“Keep in mind I won’t drink much.” Thankfully she didn’t have to make the “I’m a lightweight” speech to cover for her strict drinking policy. Only two shots or two drinks and she could count on one hand the number of times she had broken it over the years.
“You don’t have to drink, boss. You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to on your birthday.” Clearly, Ashley wanted Hale to enjoy herself.
“I don’t think that you have to worry, you are nothing like your mama.” Jasmine patted Hale’s hand.
“I hope not.” Hale reached for another roll.
“Your mother was an addict, right?” Ashley had heard the rumors about Lydia Cameron.
“She had many problems. I think she was truly mentally ill. She thought the booze and pills helped her deal with her illness. Back then, everybody made allowances for her, so she got really bad before my dad did anything,” Hale answered matter of factly.
“I was afraid of her when I was a kid.” Jasmine told them quietly.
“On a good day, she would be out of control wanting to play with me, on a bad one, she would either stay in her room or get fed up with me, and the punishments began.” Hale shivered at the memory.
“Did you have a nanny? I know Maria wasn’t here when you were really little.” Ashley was so curious.
“Maria and her family came to town to help with the tomato harvest. Her husband was killed in a car accident. I was eight and Mom was doing one of her stints in detox, so Dad hired Maria to watch over me and handle the house. When my mom came home, things were good enough for a while and then she started using again. Maria tried to protect me from her.” Hale had spent many hours with Ashley and trusted her. It was time for the past to be shared.
“I don’t remember a time when my mom wasn’t a drunk.” Ashley stared at her plate. “I know what you mean about the manic episodes. It’s so scary.”
“She was manic the day she decided to wreck her car.” Hale pushed her plate away. “I didn’t want to go with her, but I couldn’t escape. I knew something was wrong when I got into the car. Then when she started talking and telling me her plan, she was super calm.” It was a shock, hearing her own voice describe that day. She still couldn’t understand how her mother could think it was for the best to kill them both.
“Do you still have the dreams?” Jasmine had finished eating and started to clear the table.
“I thought that I was done with them, but right after Dad died, I did. The whole thing—Lydia telling me what she planned, speeding up, the sound of glass breaking, the impact, and her screams.” Hale shivered, and played with her water glass. She took in a few deep breaths, counted as she held the air in her lungs. This was a coping mechanism learned after she’d left.
“Wow, I had heard that story, but I wasn’t sure if it was true.” Ashley looked torn between wanting to know more and not wanting to upset Hale.
“She left a note that said that she was ‘certain that I was going to turn out damaged like her, so she wanted us to die.’” Hale made sure that she met Ashley’s eyes. Ash needed to know that she could talk about this.
“It’s terrible that she was so sick and couldn’t get the right kind of help. Mental illness was still considered something to be ashamed of.” Jasmine started to run water in the sink.
“Dad found a therapist who could help me. I had a lot of problems dealing with my feelings of relief that she was dead. It was too much for me to comprehend.”
Jasmine spoke as she walked to her seat at the table. “I just know that when your mama was alive, I didn’t like to come to your house unless my mom was with me, and after Lydia’s passing, Maria made things nice. She would always have cookies and tried to teach us Spanish.” Jasmine smiled at the memory.
Ashley had opened the bottle of tequila and was pouring the first drinks. “Time for a toast.”
The ladies held their glasses.
“To surviving. We all have our battles and so far, so good.” Ashley pushed her glass to the center and clinked hers with Hale’s, before moving onto Jasmine’s. Hale followed and then gulped the liquid.
“Whoa!” Hale gasped. “It still burns.”
Ashley hurried to the refrigerator to pull out the bowl of limes, then returned to the island. “Here, suck on this. It should help.”
Hale took a bite of her lime. “Yeah, that’s better.” It had been a while since she had done shots of tequila. Now she remembered why; her throat still tingled.
“Ladies, I think it’s still too humid to sit outside on the porch. Where do you want to go? The formal living room or the den?” Jasmine had planned the night, so she was acting as hostess.
