Unspoken Promises (The Unspoken Love Series Book 2)

by H. P. Davenport

  I don’t speak. I silently nod my head. Maybe it’s true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it… but it’s also true that we don’t know what we have until we realize we’ve been... needing each other the entire time. Missing each other the entire time.

  LINCOLN

  “Some people will go through hell with someone if they think heaven is at the end of the road.”

  – Sonya Parker

  This week has been rough. Morgan took the week off from the club. Every time I went by her apartment, she was in the same position… curled up in sweats on the couch. Water bottles cover the table in front of the couch. I don’t think she’s eaten all week. Every time I asked if she wanted something to eat, she would shake her head, and pull the blanket farther up toward her neck.

  I made it a point to take time away from Aces this week to be with her. I held her in my arms each night. She would curl close against my body and fall asleep. We may not have spoken much, but having her in my arms made the pain less. It loosened the reigns strangling my lungs, so I could breathe a little more.

  Morgan is pulling away more with each day that passes. I thought the tragedy of losing our baby would pull us together, but somedays it feels like we’re farther apart than we’ve ever been.

  This week, we are both back to work. Now when I text her, she responds but her answers are usually short. We continue to just discuss matters concerning Redemption. When I ask her how she is, she avoids answering me. We never really discussed her being pregnant. Once I found out she lost the baby, I never pushed the issue. But I have questions. Questions that I deserve the answers to.

  I knock loudly on her office door at Redemption. I know she’s in there, Jason said she’s been there most of the night. I don’t wait for her to acknowledge the knock, I open the door and shut it behind me quickly and lock the door.

  “I’m not in the mood, so just tell me why you’re here so we can get this over with. I’m sure you want to go on your merry way and do whatever it is you want to do with Lauren.” Her voice was hoarse with frustration as she was shutting the door to the safe.

  Is she for real? I thought we put the Lauren thing to rest.

  She walks over to her desk, pulls her chair out to sit and crosses her toned leg over the other and begins to tap her black heel against the side of her desk.

  My lips pucker with annoyance. “Lauren, are you kidding me? I told you nothing happened that night. I explained to you exactly what happened. I thought we were past this? What more do you want from me, Morgan?” I ask harshly and lean casually against the doorframe. This is so much more than her assumption with Lauren. Morgan is putting her guard up.

  “You have the balls to give me an attitude. I have the right to be pissed at you. You hooked up with one of our staff members. Lauren, at that, are you kidding me?” she huffs.

  I take several steps and numbly sink into one of the chairs, my hands shaking. I close my eyes. This can’t be happening. I swallow past the knot in my throat. We’re circling back to Lauren, rather than focusing on the vicious storm brewing between us.

  “Nothing happened with Lauren,” I answer honestly.

  She shakes her head, looking away. “I know what I saw.”

  Sighing, I drop my head down low, running my hands through my thick, unruly blond hair. “You saw what you wanted to see. You failed to hear what I told her before you walked in my office.”

  She stares into my eyes, “Don’t lie to me.”

  “Like I said, nothing happened. I explained this all that night. You just failed to listen.” I repeat, my expression hardening. My patience is running thin on this subject.

  “Lincoln,” I hear the desperation in her voice. “I saw it with my own eyes.”

  “Morgan! Will you stop!” I yell, making her flinch.

  “Don’t you get it. I don’t want anyone else. You’re it for me. How many ways can I tell you that?”

  “I don’t know, maybe you could have wanted to marry me,” her words are laced with sarcasm. “Maybe that would have told me that I was it for you.” Her eyes glow with inner fire.

  Damn that mouth of hers. She says what she means and means what she says. I have to try to reign this conversation in before it goes to shit.

  “I’m only going to say this once. Nothing, and I mean nothing happened between Lauren and me. The connection you and I have is real and was formed all those years ago, but there is more to us than that. Just because I don’t believe in marriage doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You’re the only one for me. We lost a baby, Morgan. We have to acknowledge that. If we don’t, how can we move on? You have to realize this.”

  “Who said I wanted to move on, Lincoln? I moved back to my apartment. I told you what I wanted, and you didn’t want the same things as me.”

  “Christ, here we go again. You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met.”

  “Do you want a drink?” She nudges the bottle of rum on her desk toward me and I stare at it. Her abrupt change of subject is startling. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk about this.

  Slowly I shake my head. “I’ll pass.”

  She smiles and takes a sip of her drink.

  “How many of those have you had?” I ask.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not turning into an alcoholic. I didn’t feel like going downstairs. There was a bottle of rum in the fridge and I already had a soda from the bar,” she explains.

  “Morgan.”

  “What, Lincoln? What do you want me to say?” She looks down at the floor. “Do you want me to tell you how much it hurts to know that I had our baby growing inside me and I lost it? Do you want me to tell you that at times I can barely breathe under the weight of the secret I kept from you?” The tense lines on her forehead relax.

  I hesitate measuring her for a moment. “I wish you would have told me. I could have been there for you. I should have been the one there to hold your hand through all of this.”

