Apocalyptic Apothecary

by Ron Foster

  The old metal of the lock was tougher than he thought and they had to use Nick’s spare drill battery before they finally punched through and got ready to try the door knob.

  “If this doesn’t work, I am going to let you beat that damn door in, Knobby! You all ready?” Zack said to his very anticipative audience.

  “Ok, one, two, THREE!” and Zack turned the knob with a satisfying grin that he had finally done his duty in getting this lock open to see what was inside.

  He eased back the heavy door on screeching hinges as Nick shone his powerful LED flashlight into the darkness in great anticipation for them to only find in back of this door a few feet away stood another door which appeared to be firmly padlocked. I giant sigh went up as at first, they felt crestfallen and let down to see the giant ancient padlock but were soon all smiles to see a set of keys were still stuck in it.

  “Well, that’s the dandiest luck I have ever seen! How about that! Somebody was sure nice to us to leave those things still stuck in the lock!” Ann said crowding around Zack and Nick to peer into the gloom.

  “Damn sure was!” Knobby said using his great height to peer over her head and into the little room.

  “We want to see!” Rachel and Donna chimed in as the others made space for them to have a look-see for themselves also.

  “What’s that image engraved on the lock?” Rachel noted, pulling her own flashlight out and moving closer for a better look.

  “Skull and cross bones! Think it’s pirate treasure?” Donna exclaimed as Ezra said something about “told you so!”.

  “You all hold up! Careful now! I don’t know about that treasure angle but it’s going to remind me a whole lot that I better stop and think about being very cautious about opening that door. You all step back a bit and let me study this possible danger some. Could be there is an alarm or booby trap on this door and that lock is a warning that turning the key trips it. This all seems a bit way too easy now, seeing that they had state of the art security installed so well on that first door!” Zack cautioned as everyone gave the doorway a wide slow cautious berth as he carefully examined the floor boards leading to the door before stepping in closer himself in case there were any pressure boards he could step on and run afoul of lord knows what.

  “Do you reckon whoever locked this door last just left the keys with the lock open for convenience because everything was emptied out?” Donna asked saying it made sense to her if it was just a saferoom for the houses’ valuable silver serving sets or something.

  “I don’t know, that is a mighty fancy lock. Let me try to make out the encryption on the face of it.” Zack said wetting his finger in his mouth before using it to wipe off about a half century of dust from it.

  “I read that raised print to say, if you include the skull, Death or Glory? Anyone got any further insights to the meaning of this? Damn thing sounds like it’s daring us to find out!” Zack said studying the lock and the faces of his friends who evidently had their own brain wheels turning to solve the mystery of this apparent warning.

  “I got the same message in my mind as you did, Zack! But I am like, is it daring me to open the door, or is it daring me to leave it closed? Or does it have something to do with that keyhole? Wasn’t something called a glory hole back in the day to refer to a big gold or silver strike during the gold rush era?” Nick said as Knobby started looking like a wolf sniffing the air and suggesting that they tie a string to the key and pull it and run and wait on what happened.

  “Nothing ventured, nothing gained?” Ezra offered saying he would maybe try notching a broom handle and turning the key himself from a distance.

  “Never more, quoth the Raven!” Ann added saying there was no telling if it was hooked to some old timey tear gas, explosive or flying daggers that could come out of there if they were making some kind of a mistake by messing with it.

  “Come see, come saw and come back and look at it later?” Donna interjected agreeing with Ann about possible risk and reminding them to get the hell away from the possibly dangerous mystery and not do anything foolish just yet and go sit in the parlor for a bit downstairs and discuss what they had seen.

  Rachel said a cryptic “to every end there is a beginning,” not quite done with the literary rhyme game they were playing just yet and jokingly asking if anyone was planning on shooting the lock off.

  After a brief laugh with everyone standing around grinning and fondling their sidearms, Zack said they should listen to Donna and move away downstairs.

  “I agree with all of you and I agree with Donna in particular! Let’s all go downstairs and sort this crap out first before old Billy bones here reminds us some more that we can mess up bigtime if we are not careful. Damn, I should have stuck to my original plan, not that it would have put us in any better position than now, but it has or still has merit. Where the hell is Parker and Dee, anyway? They were supposed to be going to find me an old bit and brace tool to borrow or trade for to poke a spy hole into that door to see inside, anyway. Dang it, Nick! If I had known you had a damn portable drill in that RV, those two wouldn’t be gone and I wouldn’t have to be waiting and worrying about looking for them!” Zack complained.

