Love Me Before Dawn

by Lindsay McKenna

  His mouth thinned and he quietly approached her. In one gentle motion, he turned her around. Her lashes were wet with tears. He felt his heart wrench deep in his chest. He cradled her chin in his hand. “I never wanted a casual affair, Tess,” he said quietly. “Is that what you thought? That all I wanted was an affair with you?”

  She nodded miserably, longing to fall into his arms. The urge to tell him of her love was overwhelming. She took a deep, unsteady breath, searching his tender expression. “What do you want from me?”

  He whispered her name and pulled her against him. She released a small sob, burying her head against his shoulder. His arms were strong and loving as they embraced her. Her teat wet the material of his shirt, making a darkened patch. The solid warmth of his chest, the steady beat of his heart began to soothe away some of her unnamed fears.

  “Honey,” he murmured huskily, “I love you. I think I’ve loved you from the first time I met you, though I didn’t know how much until I spent that day driving around by myself. What I feel for you goes much deeper than I’ll ever be able to tell you.” He leaned over, caressing her parted lips. “I was so damn stupid. Why didn’t I tell you this before? I thought you knew….”

  Tess blinked, her heart thundering wildly in her breast. “I—I didn’t know,” she began lamely.

  She smiled, gripping her tightly to him, loving the feel of her pliant, supple body against him. “God, woman, I’ve loved you forever. I need you, Tess.”

  She responded instinctively, reaching upward, her lips meeting his strong mouth. A low groan vibrated within his body as he pressed hungrily against her searching, tremulous lips. Fire ignited deep within her body as she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing closer. In one fluid motion Shep lifted her off the floor. Tess rested languidly against him, content with his nearness as he carried her to the bedroom. “This time,” she heard him say, his voice vibrating with desire, “I’m going to show you just how much I do love you, Tess. This time we’ve got no deadlines to make. No duty to answer.”

  Her heart was filled with intense longing for him as Shep gently laid her upon the bed. The sunlight streamed through the pale green drapes, giving the room a soft pastel color. It was as if they were out in the Sierras once again, beneath the huge flowing branches of the sequoias. He sat down beside her, purposefully unbuttoning the front of her plum-colored dress. Each touch of his fingers ignited new fires of hunger. Somewhere in her mind she recalled the fervor of their first loving. This time, it would be slower…even more exciting. The folds of the dress fell away from her body as he lingered above her, his gaze sweeping across her with tenderness. She relished the passion she saw in the depths of his eyes. Tess’s lips parted as he lightly ran his fingers down the lace and silk camisole, brushing the curves of one breast. A small, sharp gasp broke from her lips as he teased the hardening nipple that thrust provocatively upward against the silken fabric.

  The sunlight cast soft shadows on the planes and curves of her body as Shep slowly removed each piece of clothing. Finally she lay beneath his gaze, completely naked, but not embarrassed by the adoration that burned in his eyes. As Shep leaned over, she reached upward, sliding her arms around his neck, drawing him down upon her. A throbbing hunger had her returning his fiery kiss with equal fervor.

  Her lashes moved upward, revealing azure eyes golden with unspoken love. Moving her fingertips beneath the material of his shirt, she reveled in the expanse of wiry hair across his chest. To her delight he was just as sensitive to her touch as she was to his. Within minutes he was naked, pulling her against his straining, hardened body. A small gasp of pleasure broke from her lips as he brought her hips against him, making her aware of his arousal. Shep placed small kisses on her eyes, nose, and finally her mouth. Drunk with desire, driven by the passion he had released with his masterful touch, she arched upward, begging him to complete the union.

  Shep slid his fingers through the thick cascade of her silken hair, wrapping it around his fist, pulling her head back against his other arm. Her breathing was fast and shallow, her body trembling with need of him. Resting above her momentarily, he caressed her cheek, looking deeply into her widened eyes. “Know that I love you,” he whispered huskily. “More than life. You are my life….” He leaned down, pressing his mouth against her pliant, waiting lips. As he lifted his head, he saw tears on either side of her face. His heart contracted and he felt an overwhelming desire to protect her.

