Love Me Before Dawn

by Lindsay McKenna

  “What are my options?”

  “It’s supposed to be ideal weather up in the desert. How about a picnic?”

  “Isn’t it a bit chilly up there? I hear the wind blows all the time.”

  Shep nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right.” He cocked his head, drinking in the sight of her upturned face. His body tightened with desire and he had to stop himself from taking her back into his arms and simply crushing her against him. “How about a trip to the beach Sunday, then?”

  “Okay,” she agreed softly.

  Tess glanced up at him. His face was bathed in moonlight, his features softened and relaxed. She felt a mixture of emotions within her. She had to leave the past behind. Shep was right about that. She closed her eyes, suddenly very tired. Tomorrow would be a new day. A new beginning.

  *

  Tess groaned, the loud ringing of the telephone waking her from the badly needed sleep. She groped for the phone, squinting to look at the clock. It was seven thirty Sunday morning.

  “Hello?” she mumbled, sitting up.

  “Tess, this is Fred. I’m afraid we need your help over at the office right away.”

  She rubbed her face tiredly. “What now?”

  “The leading newspapers back east just broke a story this morning about the B-1 damaging the environment. We’ve got environmental impact groups screaming bloody murder. The phones have been ringing off the hooks since six A.M. and the press is hounding the hell out of me. Dan is out of town and I need somebody from engineering to help me with this. Can you get down here right away?”

  Fred sounded harried and concerned. Tess blinked, trying to clear the cobwebs from her groggy mind. Shep would be coming down at ten A.M. to pick her up. Did she have a phone number where she could reach him? Even though sunshine filtered through the curtained windows on her right, her whole mood changed into a gray despair. She gripped the receiver. “I’ll be right down, Fred.”

  “Thank God, Hurry. I’m not sure I can keep the press at bay with my round table answers.”

  She took a quick shower and grabbed an apricot-colored dress. Her mind bounced between Shep and the newspapers’ allegations about the B-1 being detrimental to the environment. She had to get hold of Shep! She also wondered if it was Senator Stockwell who had dropped this latest bit of information. Disconnected thoughts whirled through her mind as she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

  *

  Fred gave her a look of profound relief when she stepped through the office doors. His face was tight, and she could see small dots of perspiration on his upper lip and furrowed brow.

  “Fred, do you have the phone numbers of the test pilots on this program?” she asked immediately, before he could say anything.

  “Why—uh, no. Why?”

  “I’ve got to get hold of Major Ramsey.”

  Fred walked to another desk as one of the four phones began ringing. “Ellie, my secretary should have the number. Here, you take a look for it while I get that phone.”

  After an exhaustive search through Ellie’s desk, Tess finally found the phone numbers of the Air Force test pilots. Her pulse leaped as she rang Shep’s home in Lancaster. Her blue eyes darkened with worry when no one answered after six rings. Reluctantly, she replaced the receiver, her stomach knotting with apprehension.

  As soon as she had hung up, the phone rang again and from then on it was five hours of nonstop calls. Near one o’clock Tess wearily looked over at Fred. Earlier, between calls, they had formulated a standard statement. The phone rang again and Tess felt the urge to ignore it. Her head was aching and she didn’t think she could stand to speak to one more person.

  “Rockwell Public Relations.”

  “Yes, this is Greg Saint from Senator Browning’s office calling.”

  Tess rolled her eyes upward. “Yes, Greg. Can we help you?”

  “We’ve got a real hornet’s nest building over the environmental impact of the B-1. You and I know the plane isn’t going to emit any more pollutants than the B-52, but how are we going to convince the press? Stockwell threw the environmental lobbyists a bone on Saturday and the furor today is very real. Senator Browning is coming back from Camp David later on this afternoon to try and stop this panic,” Greg continued.

  “What does Stockwell want?” Tess growled.

  “Nothing less than to stop the funding on the B-1 and get it scratched from the budget,” Greg answered just as seriously. “Look, are you people going to be there to man the phones the rest of the day?”

