Deirdre's True Desire

by Heather McCorkle

  She swayed a bit in the saddle as she rubbed her brow. Just in case, Deirdre steered her horse a little closer. Despite still being weak from heat exhaustion, her friend had insisted on riding with them. At least the borrowed wagon horse had a nice broad back that helped Sadie balance.

  “Easy there. Don’t fret on my account. You need only worry about building your strength back up.”

  Full, bright red lips turning upward, Sadie gripped the horse’s dun mane tighter. “A good meal and a soft bed and I’ll be right as rain, don’t you worry none,” she said.

  “And a nice glass of wine,” Cat piped in.

  “Or a bottle,” Deirdre said.

  Her friends fixed her with wide-eyed looks.

  “What? There’s three of us, and two with Irish constitutions,” she said.

  They fell into fits of laughter that lasted until they rounded a bend in the road and the inn came into full view. Grin full of mischief, Cat flung the end of her long reins at Deirdre, tapping her legs with them to get her attention. “Out with it, then. What’s this silly idea of yours?” she asked.

  Tucking an escaped curl behind her ear, Deirdre fixed her friend with a serious look. “’Tis a sound deduction, not silliness in the least.”

  A snorting noise came from Sadie, but she held her tongue. For now. Deirdre knew if she didn’t tell Cat, Sadie would.

  “Seriously! As young women, we are molded and prepared to marry for station and wealth. We go through years of classes on how to be a good wife and please a man of means. I did my duty to my family, I married a boring, old, wealthy man.” Her gaze dashed to Cat. “A good man, but boring nonetheless. Now it’s time for me. I want to fall hopelessly in love with a man who cares as much about me as he does his bank account or social standing.”

  “Here it comes,” Sadie broke in.

  Deirdre stuck her tongue out at her, causing Sadie to gasp, then giggle like a young lass.

  “I want a selfless man who loves life, is adventurous, a bit wild in and out of the bedroom—”

  “Deirdre!” Sadie cut in, her laughter taking all the admonishment out of her tone.

  “Well, I do.” Deirdre didn’t miss a beat. “And I don’t believe ’tis possible to find all that in a man of wealth, least none that I’ve ever met. This time I don’t have to marry for money, so I’m not going to,” she finished with a firm nod.

  Cat steered her big paint horse closer and leaned over. “I found a thoughtful, magnificent lover who turned out to be wealthy. Don’t limit yourself,” she whispered.

  Sadie gasped and Deirdre exclaimed in Gaelic. “You must tell us all about him! And we want every sordid detail!” Deirdre demanded.

  Every intention she had of teasing Cat slipped away as they rounded a bend and the barn before the inn came into sight. The shadows that cloaked the tall figure standing at the gate couldn’t conceal his identity. That muscular frame and knot of hair at the base of his neck were as unmistakable as the confident way in which he held himself. Offering them a deep bow, he opened the gate as they approached. His gaze caught Deirdre’s and didn’t let go. A slight breeze tugged at shorter bits of his hair, sending raven locks flying across his eyes, and still he didn’t break eye contact. Burgundy linen hugged his bulging arms while a black vest tailored to perfection framed his upper body. Only in the finest stables had she seen such a well-dressed stable hand.

  “Miss Catriona, Mrs. Quinn, and guests, welcome to the O’Leary Inn,” he said as he opened the gate wide. He nodded to the man driving the first wagon behind them. “You’re welcome to pull straight into the barn. There’s room at the back to park all three wagons side by side.”

  Deirdre smiled and nodded to him as she rode past.

  “Ladies, the stalls on the right are ready for your horses. Take your pick.”

  “Thank you, Kinan. ’Tis most kind of you to receive us at such a late hour,” Cat said.

  He led the way into the barn, pausing to take a lantern off the wall and light it. “No trouble at all,” he said.