  She reached up, her fingertips touching his strong jaw. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice tender with passion. He groaned, closing his eyes tightly, bringing her against him, burying his head in the silken tresses of her hair. Moments melted into one another like lava pouring from a volcano of molten desire. She felt his hand on her thigh, stroking the tender flesh. The weight of his knee forcing her thighs apart brought new urgency to her aching, ready body. Closing her eyes, she moved upward to meet him. A cry of pleasure broke from her lips and she clung to him. Slowly, slowly he brought her into rhythm with himself—a rhythm so primeval, so delicious that she climbed to heights of euphoria never before experienced. An explosion rocked her inwardly, bringing such incredible pleasure that she could only utter a small cry of joy.

  Slowly Tess opened her eyes. She was aware of her cheek resting against the damp hair of his chest, of the slow pounding of his heart beneath her ear. Her hair lay like a silken coverlet on his chest, her arm limp across his flat, hard stomach. She felt drugged with euphoria. The slant of the sun’s rays seemed different. Had she slept? Or had time rushed by unnoticed during that incredible sensation of climax with Shep? Tess didn’t know; she was content to languish within the protection of his arms, her five senses more alive than ever before. She tasted the salt of his body against her lips, breathed in the male scent of him, felt the tickling sensation of his hair beneath her cheek and the rise and fall of his chest. Some instinct told her he was sleeping, and she closed her eyes, needing nothing more but the closeness he offered.

  Chapter 15

  THE SECOND TIME SHE AWOKE, TESS WAS AWARE OF Shep’s hand tracing the outline of her cheek and jaw. Her eyes lifted, meeting his tender gray gaze. He gave her a small smile, one corner of his mouth lifting upward. The sunlight no longer filtered through the room, meaning it was late in the afternoon. The melodic call of a bird in a nearby tree mingled with the far-off sound of a jet taking off in the distance. Tess stirred languidly, pressing herself against Shep, burying her head against his shoulder.

  “I love you, Irish princess,” he whispered, placing a small kiss on her forehead.

  “It sounds so good to hear that,” she admitted softly, reaching out and stroking his broad, well-muscled shoulder.

  “God, I should have told you that a long time ago,” he murmured, a frown beginning to form on his brow. He sat up, resting his back against the headboard. He pulled Tess into his arms so that she rested against his body. “But I was afraid of moving too fast.” He looked down at her, searching her face. “I was walking a tightrope with you, Tess. If I told you too soon, before you got over your guilt about Cy’s death, it might have destroyed everything.” He shook his head. “As it was, I damn near told you too late. You thought all I wanted was an affair.”

  She nodded mutely Her dark auburn hair spilled across her shoulder and down below her breast. His nearness was intoxicating. “It wasn’t your fault, Shep,” she murmured, her voice sultry with the passion they had shared. “And you were right: If you had told me that three months ago, I probably would have retreated from you.”

  He smiled, placing a kiss on her cheek and holding her tightly within his arms. “We won’t let anything come between us again, will we, honey?”

  At his words a new fear jolted through her. The emergency aboard the T-38 smashed into her mind, and Tess wrestled with the dread. There was already some thing between them. Hesitantly Tess lifted her lashes, staring up into his gray eyes. She could lose him at any time.

  Logic clashed with emotion.
She had worked almost two years on the blueprints of the B-1. She had seen positive test results indicating it would fly without a doubt. But it didn’t matter. That was all computer analysis, tests in wind tunnels with wooden models. None of it meant anything to her aching heart. Tess tried to withdraw from the fear that was rapidly destroying her happiness. She forced herself to remember she was in Shep’s arms now. Concentrating on his arms about her, she wearily rested her head on his shoulder, a small sigh escaping from her lips.

  Shep sensed her quandary. “Honey, what is it?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she murmured in a small voice.

  A wry smile pulled at his mouth. “You know, part of loving someone is telling them all your worries and fears,” he reminded her gently. “I saw worry in your eyes, Tess. Want to discuss it?”

  “You’ll think I’m crazy,” she said defensively.

