Guarding Hearts (Living Again #3)

by L. L. Collins

  “What?”

  “Enough is enough. I’m setting the record straight. I’m not going to let them harass Ellis anymore.”

  Silence enveloped them as her parents looked at her, then at each other. “I don’t know,” her dad finally said.

  “Set it up,” she demanded. She was tired of always being bossed around. “If you don’t, I’ll do it myself.”

  Her dad narrowed his eyes. “Young lady, I don’t need you talking to me like that.”

  “Dad, I’m not trying to be disrespectful, I’m really not. But you have to start treating me like the adult I am. I love that both of you are involved in my career, I do. But you also have to let me be in charge of some things. This is my life here. And what’s happening with Ellis is happening because of me, so I need to set the record straight.”

  “You aren’t going to say anything about Gage, are you?”

  Sam looked away. “No. I want to do this to help Ellis, not for myself. Plus, it wouldn’t do any good to drag that out.”

  He looked relieved. “Okay. I’ll set it up for the next day or two.”

  “Better sooner than later,” she said, settling back against her seat. She had to try to make this right, no matter what she had to do.

  Sam signed in to her email, something she rarely had time to do anymore. She was humming the tune to the new song she had just written and was going to record before she went back on tour in two weeks. She was proud of it, and couldn’t wait to debut it at her first stop in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She would be gone for a month, traveling south from Tennessee, then out west to California before she made her way back. She would spend a good portion of this tour on her bus instead of in hotel rooms due to her tight schedule. She was looking forward to Lacey starting the tour with her, but she knew she would miss Ellis. It was funny how much the two weeks he was with her had changed everything.

  Her press conference was tomorrow, and every time she thought of it, her stomach clenched. It was something she had to do, because now this woman Ellis had a baby with was all over every news station, selling her story to the highest bidder. Apparently he had a son who was now thirteen. She felt for the child, wondering if the mother had even thought of him when she decided to come forward, especially when she finally saw pictures of this woman. She had probably been beautiful at one time, but she was crack-addict skinny, with blackened teeth, stringy, greasy hair, and her skin was marked with acne. The paparazzi were eating it up, of course, painting Ellis in a horrible light.

  Clicking on her messages, she saw a name she never thought she’d see in her inbox again. Gage Miller. Her hand shaking, she clicked the message. It had been four years since she had last laid eyes on him. The day that would be forever marked in her memory as the day the old Sam died and a new one was put in her place. One that was more scarred, more jaded.

  Sam,

  I hope this email finds you well. I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished this year. Your dreams are finally coming true. I know you have had a rough few weeks with the paparazzi, but I want you to know that I would never betray your trust. There’s a part of me that will always love you. We are bonded forever, no matter where we are. I wanted to know if it was okay if we talked on the phone, just to catch up. People asking me about you and wanting to do stories on us has made me realize how much I miss you. I understand that you have a lot going on, so if you don’t have time, I get it. I also see that this new guy you’re involved with is being put through the ringer in the press. I’m sorry that this is the price you have to pay to live your dream. No matter how many years have passed, I still care about you and want to see you happy.

  Call me if you can,

  Gage

  She stared at the phone number under his name for a few minutes, wondering what she should do. What did he want to talk to her about?

  Picking up her phone, she texted Lacey, needing advice before she decided to call him. She responded immediately, saying she thought it might be good closure for her to talk to him. That made her think of Ellis, and tears sprung to her eyes. She was going to make it right. Maybe then he would talk to her.

  Before she lost nerve, she typed in Gage’s number on her phone and pressed call. As it was ringing, a cold sweat broke out all over her. She was just about to hang up when his voice came over the line.

  “Hello?”

  Sam closed her eyes, his voice sending her back to a time she wanted to forget. He repeated it again while she tried to get her mouth to work.

  “Gage,” she finally said.

  “Sam? Is that you?”

  “I-I got your message,” she stammered. Why was he flustering her so much?

  “It’s been a long time, Sam,” he said softly, and her heart constricted.

  “Yes, it has. I was surprised to see your message.”

  “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. I just wasn’t sure what to say to you, or if you even wanted to hear from me. But after this whole debacle with these idiots splashing our names everywhere, I figured it was about time. What are they going to find out, Sam?”

  Ah, so that was why he was calling. “Nothing. What they’ve found out is all they will find. You know the rest was anonymous.”

  “Who’s to say that the lawyer or someone who knew the truth won’t come forward?”

