Fighting for Desire

by Sarah Bale

  Stop texting me!!!!

  I hear you’re leaving for CO tonight. Your next assignment is to continue keeping your boy occupied.

  Stop texting me, stop texting me, stop!!!

  You should be thanking me right now. If Dev’s opponent hadn’t been arrested, there is no telling what would have happened to him

  Stop. Texting. Me.

  Shannon held her phone and waited for a reply but none came. She quickly deleted the texts. Even seeing Johnny’s name made her skin crawl. She rubbed her eyes. How did he even get her cell number? Of course if he could buy off a cop and a judge, then there was no telling who he could bribe for information. She shivered as she remembered the day Johnny almost succeeded in ruining her life.

  “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to step out of the vehicle.”

  Shannon gripped the steering wheel in terror. The cop looking into her window scared her but she didn’t want to do anything that would cause suspicion. Not when she knew what was in her trunk.

  She opened the door and stepped out. The cop looked her over as if she were a steak and she pulled her short skirt down, trying to cover as much of her legs as she could. Johnny insisted she dress like a…whore…and so she had. Now she was regretting it.

  “Did I do something wrong, Officer?”

  He leered at her. “As I said, you were driving hard.”

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what that term meant as he took a step closer toward her.

  “Now this can go one of two ways. Option one—you do everything I say and then I let you go. No questions. No sobriety tests. No car inspections. You can leave and forget I even stopped you.

  “Or option number two—I check your car and run your information. If there is even a mark against your name, you are going to jail. And lock-up here ain’t a place where a pretty little thing like you wants to end up. Understand?”

  He took another step and pinned her between the car door and his obvious erection. Oh god, this couldn’t be happening to her.

  “Did Johnny put you up to this?”

  He reached out and ran his hand through her hair. “What if he did? Think he will come and save you right now?”

  No, she wasn’t dumb enough to believe Johnny would do anything to help her. She had pissed him off and he didn’t forgive easily. The bruises on her neck were proof of that.

  The cop reached down with his other hand and she knew where it was going.

  “Stop,” she yelled. “Don’t touch me!”

  The cop glared. “Are you sure that’s the choice you want to make? I promise what I’m offering is better than the option you’re picking.”

  “I am not a whore and I am not going to let you fuck me!” She practically spat the words in his face.

  The cop jerked back, stared at her a moment then nodded. He pushed a button on the walkie-talkie hooked to his shoulder.

  “I am going to need backup. I have a suspect who is resisting arrest. Suspected DWI and drug possession.”

  She opened her mouth to speak but the cop lifted his hand and slapped her across the face. White spots burst in her vision as her head whipped to the side. Another blow landed in almost the same spot and she cried out as she fell to the ground.

  “You stupid whore. Now he owns you,” the cop hissed as he pulled a pair of handcuff from his belt. He stood. “Shannon Bray, you have the right to remain silent…”

  His words blurred as a heavy fog settled in her head. What was Johnny doing to her? And how did the cop know her name? She moaned as the cold metal went around her wrist. The cop was right about one thing. Johnny owned her now.

  Things got even worse at the courthouse.

  “Ms. Bray, do you understand the charges against you?”

  Shannon looked around the room in fear. The judge stared back at her from his desk and the cop who had arrested her stood near the door with his arms crossed over his chest. He was blocking the door in case she tried to run, she realized.

  Wasted effort, she thought. With the shackles on her wrists and ankles she couldn’t get very far. For the thousandth time she wondered how she had ended up in this spot.

  After being arrested she had been sent to jail. She hadn’t even gotten a phone call, not that she had anyone to call.

  The guard in the jail merely shrugged when she’d asked when she could speak to an attorney. Days went by and then the door to her cell opened and the cop who arrested her stood there grinning at her.

  “Time to face the judge, sweetheart. Come on.”

  He took her by her upper arm and led her down a dimly lit hallway. Before taking her through another set of doors, he put a pair of shackles around her ankles.

  “You look so pretty in those,” the cop said as he tightened the ones on her wrist until they cut into her skin.

  She ignored him. Anything she said would be used against her. He led her through so many doors she lost count and then they finally stopped in front of one with the words JudgeHarris written on the outside in gold block letters. The cop knocked once and then stepped inside without being invited.

  The judge barely looked up from his papers as she walked in.

  “Ms. Bray, do you understand the charges?”

  She licked her lips nervously. “Your Honor, I would like an attorney. I—”

  “This isn’t some TV show, little girl. Do you understand the charges or not?” The judge peered at her over his glasses.

  “Yes I do.”

  “And how do you plead?”

  The cop muttered something under his breath but she couldn’t hear what he said. Her mind was working too slowly to process everything that was happening. Shouldn’t they be in a courtroom with a jury? Or at least other witnesses? And she was pretty sure she did have the right to an attorney.

  “Ms. Bray, don’t test me. How do you plead?”