  He released a sigh. “How do you know? You’re making that judgment before I even get a chance to defend myself.”

  He was right, she decided. “It will sound so inane and unbelievable that—”

  Shep laughed softly. “My Irish princess, what am I going to do with you?” He moved her out of his arms and sat up. “Come on, let’s take a shower and then we’ll talk. Okay?”

  Her eyes widened. “A shower?”

  He grinned boyishly, standing and holding out his hand to her. “Sure.”

  “Together?”

  Amusement danced in his gray eyes. “Is there any other way?” he drawled, gripping her hand.

  A spiraling sense of happiness chased the dread away for the moment as Tess leaned against his warm, hard body. “Well—” she got out, “I’ve never taken a shower with anyone before.”

  Shep maintained an even expression for her sake as he slowly led her toward the bathroom. “I see. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

  The steam rose and billowed within the roomy shower, curling the tendrils of hair at her temples. Tess stood beneath the warm water, giving herself up to Shep’s knowing hands. He slid the soap over her body, his touch tantalizing. She had never realized how arousing a shower could be. He brought her against him, his strong fingers gliding down the length of her curved back.

  “You have a beautiful back,” he whispered, nuzzling her ear with delicious slowness. He drew his hands upward over her long torso feeling each of her ribs, caressing her taut breasts. She gasped softly, pressing herself more demandingly to him.

  A smile curved his lips. More than ever Shep loved her guileless reactions. At first, she had been nervous. Even if she hadn’t told him, he would have known this was a new experience for her. He wondered what kind of marriage Cy Hamilton had had with Tess. Shep made himself a promise: He would show Tess all the different ways a man could express love for a woman. He would take her up to the Sierras and show her how beautiful lovemaking could be out in the wild. He would swim in a cool mountain lake with her. He would…

  He uttered a low growl, allowing his hands to slide over her firm, responsive flesh. He felt the hardening peaks of her nipples pressing insistently against his chest and he smiled to himself. Lifting her chin, Shep moved his mouth against her lips, parting them gently. Her mouth was honey. She was a beautiful rose unfolding beneath his care. Wrapping his arms about her, he embraced her tightly, deepening the kiss.

  Fire uncoiled from the glowing embers within her body as the touch of his mouth teased her throbbing lips. The warm water streamed across her body in cascading rivulets, creating new, arousing sensations. A low gasp escaped from her as his hand slid suggestively down her body, stroking her inner thigh. Clouds of steam billowed upward. The strength of his mouth against her flesh drove her mad with desire for him once again. A low moan of need rose in her throat as his mouth seared her hungry lips. She felt Shep’s arms tighten around her body, lifting her up against him. Her fingers sank deeply into his shoulders, a moan of pleasure escaping from her lips as she took him inside her. Molten fire spread through her body, building in intensity. Moist heat surrounded and enveloped them as a hot fire burned brightly, achingly within her. A shudder coursed through her and she rested wearily against Shep, fulfilled once again.

  Tess stood within Shep’s embrace as he gently towel-dried her, occasionally leaning down to kiss her lips in silent adoration. Finally, he helped her into his robe, tying the sash about her slender waist. There was a smile in his eyes as he caressed her upturned face. The full impact of his love was now evident in his every movement. Tess waited until he put on his jeans and zipped them up before throwing her arms around his shoulders. “I love you,” she whispered, a quiver in her voice. “I never knew how much until—”

  “Sshhh,” he whispered against her lips. “I see it in your eyes, honey. Come on, I’m starved. How about you?” A crooked smile played across his strong, virile mouth as he studied her.

  Tess returned the smile, keeping her arm around his naked torso. Shep looked even more masculine in only a pair of jeans, his broad chest covered with the dark mat of hair. “Me too,” she agreed.

  Tess reclined on the carpeted living room floor, picking idly at a variety of fruit on a plate which sat on the coffee table. Shep leaned back, moving his arm behind Tess’s shoulders and drawing her near. The quietness that now invaded the house was lulling, healing. He had cut up fresh chunks of pineapple, bananas, dates, and papaya for them. Tess had rummaged around in the refrigerator and found some raspberry yogurt to make a dip for the fruit. Now they sat next to one another, sharing the sweet fruit and tart yogurt.