  “Hey buddy, you didn’t consult me before sending them off on that mission. I was offering you tools to get in there long before you told me and Knobby to go find something to do with ourselves like fishing because we were interfering with your jabbing them little bits of wire into that lock.” Nick said gruffly not having any confidence in Zack’s alleged lock picking skills.

  “I told you that you I had to be able to sense and feel as well as listen to the least bit of noise or resistance when trying to do that!” Zack fired back.

  “You didn’t say nothing about drilling a hole in the door to peek in!” Knobby reminded him that it was his fault for not telling them about what he was thinking.

  “Just where was it anyway that you sent him and Dee off too?” Ezra asked… not knowing that part about the discussion either, about what was behind door number one that Parker, Dee and Zack had puzzled out a solution to last night while Ann, Donna and Rachel bottled a new more diluted herbal mix for the dispensary.

  “He went off on that shiny new looted motorcycle of his with Dee down to Bobby’s place on the river. I was pretty sure he would have one of those old carpenter tools or know where to get one at. I don’t know where my mind was at not to think about looking for a battery operated one. I told him to go borrow a regular plug in type drill if need be and could find a big wood bit and we would run it off the inverter on the RV to have us a look-see in that closet. Shit, call me ancient and late for supper but I am used to what I had for tools on my homestead and not what’s new and common these days. I can’t believe I spent so much time looking at and studying that door for weeks wondering what’s behind it before Parker popped up and said the obvious about us drilling a hole in it to see in. It’s the apocalypse and you all’s minds ain’t working any better than mine either or we wouldn’t be having this discussion! I didn’t mention it yet because we had no power way up here and no extra extension cords or a drill and figured an old bit brace hand drill would solve all those problems.” Zack said.

  “I believe we must all be losing our wits as well as our minds some these days for us not to have spied that obvious answer! Things like that just don’t come readily to mind these days and I find myself doing dufus shit all the time before I realize an answer. Maybe it is just because we ain’t sleeping and eating right. You said yourself, Zack, that poor diet or starvation is going to be affecting everyone’s minds soon enough, but me? I am constantly thinking it is just my age or the effects of this non-stop physical exertion that is making me feel like a foolish drag ass dumbass at times! I tell you, it’s like going into a room and forgetting what you come in for! That kind of having to stop and think about it longer than I like has got me second guessing myself a lot.” Ezra said tiredly. Loss of sleep, a slim diet, a few medical issues etc. was slowing his thought
processes and concentration down it seemed and this fact was troubling to him. Zack told him it was just lack of eating well and resting well but he wasn’t sure.

  “Hell, nobody I know thinks as quick as they used to, Ezra! Zack will tell me about some weird measurement or idea he wants me to help him to remember to discuss with you later and danged if we haven’t both forgotten the answer or the reason for the measurement. We both are bad about ending up for some dumb reason arguing with each other about trivial stuff like who forgot what and why!” Ann reassured as Zack looked at her side eyed as if it was going to end up being said it was mostly his fault somehow.

  Suddenly they heard the roar of a motorcycle coming across what used to be the front lawn and they went outside to greet Dee and Parker who had finally returned.

  “Delivery!” A happy Dee said holding up a canvas bag that evidently held the drill Zack had sent them after.

  “Bobby had one available for us, huh!” Zack said.

  “Yea and it didn’t cost us anything to get ahold of it either! It’s on loan to us until we are done with it and we just got to return it!” Parker said with a grin.

  “Why are you all looking so down and out? Lot of long faces around here, I thought for sure that we would be having us a race up the stairs with this drill to see what’s in back of that door!” Dee said studying everyone’s faces.

  “Well, we already know what’s in back of that door now…” Donna said turning to look at everybody with a wistful glance.

  “ANOTHER FRIGGIN DOOR!” Ann blurted out loudly before chuckling about the quandary they were in.

  “So, I guess we drill a hole in that one to see what’s behind it?” Dee said considering doing a valley girl “DUH!” exclamation.

  “Well, there is possibly a problem to contend with there, maybe.” Zack said and described that Jolly Roger looking lock with the key in it along with its cryptic message.

  “How about you getting “Smash em” or “Bash Em” over there to put their body armor on and just go turn the key? If there ever was any kind of booby trap to that lock, it has gotta be so old now it won’t work or most likely there was nothing there to begin with!” Parker said looking at Nick and Knobby considering it.

  “Sounds like a plan?” Zack offered studying the men’s faces.

  “You are moving too quick, Zack, let’s go back to all of us sitting on the couches for a bit. That secret will keep!” Donna said like she was scolding him and his schoolboy nature to want to poke things before studying them for safety first.

  “Hey, don’t mess with me! It was Ezra that was all up for bombing that thing, remember?” Zack said with a grin trying to shift the scrutiny.