  Tess gave Fred a glance. “Yes,” she said without enthusiasm, “we’ll be here until Senator Browning feels we’ve stopped the leak in the dike.”

  Greg laughed. “Stockwell’s just up to his old tricks. He’s a past master of manipulating the press for public opinion.”

  “Somehow, I wish we could anticipate his moves so that we could respond and neutralize his claims. As it is, we’re always playing catch up, Greg. It makes Rockwell look bad all the way around. We’re constantly on the defensive. I believe Fred is in the process of preparing a brochure on these questionable areas in order to deal with such wild, unsubstantiated claims by the other camp.”

  “That’s great, Tess. Look, I’ll be getting back to you in a while.”

  Tess hung up the phone, tiredly meeting Fred’s bloodshot stare. He sat down in a chair next to her desk. “We are preparing several pamphlets to answer our critics, Tess.”

  “Good. When Greg calls back, maybe you two can set up some sort of publicity strategy to start getting that information out so that we don’t look like sitting ducks.”

  He grinned tiredly. “I owe you a big thanks. You didn’t have to come in and do PR for me today.” He studied her for a long moment before saying, “You know, I’ve heard the other execs gripe about your performance since Cy died.” He gave her an enigmatic smile. “And I think they’re definitely wrong about you.” He rose. “I’m going to order us some lunch. While I go out and get it, will you stay here and hold down the fort?”

  Tess nodded her head. When Fred had left the room, she again consulted the listing of phone numbers of the Air Force test pilots. Between phone calls she had tried Shep’s number over and over—to no avail. Chewing on her lower lip, she picked up the phone and dialed a different listing.

  “Major Cunningham,” a voice answered.

  Tess closed her eyes. “Tom? This is Tess Hamilton. I’m trying to locate Shep. Is he there?”

  “Why…no. I thought you two had a date for the beach today?”

  She swallowed hard. “We did. I mean, we were supposed to.” She rapidly explained the situation to the major. “I need to find him, Tom. I—I’m afraid he’ll think I backed out. That I—”

  “I’ll do what I can, Tess,” Tom reassured her. “Let me make a few calls to the base and see if I can locate him. If I do, I’ll have Shep give you a call.”

  Shakily, she brushed a tendril away from her temple. “Please,” she said softly. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here at the office.” There was regret in her voice. What must Shep be thinking? That thought alone had haunted her all day. Did he think she had weakened and run away? Again? If he thought she had run away, how must he feel toward her? Suddenly, she felt real fear. Fear more awesome and terrifying than she had ever experienced. She wanted the chance to know him. And now, because of Stockwell’s latest ploy, her personal life had just been turned into a full-scale disaster.

  “Why don’t I take your work number?” Tom suggested in his easy southern drawl. “I know Shep has your home phone.”

  “Tom—” she began, and then hesitated. “I—we had a terrible fight last night and I’m afraid he’ll think the worst of me because of this no-show.”

  There was silence at the other end and it scared her. Finally, the major spoke, his voice subdued. “Shep cares a hell of a lot for you, Tess. And I’m not saying you’ve been wrong in your actions. He’s been waiting for you to break free of the past.” He gave a small laugh. “Listen,
test pilots have this romantic image to combat. We’re not all womanizers or out for one-night stands.”

  “I never thought that!”

  “Well, he thinks you do. Shep feels his initial meeting with you and then the suddenness of his divorce from Allyson put him in a bad light. It appears that he’s willing to drop one woman for another.”

  “But—”

  “Hear me out. Shep’s marriage to Allyson was doomed before it ever got started. He hung in there and tried to make it work. But Aly was always a social butterfly looking to move up one more rung on the ladder of success. She used Shep as a step up that ladder. When it became evident Aly didn’t really love him, he tried to renew the relationship with her. After my wife, Maria, died, something inside Shep snapped. I don’t know what happened, I can’t explain it. He saw the kind of marriage Maria and I shared. Shep helped me through the hell of losing her. I think he saw what real love was for the first time in his life by experiencing the devastating pain involved in its loss. Shep believes in marriage.” Tom hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “But it takes two to have a marriage, and when one party quits, Tess, something dies in the other person. Shep reacted from the heart when he kissed you. Aly had killed the real meaning of their marriage years before.”