  Cat didn’t hesitate to ride her horse straight into the stall. Many horses would balk at such a thing, particularly if their rider was even the slightest bit hesitant, which Cat usually was. Reining Ciaren in before the next stall, Deirdre marveled at her friend’s newfound fearlessness. The Cat that had left New York had lacked the confidence to be alpha to a horse. This Cat possessed enough to be alpha to an entire herd. Whatever had happened to her on the journey had been very good for her. Cat began to dismount on her own before Kinan got one step into her stall to assist. Polite words of refusal had him bowing and retreating.

  Surprise welled up in Deirdre. Most men would insist on helping and refuse to leave, considering it their gentlemanly duty to take care of a woman. Perhaps she was imagining virtues merely to augment that handsome face and body, but she didn’t think so. Even his most subtle characteristics held a depth and uniqueness that captivated her. Conveniently enough, her thoughts kept her distracted long enough that she remained in the saddle until Kinan stepped to her own stall door.

  Unlike Cat, she didn’t refuse him when he offered to help her down. She removed her leg from the sidesaddle bars, ensured her skirts were free, then placed her hands on Kinan’s shoulders. As she slid down, he grasped her waist and eased her descent. The warmth of his big hands seeped right through her dress and corset. Guilt probably should have reared within her over enjoying the touch of a handsome man who wasn’t courting her, but it didn’t. She and guilt weren’t often companions.

  “I’m glad to see you found your friends, and glad you’ve made your way back,” he said, leaning a bit closer and nearly whispering the last. His breath brushed the side of her face like a caress.

  She doubted he could see her blush in the dim light, which disappointed her a bit. She wanted him to know how he affected her. Looking up at him from beneath her long lashes, she said, “So, ’tis Kinan, then? My apologies for being in such a rush and not taking the time for proper introductions earlier. I regretted not catching your name.” She allowed the breathlessness his nearness caused to reflect in her voice.

  With him standing so close, she had to crane her neck back to meet his gaze. At nearly a head taller than her, he was a rarity in her experience. The warmth of his hands continued to scorch through her layers of clothing. She fervently wished the cloth would burn away so his skin could touch hers. If only…

  “Apologies are not necessary. Reuniting with one’s friends is far more important than a bit of propriety,” he said, the last no less breathy than her own voice had been as he leaned a touch closer.

  Wonderful chills coursed through her, making her shiver. He leaned closer still. Teeth pulling a corner of her bottom lip into her mouth, she suppressed a sigh. Gaze fixed on that lip, he reached above her. She released the lip and started to close her eyes a touch. Saints help her, but if he tried to kiss her right here, right now, she’d let him. Not even knowing that her friends were in the next stalls over bothered her. The allure of this man was too strong. The closer he came, the harder her heart beat. All the while, he held her gaze. Such boldness!

  His other arm rose above her as well. Was he going to press her right up against her horse? She wasn’t sure what shocked her more, the fact that he might, or the fact that she would welcome it. Even her boldness—legendary among the widows—had never carried her to such a place. The thrill the encounter caused made her wonder why not.

  Kinan’s arms descended around her. Instead of drawing her close, he tucked something around her shoulders. She reached up and touched the edge of her shawl. Damn. She had forgotten it was draped over her saddle. Fingers trailing down her arms, Kinan stepped back.

  “You looked as though you might be catching a chill,” he said through a crooked smile.

  She dipped her head. “That’s very kind of you.”

  Not to be outdone, she st
epped close, far closer than was acceptable, close enough that she could smell the lingering scent of soap on his skin. His eyes widened as she reached up past his head. Deft fingers worked at buckles, and with a slip and tug, she came away with Ciaren’s bridle. The surprised, and somewhat disappointed, look on Kinan’s face made her laugh aloud.

  “I think I shall enjoy getting to know you better, Kinan,” she said softly enough for his ears only.

  He stepped past her slowly, leaning down to whisper in her ear on his way. “And I you.”

  Air rushed out of the stall with him, leaving her good and truly chilled. Bumps rose all over her skin, traveling up to center around her breasts and turned her nipples so hard she gasped.

