Fighting for Desire

by Sarah Bale

  “Holy shit, Shan,” Dev said as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “How long have you wanted to try that?”

  She laughed. “I saw a porno once and thought it looked fun.”

  “Well any time you want to try something like that, give me a call.”

  “Even when the month is up?”

  Asking in post-orgasm bliss was risky but this may be the only time she would have the courage to do so. He stilled for a moment and her heart pounded.

  Finally he said, “Yeah. Even when the month is up.”

  “Do you really mean that?”

  “Yeah I do. I don’t think I’ll be ready to let you go after a month, Shan.”

  She blinked back tears and whispered, “Me either. But we still need to talk about things if we want to have any hope of making this work.”

  He nodded and pulled her close. “We will talk, I promise. Just let me get through this fight and then we can talk about everything.”

  “Even the baby?”

  Even with no guarantee that he would want to be with her after he knew everything, she had to try.

  He kissed her forehead again. “Yes. But I have to tell you, Shan… I don’t think you are going to like everything I have to say about the baby. I’ve held a lot of feelings inside and I’m worried when we start talking, I’ll lash out at you.”

  “I can accept that as long as you promise to hear me out first.”

  If he didn’t let her speak first, they would get into an argument. He was silent and she wondered what he was thinking.

  “Okay but I can’t promise not to get angry with you.”

  “Okay. Ugh, Marco probably hates being around us…we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.”

  Dev laughed. “I’m sure he doesn’t even notice.”

  She thought about Hugh’s words. Yes, Marco might not notice what was going on with them when he had his own problems to sort through.

  She rolled off the bed and grabbed her thong. She wished there was time to take a shower but she could already feel the plane descending. She slipped on her panties. Dev watched her with a smile.

  “What?” she asked as she picked up her shirt and bra from the floor.

  “Do you know how sexy that is?”

  “What is?”

  He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms.

  “Seeing you put your clothes on when our juices are still dripping down your leg.”

  “I don’t have time to shower…”

  He kissed her. “No, it’s hot, Shannon. Fucking sexy. As if I’ve marked my territory and you are mine.”

  “I was always yours, Dev. Even without the territorial marking,” she teased as she finished buttoning her blouse.

  He stared at her thoughtfully but didn’t say anything.

  She smiled. “Better get dressed. I’ll meet you up front.”

  Dev watched Shannon leave and rubbed his jaw. He was a little tender from letting her sit on his face but he didn’t mind. Hell, eating her out had been a fucking turn-on. She amazed him and he couldn’t get over this new Shannon.

  He sighed and put on his pants and shirt. He left the room and sat next to Shannon, who was reading a book.

  Frowning, Marco came and sat across from them. Dev knew his friend was pissed about Katie and Hugh not coming to the fight and Dev couldn’t blame Marco. Katie and Hugh were always backing out at the last minute but Marco put up with their fickleness.

  “I called ahead to the airport. Mrs. Ingram has the car waiting to take us to the house.”

  “Mrs. Ingram?” Shannon asked. “She’s here?”

  Dev nodded. “I have her fly out whenever I am staying at one of my houses.”

  Mrs. Ingram had been a faithful employee for nearly five years. She made each of his properties feel like home. He didn’t know what he would do without her.

  “I wonder if she brought Alice?”

  He laughed. “She did. Mrs. Ingram was afraid she would eat all the shoes in the house if she left her there alone.”

  Shannon laughed too. “I can understand her concern.”

  He wasn’t sure when the change had happened but he liked seeing her happy. Even in the short amount of time they had been together she looked more rested and less…haunted.

  He thought back to her question after they made love. Could he really bring himself to talk about the baby with her? Deep down he knew the answer. If they were going to make their relationship work, then the answer would have to be yes.

  Otherwise there would never be peace between them and he was tired of living without peace. He sighed softly. She deserved to tell him how she felt, just as he had done earlier. Time to stop running from his past or he would never be able to move on.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Shannon stared up at the house with her mouth hanging open. Even in the dark the sight amazed her.

  “Jesus, Dev, do you have to do everything on such a large scale?”

  Calling the house a log cabin was like calling a cougar a pussy cat. If she were to guess, she’d say there were three stories. The pine logs were sanded down so they were smooth to the touch. She inhaled and sighed in bliss. The wood even smelled good.

  “I like nice things, so sue me,” he replied with a grin. “Oh, the car I ordered for you will be dropped off in the morning.”

  “Car?”

  She remembered him saying he was going to buy her a car to use while she was with him and shook her head.

  “Dev, I don’t need a car. I can just use one of yours.”

  “I’m not going to argue with you, Shan. Just say thank you.”

  She sighed. “Thank you.”

  He opened the front door for her and led her into a massive foyer. She looked up in awe at the domed sunroof. Stars twinkled in the night sky above. Beautiful.

  The foyer led to a large living room. Keeping with the cabin style, all of the furniture was soft, brown leather. The focal point of the room belonged to a massive stone fireplace. A pile of logs blazed brightly, bringing warm relief from the chilly evening.

  “Wow. This is so much better than the house in Miami.”

