Deirdre's True Desire

by Heather McCorkle

  Sadie shot a glare at Cat. “Like I have much of a choice. The woman’s getting near as impossible as you,” she said with a touch of pride in her voice.

  Drawing a deep breath, Cat leaned against the wall. “You and Rick don’t let me do much more than spread mud, and very little of that. I’m fine, truly. ’Tis you I’m worried about, Deirdre.” She gave her a hard look. “Are you sure you want to stay the night here?”

  She thought she saw a twinkle of mischief in her friend’s eyes, but Cat was so good at hiding her emotions, it was hard to tell. With a lift of her chin, Deirdre indicated the large wooden table on which her bow and quiver sat. The table and four chairs were the only pieces of furniture in the entire house so far, other than the bed in the guest room. Those only existed because Kinan had insisted on bringing her some of the basic comforts this morning when she said she wouldn’t be leaving.

  “I have my bow. We’ll be watching for Ainsworth’s men, and if they show up, I won’t hesitate to shoot them.”

  Worrying her fingers around a loose curl, Sadie said, “I don’t like it.”

  Deirdre patted her shoulder with a muddy hand. “I know. But I’m not willing to leave my home unguarded any more than you are.”

  Big brown eyes narrowed at her. Sadie almost smiled as she brushed flecks of dried mud from her shoulders. “Yes, but Cat and I will have a half score of Rick’s workers guarding our homes with us. You’ll have only Kinan, Felipe, Henry, and Maria,” she said.

  “That’s all we need. Henry was a sharpshooter in the war, Felipe can bring down a deer at fifty paces, Kinan is as good with a bow as I am, and Maria can swing a rolling pin like you wouldn’t believe. I will be fine,” Deirdre said.

  Cat sighed as she pushed away from the wall. “Come, Sadie. You know you’re wasting your breath. Besides, she’s right, and we both know our Deirdre can handle herself.”

  She patted Deirdre’s arm. That’s when Deirdre became convinced. There was definitely a sparkle in her eye. Perhaps Cat and Rick had a bit of a rendezvous planned for the evening.

  “One of Rick’s best men will be checking the perimeter of each property all night. He’ll be on my painted horse. Don’t shoot him,” Cat added.

  The three of them started to walk toward the front door together.

  Sadie lagged behind with reluctant steps. “But what if one of Ainsworth’s men attacks him and steals his horse?” she asked.

  Cat rolled her eyes upward before fixing them on Deirdre. “If ’tisn’t a freeman, ’tisn’t Rick’s man. Then you can shoot him, but don’t shoot my horse. Is that satisfactory, Sadie?”

  Lips pursing, Sadie asked, “What if Ainsworth employs freemen?”

  Deirdre took her hand and all but pulled her across the huge, open foyer. “Trust me, he wouldn’t. The rumor around town is that the man fought for the South.”

  Cat opened the door and stepped out into the golden twilight onto the new porch—which was still covered, but now had a hard-baked dirt floor that would one day be flagstone. Sadie hesitated at the threshold. She wouldn’t let go of Deirdre’s hand. Her big eyes beseeched Deirdre. “We’ve made your bed up with plenty of blankets, filled the woodbox on the side porch, and,” she leaned in close and whispered, “there’s a loaded pistol under your bed, just in case.”

  Deirdre led her by the hand off the porch and out into the fading sunlight to stand beside Cat. “Stop fretting. I’ll be fine.”

  Grumbling to herself, Sadie made her way to the little cart she and Cat had taken to using as their main transportation. Cat took hold of Deirdre’s hand and squeezed tight. “Might as well tell the wind to stop blowing,” she said with a smile that slid slowly away. “But truly, Deirdre, stay safe, no matter what. I’m going to need you throughout this pregnancy.”

  Deirdre drew her in and hugged her as tight as she dared. “I’ll be there every step of the way, never fear. Keep an eye on Dylan for me, will you?” she asked.