  Wagons rolled by outside the stall as Deirdre gathered her composure while removing Ciaren’s saddle. The moment she hung it over the stall door, Kinan swept past and picked it up. After the last wagon went by, she stepped out to look for a brush for her horse. The dim light of only two lanterns in the large barn revealed the door they had entered on one end, and the large space where the wagons had parked on the other. A moment later, Kinan emerged from a dark doorway midway down the barn. She started in that direction, figuring it likely led to the tack room.

  Before she could ask, Cat stepped out of the stall beside her and swayed on her feet. Deirdre rushed to her side, reaching her a moment after Sadie did. When Sadie draped an arm over her shoulders the two began to sway together.

  “Oh bollocks!” Deirdre cried as she grabbed one of each of their arms. “Steady there, lasses, I can’t catch you both.” With gentle redirection she leaned them both against the stall fronts.

  Sadie patted Cat’s hand where it rested on her arm. “I’m supposed to be the one swooning,” she said.

  Both she and Deirdre looked to Cat. Most of the blood had drained from her face, leaving her typically pale skin nearly the color of porcelain. Her eyelids kept rising and falling as if she couldn’t quite focus.

  Sadie gripped Cat’s hand. “Oh dear, Cat, are you all right?”

  A smile came slowly to Cat’s lips and she seemed to struggle with the effort to keep it there. “Quite so, ’tis just…”

  The soft patter of someone jogging up the dirt aisle cut off her words. A tall shadow came between them and the light from the lantern near the barn door. “Miss Catriona, are you and your companions all right?” came Kinan’s rich voice from right over Deirdre’s shoulder.

  Cat’s weak smile grew a bit bigger. “Aye, we’re just a bit weary from the day’s excitement is all.”

  He ducked between the two of them and offered each an elbow. “In that case, I shall escort you to your rooms straight away. You just leave the horses and wagons to our staff, we’ll take good care of them,” he said.

  Cat looped an arm through his. “Thank you, Kinan. That’s most kind.”

  Smiling, Sadie dipped her head, but didn’t accept his arm. “Thank you, but I’ll manage,” she said in a voice that shook a bit.

  “I insist,” Kinan pressed gently.

  Eyes filling with surprise, Sadie slowly accepted his arm. Too shocked for words, Deirdre could only smile as he started toward the door with her friends on each arm. It was one thing to be polite, but to treat the two women as equals was something that wasn’t done even in the north. This man was something special. And it didn’t hurt that he had a very nice posterior, which she watched as she followed.

  On the way out of the barn, she paused to bid their escorts a good evening and thanked them for doing such a good job of getting her and Sadie safely to California. Two of the younger ones blushed at her praise and the others thanked her for keeping a dull trip eventful. Laughing, she waved off their compliments and expressed her good wishes for each of them. Though they would stay the night as well, she knew many would leave come morning and she’d likely never see them again. A touch of nostalgia washed over her at that. Dull they may have been, but they were loyal, good men, and she would miss them. Kinan waited while she and Sadie said their farewells. To the men’s credit, they were just as gracious to Sadie. That could have a bit to do with her mothering them the entire trip. Their exchanges made Deirdre’s eyes mist over.

  When they finally stepped out into the dark, she was grateful for its concealment. She didn’t want Kinan to see her cry for fear he would think her a woman who couldn’t control her emotions. And the way he watched her from the corner of his eye made her very aware of the sting in her eyes. Dim light from the many windows of the house lit their way well enough across the grassy area between the house and barn.

  The door opened before they arrived. An older woman with a graying bun atop her head and a crisp white apron around her thick waist offered them smiles and bid them welcome as they entered. In a sweet voice, she offered to take their wraps and told them she’d bring dinner straight up to their rooms so they could relax. So taken was Deirdre by the house, that she could only nod or shake her head in answer. It was a charming, Victorian-style home with polished wooden floors and an enormous foyer framed by a huge staircase that split in two directions at the top. Lace curtains hung over the windows. Lovely plush furniture filled the nooks and crannies; chairs and couches in a sitting room to the left, a china cabinet along the wall to the right, and a slab of solid wood peeking from a corner of the kitchen. Such a home could almost make her forget it perched in the middle of nowhere out west.