  She remained within his arms, content to feel the heat of his body next to her own. Was it possible to tell Shep she had never shared so much with anyone? Simple acts such as a shower together? Or feeding one another slices of juicy fruit in the gathering dusk of the evening? For the first time Tess realized that her marriage to Cy had been lacking in many areas. It wasn’t Cy’s fault or her own. It was a difference not only in philosophy and life-style, but in the men who loved her. She glanced at Shep’s relaxed face. He looked years younger, the lines erased from around his mouth and brow. There was a glimmer of joy deep within his gray eyes. Tess was seeing him completely at ease for the first time and it pleased her immensely.

  “You’ve given me so many firsts,” she said.

  He roused himself, barely opening one eye. “Test pilots are always breaking new ground. Doing new things,” he drawled.

  Tess laughed, giving him a playful jab in the ribs. “That has nothing to do with being a test pilot! You really use your career to explain all your deeds or misdeeds, don’t you?”

  He laughed with her, nodding his head. “Yup, I do.”

  “Still, Shep,” she said, her voice becoming soft, “you’ve shown me so much … in such a short period of time.”

  Shep took her into his arms. “And there’s so much more for us to share, Tess,” he murmured against her ear, kissing her. “Now,” he said, his breath moist against her cheek, “want to tell me what caused that worry in your eyes earlier?” He gave her a reassuring squeeze. “And I promise I won’t think you’re crazy or silly.”

  Tess turned in his arms, her voice low, almost inaudible. “When you had the problem with the T-38, I almost died, Shep. During that emergency I realized just how much I loved you.” Her eyes grew soft and misty as she met his tender gaze. “I—I didn’t know at that time if you loved me. I didn’t know what to do with my emotions. I didn’t know how to tell you what I felt. And when you kidded me about your being picked to fly the B-1, my stomach just knotted. For some reason the fear of losing you the way I had lost Cy devastated me to such an extent that I just withdrew from you.”

  The pain was evident in her voice. “I should have told you earlier that I loved you,” he apologized quietly. “I saw how upset you were when I landed. I should have realized then.”

  The silence deepened. “Are you still afraid of losing me in an airplane crash?” he asked.

  Tess closed her eyes, burying her head against his shoulder. “Yes
. God, I’ve just found you, Shep. I—I couldn’t cope with losing you too—”

  “Honey, I’m not going to be torn away from you like Cy was,” he reassured her, his voice husky with conviction.

  Tess bit down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling. “My head knows that, but my heart doesn’t!” she cried. “I can’t believe it, Shep! I work with those blueprints day in and day out. I know how that plane works just like you do. But when I think about you climbing up that twelve-foot ladder into the cockpit of the B-1, I just get shaky with fear. I’ve cried so much about it the last week since you were assigned to the first team.”

  He frowned, his nostrils flaring with unspoken frustration. Absently he stroked her unbound hair, trying to soothe away her very real fear. Finally an idea surfaced. He dislodged Tess, pulling her to her feet. “Come on,” he urged, “let’s get dressed. There’s someplace we need to go.”

  She gave him a startled look. “What are you talking about?”

  Shep leaned down, dropping a kiss on her lips. “Trust me, Irish princess. I think what we’re going to do will help put your fears to rest.” He gave her a pat on the rear. “Come on.”

  Shep drove them into Edwards Air Force Base just as night was beginning to overtake the day. He was inexplicably buoyant as he pulled up to the hangar which housed the B-1. Helping Tess out of the car, Shep guided her through a small side door. Most of the hangar was swathed in darkness, but there were a few lights on in one corner, chasing the shadows away. Their footsteps echoed in the silence. A few technicians ambled around, lunch pails in their hands as they made their way toward the exits.

  He halted at one of the many offices along the southern wall of the hangar. “Bill?” he called, sticking his head inside.

  “Yeah? Hi, Shep. What the hell are you doing here? We’re about ready to wrap it up. These twelve-hour days are getting pretty long.”