  A twinge of guilt over not returning to check on him this evening bit at her. It would be the first time she hadn’t since work had begun anew on her home. Over the last week, he had become distant and distracted during her visits. Whenever she brought up progress on her house, he turned the conversation to travel, speaking of natives, wild animals, and the thrill of the open trail. Perhaps an evening alone was what he needed.

  As Cat climbed into the buckboard seat of the cart, Deirdre hovered close just in case.

  “O’ course. I won’t let him overdo it,” Cat promised.

  In her peripheral vision, Deirdre saw Kinan coming around the corner of the house, a load of wood in his arms.

  Cat thrust her head in the direction of the oak tree on the hill where a mounted man waited. “Come along, Sadie. Rick’s waiting.”

  Sadie wiggled the reins across the back of the single, dun-colored draft horse hitched to their cart and clucked her tongue at him. A huge smile spread across Cat’s face as they rode away. Whether it was for Rick, or another reason entirely, Deirdre couldn’t be sure. It could be the joy of rebuilding their homes, or the pregnancy. Regardless, Deirdre was glad to see her so happy. Both ladies waved as they pulled away.

  Kinan’s soft steps started on the hard-packed earth of the front porch. Deirdre rushed to open the door for him. He stepped aside and smiled at her as she passed. The bulge of his arms and taut muscles in his back stirred the burgeoning fire in her abdomen. For two weeks she had planned, worked, and laughed alongside him, all the while suppressing her desire. The work demanded she do so. Every day she awoke at the crack of dawn and worked until she rode back to Rick’s residence at night to check on Dylan.

  Now, finally, they had made enough progress that she didn’t dare leave her home. Now she could relax a little. The problem with that was, everything she’d been suppressing caught up with her. Dylan’s constant need for her presence had quickly become stifling. And, she had started to suspect much of it was an attempt on his part to keep her away from Kinan. She was glad to be free of worrying over him for one night.

  Beyond the foyer, in the main entertaining room, Kinan bent beneath the stone mantel to feed the fireplace. Deirdre took great pleasure in the view of his backside. Having him in her house, doing something so domestic, felt intimate and nice. It didn’t hurt that he filled out his yellow cotton shirt so nicely, or that it picked up the goldish flecks in his eyes. When he stood and turned to her, his gaze found hers in an instant, as if drawn to her. The look in his eyes pulled at something deep down inside her, something tied to muscles in her most intimate parts. He crossed the room to stand before her. She’d been staring the entire time, but so had he.

  “I regret that I don’t have a proper kitchen yet in which I can cook you a warm meal in return for guarding my home with me,” she said.

  The desire in his gaze turned to delight as he smiled. “I don’t, because if you did, it would complicate my surprise,” he said.

  She perked up with girlish excitement. “A surprise?”

  He fetched their cloaks from where they hung on the wall. “If you’re up for a short walk outside, that is,” he said.

  At her nod, he draped her cloak around her shoulders, donned his own, and offered her his arm. A pleasant breeze swept around her as they stepped out into the long shadows of dusk. She snugged her arm tighter around his, pulling him in against her side. Though it was warmer than it had been a few weeks ago by far, the weather felt brisk in comparison to the warm interior of her home. Any reason to snuggle up to Kinan was a good one.

  “Never fear, you’ll be warm soon,” he said in a low voice that moved over her in a tantalizing way.

  Did she dare hope he meant to pick up where they’d left off at the engagement party? He led her around the side of the house. The framework of what would once again be a wraparound covered porch stretched overhead. Peekaboo views of the orange and indigo sky flashed between the rema
ining support logs of the overhang. Such a lovely sight made her feel incredibly lucky that this was her home. While not a single part of this venture had turned out to be easy, moments like this made it worth it.

  In the short time it took them to walk around to the back of the house, the sun slipped below the horizon. The crackling of a fire, and yellow flames licking at the shadows of what would become a garden in the spring, made her throat tighten with panic for a moment. Slowly, the moment passed as her eyes adjusted and she realized what lay before her. At the end of a meandering flagstone path was a fire pit of stacked stones with a bench and a small table beside it. Fear turned to delight as Kinan led her there. The last time she’d been out here, the garden had been nothing but a muddy mess. The closer they got, the more the light of the fire revealed to her. Stones stacked here and there that she had at first thought to be raised planting beds, turned out to be something else entirely.

