Back to the Heart

by Sky Corgan

  “I won’t. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  “Take care, Ana.”

  And with that, it was confirmed. Ryan Black was Brennan Demars. He had been lying to Ana about his name, but had he been lying to her about his feelings? She had to at least try to go to him. If he did love her, what more of a betrayal was there than for her to not be there for him in his remaining days?

  But now came the complication of actually getting to see him. After checking into her hotel, Ana didn’t even bother calling the hospital. She was certain they had a policy in place not to disclose information about celebrities who were being treated. It was going to take a lot of footwork to get in to see Brennan.

  As soon as she got to the hospital, she went straight to intensive care. She’d been reading every news article she could find about the crash, and so far, there was nothing about his condition changing, so he had to still be in ICU. If he wasn’t, she’d search the entire hospital until she found him.

  As expected, everyone at the hospital was tight-lipped. She couldn’t even get a confirmation that Brennan Demars was in Mount Sinai. But Ana still had her trump card. She called Elias again, and he confirmed that Brennan was in ICU. When she begged him to come take her to him, though, Elias wasn’t budging.

  “You can’t see him, Ana, I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t understand. The only reason he was in that plane crash was because he was coming back to Texas to see me. If I don’t see him, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  “I can’t help you. The family is suffering right now, and they’re trying to get as much time with Brennan as they can. They’re not allowing visitors.”

  “Please, Elias, I’m begging you.”

  “I’m sorry, Ana, but the answer is no.”

  Ana pressed the End Call button such force that she thought she was going to crack the screen. If it wouldn’t have made her look so crazy, she might have even thrown it. What did I come all the way here for if I can’t even see him? Running off to New York like this hadn’t been her best idea. She’d been fueled by pain and emotion, and her family had gone along with it. They had supplied enough money to keep her there for a week. Afterward, she would have to return home, maybe having never seen Brennan at all.

  Frustrated, she sat on a bench in the hospital and cried for several minutes before pulling herself together with a pep talk. There was nothing else she could do but annoy the nurses until they either let her in or kicked her out of the hospital.

  Defeated, she left the hospital to go get something to eat and then returned to her hotel room for the night, determined to start anew the following day. It was hard calling Molly and Celia and telling them about her lack of progress, but Ana assured them she’d do everything in her power to make sure their money hadn’t gone to waste. Surprisingly, they were both sympathetic, especially her mother, who said that if Brennan did pass away, he’d be smiling down from heaven knowing how much she loved him and how far she’d gone to see him one last time. The sweet sentiment brought Ana to tears, and she spent the remainder of the night crying, wondering what she was going to do.

  The next day, she woke up bright and early and headed back to the hospital. Her luck was no better, though, so instead of begging to see Brennan, she asked for status updates, which the people at the hospital weren’t willing to give her either.

  If Ana had ever felt more despair in her entire life, she couldn’t remember a time. She was getting nowhere. Completely out of options, she sat in the waiting room with her head in her hands. Who was she kidding? They were never going to let her see him. She should just go home. This was a waste of time.

  Ana decided to appeal to the nurses one final time before giving up, going back to the hotel, and changing her flight to head home early. At least if she canceled the rest of the week, that would be less money out on a hotel room that she’d only be spending every night crying in. Ana could do that at home for free.

  She picked herself up and trudged over to the counter to tap on the window. She was quite sure the staff would be relieved when she left.

  As expected, the nurse wasn’t happy to see her. “I’ve already told you, Brennan Demars isn’t here.” She enunciated the last few words as if Ana was hard of hearing.

  “I know. You keep telling me that,” Ana replied wearily. “And I keep telling you that I know he is here. But that doesn’t matter anymore. Could you just tell him when he wakes up”—because Ana had to believe that he would wake up—“that Ana White came to visit him? He’ll know who I am.”

  “Ana White?” A masculine voice came from behind Ana, startling her. She turned to find an unfamiliar man standing there, dressed in a tailored suit. “Did you say your name was Ana White?”

  “I did.” She gave him a confused look.

  “And you’re here to see Brennan Demars?”

  “I am.” Ana wasn’t sure how much information to give away. She didn’t know if this man was paparazzi, and she definitely didn’t want to put any more stress on the hospital staff, or Brennan’s family, by letting unfavorables know that he was at Mount Sinai.

  The man’s face cracked into an unexpected smile, and he held his hand out. “My name is Matt Demars. I’m Brennan’s brother. He told me about you.”

  Relief flooded through Ana’s chest, and hope drenched her soul. This man didn’t look like he could possibly be related to Brennan, but she didn’t care. He was a lead. That was all that mattered.

  “You’re Brennan’s brother?” She repeated the words, a bit skeptical. Where Brennan was tall and lean, Matt was short and stocky. He had a long angular face, big blue eyes, and there was a crook in his nose that suggested it had once been broken. His short brown hair was thin and slicked forward. The two men couldn’t look any more dissimilar if they tried. “He told you about me?”

  “You’re the woman he was going to see in Texas, right?” Now he was the one who looked uncertain.

