An Inconvenient Marriage

by Ruth Ann Nordin

  “Oh I ain’t tryin’ to upset ya. I is terribly sorra. I have a tendency to talk an’ talk an’ talk. I is like one big wheel.” Al moved his hand in circular motions. “I go round an’ round an’ around. Ova an’ ova an’ ova.”

  Meanwhile, Gerald handed Jeremy the gun.

  “Jist when I git done sayin’ one thang, another one of ‘em thoughts pops in me head an’ I gotta say what’s on me mind. It’s hard ta quit once I git a started,” Al continued.

  Gerald gave a thumbs up sign.

  Al patted Larry on the back again. “Ya sor has been a good ol’ sport. Much obliged ta make ya acquintance. Oh, the train stopped.” Al peered out the window. “Yep. This be the stop ta take alright. Hope ya gents have yoselves a nice little trip.” He grabbed Gerald by the collar and pulled him across Larry’s lap until he was in the aisle. “‘Member ya manners, son. Don’t go a touchin’ strangers. Ya cain’t tell where they’ve been.”

  “Yes, Pa.” Gerald followed Al off the train.

  Larry patted his suit jacket. “They took my wallet! And the gun.” He grabbed Jeremy’s arm and dragged him off the train.

  Jeremy knocked Larry aside and ran towards Al who was swinging a lasso. Larry lunged for Jeremy but Al threw the lasso which expertly fell around his wrist. Larry fell to the floor.

  Gloria and Patty, dressed as policemen, came out to arrest Larry.

  Trevor went to the center of the parlor. “It would work better if Al showed up on a horse and threw the lasso around the kidnapper’s ankles or waist but this is all we could manage inside a house.”

  “It was very well done,” Jake applauded.

  “Sue, that hurt,” Jeremiah said as he freed his wrist from the rope.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t know my own strength sometimes,” she sweetly apologized. “I suppose it’s because I’m so manly.” She wacked him on the head with the rope as she left the room.

  “That’s Sue for you. She doesn’t let anyone get away with insulting her. She’ll let you know exactly what you did to annoy her. Sometimes she makes me so proud.”

  “She does do an excellent job lassoing the cattle,” Trevor admitted. “She can lasso anything, no matter how fast it’s moving. One time, she lassoed me and Jeremiah by the ankles and had us hanging upside down for a half hour in the barn.”

  “Those were the good old days alright.”

  “What did you do to deserve such treatment?” Jake asked.

  “We put itching powder in her saddle. She and Bossy were hilarious out there in the fields.”

  They laughed at the memory.

  Jake hid his horror. He couldn’t imagine someone doing that to him. He did have to give Sue credit for not backing down when her brothers messed with her. No wonder she can be a nag. Did she have a choice? He also noted that they treated the other women in the household as women. It seemed that Sue got the rough treatment. It must be because she was the oldest child and had to do so many boyish chores on the farm. Her brothers obviously forgot that she is a woman. Well, I didn’t.

  Chapter Ten

  Sue had never been so humiliated in her entire life. It was one thing for Jeremiah to make all those subtle jokes while she and Jake were on the horse but it was another thing for him to keep making her feel like she wasn’t attractive as a woman. She was glad when he couldn’t eat the caviar. She enjoyed watching him squirm under Jake’s intense stare. Jake had a perfect poker face. No one could tell for sure what he was thinking if he didn’t want them to. It probably helped him succeed in business since he had to deal with some crummy people. She sighed as she got out of her costume for the play that Trevor wrote. She was glad to be out of those clothes. She bit her lower lip as she looked at the clothes she had packed. She brought a couple of dresses but had been so busy riding horses and helping with fixing parts of the barn her family hadn’t had time to get to yet, that she hadn’t bothered to wear a dress. Dresses weren’t practical on the farm, though Gloria managed to wear them. Gloria also stayed in the house and cooked and cleaned. Maybe I’m not a good catch for a man. Who wants a woman who knows more about fixing stable doors and riding a horse than cooking and cleaning?