  Turning to take in all the stones, she realized they were a recreation of the Mayan observatory stones from the tapestry at the O’Leary homestead. She was sure of it.

  “Oh, Kinan,” she whispered.

  At her insistent tugging, he led her to the first stone. Some were stacked stones, but most were boulders so large they had to have taken a draft horse or two to move. Many rose up taller than she stood. The flagstone path wove through it all with purpose.

  Kinan pointed up. “Just like in the tapestry, these stones lay out the pathway of the stars. Over the top of this one you see Orion,” he explained, voice filled with boyish excitement. Hands on her shoulders, he turned her. “And through the gap between these two you can see Ursa Major.”

  He walked her around to each one, pointing out the different constellations that could be seen. Awestruck, she hung on his arm and his every word. She couldn’t believe he had done all this for her. For days she had been busy working on the interior walls with Cat and Sadie. All that time she thought he’d been working on the exterior.

  She must have gone quiet for a long time, because he withdrew his arm from hers and dipped his head.

  “It’s a Christmas gift, but if it’s too much for your back garden, I can move it, or remove it completely. I apologize. I should have—”

  She stopped his words with a kiss. As much as she wanted to keep kissing him, she kept it short and sweet because she had something to say. “You will do no such thing, Kinan O’Leary. It’s the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me. I love it exactly how ’tis.”

  Unable to resist, she took another stroll around, taking in the view of the stars from every vantage point. At the boulder pointing to Orion, the one as tall as she, Kinan rejoined her. He extended a wineglass with a delicate stem to her. She accepted it and raised it to her nose. The heady scent of red grapes mingled with undertones of cherries and cedar.

  Brows rising, she smiled. “Aged in cedar? What a refreshing idea. Is this Italian?”

  It tasted even more delicious than it smelled, having a nice, smooth finish that left the lingering taste of grapes instead of oak like so many did.

  “No, this is Henry’s concoction. His Italian grandparents left him with a love of the art of wine-making, and knowing how much I enjoy a particularly good wine, he does a barrel a year for the inn.”

  She took another drink, rolling it around on her tongue. “Henry and I shall have to talk.”

  Kinan extended an elbow, which she took readily. “Henry would like that. But for tonight, you’re all mine.” Possessive as the words themselves were, Kinan made them sound alluring with the hopeful tone he used.

  They walked back to the bench and sat down together. The scents of meat and various cheeses wafted up from the plates on the small table.

  Hope stirred to life inside her. “Does that mean Henry, Felipe, and Maria won’t be along?”

  The wineglass only half hid his smile as he lifted it. “Oh, they’re here, but they are camping in the aspens, keeping watch over the property. No one will disturb us tonight, if that’s still your wish.”

  Heat far greater than that of the nearby fire raged within her. She set her wineglass down amid the plates of food. The slick folds between her legs rubbed enticingly against one another as she turned to face him. Slowly, she slid her hand into his, trailing her fingers across his palm as she did so. A powerful shiver ran through Kinan and he closed his eyes for a moment.

  “I would love nothing more than to pick up where we left off,” she said.

  One of his hands slid to her waist, but it stopped there and went still. The look in his eyes turned serious. “I love your spontaneity and wild spirit, Deirdre. They are things we have in common, but things you bear so much more elegantly than I,” he said. His slightly open mouth and contemplative look told her he had more to say, so she held her tongue. He soon went on. “I also love that you are daring, independent, determined, and loyal to your friends.” Each word sent a warm pulse through her that only made her want him more.

  This time he paused so long she started to run her hand down his chest, letting her fingers catch on every button of his shirt. He sighed deeply, but didn’t go on.

  “Whatever are you getting at, Kinan?” she asked in a sultry tone, hand stopping at his belt.

  Desire deep enough to drown in filled his eyes once again as he looked at her.

  “My interest in you is far more than carnal. Should our coupling prove to be stimulating for you, what is it you may seek, should we be compatible?”