  “Yes. Brennan was staying with my mother and me on our ranch.”

  “I’m sad that we had to meet under such tragic circumstances, but I’m sure Brennan would be thrilled that you came to visit him.” Matt’s friendly expression waned. “Only family is allowed in to see him right now.”

  “That’s fine. I’m just happy to be talking to someone who can update me.” That wasn’t exactly true. Ana wanted to see him, but having a connection to his family was the next best thing.

  “Well, they got him stabilized, but they don’t think he’s going to wake up. The brain trauma was just too much. Still, we’re holding on to hope, for a while at least.” He looked down at the floor, and Ana could feel the weight in his words. For a while. How long was a while? “They’re getting ready to move him to long-term care, so your timing was good. Visiting restrictions won’t be as tight there. I can put your name on his visitors’ list.”

  “I would love that.” After all she’d been through to try to see Brennan, things were finally turning around.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  It felt surreal and a bit overwhelming meeting Brennan’s parents, especially given the circumstances. His mother and father greeted her with kindness when Matt introduced her as the woman Brennan had been staying with in Texas. It felt a bit like a lie. She was more than that, wasn’t she? Matt wouldn’t have put her on the visitors’ list if she wasn’t. But all that mattered was seeing Brennan.

  When Ana first laid eyes on him, she was blinded by tears. There was her Ryan lying in a hospital bed, covered in bandages, hooked up to so many machines that the room was a chorus of beeping.

  Matt stepped up beside her, looking solemn. “This probably isn’t how you wanted to see him.”

  Ana hadn’t realized that her hand was covering her mouth. Brennan looked worse than she could have imagined, with a bandage wrapped around his head, deep bruises under his eyes, and casts on both legs.

  She tried to speak, but only a small pained sound came out. To Ana’s surprise, Matt wrapped his arms around her, and she gav
e in to her own despair, sobbing against his suit jacket.

  “Come on.” He led her out of the room and down the hall.

  “I’m sorry,” she whimpered as soon as she got ahold of her nerves. “The hormones from the pregnancy. Everything. I just—”

  “Wasn’t expecting it to be that bad.”

  They stopped in the middle of the hall, and he turned to her, holding her at arm’s length as if he was ready to catch her should she collapse.

  “I’m just . . . I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

  “Don’t feel bad, our mother had a similar reaction the first time she saw him. It’s hard to hold yourself together. You don’t know what to expect when you walk in.”

  She had heard the crash had been bad. Nine people had died, and one hundred and eighty had been injured, including Brennan. Because he was in ICU, she’d known his injuries would be severe, but seeing him like that had slapped her with the reality that he might not pull through. Machines were the only thing keeping him breathing. Just thinking about it made her eyes water.

  “I wasn’t ready for that,” she admitted.

  “I’d like to say it’s not as bad as it looks.” Matt shoved his hands into his pockets. “He’s a fighter, though. They didn’t think he was going to live this long. He pulled through his surgery against all odds. Now we just have to wait and see if he wakes up.”

  “And if he doesn’t wake up? How long are you going to wait?” Ana feared the answer, and by the way Matt looked at her, she could tell she had reason to.

  “Let’s not think about that. He’s stable for now.” Matt turned, leading her toward the entrance of the hospital.

  “I feel like this is my fault. If I hadn’t begged him to come back, he might not have gotten onto that plane.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not your fault. No one could have predicted this would happen.” They walked through the automatic doors and stopped at the edge of the sidewalk. “Listen, you should probably go for the day. Get something to eat. Come back tomorrow when you’ve pulled yourself together. How long are you in town?”

  “A week.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  Ana dug in her purse and handed Matt a business card from the hotel she was staying at. “Room 101.”

  “I’ll call you if his condition changes.”

  “I’d appreciate that.” Ana glanced back at the hospital, at the white tile and walls that made the place look so sterile. It killed her to know that Brennan was inside, lost in some dreamlike state he’d likely never wake from. “Thank you for everything, Matt. I hope you don’t mind me coming here. I’d like to spend as much time with Brennan as I can before I go back to Texas.”

  Matt nodded approvingly.

  “And if Brennan does wake up, can you tell him I’m here and not to worry about anything?”

  “I will.” Matt placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before heading back inside.

  Ana cursed herself for falling apart. If she had held herself together, maybe Matt wouldn’t have rushed her out. He had waited until his parents had taken a break to go get something to eat before he brought Ana in to see Brennan, perhaps anticipating her reaction. It was probably the only time she’d get a chance to be alone with him, since the word was out to the rest of their family that Brennan was in long-term care and could now have more visitors. Within the coming days, their aunts and uncles and cousins would show up to pray for Brennan and give their condolences.

  And what would Ana do? Just be in the way. She wasn’t sure what she was more depressed over: the fact that her boyfriend was lying half dead in the hospital or the fact that she couldn’t get to him without feeling like a burden. Of course, his family needed to be with him, and that only made her feel worse. Did she even belong here? They’d only known each other for two weeks.

  She sulked as she went to a local deli to order a sandwich, one that she often went to when she worked in New York. She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn’t even notice a familiar figure walking up in line behind her.