  Dev laughed. “Just wait until you see the bedroom.”

  She shook her head and chuckled too. A loud barking made her turn toward the open kitchen. Mrs. Ingram walked toward them, carrying Alice.

  “I think she has missed you.”

  Shannon scooped Alice into her arms, letting the little dog lick her face. Alice’s little tail wagged furiously and she made whimpering sounds.

  “Did you miss me, baby? I missed you. Yes I did,” Shannon cooed. “Mama will never leave you alone like that again. No I won’t.”

  “I can’t believe you are talking to her as if she’s an infant,” Dev said, sounding slightly disgusted. “She’s a dog.”

  She laughed and held Alice up to Dev.

  “See those tears in her eyes? She did miss me and she’s not just a dog.”

  Dev squinted as he looked the little Chihuahua over.

  “I’ll be damned. She’s crying.”

  She held Alice to her chest again. “Chihuahuas are very emotional dogs. They attach themselves to one or two people and if they are separated from those people, they get upset. I’ve even heard stories of them dying of a broken heart.”

  Dev shook his head. “Damn, you should have told me that. You could have brought her to Vegas with us.”

  She grinned. Dev had always had a soft spot for animals. His traveling schedule probably made owning a pet too difficult but she was still surprised he didn’t have a dog or cat.

  She turned to Mrs. Ingram. “Thank you for taking such good care of her.”

  “My pleasure, dear. She’s really a sweet dog.”

  Dev snorted. “Come on, Shan. I want to show you the rest of the house. Mrs. Ingram can watch Alice a bit longer.”

  He held out his hand and she took it. She loved when he acted as if he cared for her but didn’t want to jinx an
ything by getting her hopes up. He led her through room after room and she fell more in love with the house.

  The library was bigger than the one in Miami. There was an indoor and outdoor pool. He told her he had a gym on the property as well, but she would have to wait until morning to take a tour.

  “I also have ATVs and four-wheelers here with over a hundred acres to explore.”

  “Oh my god, I haven’t been four-wheeling since I was a teen!”

  Dev grinned. “We’ll have to go in the morning then, before it gets too hot. There are some trails I think you’ll enjoy.”

  She nodded. “That sounds great.”

  He led her up the stairs. “Marco’s wing is that way. He has three rooms to himself, plus a kitchenette.”

  “What does he do with three rooms?” She shook her head. “Never mind. I probably don’t want to know.”

  “I think he uses one for an office, one for his own room and the other as a guestroom. And yes, you probably don’t want to know.”

  She laughed. “Which room am I staying in?”

  “My room.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Since she had her own room in Miami she assumed she would have one here as well.

  He cupped her face in his hands. “Is that okay with you? We shared one together in Vegas and it worked out well, I thought.”

  “No, it’s fine. Actually it’s more than fine. It’s great.”

  She reached up and brought his head lower for a kiss. Thing were changing between them…for the better.

  Dev pulled away. “Come on, I want to show you our room.”

  Our room. Her heart fluttered.

  He led her to the end of one of the hallways to a large oak door that had to be at least ten feet tall. A freaking giant could walk easily through the opening.

  She raised an eyebrow and he laughed.

  “You can take the boy out of Texas but you can’t take Texas out of the boy,” he said.

  “Right, because everything is bigger in Texas.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “Damn right everything is bigger…”

  She playfully punched his chest as he opened the door. He turned on the light and she stopped in awe. The room looked like a medieval castle. A fireplace made of the same stone as the one downstairs stood tall and menacing. Two full coats-of-armor guarded each side of the hearth.

  A door off to the side of the fireplace stood partially open and she guessed it probably led to the bathroom. The biggest bed she had ever seen sat along the wall surrounded by four curtains hanging on the canopy frame.

  “Jeez, Dev. Where did you find this thing?”

  The bed dwarfed him.

  “I had it custom built to match the canopy frame. I picked this up when I was in England. It belonged to a duke or something. Pretty cool, huh?”

  She chuckled. “Talk about putting notches in your bedpost.”

  “Not just notches,” Dev said with a smirk. “There are metal loops on the headboard for chains or cuffs.”

  “A kinky duke? I like it,” she replied.

  “English vices and such.”

  She walked up to the massive headboard. Sure enough, hidden behind the curtains were iron loops. Several of them.

  She touched one. “Why are there so many?”

  “My guess is either multiple loops for multiple people or multiple loops for multiple pleasures.”

  “Your guess?” She laughed. “Have you tried any of these theories?”

  His cheeks darkened and he looked away. Holy cow! He was embarrassed.

  “Dev?”

  “No, you’re the first person I’ve had stay here…with me.”

  Her stomach fluttered. “Do you want to test any of your theories?”

  His head snapped toward her. “Are you offering?”

  She bit her lip as she fingered the metal loop again. Could she allow Dev to chain her up? She met his eyes and nodded.

  “Yeah. I’m offering.”

  A sexy grin lit up his face. “Shannon, are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded and went to the door by the fireplace and walked through. She peeked in and saw the bathroom as well as the closet. He was bent over a chest, unlocking the lid with a key. Holy cow. What needed to be locked inside the chest?