  Deirdre laughed. “Your mother must have been relentless in her pursuit of making you a gentleman.”

  Kinan shrugged one shoulder. “She was. I was terribly wild as a lad. She wanted society to accept me despite my mixed blood.”

  Deirdre started to work his belt out of its buckle. “Should you prove able to reclaim the spirit of that wild lad and put your gentlemanly manners aside when necessary, you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.”

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap. Laughing and squirming, she worked her way around until she straddled him, dress bunched up around her legs. Deep in his eyes lay something more than desire, something no man had possessed when he looked at her.

  “Why would I ever want to do that?” he teased.

  Head tilting to the side, she pretended to think long and hard, but truly it was impossible to do so, feeling his erection pressing against her opening. “Well, I’m opinionated, strong-willed, and am always sticking my nose in things considered man’s business.”

  He made a humming noise. “You can stick your nose in my business any time you like,” he said in a low, sultry voice.

  Suddenly she wanted to do just that, to taste him, to hold him in her mouth. His arms slid around her.

  “What do you envision your future holding, aside from stimulating carnal encounters?” he asked.

  Her answer came fast and easy, for it wasn’t one she had to think about. “A winery that produces barrels each year to supply the elite of New York, and maybe eventually enough to ship overseas, a husband who allows me to be who I am, and enough children to fill that house one day.”

  With each word, Kinan’s smile grew bigger. She was about to ask him what he found so amusing when he covered her lips with his. Their tongues engaged in a dance that needed no words. The warm, wet sensation of his mouth drew a little sigh from her. She explored the inside of his mouth, enjoying the flavor of wine that lingered there. Hard pressure pushed between her legs as his erection challenged the confines of his breeches. It made her wonder how big he was. From the feel of it, he was certainly larger than her late husband—though that would be an easy feat. Not that the size of his cock would matter to her, so long as he knew how to use it to its best advantage.

  Kinan’s large hands slid down over her buttocks, cupping them and giving them a gentle squeeze. The fervency of their kiss intensified, both of them working as if to devour each othe
r. After several moments, Deirdre drew back to breathe. But Kinan didn’t seem to need air. He kissed his way down her chin and to her cleavage, lips touching every bit of flesh her dress didn’t cover. All the while his fingers worked at the laces on the back of her dress. Once they loosened enough, he gathered it in his hands and slid it over her head.

  Aside from changing in camp on the trail, she had never been outside in only her corset and undergarments, and certainly never in the arms of a man in such a state. The impropriety of it invigorated her, even though it was really only her arms and shoulders that were truly bare. Kinan’s fingers got to work on her corset while his tongue licked at her cleavage.

  “Should we go inside? Someone might see us,” she asked in a breathy voice.

  Kinan drew back and looked at her. The firelight behind them gave off just enough light to reveal his heavy-lidded expression. “That is a possibility.” He lay a hand on her chest. “One that seems to make your heart beat faster.” That hand slid over to squeeze her left breast.

  A little moan slid from her as she pushed into his grasp.

  “But we can go in if you would like,” he said.

  Mischief sparkled in his eyes, and saints help her, but she loved it. Kisses worked back up her neck, over to her ear. Against it, he whispered, “What would you like, Deirdre?” The question thrilled her as much as his breath on her ear. It felt as though his hot breath reached all the way to her navel.

  She reached down between her legs and finished unbuckling his belt. She leaned down and whispered in his ear. “I want you to take me here, now.”

  Her reward was a shiver that traveled through his body. His erection pushed so hard against his breeches, she had trouble getting the buttons undone. Suddenly, she could breathe easier as the laces of her corset gave way beneath his fingers. She gave up her efforts on his breeches to lift her arms so he could pull her loose corset up over her head. The chilly evening air caressed her bare torso and breasts a moment before Kinan’s hands did. The heat from those hands was more than enough to warm her. His fingers worked back and forth over her hard nipples as his lips descended to hers again. She gasped into his mouth, unable to kiss him back and completely at his mercy.