  A soft knocking on the bedroom door interrupted her thoughts. “Just a minute.” She quickly threw on the pants and shirt she had been wearing earlier that day and opened the door.

  Gloria smiled at her. “Can I come in?”

  Sue nodded and led her into the room. “What is it?”

  Gloria shut the door. “How are you doing?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Was I that obvious?”

  “Only to the careful observer.” Gloria sat next to her on the bed. “I just spoke with Jeremiah about letting up on the jokes. He didn’t realize he was coming off so rough.”

  “I know. He means well. His jokes never bothered me before but with Jake here...” She sighed.

  “Jake did a good job defending you. I think he does like you. It may not be a romantic relationship but it seems that you two are forming a friendship. I like him for you. He’s a good man. And I have to admit, I have a lot of respect for anyone who can stand up to your brothers the way he did.”

  She laughed. “You should see him when he does business. He has a way with people.” She smiled. “How have you been doing? You’re due any day now.”

  “I’m hanging in there. I’m anxious to give birth so I know the baby is alright.”

  Sue nodded understandingly. Gloria had gone through three miscarriages and a stillbirth, so she spent most of this pregnancy worried. “Would you like me to pray for you?”

  “That would be nice,” she admitted. “I always feel better after you pray for me. It’s very comforting.”

  Sue held her hands and prayed that God would watch over her and her child and protect them. She wanted the baby to be born alive and well. After the stillbirth, she and Gloria had spent their times together crying over the loss of another baby. Gloria had handled the miscarriages well since her mother had gone through two of them before she gave birth to Gloria and her two siblings, but when Gloria suffered the stillbirth, she feared that she would never have a living child. “I know it’s wrong to envy Emma,” Gloria had cried on Sue’s shoulder one time, “but sometimes I tell God I would rather have a living child and die of pneumonia like Emma did than to keep losing children. I know it hurts Jeremiah too, though he does his best to be strong for me. I just feel so inadequate as a woman because I can’t give my husband a child.”

  Now as Sue looked at her, she noted that mixed in with her fears was a ray of hope. “I’m very thankful you made it as far as you have. I will continue to pray for you. Is the baby kicking well?”

  “The baby kicks all the time. It’s very reassuring. He’s kicking now. Would you like to feel him?”

  She nodded and let Gloria guide her hand to the part of her expanded belly where she felt a sharp kick. “He’s strong.” She grinned. “Have you picked out any names?”

  “We are going to name him Kevin if he’s a boy and Sarah if she’s a girl.”

  “Those are wonderful names. I hope you don’t mind if I’m excited for you. I have a feeling that everything will be fine.”

  “Deep down, I do too. I just hate to say it in case I jinx myself.”

  “Well, it’s your pregnancy. You can handle it any way you want to.”

  She looked at Sue thoughtfully. “I know it was wrong to lie about the mouse being in my cabin. I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, I’ll survive the rest of my visit. I don’t suppose Jeremiah and Trevor will let me go back to Patty’s bedroom?”

  “Not a chance. The more they get to know Jake, the more they’re determined to keep you and Jake together, and you know when they set their minds to something, they pursue it until the end.”

  “Unless it’s caviar.” She giggled. “But everyone has to understand that what Jake and I have is a business deal. It’s not meant to be more than that.”

  “I hope you’re wrong about that,” Gloria soft
ly confessed. “It would be nice to see you married. I worry that you may get lonely.”

  “I managed before without a husband and I can manage again. I have plenty of things to keep me busy. I don’t get lonely.”

  “Still, some companionship would be nice.”

  “I’m fine, Gloria. Just focus on yourself, alright?”

  She patted her hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re a good friend. I’m glad I got the chance to talk to you. With everything else that’s been going on, it’s been hard to find some time to sit and talk.”

  “I’m glad too.” She sighed. “I better get dinner ready. Are you going to head outside?”

  “Yes. If I dare enter the kitchen, Jeremiah and Trevor will haul me out to the barn and tie me up.”

  She laughed.

  “You think I’m joking but I’m not. They’ve done it before.”

