An Inconvenient Marriage

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “So you and Mr. Mitchell are serious about this marriage simply being a business arrangement?”

  She nodded. “Yes. Why would it be otherwise?” That was the only way anyone would marry her. Or he would have to be over half her age.

  “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Tim Blacksmith.”

  She smiled politely. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you live on this street?”

  “Yes. As a matter of fact, I live six houses down from you. I saw the play on Sunday evening and must say I was impressed with it. Children are adorable. Even if they get the lines wrong, they don’t care because they are too busy having fun. I often think that it would be nice to have children of my own someday, but I haven’t found a lady who is worth considering for marriage. I would like to marry someone who has a good heart for children.”

  She briefly noted that just as Henry pulled up to the house, Jake set his suitcase next to hers.

  “Would you like to have children someday?” he asked her.

  “To be honest, I never considered the possibility. When you’re a spinster, you don’t concern yourself with such matters,” she replied.

  “Well, you don’t necessarily have to go back to being a spinster after your six month business arrangement is completed. You have caught the attention of some respectable bachelors who realize what they have been missing.”

  “I seriously doubt that, but it’s kind of you to say.”

  “Mr. Blacksmith, it’s nice to see you on this fine winter day,” Jake quickly greeted.

  “The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Mitchell,” he replied. Turning back to Sue, he asked, “Did you receive the flowers I sent you?”

  “What flowers?” she wondered.

  Jake cleared his throat. “Oh look, Mr. Reynolds is eager to get going. We don’t want to be rude. He has to get back to his wife and children before dark. Come along, Sue. We don’t want to keep him waiting. Good day, Mr. Blacksmith.”

  The man nodded. “I will see you after New Year’s,” he told Sue. “Good day, Mr. Mitchell.” He continued his walk down the street.

  She shook her head. “The poor man has me confused with someone else. He never sent me flowers.” She handed Henry her suitcase.

  “What did he want?” Jake asked her as he followed her into the buggy. He sat across from her.

  “Oh, he just wanted to say hi and to say he enjoyed the play. There was nothing more to it than that.”

  “You just keep thinking that,” he muttered under his breath.

  “What?” She wasn’t sure she heard right.

  “I was saying that I hope he likes his new cat.”

  She decided that he probably did say that after all. She settled back into her seat.

  “Why didn’t you let me take your suitcase out for you?” he asked. “I don’t mind helping you out.”

  “I didn’t think you were coming.”

  “I told you I was.”

  “Yes, but that was days ago. I hadn’t heard you mention it since then. I figured you would like to spend the season resting from all the work you’ve been doing to get your bank started.”

  “I signed a contract with you promising to counsel your father and brothers on the proper management of money. I see this as the perfect opportunity to do that.”

  She grinned as they moved forward. “Do you do everything for business?”

  “I do most things for business, but I do allow myself some pleasure. Why do you think I’m going to spend a week on the farm? The counseling will only take a couple of hours. I’ll have the rest of my time to see what your family does out there, and it might give me some insight into how you turned out so bold and daring.”

  She chuckled. “Bold, yes. You can thank Jeremiah and Trevor for that. But daring?”

  “Any woman with the courage to marry a confirmed bachelor has her work cut out for her, especially with the way you won’t put up with anything that displeases you.”

  “It was either you or Mr. York. I didn’t really have much of a choice. But I am having fun in your presence, when you’re not throwing frilly dresses at me. I still can’t believe you did that.”

  He grew serious. “I won’t do anything like that ever again. I promise.”

  “I believe you.” She shook her head in amusement. “It took me and several other women a long time to get all those sequins off the floor. Next time I tear something up, I’m going to make sure it’s not going to cause a big mess.”

  He grinned. “That was a memorable moment.”

  “Would you really have undressed me to put another dress on?”

  “Only if that’s what you wanted,” he teased.