  Tears gathered in her eyes, and she swallowed against a forming lump. “God, Tom, I didn’t know what was happening either,” she said softly, covering her eyes with her hand. “Why didn’t Shep tell me this before?”

  “How could he? Your husband’s death was due to the strain of hard work. And you were on a guilt trip that was started by that subcontractor. You swallowed it hook, line, and sinker. Shep had no choice but to sit back and wait.”

  She sniffed. “What can I do? Please, Tom, you’re Shep’s best friend. What if he thinks I don’t care about him anymore?”

  “Do you really care for him?”

  The words sliced through her and she inhaled sharply. “Of course I do! How could you ever doubt—”

  “Because, Tess, your actions haven’t proven what I’m hearing you say,” he returned.

  He was right. Facts were facts. A new ache began in her heart as she raced to think of the options left open to her. To Shep. “You’re right,” she murmured. “What do you think would convince Shep that I am serious about our relationship?”

  “You really want to know?”

  “Yes.”

  “Drive up here and meet him head-on. Don’t pussyfoot around with a phone call. I haven’t seen him at all today and I’ve been over to the Officers’ Club, at the office, and the base exchange earlier. I’m sure I’d have run into him. Or at least seen his car.”

  “Well, if he isn’t on base or at home, where is he?”

  Tom snorted softly. “You tell me, Tess. For all I know, he could be driving around doing a lot of thinking. Maybe he went to the beach to walk around. I just don’t know.”

  Tess clenched her fist on the desk. “What does a man do when he’s hurt badly, Tom?”

  The major gave a low laugh. “You start out by taking a good stiff drink. Maybe getting slightly drunk to dull the pain. And when your head clears, you try to sort out what’s left of your life. Look, I don’t want you to worry. That’s not my aim in telling you this. Shep’s probably out driving around somewhere wondering why you weren’t at home this morning.”

  Tess mentally cursed Rockwell and her responsibility to the company. Which was more important? Her personal happiness or her career? “As soon as I can get someone to take my place here this afternoon, Tom, I’ll drive up to Lancaster.”

  “Okay, but it’s almost two o’clock and it’s a two-hour drive from L.A.”

  “That’s a moot point, isn’t it?” she commented, her voice hushed.

  “That’s the spirit. You got a paper and pencil?”

  Tess reached for the articles. “Yes.”

  “Here’s Shep’s address. We only live a couple of houses apart here in Lancaster. I’ll give you mine, too, just in case he hasn’t shown up by the time you arrive, you can stay over here.”

  She nodded, busily scribbling down the information. “I’ll be there just as soon as I can, Tom. I owe you one for your help on this.”

  “You can make it up to me by getting together with Shep. You two haven’t really had a chance yet to see if you both have what it takes to go the distance. See you in a few hours, Tess.”

  Tess hung up, worry written on her features. Fred returned moments later with two Styrofoam food containers. He grinned. “Feel like Chinese food this fine Sunday afternoon?”

  She managed a smile. “Sure. Why not?”

  *

  Tess wearily looked at her wristwatch—it was just after eight P.M. Between bites of food, the phones had begun to ring in earnest once again. Fred had tried to reach a few other of their coworkers, but he had had no luck. Besides, only one other person could deal with this crisis: Dan. On four different occasions, she had tried to reach Shep. He had not answered the phone.

  Sighing, Tess slid into her small Toyota and closed the door. Fastening her seat belt, she turned the key. The Toyota purred to life, Tess began the drive up to Lancaster.

  Chapter 10

  THE ROAD WAS DARK AND LONELY. THE WINDS COMING off the Mojave Desert whipped through the mountains with a vengeance, and it took all her concentration to keep the silver Toyota on the road. The lights of Lancaster were bright and clean against the darkness. She drove eight more miles through the Antelope Valley region before coming to the neatly laid out town. Her unfamiliarity with Lancaster cost her nearly a half an hour before she found Shep’s street. The houses, stucco and single story, all looked alike.