  After Gloria left, Sue put on her boots and hat and headed out of the house. She heard some loud laughter from Jeremiah and Trevor. Uh oh. They must be giving Jake a hard time. She followed the sound of their laughter to the pig pen and saw her three brothers howling at the hilarious sight of Jake, wearing Jeremiah’s overalls and coat, trying to pour the pigs’ food into the trough in the pig pen without getting any snow, mud or slop on him. She hid her own grin. Jake was bravely handling the situation but she could tell that being around all the filth was disturbing him. He’ll be taking another bath tonight.

  “Watch out, Jake, here comes big, old, cranky Sue!” Jeremiah warned.

  At first, Sue thought they were talking about her but relaxed as soon as she saw the large sow run to the trough. The other two pigs followed her.

  “Hurry up and dump the slop before she runs you over!” Trevor yelled.

  Jake anxiously tried to dump the rest of the food into the trough without getting any on him.

  “He’s not going to make it!” Luke grinned excitedly.

  Pig Sue oinked impatiently at him and bumped into him. He lost his balance and fell into the mud and snow. The bucket of remaining slop fell to the ground and rolled away from him. He quickly rolled over to avoid getting trampled by the three pigs.

  Even Sue had trouble not laughing at the scene, but she felt sorry for Jake. She quickly went to the barn and hopped bareback on Trouble and ran the horse towards the three pranksters. She knew Trouble would knock them all into the pig pen, and they knew it too. Luke glanced over his shoulder and saw her speeding towards them on the horse.

  “Run!” Luke yelled.

  Her other two brothers looked over, and as soon as they saw her, they jumped into the pig pen to avoid getting run into by Trouble. She quickly pulled Trouble to a stop and grinned in satisfaction as Pig Sue ran up to the two troublemakers and stepped all over them to get to the remaining slop in the bucket that was right by them.

  “You just watch out, Sue. You’re next!” Jeremiah called out.

  “Ha! As if you can get me. I know all your tricks,” she retorted and nudged Trouble back to the barn.

  ***

  After the three men took baths, they joined everyone else for dinner.

  “I heard you taught your brothers a lesson in the pig pen today,” her father chuckled. “You were always good on a horse, whether riding one with a saddle or not.”

  “They had it coming,” she said. “I couldn’t let them get by with naming a pig after me.” That wasn’t why she really did it, but she didn’t want to embarrass Jake by reminding him of his earlier dirty condition. He had looked mortified to be covered in filth.

  “I don’t know,” Jeremiah said. “You and that pig are a lot alike. You like to run poor unsuspecting people over.”

  “That’s true. I’ll give you that. We don’t tolerate anyone misbehaving.”

  “We hope you can keep her in check, Jake.” Trevor grinned. “You’re our last hope.”

  “I kind of like her the way she is,” Jake began as he smiled at her, “full of passion and intensity.”

  She felt her cheeks go red.

  Jeremiah gave her a knowing look.

  She glared at him. Stop it! How long were her brothers going to keep up this ridiculous plan to keep him?

  “You know, I was wrong about Sue earlier today,” Jeremiah began.

  Sue frowned. Her brother was up to something and she didn’t like it.

  “I mean, anyone can tell she’s pretty, even when she’s wearing pants. Of course, Gloria is better.” He winked at his wife.

  “Jeremiah, that’s enough,” Gloria admonished. “If you say one more thing, I’ll take away your food and feed it to the pigs.”

  “It’s not right to mess with a man’s stomach.”

  “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, except in Sue’s case.” Trevor chuckled. “I have to hand it to you, sis. You can hold your own against us.”

  She was pleased by the unexpected compliment.

  “So, what are we doing tomorrow?” Luke asked.

  “We’re going to lasso some cattle up,” Jeremiah replied. “I’ve been practicing and I bet I can get more cattle lassoed than Sue. Are you up for the challenge?”

  She shrugged. “What’s in it for me?”

  She noticed Jake’s grin. His mind is always on business negotiations.

  “You can have my slice of pie tomorrow night,” he offered.