  “Not guilty, Your Honor. I was set up. And the cop over there tried to proposition me—”

  Someone knocked on the door. The cop opened it and she watched in shock as Johnny walked in. He looked out of place in his white suit. White—as if he were the good guy there to save her. What a crock of shit. He sat down in a chair near the judge’s desk.

  “Sorry I’m late, Bill. Hope I didn’t miss anything.”

  The judge laughed. “No, we were just getting to the good part.” He turned his gaze to her and went on. “Shannon Bray, I find you guilty of one count of driving while intoxicated, one count of possession of illegal substances and one count of resisting arrest.”

  “What? No!”

  “You are hereby sentenced to a minimum of five years, which will be imposed at a later date, and a fine of fifty-thousand dollars.”

  Shannon’s knees gave out and she fell to the carpeted floor of the office. This couldn’t be happening to her. If she could somehow call her father, he would take care of everything for her. Even though he hated her, he wouldn’t let his only child go to jail.

  Johnny sighed. “Bill, that seems a little harsh to me. Maybe we should go lighter on her.”

  We? She blinked slowly. What in the fuck was going on?

  “What did you have in mind?”

  Johnny cracked his knuckles and she flinched at the sound. He always did that before he beat her up, a telltale sign of what was to come.

  “I’ll pay the fine for her but she will have to work for me until she pays it back.” He looked at her. “Every last cent. And since I am a business man, I am going to have to charge interest.”

  The judge nodded. “Sounds fair. What else?”

  “I can’t have an employee with a record like Shannon’s so let’s drop the charges.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well, keep the DWI. She needs it as a reminder.”

  Bile rose in her throat. That motherfucker knew she was going to AA and had been sober and substance-free for three weeks now!

  The judge looked at her. “Does this sound fair to you?”

  God she wanted to say no. She wanted to tell them both t
o fuck off. But the thought of going to jail scared her to the point of accepting.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “What?” Johnny leaned forward. “We can’t hear you.”

  “Yes,” she said, her voice echoing in the room.

  “Good. I knew you were a bright girl,” Johnny said with a grin. He stood and shook the judge’s hand. “Always a pleasure, Bill. Be sure to stop by the club.”

  The judge laughed. “VIP?”

  “Nothing but the best. I have some new merchandise you will want to try too.”

  The judge eyed her. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  Johnny motioned to the cop and the asshole came over and removed her shackles. Again she was looked over as if she were a piece of meat. She closed her eyes, wishing this was all just a dream.

  Johnny took her by the arm. “Come on, Shannon. We have a lot of work to do before the club opens tonight.”

  And the rest was history. No…not history. History would imply she had broken free from Johnny and wasn’t under his control anymore. If anything, she was under his power more than ever.

  She sighed. One day, she vowed, she would be free.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Dev jumped under the cold water of the shower and let it run down his body. The more he thought about his canceled fight, the madder he grew. He didn’t have many fights left in him so losing one hurt more than he cared to admit.

  He finished showering and got out, wrapping a towel around his waist as he walked into his room. Shannon sat on the floor with shoes around her. She looked as lost as he felt.

  “I think I need another bag,” she said with a sheepish grin.

  He reached down and picked up a high-heeled shoe that looked almost impossible to walk in.

  “I approve of these,” he said with a wink. “Call the front desk and have them send up a suitcase.”

  “You can do that?” she asked as she tried in vain to rearrange her shoes in her luggage.

  He grabbed a pair of boxers and slid them on before replying. “Sure you can. The hotel is more than willing to do anything they can charge you out of the ass for.”

  “Dev,” she protested, “I don’t want to do it if it’s going to cost a lot of money.”

  He shrugged. “The hotel is giving me a bonus check for my time spent here so we might as well use it.”

  Taking the money was a slap in the face when he hadn’t done anything, but the hotel and casino insisted. They were kissing his ass so he would return. Hell, if his opponents kept getting arrested, then he wouldn’t be back there any time soon.

  He grabbed the phone on the nightstand and called the front desk. “Yes, I need someone to purchase luggage and send it to my room ASAP. Yes, wheels are fine. No, whichever color you prefer. Ten minutes? That will be great. Thank you.” He hung up the phone and said, “There. Done.”

  She shook her head. “Must be nice.”

  “I am sure your father has done the same thing before. Well, maybe not a suitcase but something along those lines.”

  Though he lived in Tyler, Shannon’s father had done most of his work out of Dallas. And Dev knew he was well compensated for his expenses.

  This time she shrugged. “I wouldn’t know but it wouldn’t surprise me.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed. “So what happened to make you stay away? From what I remember you used to love it there.” He laughed bitterly. “Hell, you were the only one I knew who didn’t mind living there.”

  She looked down and replied softly, “Things were different after I got pregnant. You know that. I wasn’t welcomed the way I used to be.”

  Yeah, he knew that was true. He could still remember her holding onto his hand as if it were the only thing that could save her as they told her parents she was pregnant. Everything had changed in that moment.

  He shook his head. “Did Aunt Laura turn on you too?”

  Laura was probably the only person in Shannon’s family who had never judged him. She always had a kind word for him in a room filled with sharks. And she loved Shannon as if she were her own child.