  A tapestry of a tropical location at night with a dark blue sky full of bright stars overhead and exotic people with feathered headdresses and elaborate masks captivated her. She halted her steps halfway up the first staircase. It was the strangest, most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She could only begin to guess how long such a work of art, involving so many colors of thread, must have taken to complete. Enormous stones made up a pyramid that rose out of the jungle amid a few other stone buildings with carved statues all over them. The men in the tapestry wore nothing more than loincloths and masks, while the women’s breasts and apex were covered only by animal skins or furs. The exotic, wild feel of the people thrilled her. Her hand went to her bosom, partly out of shock, and partly out of excitement.

  A figure came into her peripheral vision on the stairs above her. Kinan, alone. Had she really been standing there long enough for him to escort her friends to their rooms and return?

  “I usually have that taken down for guests or events, but Miss Catriona said you ladies wouldn’t mind. I can take it down if it offends you,” he said, voice softening at the last.

  That allowed her to tear her eyes away to look at him as she shook her head. “No. Please don’t take it down. ’Tis a captivating work of art.”

  His eyes dropped, and the slow smile that came to his lips almost seemed shy. He came down two steps to stand right behind her. The warmth of his nearness burned at her back as he leaned over her shoulder and pointed to a remarkable depiction of a massive lizard sitting on a leaf.

  “A wonderful and generous description of it. See this iguana here? The tapestry is filled with little details like this,” he said, voice now filled with wonder. And was that pride? Such a thing made her wonder who had made the tapestry. Someone Kinan knew, perhaps?

  “An iguana, how fascinating,” she said, rolling the strange word around on her tongue. She leaned in to get a closer look—and to get closer to his arm. “I could look at this for hours.”

  The scents of soap and something a touch wild came off his skin. It made her realize how she must smell after such a journey. “Perhaps after I bathe,” she added.

  The warmth of Kinan withdrew. “Of course, how thoughtless of me, monopolizing your time when you’re no doubt exhausted from your travels. Come, I shall take you to your room,” he said as he offered her his elbow.

  With a smile and a nod, she looped her arm through his and basked in that warmth once again. “Not thoughtless at all. I’d gladly stand here for hours while you showed me the
wonders of this tapestry, but perhaps a bath, dinner, and a wee bit of sleep might be best first,” she said.

  An easy laugh spilled from him. So used to the calculated, fake chuckles of high-society men, this sound delighted her. This close, she realized his hair wasn’t just pulled back, but wrapped around itself to disguise its true length. It looked like black silk, making her wonder how it would feel in her fingers. She had to look away as her mind pictured what the rest of her body would be doing while her fingers buried themselves in his hair. They came to the landing and turned toward the right set of stairs all too soon for her liking.

  At the top of the short flight of stairs she spied a sitting room with plush couches, chairs, and a roaring fireplace before which Cat and Sadie reclined. To either side of the room, closed doors concealed what were no doubt their private rooms.

  “There is but one bathing room, but I’ve put tubs in each of your rooms for your convenience. We’ll begin bringing up warm water as soon as you’re ready,” Kinan said.

  Deirdre’s mind went to a wonderful place involving him and warm water. “That would be…heavenly,” she said through a sigh.

  The sparkle in Kinan’s eyes made her think he just might have a clue as to her thoughts. Just in case he had any doubts, she let him see the blush that heated her cheeks. His brows rose, as did one corner of his lips. Not a smidge of judgment or admonishment darkened his eyes. This intrigued her. Proper men of high society, even the ones who seemed like they might be a bit of fun, always looked down upon such unladylike flirtation. Such lack of judgment caressed her like a refreshing breeze. He stopped atop the second landing, a few feet before the arched opening to the sitting room.

  “In that case, we’ll begin heating the water straight away,” he said. He withdrew his arm from hers with a slowness that made his reluctance obvious.

  Feeling her friends’ gazes heavy upon her, she stepped away and curtsied. “Thank you most kindly, sir.”

  His head dipped in a bit of a bow. “I bid you a good evening, ladies,” he said, voice rising so Cat and Sadie could hear in the room beyond.