  She shrugged again. “You have to offer something I want.” She crossed her arms. “We already know you’re going to lose so I might as well get a good deal.”

  “What do you want?”

  “If I win, you have to eat the remaining caviar,” she said. “Still interested?”

  “How can that benefit you?”

  “I like to watch you squirm. It’ll be amusing.”

  “Just be glad she’s not making you eat her cooking. That’s ten times worse,” Trevor said.

  He thought it over.

  “Oh come on, if you’re so good at it, go for it,” Jake told him. “You can’t lead someone into a business deal and not follow through.”

  “Alright,” Jeremiah decided. “But if I win, you have to clean out the stalls.”

  “Done. Save your appetite for tomorrow because you’re going to lose.”

  Jake shook his head. “Jeremiah, if I were you, I’d learn to do a better job of not showing your fear in front of your opponent. Half the battle is in the mind.”

  “He’s right, Jeremiah,” Trevor admitted. “You got sweat running down your face.”

  “You all need to hush! I’m doing just fine,” Jeremiah snapped.

  “Ooh. We hit a nerve with that one.”

  “Who’s side are you on?”

  “Jake’s of course. Anyone who likes my work as much as he does is the one I root for.”

  Jake smiled in amusement. “It looks like I’m stealing your support.”

  “I don’t need support. I can do just fine by myself,” Jeremiah sulked.

  “Oh, you know we’re just playing with you,” Trevor said. “Really. Don’t get your underwear in a bunch.”

  Sue chuckled. She liked the fact that Jake could easily hold his own against her brothers. He was a good businessman indeed.

  ***

  Later that evening, Jeremiah found Sue alone in her temporary bedroom getting her things ready for the next day. “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  He stepped into the room and crossed his arms as he leaned against the dresser. “I want to apologize for those comments I made earlier today about you being just like a man. I didn’t realize it sounded bad until Gloria told me so.”

  She smiled. “I know you didn’t mean any harm in it. I got even with you when I forced you into the pig pen, so let’s say we’re even. Agreed?”

  “That’s the great thing about you, Sue. You don’t let anyone get away with misbehaving and you have the grace to be forgiving.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “That’s unusually nice of you to say.”

  H
e shrugged. “I have my moments.”

  “It’s nice when you do. But I enjoy our good-natured quarrels as much as you do. It makes coming home fun.”

  He grinned. “So tomorrow, we’ll meet in the barn and may the best person win.”

  She nodded. After he left, she got ready for bed. She opened the window and slipped under the covers and layers of blankets. I might as well do it myself before Jake does it for me. She closed her eyes. It had been a tiring day with riding Bossy into town and performing in Trevor’s play. She heard Jake enter the room and opened her eyes.

  “I hope my brothers didn’t scare you off.”

  He smoothed his pajamas and slipped into bed. “No way. It takes more than rolling in the mud to avoid a hungry pig on a rampage to disturb me.”

  “I have to admit that you impress me, Jake. I can see why you’re so good at your job.”

  He seemed pleased by her comment. “Never break a sweat.” He leaned up on his elbow. “Are you going to tell me what all this OKJ talk is about? I finally figured out it stands for ‘Operation Keep Jake’ but can’t understand what it means.”

  She sighed. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell him or not. He had a great sense of humor, so he might be alright with it. “Very well. After you ate the Rocky Mountain oysters, my brothers cornered me in the hallway and told me they want to keep you in the family. I told them that it wasn’t going to happen because we made a business deal.”

  “So that’s why we’re sharing a room together.” He chuckled. “I wondered about that.”

  “Sometimes, they don’t know when to stop.”

  “I should probably be appalled but I’m flattered they think so well of me to want me to stick around. I guess you can’t blame them for trying.”

  “They’ll have a hard time when May comes, but they’ll survive it.”

  He shook his head and laid down. “I’ll be rooting for you tomorrow.” He paused. “I heard you actually lassoed Jeremiah and Trevor and hung them upside down in the barn when they put itching powder in your saddle.”

  She laughed at the memory. “That was funny. Poor Bossy wouldn’t let me ride her for a month after that.”