  “Hey, there! I was going to ask you for the match to do it!” Ezra said with a smile making Zack do a double take on messing with his buddy.

  “DOORS OPEN!” Rachel called out from the front door of the house waving.

  A huge “DO WHAT!” moment occurred as everyone turned in shock to see Rachel holding up the skull faced lock and telling them that she had just gone ahead and turned the key holding it with an oven mitt. “I ain’t no fool, but I figured you all were just a bunch of scardey cats! It just made no sense at all to me for the keys be in that thing instead of leaving it locked and it was a booby trap, so while all you were out here jawing and hiding, I just ran back upstairs and took the lock off!” Rachel said full of herself and her brave move.

  “What’s in back of the door?” Ezra asked as everyone breathlessly waited for the response...

  “Like I said, ain’t no fool. I took the lock off, I carefully opened the hasp and then came back down here pronto without opening the door to show you the lock and say ‘safe so far’!” Rachel said with a mischievous grin.

  “You see what I got to put up with?” Donna said a bit miffed by her roommate’s possibly foolish bravado but proud of her too.

  “Ah hell, I spent all that time talking to Bobby and getting you all that tool to use for free and now you don’t even need it?” Parker said, trying to understand the situation.

  “Looks that way, buddy boy! You can open that door if you want to, though!” Nick said thinking maybe he could fit his legs through Knobby’s vest to have some armored plated underwear on if there was indeed a nasty surprise waiting for whoever opened the door. Nick quit joking around for the moment and said he would wear his regular chest vest and helmet and bomb squad baby diaper himself in to Knobby’s vest to Humpty Dumpty his way in for a look-see, though.

  The imagery of such a look was just too much for Zack as he guffawed and good naturedly insulted his friend all the way down the hall with Nick exaggeratedly pigeon walking along to go give the door a try. Lord help them both if the hilarity of the moment went astray as they clowned around, but at this point neither one of them was too much worried that an actual trap of some kind lay beyond that flimsier looking door. Whoever had made that lock had really played a big joke on all of them or could be there was some fraternal masonic message or meaning to its’ significance they had decided before undertaking to just go on in.

  The door opened and a musty earthy smell rolled out. No sparks, no explosions or tomb robber poisoned arrows came flying out of the darkness, thankfully.

  They let the dusty air clear some and listened intently before slowly moving forward into the gloom to see what might be there.

  It was a staircase like you would see in an old ship leading up a short flight of steps to the attic and when they got up there, a long drawn hushed amazement fell over all. As their slowly eyes adjusted to the dimness, the light from the dirty attic window revealed strange and wonderous things arranged here and there all over the gigantic attic room.

  “What the hell is this? Some kind of a doctor’s office?” Zack asked, looking around.

  “More like some mad scientist’s lair, I say! Kind of spooky in here if you ask me!” Ezra exclaimed eying the dusty labware and the sure was real-looking human skeleton model grinning its death stare at him.

  “I think it’s an old apothecary shop!” Ann said, excitedly recognizing the tools of the trade.

  “Could be somebody was trying their hand at Alchemy.” Donna said, examining what looked like a big copper retort with odd markings on it.

  “Or could have been a moonshiner that was also a doctor!” Nick said recognizing a still of any type when he saw one.

  “This place looks like it could have been be all of the above. How long do you think it has been since someone was up here?”

  “No telling. There is enough dust on everything in here, I bet I could probably grow potatoes on this table. I recognize this thing though from seeing them in museums. It looks like a Civil War doctors’ case.” Zack said picking up an artifact from a very dusty wooden plank work bench.

  “I recognize this stuff! Folks got prescribed some powerful pain killers back in the day.” Ann said pointing out some old Opium and Morphine bottles

  “I bet this place must have served at one time as some kind of pharmacy or dispensary way back in the day. Pretty weird place to put one, though.” Zack said prowling around and wearing a happy grin that their medicine bottle shortage was over, well mostly, if he could find any useable corks or rubber stoppers not unusable from age.

  “See if that window will open, Ezra, but don’t try to force it up.” Donna said hoping for some clean air to breathe in this musty dusty place.

  Ezra went to do the task and everyone else just sort of spread out and explored according to their own muse or interests.

  2

  The Book Of Knowledge

  “Anybody see any other kind of keys laying around anywhere? I found me something over here requiring one.” Zack called out, studying a rugged oak cabinet taking over the shadows of a musty corner.

  “Don’t tell me that there is another door that needs getting into! I don’t think I can take another one of those at the moment!” Ann cried in an “Oh No!” voice of humorous exasperation as she rushed over to see what it
was Zack was standing in front of, that had him so fascinated and excited.