the mug and moaned. It tasted just like Maggie would make when he was a child.

  “Um…” Abhay said.

  “Yeah?”

  Abhay shifted in his seat. The twitch of his lips curled into a smile that was so damn handsome, Mathias grew hard. His cock forced against the material of his pants.

  “You, um…” Abhay stopped speaking and leaned forward. He braced his large palms to the table and drew closer and closer.

  Mathias’ heart betrayed him. It raced inside his chest as if it wanted to escape. There was a strange excitement that pulsed through him, wanting what was coming, hoping Abhay wished to kiss him yet knowing if that happened he would implode.

  Then their mouths collided. Mathias didn’t hesitate. He parted his lips, giving Abhay access. Their tongues swirled about each other—twisting and tasting. Mathias moaned and grabbed a fist full of the front of Abhay’s shirt. He couldn’t allow this connection to be over too fast. He wanted to be wrapped around Abhay, to be consumed by him.

  A throat cleared near them and Mathias released Abhay and fell back into the seat. Though his head spun, and his cock throbbed, Mathias found a smile and offered it to the waitress even though all he wanted to do was strangle her.

  With their food settled before them and alone again, Mathias shove
d a fry into his mouth.

  “You had some whipped cream on your lips,” Abhay said. He even had the nerve to look bashful about it.

  “So you kissed me?”

  “Do you want me to apologize?”

  “No,” Mathias said, picking up another French fry. “Can I be honest?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since that first night you sat in front of the stage,” Mathias admitted. “But I figured one of the guys you were with was your man.”

  “No. They’re all either married or engaged to be. I’m the only one left in my group of friends who are still single—well, aside from Dana.”

  “You’re a good-looking man, Abhay. And from the car you drive I’d say you have a job and you’re not homeless…so why are you still single?”

  “Fear.”

  “From your coming out?”

  Abhay chewed but nodded. He chuckled. “This is insane. I barely know you yet I’m telling you all my secrets.”

  “What can I say—I have the face of a siren.”

  Abhay laughed out loud. As the sound of his mirth floated around him, Mathias realized he could get used to hearing it. He kept that to himself.

  “I just feel comfortable around you.”

  “Look,” Mathias said. “Is this going to be one of those things where you play hide the stripper whenever your friends are around?”

  “Hide the stripper? I don’t understand.”

  “Men like you don’t want to date men like me.” Mathias wiped his mouth with a napkin and dropped it beside his plate. “You want lawyers and doctors and bankers—”

  Abhay said nothing.

  “Fine. We’re having a meal and hanging out,” Mathias said. “That’s all this is and I’m cool with that. But then you kissed me and—right. I had something on my face.”

  “Mathias. Breathe.”

  “I am breathing. Let’s talk about something else. Please? Or I’m going to say something I’ll regret. So, what do you do for a living?”

  “Computers, software mostly.”

  “In other words, you’re a nerd.”

  Abhay chuckled. “Sure. I love what I do though.”

  “I used to love what I do. Now it’s just a way of paying the bills.” He took another sip from his hot chocolate. “I can’t see myself wearing a suit and tie, sitting in an office dealing with people. I’m not remotely good at anything.”

  “That can’t be true.” Abhay pushed the last bit of cheese from his poutine into his mouth and chewed in contemplation. “There has to be something you’re good at. I mean, sure, you’re very good at what you do now. But what are you going to do when you’re older?”

  “Hopefully, I’ll have some money saved up to not have to worry about it.”

  Abhay nodded. “Listen, I’m the last person to pass judgment on what you do for a living. You’re not ripping anyone off or serving kids with drugs so that’s fine with me.”

  “You say that now. None of the men I’ve been attracted to before wanted the stripper for real—I mean, they wanted to sleep with me and get private dances at home or dress me up to show off to their friends, but nothing more.”

  “Well, I’m not going to patronize you and tell you I don’t want to sleep with you.” Abhay lifted his mug toward his lips. “But I understand things don’t work like that and I’m under no delusions that you’d want to sleep with some guy from the Thornless Rose.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “How many men—clients from the Thornless Rose have you slept with?”

  “Zero. Aside from the fact it’s against house rules.” Mathias sighed. “When I’m on that stage or private dancing, I don’t really look at the men. I imagine I’m with my man and I’m dancing for him.”

  “You’re telling me you want to do that at home too?”

  Mathias blushed, his cheeks burned. “Don’t you think it’s sexy? Think about it this way—you come home after a long day at work. Your man takes your bag, sits you down on the sofa and hands you a drink. Then he turns on the music and dances for you right before he slips to his knees…”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “What would he be doing on his knees?”

  Mathias smiled. “Use your imagination.”

  “I was trying not to let my mind fall into the gutter.”