  Shannon shook her head. “I wasn’t allowed to see her. I’m not even sure she knew for a while. Mother did everything in her power to keep it under wraps but when the receptionist at the clinic told the pastor…”

  Her voice trailed off and he knew why. When that bitch at the clinic told the pastor the whole town soon heard their secret. His old man had been surprisingly excited about the news, spouting off that Dev had “shown them all” by knocking up Shannon. When he announced he planned on marrying her, his father had warned him that her family would take care of the situation. Dev gritted his teeth as he looked away from Shannon. His father had been right and never missed a moment to rub it in.

  “Dev?”

  The question in Shannon’s voice forced him to look at her and he was sure she could see every emotion etched on his face.

  “Dev, you don’t know how sorry I am. For everything. If I had been a stronger person, I would have stood up to my parents.” She shook her head. “I would have stood up to my dad. I should have never let him bully me like that.”

  “It’s in the past. I don’t even think about it anymore.”

  What a fucking lie. He would burn in hell for telling it but she didn’t need to know the truth.

  She bit her lip. “I do. All the time. I wonder every single day what could have been.”

  Her admission made his chest hurt with emotions he had locked away. He turned so she couldn’t see the tears that were stinging his eyes.

  “It’s in the past,” he said again, glad his voice was clear.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned the past.”

  Hell, she was apologizing for something he had brought up.

  She wasn’t finished speaking though. “It’s just that you are probably the only person I can talk to about this. No one else would care and most people don’t even know.” She paused and her voice grew so soft he could barely hear her. “When people would bring kids into the diner I would wonder if that was what our baby would have looked like. As time went by I would start to look for kids who would be the same age. I couldn’t stop myself from playing such a cruel game.”

  He didn’t want to hear any of this. He didn’t want to think about a child she had murdered. He didn’t want her to know he had played the same game as she had for just as many years.

  “Shannon, you need to stop.” He turned to face her again and held her gaze. “It’s done and over with. You made sure of that when you went to Dallas to get the fucking abortion.”

  Her mouth opened but he silenced her with a single look. “No, this is my time to speak. I’m not saying these things to be cruel. I’m saying them because they are true. You are the one who wanted the abortion. Not me. Not your parents. In the end you were the one who chose the abortion.

  “The day you left with your parents, I kept telling my old man you wouldn’t go through with it. I knew in my gut you couldn’t do something like that. It took me maybe six hours to realize I was wrong.

  “Shannon, I was so hurt that you didn’t make your parents turn the car around and come back to me. And the more my old man laughed, the angrier I grew. I turned around and punched him so hard I thought I killed him for a minute.

  “When I realized he was okay, just unconscious, I ran into my room and grabbed whatever I could. You destroyed any reason for me to stay in that town and I didn’t want to stick around for any more punishment. Mom was upset of course, but I think she knew I had to go.”

  He paused and ignored the tears streaming down her face. “I got in my car and didn’t look back as I left Tyler. I had no idea where the fuck I was going but I didn’t care. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know I ended up in Dallas. I thought about trying to find you but it was too late.

  “By then I am sure the abortion was already done. And when I really thought about it like that…our baby was gone…I couldn’t take it. I
got back on the highway and drove until I needed gas. By then I was at the state line and saw the sign for Oklahoma City.

  “We had talked about settling down there after college and it was the only fucking place that came to mind. So I drove there and found a cheap motel. And then I cried all fucking night. Shannon, I cried until all I could do was lie there on the filthy mattress and dry heave.”

  “Dev…”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m not done. When I couldn’t cry anymore I was so angry. At you. At myself. At the fucking world.” He smiled sadly. “But like I said…it’s all in the past now and we need to keep it there. Who would have ever thought we would both be in Vegas together now after everything that happened between us.”

  Shannon stood and he could tell she was holding back tears. “I’m sorry you went through that but you weren’t the only one. I tried to find you after you left. I needed to talk to you…”

  “Shannon. Stop.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Stop before you say something that is going to fuck this up and make me hate you all over again.”

  Fresh tears fell from her eyes but he didn’t care.

  “I need to tell you something. Please let me talk.”

  He smiled at her and shook his head. “No, Shannon.”

  He patted her on the shoulder and walked out of the room. He needed a fucking drink. In the bar he ordered a beer and rubbed his temple to ease the headache. The bartender slid the beer his way and Dev went to a table in the corner where he could be alone. His thoughts drifted to his old man. Fucking bastard.

  The minute he walked into the house two hands grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the wall. White dots danced in his vision but he blinked them away. He needed to be ready for the next swing or kick. But nothing happened. Instead he realized his old man was laughing.

  “Son of a bitch, boy. You sure showed them!”

  “What are you talking about? Have you been drinking again?”

  A stupid question. His father’s breath reeked of alcohol to the point that it smelled sour. He never knew when to stop, which is why their walls were covered in holes from his fists. Of course Dev wasn’t completely innocent in that regard either.