Fighting for Desire

by Sarah Bale

  Her chest tightened and for a moment she feared she was going to have a panic attack right there in the middle of Dev’s party. Closing her eyes, she counted to ten and remembered that she was safe. The panicked feeling lessened and she took in a long, deep breath, filling her lungs.

  She needed to talk to Dev, tell him everything. Leading him on wasn’t fair, especially now that Johnny was there, wanting to sponsor his fights. Things were getting out of hand and she was tired of all the lies.

  For the first time in eight years she knew she was about to do the right thing. After she talked to Dev, he would never want to see her again but she could live with the repercussions. All that mattered was his safety, and playing along with Johnny wasn’t the safe thing to do.

  She made her way through the various groups of people, her focus on Dev, but just before she reached him a smiling Katie stepped in Shannon’s path.

  “You are rocking that dress tonight, Shannon! Heads keep turning your way.”

  “Thanks, Katie.” She peered over her shoulder. “I’m actually trying to find Dev.”

  Katie waved her hand as if dismissing Shannon’s goal. “He’s talking shop right now. Come on, I want you to meet my husband.”

  Katie took Shannon by the hand and led her in the opposite direction, away from Dev. At least Johnny wasn’t nearby. A tall blond man stood near the edge of the roof, leaning against the railing. He held a glass of champagne and took a sip as they approached.

  Somehow he wasn’t the type of guy she expected Katie to be with. Shannon pictured someone more like…well, someone like Marco.

  “Shannon, this is my husband, Hugh.”

  He smiled, showing off two dimpled cheeks. Okay, she could kind of see the appeal, with his surfer-boy good looks.

  “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  Shannon grinned. “I love your accent. Australia?”

  He grinned back. “Born and raised in Sydney.”

  His hotness factor climbed with each word he spoke.

  “What do you do for a living?” she asked.

  “When Kat and I are back in Sydney I volunteer with the fire and rescue service. When I’m not in Sydney I do a little modeling here and there.”

  Katie chimed in. “Unfortunately we aren’t in Sydney as much as we’d like. Hugh also does a lot of fundraising for the fire brigade as we travel.”

  Shannon had thought Katie lived in Vegas but it sounded as if they traveled a lot. Shannon took another peek at Hugh. She knew for a fact she had seen him on the cover of more than one magazine. She felt almost star-struck standing next to him.

  Marco walked up to their group and kissed Katie on the cheek. Shannon noticed a moment of tension before the men shook hands.

  “I’m glad you two could make it,” he said.

  Katie beamed up at him. “We wouldn’t have missed it, would we, Hugh?”

  Hugh nodded. “Always a pleasure, Marco.”

  The way he said Marco’s name sounded like a caress and sent shivers down her spine. What on earth was going on with the three of them?

  “What happened the other night, just out of curiosity?” Marco asked Hugh.

  Hugh shrugged. “The club was crowded so we left.”

  “Didn’t think to text me and let me know?”

  Katie jumped into the conversation smoothly. “Boys, boys…now is not the time for this…”

  What in the heck were they talking about?

  Shannon suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Well if you will excuse me, I need to find Dev.”

  She spotted him standing with a group of women who were fawning all over him. As she made her way toward him, his face lit up in a smile.

  “Ladies, always a pleasure,” he said.

  She swore she heard a sigh as he walked away. Of course she couldn’t blame them, especially when he was dressed in all black. He was definitely swoon-worthy.

  She grinned as he pulled her into his arms.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You. I’ve never seen you in your element before. It’s kind of sexy.”

  His eyebrow lifted. “Oh?”

  She laughed. “Yeah. Very sexy.”

  His arms tightened around her waist. “You know we could always leave.”

  Johnny’s words danced in her mind. “What time is it?”

  Dev looked at his watch. “Almost midnight. Still want to bounce?”

  “Yes I do. Come on, sexy. Let’s go.”

  She took him by the hand and led him toward the elevators. No one seemed to notice their departure and she was glad. If Marco saw them, he would stop them. If Johnny saw them, he would get too much enjoyment.

  As the doors closed Dev nuzzled her neck. “Did you have a good time tonight?”

  “I met Katie’s husband. He wasn’t what I expected.”

  He chuckled. “Expecting someone more like Marco?”

  “Yes, I honestly was. What exactly is going on with the three of them?”

  “You noticed that too, huh?” He pulled her closer and went on. “Katie and Marco used to be an item. It got ugly when Katie wanted more than Marco could give so she left and married Hugh.”

  “I understand that much but what is going on with the three of them now?”

  His hands began to make their way down her back until they reached her ass and then he squeezed. A gasp left her lips as the elevator came to a stop on their floor.

  “I don’t ask questions about things that aren’t my business, Shan.”

  “But if you were to guess?”

  “I’d say they’re fucking. All three of them.”

  An image of Dev and Marco sharing a woman flashed through her mind.

  He must have sensed her thoughts because he laughed. “Oh no. I’m not opening that can of worms. The past is the past, babe. No need to relive all the gritty details.”