  Mathias laughed. “Let it fall, Abhay.”

  “You’re right—that is a sexy thought.”

  “I tell you what,” Mathias said. “What are you doing on Friday night?”

  “This Friday?” Abhay asked. “The same thing I do every weekend—well, not every weekend. Sometimes I spend it with friends but this weekend I have nothing planned but a good book, in front of the fire.”

  “Sounds boring.”

  “Boring—not a reader, right?”

  “I love reading,” Mathias said. “I actually have a small library in my bedroom. But a man like you deserves someone with you in front of that fire anyway. Let me cook you dinner on Friday—my place.”

  “Um—Mathias.”

  “I promise you I don’t live in a slum and I do know how to cook.”

  “I don’t know if that’s…”

  “Just say yes, Abhay, and see what happens,” Mathias implored him. “I know you’re nervous. Look, if you want, you can bring a friend.”

  “I thought this was a date.”

  “I would like it to be.” Mathias was shocked at how true that sounded—how true it felt. “But I mentioned it and the fear I saw in your eyes damned near knocked me out. Are you scared of me or of what could happen between us?”

  “Neither.”

  “Then what?”

  “I’ll come to dinner—one thing, I don’t eat beef.”

  Mathias smiled. “I figured as much. Give me your phone.”

  Though Abhay looked hesitant, he handed over the cell and Mathias added his phone number and address. Once he was sure the information was correct, he saved it and handed the phone back. “Friday at eight—dinner at my place for us, or you, me and your friend. Either way, I’d like to see you.”

  Abhay smiled and dropped his phone into his pocket. For that moment, however, Mathias changed the subject. He figured he’d beaten that horse enough for one night. Though he was worried he might have pushed Abhay a little hard, there was no way Abhay could drop a kiss like that on him and not want anything else. Mathias wanted this man—there was no denying it and he was going to do what he could to get into Abhay’s bed. Hopefully after that, he could make his way into Abhay’s heart.

  Chapter Six

  With a last bit of coding done, Abhay shut down the computer and reached for his laptop. If he hurried, he could get back to his place, shower and change before heading to drinks with Dana. The others were all busy—Ko and Jackson were on their way to Japan for the opening of one of Ko’s stores and Abhay had lost track of where the others were. Priya was busy studying so he would have to see her the next day before he went to dinner at Mathias’.

  After slinging on his jacket, he hurried from the building, bag strapped over his shoulder and cell in hand. He climbed into the front seat of his car, started the ignition and sat back to allow the space to warm. While he did that, he looked at his cell’s face again, for what had to be the millionth time, with the typed message he was tempted to send to Mathias.

  Finally, he held his breath and sent.

  I wasn’t sure if I should send you this. But I’m going to put myself out there—I’ve been thinking of you.

  When the phone chirped that the message had been sent Abhay let it fall to his lap, peeled his scarf from around his neck and draped it over the back of the passenger seat. His heart hammered as he waited for Mathias to reply—or not. The invite to dinner could have just been something to pass the time—to give them something to talk about. Then again, they’d kissed.

  Abhay was hard all over again thinking about it.

  The phone chimed.

&
nbsp; Aww sweet talker. I bet you say that to all the guys.

  Mathias had replied with a smiley face.

  All the guys? You’re assuming way too much, my friend.

  I don’t think so—are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?

  Abhay paused to think about it. He wondered what Dana would say if he asked her what he should do. He figured he’d save himself the lecture since he already knew.

  Of course. Want me to bring anything?

  Condoms.

  Abhay choked. He hadn’t expected that answer. He’d thought Mathias would have said wine or dessert. How could a man be so open about his sexuality? Sure, he had been hanging around Thaddeus and Ravinder then Jackson and Ko for a while. They held hands in public, kissed in public, touched each other—yet was still self-conscious to let himself be sexual, be attracted.

  Abhay, I’m joking—partially. I know how you feel about—intimacy.

  Abhay sighed.

  Sorry. I’m in the car and about to drive. I’ll message you again once I get home—I have drinks with a friend so it might be late.

  I’ll be here.

  Abhay placed the phone in his lap and was about to shift the car into drive when he thought of something and opened Mathias’ messages again.

  Only partially, huh??

  Exactly. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  And what if I don’t want you partially?

  Then we’ll just have to work something out.

  Abhay laughed, did put away his phone and drove to where he would be meeting Dana. They hugged then hurried inside where it was warm. The indoor fair happened every year and though Abhay had been in Bathsheba a while, he’d never once had time to visit.

  “So, what’s up with you?” Dana asked as she looped her arm through the crook of his elbow and strolled with him. “You’ve been strangely silent.”

  “Remember that guy? The one I told you about.”