  Biting her lip, she looks away before bringing her eyes back to me. “You need to know that I love you. I had every intention of telling you. I was going to tell you when I walked in on you and Lauren,” she mutters uneasily.

  I feel like the floor just fell out from under me. My stomach drops. I grip a handful of my hair and pull it tightly. “Fuck, Morgan.”

  I look at Morgan through blurred vision.

  She gets up from her seat and walks around to the front of her desk.

  I reach and clutch her hands in mine. “Please believe me when I tell you that nothing happened. I don’t want anyone else, Morgan. I’ve only ever wanted one damn woman and that was you. You were my first, and I pray to God that you are my last. I don’t ever want to be with anyone else. I could never be with anyone else.”

  She withdraws her hand from mine and smooths my hair gently. “It’s the same with me. No matter what happens between the two of us, I can’t stop thinking about you. I close my eyes, it’s your burning blue eyes I see. I thought leaving you would make it stop, but it didn’t.”

  My Morgan. The girl I fell in love with all those years back. The girl who stood by my side. Helped me build two businesses from the ground up, until one day she just... left me. Can I say I blame her? If I said yes, I would be completely unfair.

  She wanted what she wanted. In the end, I’m the one who needs to figure out what I want. These past few months have opened my eyes.

  I told myself a long damn time ago that if I ever got this girl’s attention and managed to keep it, I would make her mine. I’ve been with Morgan since I was sixteen. I promised her all those years ago that I would love her always and forever. It’s about time I prove it to her.

  I gently ease her down into my lap and cradle her face between my palms. My lips brush against hers as she speaks.

  “I’m the girl who’s trying to be happy again, but I can’t because everything is so broken. I’m drowning. I don’t know how to begin to even crawl back to the surface to put all the shattered pieces of my life, my h
eart back together again.”

  “Come here.” My lips press against hers, then gently cover her mouth. The kiss is slow, thoughtful. Her hands slide into my hair.

  I pull back and my eyes catch and hold hers. “Let me help. Let me help pick up the broken pieces. I’ll help make you whole again. We’ll become whole together.”

  Morgan is shuffling through papers at the bar when the door to Redemption closes behind me. She lifts her head and smiles when she sees me. “What are you doing here?”

  I walk over and lean back on my elbows against the bar. “I figured we could go back to my place or yours to finish the conversation we started upstairs earlier.”

  “Okay, I need to wrap up a few things, then we can get out of here.”

  “Do you need help?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “Thanks, but I just need to finish counting out the money and lock up my office.

  Morgan wraps things up quickly and we catch a cab back to her place.

  She opens the door to her apartment and flicks on the light switch on the wall by the door. She gestures for me to go in first. I walk in and my eyes bounce around the room. She painted the living room and got new furniture.

  “I like what you did to the place.”

  She tosses her keys on the table and sits on the couch. “I was tired of the same stuff. I needed to make some changes.”

  “So it wasn’t just with me, you made other changes in your life, too.” I raise a brow at her.

  “Really, you really want to go there? I was hoping we would have a good conversation. I don’t want to fight with you.”

  I hold my hands up as I approach her and sit next to her.

  “I don’t want to fight, although make-up sex is usually really good after a knock out fight between the two of us.”

  She shoves my shoulder. “Is that so?” she says and cocks her dark brow.

  “I have so much to say, I don’t really know where to start.”

  She hugs her knees to her chest. “How ‘bout I start. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was pregnant. I wasn’t going to keep it from you. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I trapped you. I knew you didn’t want to get married, I didn’t want you to think that I went and got pregnant on purpose to force your hand.”

  I rub my hand down my face and exhale a long, audible breath. “Morgan, that thought never crossed my mind. My mind never went in that direction. I assumed you didn’t tell me, because the baby wasn’t mine. I know I shouldn’t have asked you that at the hospital. It wasn’t the right time or place, but I was angry. My mind ran rampant that day in the waiting room. I couldn’t think of a reason why you would have kept that from me. I was worried about how badly you were hurt from the accident and I assumed the worst.”

  She doesn’t speak at first. Then she looks up at me. “I understand why you may have thought what you did. I really do. I was angry at first… furious, really. But then when I had time to process everything, I could see why you would think that.”

  “Even if you still didn’t want to be together, we would have raised the baby together. I would have been there for you every step of the way. I would have prayed that maybe the baby would have brought us back together, but I wouldn’t have let you raise the baby on your own. That wouldn’t have been an option, Morgan.”

  “I know. Wanna know one of the things that bothered me the most? I always pictured you holding my hand while we heard our baby’s heartbeat together. I felt horrible for taking that away from you. I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat. I got to see the little peanut on the screen when they did the ultrasound.” She wipes the tears falling freely down her cheeks.

  “I’m so sorry I took that from you. You didn’t get to experience that,” she whispers.

  “Come here,” I say as I reach my hand out and grasp hers with mine. I pull her close to me and wrap my arms around her. She leans into my shoulder and cries.

  “I was angry at first, I truly was, but I forgive you, Morgan.” I lean down and place a soft kiss on her head.

  “We both could have handled things differently. All we can do is focus on the future and not the past.”