“The den,” Hale answered decisively. “I hate that formal area. I should do something about it.”
“You can’t do anything with it until after New Year’s Eve, remember the annual party.” Jasmine carried the bowl of limes and her glass.
“I’m getting a bottle of water, anybody else want one?” Hale walked to the refrigerator.
“Pussy,” Ashley called over her shoulder.
“Grab one for me, I’ll be a pussy too.” Jasmine’s laugh echoed down the hall.
Ashley sat on the floor by the large, glass-covered coffee table while the other ladies claimed each end of the sofa.
“So, are you going to throw a New Year’s Eve party?” Ashley asked as she played with the label on the tequila bottle.
“Dad told me that he wanted me to carry on the tradition. Maria is going to start working with the caterer and I’m going to go through past invitation lists.” This would be a huge undertaking, but it was important to honor her dad’s wishes and she had always enjoyed the celebration while growing up.
“You know that I’ll do anything to help.” Jasmine poked Hale with her foot.
“I know. After we get through your Fall Festival, we’ll get together to see what is what.” Hale stretched her legs out in front of her, placing them on the table.
Jasmine was staring at the huge floral arrangement on the side table. “That’s some grouping of roses over there. It looks three dozen.” She got up and started to walk to the table.
Hale glanced at Ashley and rolled her eyes.
“Anything you want to tell me about Major? The last I heard, you were done with him.” Jasmine gave Hale an accusing glance over her shoulder.
“Busted.” Ashley laughed.
Jasmine plucking the card from the plastic holder. “Oh look, he even added x’s and o’s.”
“All right, I said that I was done with him, but after your party he called.” Hale knew that she was in for it. Jasmine was going to unleash her disapproval.
“Like a hundred times,” Ashley interjected.
“He realized his mistakes and apologized. I had to accept. I mean, I’ve made my share of screw ups.” Hale’s voice trailed off and she knew that she looked guilty.
“Hale Cameron, I swear, Major’s persistence is going to have him moving into this house and your bed if you aren’t careful.” Jasmine shook the card at her.
“I don’t think he’ll be in my bed anytime soon. He doesn’t seem to be interested in me like that.” Hale shrugged her shoulders.
“You’re kidding, still?” Jasmine chuckled as she replaced the card.
“No, things are moving slowly, very slowly.” That wasn’t helping with keeping Finn out of her thoughts and fantasies.
Jasmine motioned for Ashley to resume her pouring duties. “Poor Hale, are your toys getting a workout?”
Hale smiled. “Yeah, but that’s nothing new.”
“I thought I saw some sparks between you and Finn the other night.” Jasmine slammed her shot.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Hale took a large sip from her glass but heat flooded her cheeks.
“Ooh, you and Mayor? You didn’t say anything about that.” Ashley pouted.
“Because there is nothing to say.” Hale scowled at Ashley, she still wasn’t ready to admit that she wa
nted Finn and she feared he wouldn’t say no.
“I’ll drop it because you want me to, but me thinks you might be lying.” Jasmine daintily put the lime to her lips.
“If those two are talking to one another then it’s on the down low because the calls don’t go through me when I’m here.” Ashley added helpfully. “So, that means he’s calling her at night when he knows that she is alone. Ooooh, pri-va-cy.” Ashley wiggled her eyebrows comically.
“Guys, stop it. I’m trying to get along with Finn. He doesn’t call me very much and when he does, it has to do with the town’s business. You make it sound so illicit.” Hale took another sip of her tequila and blinked rapidly, trying to combat the fire in her throat.
“He hasn’t said too much about you, to us,” Jasmine looked off into the distance as if she was trying to piece together a mystery. “You all seemed to be getting along at your birthday party. I mean, you seemed comfortable around each other.”
“It’s getting easier,” Hale admitted.
“You get jumpy when you know that you are going to see him. If you haven’t noticed, Moe always makes plans to take you to dinner before a Council Meeting. I think he’s worried that you might not show up if you have to go by yourself.” Ashley drank her shot and gasped. “The second one is always smoother.”