  She looked up at him. If only he truly meant that the past could stay in the past.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Dev held back another laugh as he watched Shannon’s mind working. She might deny it but he could always tell when something perplexed her. And apparently she was about to grill him regarding Marco’s relationship with Katie and Hugh.

  He opened the door to their room and pulled her inside. He needed to get her out of that sexy dress. Now.

  “Does that mean Marco is bi?”

  He laughed. “What? I don’t know.”

  “Well you would have to know…”

  He sighed. “You aren’t going to let this go are you?”

  She shook her head. “Not until you answer my questions.”

  He led her to their room and untied his tie but left it hanging around his neck.

  “Okay, shoot. But I’m not promising to answer everything.”

  “Fair enough. Did you two ever share a woman?”

  Whoa, right to the big one! He peered at her and then nodded. “Yeah, we have shared a woman before.”

  “How?”

  “Are you asking how we could be so disrespectful to women or the actual mechanics?”

  She blushed. “The mechanics.”

  Still not knowing if she really wanted to hear, he began slowly. “We would take the woman to the room and I would usually start by kissing her neck or her ear. Never her mouth though. I always built up to the mouth.”

  “Show me.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “Shan, I don’t know what you want…”

  “I’ve always wondered okay? So…show me.”

  What in the hell was going on? He shook his head, trying to clear the foggy feeling.

  “Dev…please don’t make me ask again.”

  Her cheeks flushed and unease showed in her eyes. But there was also desire staring back at him. He moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Taking in a deep breath, he could smell the vanilla in her shampoo. He ran his nose against her neck before nipping her earlobe.

  She gasped as he tugged on the lobe with his teeth b
efore letting go.

  “Marco would usually join in at this point,” he said as he ran his hands over her stomach. “While I kissed her, he would begin his own tour of her body. He likes to start at a woman’s breasts for obvious reasons.”

  He lifted one hand to cup her right breast. She leaned back against his chest and he massaged the round globe until her nipple peaked.

  “Since Marco is enjoying all the fun in the front, I drop to my knees and worship her back.”

  He lowered to the floor and held onto her hips. She watched him over her shoulder with hooded eyes as he ran his hands down her legs and then underneath her dress.

  “I think you have too many clothes on for what comes next.”

  She reached back to unclasp her dress but he stopped her.

  “Oh no, Shannon. I didn’t give you permission to take off your clothes. And if Marco were here, he would agree.”

  “Permission? I don’t understand.”

  He wondered what she would say when he explained the next part. Would she still want to go on or would she tell him to fuck off?

  “When Marco and I share a woman we share her under certain terms.”

  “And those terms are?”

  “We are in control and the woman goes along with what we want.”

  Her mouth fell open. “Like Domination and submission?”

  He chuckled. “Kind of like that. More kinky than anything though.”

  “But…you haven’t showed any signs of liking that kind of stuff before…”

  “Haven’t I? Are you sure about that? Think about it, Shan. I like control. I like to be in charge.”

  She smiled. “I would have never guessed you would be into that freaky shit.”

  He laughed. “Honey, you were just as freaky as me the other night.”

  Her face turned bright red and he went on. “It’s not something that defines my lifestyle. It’s actually more of Marco’s forte.”

  That was an understatement. Marco was heavily into the BDSM scene while Dev only dabbled a bit.

  “But when you share a woman it’s something you do?”

  “Yes.”

  He could tell she was thinking it over so he said, “Take off your dress.”

  He purposely changed his tone to commanded attention and he got the result he was looking for when her eyes widened.

  “Dev?”

  “I said take off your dress. Don’t make me tell you a third time.”

  He swatted her bottom as he finished speaking. Not hard enough to hurt but enough to get his message across. He meant business.

  She unclasped the dress and let it fall, baring her upper body. Damn, she looked so good he thought about telling her to stay that way. She quickly shimmied out of the dress and stood in nothing but her teal thong and heels.

  “No bra? Oh, I approve of that.”

  She grinned. “What would happen next?”

  He swatted her again and she jumped.

  “I didn’t say you could speak now did I?” He massaged the spot where his hand had left a slight red mark. “Of course the women who play with Marco and me would already know the rules.”

  Her eyes were bright with questions so he went on. “But I wouldn’t expect you to know them. Not yet at least.”

  Her eyes lowered. “I’m sure it’s not something I could learn in a month.”

  Damn, he hated how his heart panged in his chest. She was right though. She couldn’t learn his rules in a month. They would need more time but time was something they didn’t have on their side. He kissed her shoulder and didn’t reply. Lying to her…or to himself…wouldn’t do any good. Not when they both knew the truth.

  Shannon took in a deep breath, willing her tears to leave her eyes before she turned to face Dev.

  “I’m getting a headache. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

  She walked across the room and entered the bathroom, closing the door before he could stop her. She turned the sink on and then let her tears fall. Why couldn’t things be different?