  MORGAN

  “We were together. I forget the rest.”

  – Walt Whitman

  I walk into Aces and Lincoln is behind the bar counting the bottles of liquor lining the shelves. He turns when the door shuts behind me. I click the lock since it’s late.

  “What brings you here?” he asks.

  “I was on my way home. Redemption was slow, so I closed a little early. Thought maybe we could grab a cup of coffee or something.”

  “She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley is playing softly through the speakers. Lincoln must have his iPod on the docking station because this is one of his favorite songs.

  Lincoln walks around the bar and walks toward me. “Come here,” he says and extends his hand to me. I take his hand in mine.

  “Dance with me,” he says as he pulls me against his chest.

  He holds me close and I savor the feeling of his body close to mine. The feel of his arms wrapped around me has always brought me comfort.

  Lincoln sings the lyrics of the song softly in my ear. I run my fingers in his hair as my other hand holds his head close.

  Tears blind my eyes. He pulls his head back and cups my face and sings “She’s everything to me,” and leans down to claim my lips.

  When the song ends “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again” by Danny Gokey begins.

  As we move slowly on the dance floor, the words of the song hit home. As the lyrics filter through the speakers, I begin to sob. Lincoln pulls me flush against his body. The lyrics I’m hearing are exactly how I feel. I’ve been struggling with losing the baby. I’ve begged God to tell me why this happened. To give me some sign as to how I would be able to move on.

  “I heard this song the other day. I needed you to hear it. Close your eyes and listen to the words,” he whispers. “Open your heart to me again, Morgan,” Lincoln says as he cradles my head against his chest.

  I weep aloud. I clench his shirt in my hands.

  “Shh… baby, it’s okay.”

  A raw grief overwhelms me. I’ve been struggling with letting go of the emptiness that has taken over my soul, my heart.

  I pull my head back and gaze at Lincoln in despair. My eyes cloud with tears.

  Lincoln’s lips brush against mine as he speaks, “Tell your heart to beat again, Morgan. You need to live again. I know you feel broken. The life we knew shattered right in front of us on Halloween night and has only spiraled out of control since then. But one thing I know about the two of us is that together we can heal and get through this. But I need you in my life and I know in your heart you want me back in your life, too.”

  His hand brushes the hair from my neck. He leans forward and his lips claim mine. He leans back and gazes into my eyes. “I love you. Always and forever.”

  Standing on tiptoe, I touch my lips to his.

  “Always and forever.”

  LINCOLN

  “I like it when you smile. But I LOVE it when I’m the reason.”

  – Unknown

  I’m startled by a loud knock on the door. “Lincoln! Open up! I’m wet,” Morgan yells.

  She’s wet. Those two words are like every man’s fantasy brought to life and is definitely something that I want to hear. The previous night, I’d dreamt about Morgan. She was in the bar at closing. No one else was around but us. I fucked her on the bar. It was hard, rough, wanted and definitely needed.

  I woke up in the middle of it and had to take a cold shower and was forced to take care of business myself. I would have much preferred to have had Morgan’s lips, or even her hand wrapped tightly around my cock. But, hey, that dream was much better than some of the nightmares I’ve had over the past few months. Nightmares where I’d woken up in a sweat, chest panting, and alone in bed. I’d take fantasies any day.

  I push open the bar door and Morgan i
s standing soaked before me. It’s pouring out. Thunder roars in the night and lightning illuminates the dark sky. “Come on, get in here,” I say as I pull her in from the rain.

  I run to the back and grab a towel from the supply closet. “Here, dry yourself off.”

  Morgan stands in a puddle of water forming on the hardwood floor. Without a moment’s hesitation, Morgan begins to strip. Her trembling fingers unbutton her jeans and she pulls her tight fitting shirt over her head. She stands before me in nothing more than a bra and black lacey thong. She reaches for the towel, snatching it from my hand and dries her hair, wipes her face, arms and legs. She stands and wraps the towel tightly around her body. The swell of her breasts on full display.

  My mouth waters. My dick tightens in my jeans thinking about what I’m going to do to her. My dream was going to come to life right here… right now. I glance at the bar.

  Morgan stares up at me with those big brown eyes, “Linc—”

  I cut her off with my mouth. She whimpers against my kiss a second before my tongue touches hers. That’s it. That’s all it takes. I need her. I need to be inside her. I need to claim her and make her mine again. It’s been too long since I’ve made love to her.

  I grab her legs and hoist her up my body. Her legs wrap around my waist. I walk toward the bar and place her on top of it. I pin her there, my hands braced on the top of the bar at either side of her waist.

  She runs her hands through my hair, gripping it tightly. My hand slowly caresses her thigh. She whimpers against my lips the moment my finger finds her swollen bud.

  The kiss turns hungry quickly. The towel drops from between us exposing her breasts. Morgan reaches for my shirt, pulling it from my jeans. I pull the shirt over my head, tossing it to the side.

  She caresses my stomach with her fingertips and follows my happy trail to the top button of my jeans. She reaches for my button, unfastening it very quickly. I push my pants and boxers down, kicking them to the side.