“Finn has done a really good job trying to make me feel welcome, and he always acts friendly in public. He’s just trying to help me find my place here.” Hale finished her drink. He was making her crazy. When he didn’t flirt or touch her, it bothered her, but when he did, it made her yearn for things that she shouldn’t.
“So, in public, Finn acts the perfect gentleman, but when the two of you are alone, it’s different. Like last time, he felt you up.” Jasmine enjoyed dropping that little bombshell, she couldn’t resist adding an evil smile.
“What?” Ashley screeched. “Did it happen again? Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?”
Hale shot Jasmine an exasperated look. “No not another time.”
“Not yet but there’s plenty of time for something to happen,” Jasmine flashed a sweet smile.
“I told you, it wasn’t a big deal.” Hale tried not to raise her voice. This was making her crazy.
“Bullshit. It shook you up. That moment and kiss meant something to you.” The blonde stared her friend down.
“What kind of kiss was it?” Ashley was dying for more info. She bounced up and down in excitement.
Hale threw her hands up and shook her head. “Jeeze, we were arguing. It was an angry kiss, I guess.”
“You two always had sexual chemistry—Finn couldn’t keep his hands off you. I’m not sure that it has gone away.” She gave Hale a measuring look.
“I bet he’s a good kisser.” Ashley kept staring at Hale. “Was there lots of tongue?”
“Finn always knew what he was doing,” Hale admitted, dropping her head. He was an incredible kisser.
“You said he was good in bed.” Jasmine nudged Hale with her foot. “I wonder if after all of these years you would still think so.”
Hale chuckled. “Well, I am more experienced now so, hmmm, I don’t know. I do know that I’m not planning to find out.” Not a chance. No, no, never.
“We’ll see.” Jasmine looked like she knew a secret and it was juicy.
Hale didn’t respond and hoped that would end the conversation. She didn’t deserve another chance with Finn. She had given up her chance at having true love when she had chosen to leave and fix herself.
“Men are too complicated, they claim that they are straight shooters, but they play games. That’s why I’m trying girls, it can’t be any worse.” Ashley played with the bowl of limes, turning it round and round.
“How’s that going?” Hale turned her attention to Ashley.
“Well, I mean dating sucks. But I can tell you all, that women can find my clit and they know what to do with it. They don’t poke at it like a doorbell.”
“That’s the worst. I’m to the point where I just tell the guy, ‘Here watch me, this is what I like’. Some catch on, but some don’t.” Her laughter came out low and throaty. Has to be the tequila loosening my tongue.
“Is it difficult starting over with every new lover? I would think that you would want to hurry through the preliminaries to get to it.” Jasmine shifted to sit Indian style on the sofa.
“Keep in mind that Jasmine has only been with Izzy. She has no idea about the joys of dating, or hooking up.” Hale smiled.
“Really? You’ve only had one guy? I would have thought when you were in college that the guys would have lined up to date you.” Ashley looked Jasmine up and down.
“I commuted to school. I lived at home until I got married,” Jasmine stated.
“Wow that is so old fashioned. Were you a virgin on your wedding night?” Ashley had risen to her knees, very curious.
“I can answer that,” Hale interjected. “No she was not. She waited until she was engaged. Our Jasmine is the last of the Good Girls.”
“Izzy was away at school most of our dating time, so we talked on the phone a lot. It wasn’t like we were living in the same town.” Jasmine explained. “It was what was expected of me, to give it up to my husband.”
“You moved in with Finn didn’t you?” Ashley turned to Hale.
“We weren’t living together officially, but when things were going good I stayed at his apartment.” Hale shifted on the sofa.
“You got lonely when he started work on the trial. Finn had been able to spend a lot of time with you before then, but he was working non-stop on that case,” Jasmine mused.
“Let me start at the beginning.” Hale recited the tale of the princess who ran away, repeating the salient details to a rapt Ashley.