  “Well, look who we have here.”

  Rick Fasken’s voice made a chill roll down Ana’s spine and the baby in her stomach kick.

  “Rick.”

  He looked like a predator who had just caught a rabbit in an open field.

  “I thought you might have made the pregnancy up, but it looks like you’re getting pretty ripe.” His eyes fell to her stomach, and a sneer played across his lips. Ana’s hands went to her stomach. “That was ballsy of you to file a defamation claim against me. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you, or the money to hire such a good attorney.”

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Rick.” Like the fact that she never would have stood up to him if it hadn’t been for Brennan. Now that Brennan was on the brink of death, she felt alone and vulnerable.

  “What are you doing in New York anyway? I thought you were back in Texas.”

  “That’s none of your business,” she snapped, turning around to face the counter.

  Rick leaned in to whisper into her ear. “You may have won the battle, but I’ll win the war. You can expect I’ll want a paternity test when the baby is born, and if it’s mine, full custody.”

  It took everything in her not to slap him. She stepped right up into his face, taking his intimidating stance and throwing it back at him.

  “You can fight me for custody, but you won’t win. Don’t think I won’t bring up the defamation case during the custody battle. What decent judge would hand a baby over to a sleazeball like you?” She shoved her finger into his chest. “Listen, Rick, you’re a smart guy. We both know that. The courts will favor me. And if I was able to get a lawyer like Elias Escobar to take the defamation case, just imagine who I’ll hire for the custody battle. Cut your losses, pay me what you owe me, and get the hell out of my life.”

  This was revenge. Rick was going to give her hell over custody for their child, not because he wanted it, but because he could afford to. He was going to bleed her dry for every penny she got from the defamation case, plus more. And even worse, he might win.

  Ana sat in her hotel room and cried, a mix of sorrow for Brennan and fear of things to come.

  The only saving grace was that it would be five more months before she gave birth, which meant she’d have plenty of time to figure things out. The courts would want her to show that she could support the child and give it a good home. That meant that as soon as she got back to Texas, she needed to start looking for a job—a full-time one. Even though she was living with her mother, she needed to show that she was at least attempting to make a life of her own.

  Ana lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to calm her breathing. There was just too much falling on her at once. The love of her life could die at any moment. She still had to deal with Rick to settle the defamation case. And in a few short months, she’d have to deal with him all over again in a custody battle.

  There was no point in dwelling on things in the future. What was most important was the here and now. Ana still had a little over half a week in New York, and so she decided to focus on Brennan. She pushed away her fears of being a burden and returned to the hospital, introducing herself to his family as they came to visit.

  “I’m Ana, a close friend of Brennan’s,” she’d tell them. Even if Brennan died and no one knew who she was, it didn’t matter, because he knew.

  Since Ana didn’t have anything better to do, she stuck around the hospital, visiting with Brennan’s family and learning all sorts of things about him. Even though he had never spoken about his real life with her, Ana felt like she was getting to know him through his family. They were tying all the loose ends together, making a map of his life, outlining what kind of man he was—every bit as wonderful as he had been on her mother’s ranch.

  The week pressed on toward the time when Ana was supposed to return home, and sadness filled her, knowi
ng that she wouldn’t be at the hospital when Brennan awoke—if he awoke. The day before her flight, she was sitting in the hospital room holding Brennan’s left hand while his mother clasped his right hand. For some reason, this seemed like a strange bonding experience between them. More often than not, when everyone else left for the day, they stayed and did this little ritual, sitting in silence.

  “Ana, can I talk to you for a minute?” Matt poked his head into the room, giving his mother a smile before nodding for Ana to join him in the hallway.

  “What’s up?” she asked as they stepped across the hall to a wall of windows looking out over a small courtyard.

  “Listen, I know your flight leaves tomorrow, but I was wondering if you wanted to stay a few more days.” He glanced back at the room.

  “I’d love to, but I can’t afford it.”

  “Don’t worry about the cost. I’ll pay for your room and your flight back.”

  “That’s awfully nice of you.” She hesitated.

  “You practically haven’t left the hospital since you got here. I know how Brennan felt about you. He told me over the phone. And seeing you at the hospital every day from morning to night, I know you feel the same for him too, so I think you should be here. Just two more days.”

  “Two more days. I think I can do that.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m sure Brennan does too. And I think Mom likes having you around. Knowing you’re sitting in there with her helps hold her together.”

  “Then I’ll stay.” She placed a hand on his shoulder for comfort briefly before returning to her post, sliding her hand into Brennan’s and holding it like she’d never let it go.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The next two days went on the same as the rest. Visitors coming and going. Relatives crying. Ana fighting to hold herself together in the midst of all the sorrow.

  Molly had briefly grumbled that the chores were piling up, but she’d relented. Ana felt bad, but the urgency in Matt’s voice kept her in place. Eventually, she would have to return to her normal life. She was long overdue for a doctor’s appointment, and it was past time for her to learn the gender of her baby. That would be the first thing on her agenda when she got home. A sonogram.