  She sighed as she looked at the houses they passed by. “I should warn you about my family. They are wonderful people who will do anything for anybody, but they like to joke around a lot. My parents, Patty and Gloria aren’t like that. They are more serious. But Jeremiah, Trevor, and Luke will most likely try to have fun messing with you. It’s harmless fun but I thought you should be warned.”

  “I think I can manage. I got a glimpse of what they’re like at the wedding.”

  “Well, more chaos is on the way.”

  “Tell me, were you enjoying yourself when they were giving you a hard time about being a shrew?”

  “At first, I was horrified because so many people were watching but I can’t stay serious around them for long. I nearly burst out laughing when Luke lost his mouse, but the look on your face sobered me up. I’m afraid after this week is over, you’ll never want to have anything to do with them or me again.”

  “I doubt that. I always enjoy a good comedy.”

  “That’s good. You’re going to need a sense of humor. Just keep in mind that what they do, they don’t mean you any harm. In fact, the more they like you, the more they’ll mess with you.”

  “I figured that much was true.”

  “I don’t think you’ll have any trouble winning them over. You’re actually good company.”

  “You are too,” he softly admitted.

  She turned her attention back to the scenery and enjoyed the rest of the trip.

  ***

  Sue woke up early the next morning, excited about getting outside and enjoying the freedom of riding a horse on the open land. The acreage was mostly cleared of trees but a forest and clean river passed within walking distance to the three bedroom home. Jeremiah and Gloria lived in a two bedroom cabin nearby. Her parents had one bedroom, Trevor and Luke shared a bedroom and Patty had her own bedroom. Sue was sleeping in Patty’s bedroom and Jake was sharing a bedroom with Trevor and Luke.

  She quickly put on a pair of dark brown slacks and a dark green and brown plaid shirt. Then she slipped on her brown boots and slipped on her old brown coat and gloves. She wanted to see the horses before anyone else woke up to open Christmas gifts. She quietly made her way to the barn and opened the door. She sighed when she saw the condition of the place. It needed repairing. She knew she could reinforce the stalls and shelves but there was no way she could repair the leaking roof. Then she remembered that she had money now and could hire someone to fix it. She smiled with relief. Money did have its advantages.

  “Hello there, Emma Lou,” she greeted her dead sister’s favorite horse which the family named after her. She hugged the horse and breathed in the comforting scent of being back home in the barn.

  The horse neighed in response. She chuckled and quickly made her rounds to greet the other three horses: Bossy which Jeremiah named after her, Trouble which she named after Jeremiah, and Double Trouble which she named after Trevor. They enjoyed the play on words for the horses. She supposed that two more horses would soon be added to the barn to accommodate Luke and Patty.

  She went back to Emma Lou and took the mare for a long ride through the fields. She passed by the cattle pen. She was happy to see that the cattle were thriving after the hail and tornado hit the farm that previous summer. She blinked in surprise when she saw that a pig pen had been erected, and three
pigs oinked for their morning meal.

  “I didn’t even know you were here,” she told them. “So don’t blame me if you’re hungry.”

  She returned Emma Lou to the barn and went into the house. She saw that everyone was up and had opened up their gifts.

  “Well, it’s about time you showed up,” Jeremiah said. “We made a bet on when you’d return and once again, you didn’t fail to wait until the gift exchange was done.”

  “I didn’t realize I was gone for so long. What time is it?” she asked.

  “It’s time for you to show more attention to your husband than to a horse. Poor Mr. Mitchell is all alone on the couch.”

  Luke, Patty, and Trevor sat next to Jake, squeezing him in the middle so he couldn’t move. She hid her laughter at the sight of him. He was out of place in his suit. Everyone else wore farm clothes. Jake had a lot to learn about being with her family.

  Her father and Jeremiah sat in the chairs across from the couch.

  “Where are Mother and Gloria?” Sue asked as she took off her hat and coat. She had pulled her hair back into a ponytail so it wouldn’t fly into her eyes during the ride.