“So, I gave up everything here and the relationship of a man that I loved so that I could repair what was broken within me. I chose to fix myself over staying for Finn’s love.” Hale finished the tale.
“Nothing new there, a man’s career coming first,” Ashley said.
“Finn was always honest about his ambition. I liked that about him, he had his shit together. He moved here and got what he wanted, like a badass in a tie.” Hale giggled as she thought about how good he looked in a suit.
“You were young, pretty, and rich. I can see why you were a bitch.” Ashley pointed to the bottle, asking if she wanted another shot.
Hale shook her head. “Almost everybody let me get away with it.”
“We didn’t know any better. I was wrapped up in my classes and Izzy. My folks kept me on a pretty short leash, I was going to marry Israel Benton and be happy. That was my job, my path. I remember you talking about how you wanted to change, but I didn’t get it.” Jasmine pointed at the bottle.
“So, you snuck out of town…” Ashley looked expectantly at Hale.
“I had talked to my dad about how I was feeling about myself. I did the research about where I could go and the final decision and timing were mine. Dad told me it was the hardest thing he ever did, letting me go. I’m glad he got to see me succeed.” Hale let out a sigh. “Dad had a good relationship with Finn. He got to see both of us grow up and have success.”
“So, did you know anyone in Florida? Is that why you moved there?” Ashley wanted the entire story.
“No, not a soul. I wanted to go somewhere that nobody knew me, where I could be anonymous. Back in high school, I’d visited the school and liked it, so I moved into a little apartment near the campus. Dad paid for my first year of school and rent. He also covered my bills with the therapist. I got a job at a call center and worked until classes started. I had decided that I wanted to be an accountant. I did well enough that I qualified for scholarships, so I decided that I would stay for my M.B.A. I did an internship with Cantor Hart, and they offered me a position before I graduated.”
“Izzy and I flew down and helped you move. That was fun. It was so hot that weekend. Remember?” Jasmine chuckled at that memory.
Hale sho
ok her head. “I thought we were all going to die. I don’t think I’ve ever been so hot in my life. I’d rented a truck and the air conditioner died, it was like ninety-eight degrees and poor Izzy, he drove that truck. He was almost cooked alive.”
“Hey, it’s what friends do.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders.
“So, I put in a lot of hours at work and started climbing the ladder.”
“What did you do exactly? I don’t know what a forensic accountant does.” Ashley looked at Jasmine, then poured another round.
“When I left, I was in charge of a team of five. What we did, basically, was go into a business and examine the books, the flow of business, and analyze their net worth. We could recreate the money’s movement. We were hired for lawsuits, purchases, or internal investigations.”
“It could get intense and you were gone for months.” Jasmine said.
“I think the longest stint was about a year in Knoxville. I liked the job, but when I got Miller, I stopped traveling so much.” The job could be stressful. She was always on the clock, trying to work quickly, but thoroughly.
“That was crazy. One day she up and calls me and says, ‘I’m going to buy a house tomorrow because I got a dog’.” Jasmine chuckled. “I told her, you can’t get a house in one day. Hale needed a yard for her dog so she found a house.”
“It worked out. That house was in a good neighborhood and the backyard had plenty of shade.” Plus, it showed her that she had no ties to Florida. During those years, she hadn’t allowed herself to love anyone or anything. Miller showed her that she could love and not have it end in ruin.
“So, in Tampa, did you date a lot, have a lot of friends? You don’t talk about that very much.” Ashley sipped her drink.
“I dated. I had a couple of relationships, but with all of the traveling it was hard.” Hale looked at the full glass of tequila in front of her and reached for the bottle of water. “I made the type of friends that I could pick up when I was home and that I wouldn’t miss that much when I was away.” She wasn’t sure that she was loveable. She’d worked through the damage from the years her mom had berated her, when her dad hadn’t defended her and the fear that she wasn’t worthy of a good man’s love. She had spent thousands on therapists but she still felt that small bit of doubt deep in her soul.
You Only (Cameron Farms Book 1) Page 11