  Just when she thought they were getting along something would happen and remind her she was living on bought time. She splashed water on her face, trying to wash away any remnants of her tears. Luckily her lips weren’t swollen or there would be no hiding the fact she’d been crying.

  She took her hair down and brushed it until it was smooth. A soft knock on the door made her pause.

  “Shan…are you okay?”

  He was using his pet name for her more and more often. He probably didn’t even realize what he was doing or the pain the nickname caused each time.

  She took in a slow breath. “I’m fine. I’ll be right out.”

  She turned off the water and then slipped out of her heels. She picked them up by the straps and walked out of the bathroom. He stood by the door, watching her. She padded to her suitcase and grabbed an oversized t-shirt. Tonight she was going for comfort and nothing else.

  Dev watched her in silence as she slipped on the shirt and then climbed into the bed. If he was disappointed they weren’t going to have sex, he didn’t show his feelings. He began to undress and she pulled the covers around her head so she didn’t have to watch.

  If she watched, she would be tempted to act. If she acted, she would lose her heart forever. And forever was a damn long time. The mattress dipped as he climbed in next to her. His cologne drifted toward her and she buried her face in the pillow to block the scent. Lying like this was torture.

  His arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her close, enveloping her in his warmth.

  “I’m sorry,” he said against her ear.

  Tears filled her eyes again. “Sorry for what?”

  “Sorry things didn’t work out the way we planned.”

  She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about—she already knew. She was sorry too. More than he would ever know. She tried to pull out of his embrace but he tightened his arm around her.

  “Stay.” Not a command but a request.

  She let her body relax against his and tried not to let her mind wander. For far too long she had pushed him away. Time to let him in.

  “Dev,” she whispered. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Hmm?” he mumbled sleepily.

  She looked over her shoulder. His eyes were shut but she prayed he was listening.

  “I never had the abortion.”

  She held her breath as she waited for him to say something.

  “Dev?”

  She looked over her shoulder again as a soft snore left his lips. A bitter laugh escaped her. He would be asleep when she finally had the courage to tell him the truth.

  She ran her hand across his cheek and whispered, “I promise I will tell you again, when you’re awake.”

  Then she shut her eyes and tried to forget the pain and guilt she had carried for the last eight years.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Shannon walked into the living room to find Marco and Dev sitting on the couch. Marco was shaking his head and Dev was cursing. Loudly.

  “What’s going on?” she asked as she pulled up a chair near the sofa. Sitting a few feet away from them seemed the safest choice.

  Dev jumped to his feet and left the room without saying anything. When he was gone, Marco sighed.

  “Arizona was arrested last night around midnight.”

  “And?”

  “And he can’t fight now. The boxing commissioner won’t allow it.”

  That would explain why Dev was so mad.

  “Can’t they just find a replacement opponent?”

  Marco shook his head. “The sponsors all pulled out. They said they aren’t going to waste their money on a second-rate fight.”

  “What happens next?”

  “We’re going to fly out for Colorado and start preparing for the fight there. It’s three weeks from now so hopefully the sponsors will jump on board.”

  God that sucked for Dev.

  “Did any of the sponsors stand behind Dev
?” she asked.

  Marco chuckled. “Only one. I think you met him last night. John Ice.”

  Her heart fell. Johnny was the only sponsor still behind Dev? How in the hell did that happen?

  “I spoke to him this morning. He’s going to try to convince the others to put their money behind the Colorado fight. If they do, then this will be Dev’s biggest fight to date. More so than we thought it was going to be.”

  The more Marco spoke, the more she knew Johnny was up to something. His words from the night before crossed her mind and she shuddered. Midnight. He specifically told her to make sure Dev left the party by midnight. And that is when Arizona was arrested.

  “What was Arizona arrested for?”

  Marco shrugged. “I think drunk driving but I’m not sure. I also heard there were drugs involved. I didn’t ask though—it doesn’t really matter.”

  If Johnny knew any officials in the area, then he was definitely behind Arizona’s arrest. God she knew that better than anyone since he had made sure she had been arrested, too. Dread filled her body and she felt sick.

  “Does that sound good to you?” Marco asked as he stood.

  She blinked and looked up. “I’m sorry. What?”

  He smiled. “Dinner with Katie and Hugh and then we can take the jet to Colorado tonight. Mrs. Ingram is already on her way to the house there to get it ready for us.”

  She ran a hand though her hair. “Yeah that will be good. I’d like to say goodbye to Katie before we leave.” She stood too. “Where did Dev go?”

  “Probably to the gym to blow off some steam. He was pretty pissed about the fight.”

  “I can imagine,” she replied. “I guess I should start packing.”

  She walked back to the room she shared with Dev and pulled out her bag. Hmm, she wasn’t sure everything was going to fit. Since Katie had given her the shoes to take, Shannon was going to need a bigger bag. She picked up her phone to send Katie a message and noticed a new, unread text. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

  You were perfect last night. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.

  Stop texting me, you asshole!

  No one is forcing you to help me… I’d just like to point that out