  “They’re in the kitchen making breakfast,” her father replied. “Did you get a chance to ride Emma Lou?”

  “I did. She’s as graceful as ever.”

  “You can thank Trevor for that. He’s been working with all the horses.”

  “When did we get pigs?”

  “Oh, that was in October. We got them for a good price at the auction.”

  She noted that Jake rolled his eyes.

  He thinks Father should have put that money towards the mortgage. And he’s right. She was secretly relieved Jake would teach her family about handling finances.

  “We named the big, mean one Sue.” Trevor grinned. “She pushes all the other pigs aside when she wants to eat. We’re thinking she’ll be Christmas dinner next year.”

  “After all the garbage you’ll be feeding her, you’ll be doing her a favor.”

  “Oh, you love me and you know it.”

  “What names did you geniuses name the other two pigs?”

  “Luke named the male Hank, and no one knows why...”

  “He looks like Hank Williams,” Luke inserted. “Hank is my classmate. He’s big and fat.”

  “Does Hank know you named a pig after him?” she wondered.

  “Why do you think I got the black eye last month?” he responded.

  “Good for him. You needed to be taken down a notch,” she joked.

  “And I named the other girl pig Oinky,” Patty added.

  “That’s cute.”

  Jeremiah gagged. “Only a woman would say that.”

  “Hey, that’s good though, isn’t it? There’s hope for sis yet,” Trevor said.

  “Don’t listen to them, Patty,” she told her sister. “You do what you want to do. Don’t let these two bozos run your life for you.”

  “We already messed up with you. Do you think we’d repeat our mistakes? We treat her like a princess.” Trevor’s eyes were wide with sincerity.

  She ignored him as she headed for the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?” Jeremiah quickly asked.

  “I’m going to help Mother and Gloria cook Christmas dinner.”

  “Oh no you don’t!” Jeremiah and Trevor were so fast that she didn’t even see them jump in front of her. They turned her around. “We actually want to survive the day. Even picky pig Sue wouldn’t eat your cooking.”

  “I’m not that bad at it. Besides, how much damage can I do by just helping out?”

  “We don’t aim to find out.” Trevor pushed her until she sat next to Jake. “Usually, I’d say a woman’s place is in the kitchen but with you, your place is right here with us men and the children. Far away from any food preparation.”

  Jake was chuckling next to her.

  “I’m glad someone is finding amusement with the way I’m being treated.” She pretended to be upset but her smile betrayed her.

  “Have you tasted her cooking yet?” Trevor asked him.

  “Once. It was meatloaf,” Jake replied.

  Everyone but her father grimaced. Her father simply smiled warmly at her.

  “And that’s her best dish,” Trevor said. “Sis, you can’t be trying to push him away from you. You want to hold onto that one. What other chance are you ever going to get?”

  “You would be surprised, Trevor,” her father stated. “Sue’s got a lot going for her and men are taking notice. You remember that Billy Crayton from the house two farms over? He was asking about her the other day.”

  She shivered. “Billy was always a vile boy. He is worse than my cooking.”

  Trevor grinned. “What? You don’t want to be with someone who never takes a bath and thinks farting is a hobby?” He snapped his fingers and turned to Jeremiah. “We should fix him up with pig Sue! Then they can roll around in the mud together.”

  “He’s cleaned up his act,” her father argued.

  “No way are we letting someone who thinks a woman is an object marry our bossy, overbearing sister,” Jeremiah argued. “She may drive everyone insane but I couldn’t confine her to a life of misery.”

  “I’m just saying that she has options once she gets her annulment, that’s all.”

  “Can we stop talking about me as if I’m not here?” she insisted.

  “You’re right, sis,” Trevor said. “We all chipped in this Christmas and made you a gift that comes straight from the bottom of our hearts.” He handed her a present. “We know you love to read, so we made you a book.”

  “Really?” She was touched at their thoughtfulness.

  “It’s not what you’re thinking, Sue,” her father warned.

  Her eyes narrowed. “What are you siblings up to now?”