  He straightened and came back into the bedroom, carrying a bag. Dev’s muscles bulged under the weight he held in his arms. He dropped the bag to the floor and chains clanked together.

  “Holy shit, Dev. Did you buy the kinky duke’s chains when you bought his bed?”

  Dev laughed deep in his chest. “Damn right I did. You can’t find quality craftsmanship like that anymore.”

  He unzipped the bag and held up a chain. For being over a hundred years old, the metal was in good shape with little rust. He lifted the chain higher and a metal cuff hung from the end. Desire flooded through her body and she shifted to hide her discomfort.

  Dev didn’t miss a beat. “It gets me hot every time I see them too.”

  He took the chain and walked to the headboard where he hooked it on, laying the cuff on the bed. Oh shit. An image of herself chained to the bed flashed through her mind and she felt flush with desire. He dug back into his bag and grabbed four more chains.

  “Why do you need five?” she asked.

  “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

  He hooked four of the chains so her limbs would be spread wide open. The last chain he hooked to a loop at the foot of the bed near the floor. What an odd place to want a chain.

  “Come here.”

  Her stomach fluttered. He used his commanding voice again, the one reserved for when he and Marco shared a woman. She took in a deep breath and walked over to his side.

  “Undress.”

  His voice left no question he’d just issued an order she was meant to follow.

  “Everything?”

  He snatched her wrist, causing her to jump.

  “I didn’t give you permission to speak, Shannon. Talk again and I’m going to spank you. Understand?”

  She nodded and he went on.

  “Now the game we are going to play might not be something you are used to. If at any point you want me to stop, I want you to say red. Understand?”

  She nodded again.

  “I want to hear you say the words, Shannon.”

  She bit her lip. “If I want you to stop, I will say red.”

  “Red means stop.” He let go of her wrist and kissed her on the forehead. “It’s called a safe word.”

  A safe word? Why in the fuck would she need a safe word?

  Dev chuckled. “I can see your thoughts dancing across your face but since you are a good girl I will answer your question for you. A safe word is something you can say and anything we are doing will stop. No questions.”

  She nodded, showing her understanding. But why couldn’t she just tell him to stop?

  He laughed again. “We use a safe word because sometimes you will be crying out ‘Dev, stop’, when you really mean, ‘Dev, keep on’. A safe word is also something that isn’t normally used in everyday conversation or during lovemaking. You would never cry out ‘red’, now would you?”

  She shook her head. Things were starting to make sense.

  “Now undress.”

  She unbuttoned her blouse and let it fall to the ground. Her skirt and thong were next. She left her bra for last and let it fall to the floor with a flick of her wrist.

  “Come here.”

  He motioned to the foot of the bed where he’d hooked the chain near the floor. She came to a stop next to him.

  “Hold out your left ankle.”

  Oh boy. She lifted her foot and held onto the bedpost for support. Dev closed the metal cuff around her ankle and she heard a soft click as it locked. Holy cow. She found herself literally chained to the bed now.

  “As you can see, you have enough length on the chain that you can move around a little. You can get on the bed if you want, or walk a few feet b
efore the chain halts you.”

  She nodded. That much was obvious.

  He chuckled and walked toward the door. She started to speak but he glanced over his shoulder at her and she closed her mouth.

  “Good girl,” he said. “I’ll be back in a while. You have my permission to sit on the bed or walk a little but that is all. No lying down. Understand?”

  She gritted her teeth and nodded stiffly. What in the hell had she gotten herself into?

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Dev finished the last of his beer with Marco. Since the fight was three weeks away he would allow himself a night of drinking.

  “Think she is going to be pissed at you?”

  He grinned. “I’d be shocked if she wasn’t.”

  He glanced at his watch. He’d left the room nearly two hours ago.

  “Do you think she will want to play when you get back in there?”

  He had been wondering the same thing. It would go one of two ways. Either she’d be so turned on by the time he got in there that she would be ready to go or she would be spitting mad and he would have to gird his loins when unlocking her shackle.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe I should have another beer before I go in there,” he replied with a laugh.

  Marco snorted. “I always knew you were a crazy son of a bitch, Dev, but this is dangerous even for you.”

  He rolled his eyes and stood. “Time for part two.”

  Marco lifted his beer in salute. “Good luck.”

  Dev took the stairs two at a time. He wondered how Shannon would react when he opened the door. Only one way to find out. He pushed the door open. She sat on the edge of the bed, her back stiff. He struggled to hold back a laugh. Oh yeah, she was pissed.

  He closed the door and locked it for good measure. No need to scar Mrs. Ingram if their little game ran longer than he anticipated.

  Shannon didn’t even move as he walked across the room.

  He stopped in front of her and said, “I give you permission to look at me.”

  She lifted her gaze upward but cut her eyes at him. He bit back a smile. Not being able to speak was killing her but the fact that she didn’t spoke volumes. She trusted him enough to let him be in control. Animalistic pride spread throughout his body. Fuck yeah.