  Close to exhaustion, Tess almost gave way to tears when she saw there were no lights on at Shep’s home. A sense of relief washed over Tess as she saw the lights burning brightly at Tom’s residence. Pulling into his driveway, she shut off the car engine and sat there a moment, trying to pull herself together. Wearily, she climbed out of the car, bringing her purse and coat along.

  Tom answered her knock almost immediately. She could see the concern on his face. “Come on in, Tess,” he invited, opening the door. “I was starting to get worried about you.”

  Anxiously, she searched his features. “Have you found him?” she asked, her voice breathless.

  “No. Come on in. Let me get you some coffee.”

  “Thank you.”

  He took her coat and hung it up. “I’ve looked everywhere. Made a few more phone calls. No one’s seen him, Tess.” Tom gave her a reassuring smile. “He’ll be back. He’s scheduled for an eight o’clock flight tomorrow morning, so he has to show up pretty soon. He’s real good about getting rest before a flight.”

  “Even in circumstances like this?” she asked, following him to the kitchen, where he poured them each a cup of coffee. There was a comfortable warmth to Tom’s home. Although he was a bachelor, the place had a lived-in look that Tess appreciated.

  “Well, that’s a horse of a different color,” he agreed, leading her into the living room.

  Tess sat down in an overstuffed chair and took a sip of coffee. As she balanced the mug in her hands, she looked across the living room at Tom. “I’m going to wait for him,” she said. “Is there any way I can stay over at his house?”

  He gave her a slight grin. “What if he brings home another woman?”

  Tess stared at him, incredulous. “It doesn’t matter,” she murmured firmly.

  “I doubt if it would happen, Tess. But I thought I’d better make you see the whole picture.”

  Her fingers tightened around the cup. “Does he have someone else?”

  “No, but a man can do dumb things when he’s feeling hurt. Look, I have a key to his house. How about if I walk you down the block and get you settled in? He’s bound to come back pretty soon.”

  “I’d appreciate it.”

  Tom made her comfortable at Shep’s home and then left. She noticed a distinct difference between the interi
or of the two houses. There was an obvious richness to the furniture here. She recognized the sophistication of Allyson’s touch everywhere. The living room was tastefully decorated with a taupe carpet, modern white furniture, and a glass coffee table on brass legs. The end tables were crafted of dark mahogany, matching the huge hutch against one wall. Fig trees were strategically placed in two corners, lending a sense of vitality to the careful creation. She hovered at the entrance. Did Shep spend much time here? It looked as if no one really lived in this portion of the house. For some reason she felt uncomfortable, as if she were trespassing.

  Eventually she sat on the edge of one of the two couches, her back straight, her hands folded tightly in her lap. The room looked as though it came out of Town and Country magazine, but it left her cold. It was not the sort of room that invited one to kick off one’s shoes and bury one’s toes in the lush carpet. Did Shep enjoy living in this plastic world that Allyson had created? Her fingers were growing damp from nervousness. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was eleven P.M. Tiredness was encroaching on her rapidly, and Tess felt as if her eyelids were weighted. She should try to stay awake. But the huge white pillow beckoned to her and against her better judgment, Tess slipped off her shoes and stretched out on the couch. The folds of her dress fell about her slender form, emphasizing the shape of her hips and long thighs. She tucked her legs close to her body, closing her eyes, utter fatigue robbing her of everything except the desperate need for sleep.

  *

  Shep pulled his car into the narrow driveway, shutting off the engine. He frowned, immediately noticing that lights were burning in the kitchen. Had Tom come over? He gathered up his jacket and the unused picnic basket that sat in the other bucket seat. It was a typical Mojave night, the winds cutting and chill. Somewhere in the distance a coyote yapped mournfully. At midnight Antelope Valley slept like a huge, undisturbed ghost in the high plain region of the desert. Ordinarily the sights, sounds, and smells would register sharply on his senses. But tonight he was aware of only the heavy feeling in the region of his heart. He hoisted the basket out of the car and shut the door.