  Patty giggled.

  Luke nudged her in the side. “We worked a long time on this,” Luke said. “It was tougher than my homework to come up with my part.”

  “We spent day and night on this masterpiece ever since we got wind of your engagement.” Trevor motioned to the gift. “I even used my best pen and paper to write down what everyone said.”

  Acutely aware that everyone was watching her, she carefully unwrapped the green paper.

  “We were going to use lace but figured you’d destroy the book before you got a chance to read it,” Jeremiah said. “Do ya’ll remember how she was trying to tear the lace off of her dress? She practically had that poor seamstress in tears.”

  “I wasn’t that bad,” she argued.

  Her brothers rolled their eyes.

  “Anyway, I apologized to her and everything’s alright now,” she added.

  “That’s my girl.” Her father winked at her.

  “At least someone in this room appreciates me. Thank you, Father.” She finished unwrapping the gift and hid her laughter so she could feign indignation. “What is the meaning of this?” She held up the handwritten book titled “50 Ways to be Nice to Mr. Mitchell so he Won’t Drop You Like Yesterday’s Newspaper in Six Months.”

  “It’s your own ‘how-to-manual’ on your husband,” Trevor said. “You got a good thing going. Don’t blow it.” He shoved a protesting Patty aside and sat next to her. “I personally think we did a good job. Just look at some of these pointers. Number one: don’t cook. Number two: smile. Number three: say hello when you see him.”

  “That one is mine,” Luke proudly announced.

  “Number four: compliment him on something you like about him.”

  “I can read,” she inserted.

  “Let me see that.” Jake chuckled as he took the book from her.

  “Father’s part of it was boring,” Trevor said. “His was number twenty nine: let him see the real you. I almost didn’t include it.”

  “My girl is fine just the way she is,” her father said. “So what if she can’t cook or sew or clean well? She has other attributes that are just as important. It’s inner beauty that counts.”

&
nbsp; “I’m still in the room but thank you, Father.” She smiled at him.

  “Who’s ready to eat?” Gloria asked.

  “Gloria, your timing is impeccable,” Sue said, relieved to get the spotlight off of her.

  ***

  The next day passed with little event. Sue listened as Jake sat down and discussed how to effectively manage money. When he discussed business, he handled himself with confidence and professionalism, so it was easy for her to see why he attracted so many customers at the bank. She found that she enjoyed watching him work. He still wore a suit, but she noticed that he didn’t have his tie so tightly knotted around his collar. He seemed to enjoy watching her family’s good natured banters and even followed her and her siblings to the barn and the pig pen. She hid her laughter at his apprehension about being so close to dirt and animals. He was a true city boy at heart. On the farm, he was clearly out of his element but he maintained himself with a quiet dignity that impressed her. Though her family did like him and went out of their way to be nice to him, he was still an outsider to their world.

  At lunch on the fourth day of their visit, Jeremiah brought in the Rocky Mountain oysters so they could finish them up. “We have ten left,” he called out. “Who’s brave enough to help me eat them?”

  “Jeremiah, I told you not to bring those things here while Mr. Mitchell is staying here,” Gloria told her husband. “I made a good meal. You can’t be tainting it with that stuff.”

  “I’ve eaten oysters before,” Jake said. “It’s no big deal. I’ll eat some.”

  In that instant, Sue noted that the mood of her brothers switched from being nice to a new person to inclusion into their circle.

  Jeremiah set the bucket in front of him while Trevor pushed her aside so he could sit on his right and Luke hopped up on the chair to Jake’s left.

  “When did you eat them?” Jeremiah grinned as he sat across from him.

  “Last year in Paris was the last time I had some,” Jake said, looking startled that they were surrounding him and smiling. “I’ve had some in New York too. Really, it’s like eating caviar and frog legs.”

  “Uh huh.” He laughed. “Alright, city boy. Let’s see what you got. Gloria, bring Jake here a plate and some water.”