  “None of them knew it was me, Gage. My dad made sure of that. You’re safe. No one is going to bother you.” She knew she sounded angry, because she was.

  Gage sighed. “Sam, I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about you. It was hard enough to do the first time. I don’t want you to have to relive it.”

  Her anger dissipated. “Thanks, Gage. I’m okay. I’m actually going to do a press conference tomorrow. Enough is enough.”

  “You’re an amazing woman. I’ve followed you this whole year, starting with you getting on that show. I’m so proud to have been part of your life.”

  Tears filled her eyes. After everything they had been through, he was proud of her. “Thanks, Gage. That means a lot.”

  “I know you’re busy, so I won’t keep you. But, I live in Baton Rouge and wanted you to know that I’ll be at your concert. I would really love to see you, but I understand if that isn’t a good idea.”

  She knew she could never tell her parents, but she wanted to see him. “Really? That’s fabulous, Gage. Of course I want to see you! Keep my number, and I’ll have Sean leave you a VIP ticket at the booth. You can come back stage after the show and we can catch up. Is anyone coming with you, girlfriend or anyone?”

  “No,” he answered quickly. “No girlfriend. And I saw Sean in some pictures of you lately. I also read what happened to Brian. That’s terrible. How’s he holding up?”

  “As well as he can. He’s not coming back to work yet, but he’ll be with us on my tour. I guess Sean is going to stay with me for a while too, until my next tour is over. He works for the Nashville PD, but I guess they are being pretty flexible with him. Lacey is also going to be with me in Baton Rouge, so you’ll get to see her, too.”

  “It’ll be a reunion!” he laughed. “I’m looking forward to it. Thanks for calling, Sam. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too,” she said. “Let’s keep in touch, okay?”

  She hung up the phone and stared at the screen. Talking to him was bringing forward all the emotions that she had worked so hard to push far away. She wished she could talk to Ellis. She realized she never even got any pictures of them while he was there. Laying back on her bed, she grabbed her guitar and started strumming the chords. For this song, she was going to play the guitar with Jason. She started singing, the words she wrote coming straight from her heart. She hadn’t made it through this song once yet without crying, so she was starting to wonder how in the world she was going to record it or sing it at her concert.

  Our time is coming. It’s all set. No one is going to have you but me, ever again. I won’t be foiled this time.

  He tapped his pen on his desk, pou
ring over the notes on the case he was working on for the thousandth time in the last hour. He couldn’t concentrate. Over the last few weeks, his life had gone to shit. First, he had had to deal with the fact that the world now knew he was a juvenile delinquent with a shitty childhood. Carl had been right, it didn’t affect his job at all, for which he was very grateful.

  Then, he had to see Mandy on the television almost daily, talking about his son and what he had done to get his parental rights revoked. When he had first seen her, his mouth had dropped open. She looked just like his mother had. Anger had coursed through his veins as he thought about his son growing up the way he had. And what did Mason think of all of this? Did he now know who he was? Did he want to find him?

  Ellis had retained an attorney to try to help him with getting in touch with Mason, but he wasn’t sure how far he would be able to go with it, seeing as how his rights had been terminated years ago. He couldn’t bear the thought of sitting by and letting Mason grow up with Mandy for one more minute. He had even called child welfare services in New York, but other than taking a report, there was nothing they would tell him. He felt completely helpless.

  On top of it all, he felt the loss of Sam like a missing limb. He had only known her for two weeks, but he felt so much regret about how he left things and all of the things he wanted to say. Carl thought he was in love with her, but he wasn’t even sure that was a feeling he would recognize. He missed her, and desperately. He fell asleep thinking of her, dreamed of her, and spent his day fighting with himself to not turn the television on just to see her face. She was still plastered on every magazine. There were still reporters that were camping outside his house and office, though Andrew wasn’t standing for any of it here. The local police had been wonderful.

  He knew she was doing a press conference in an hour. He was so nervous for what she was doing this for and what she was going to say. He was shocked that her dad was allowing it, but Sam had already started standing up for herself more before he left.

  He had also seen countless pictures of her with Sean, Brian’s son. He knew that Amelia had passed away recently and he’d seen the pictures of them from outside the funeral home as well. Sean’s hand was always on her back, and Ellis could see the look in his eyes. Sam might not see it, and may not reciprocate, but Sean was in love with her. They had been friends their entire life, and he knew that Sean had probably loved her for just as long. He would be better for her than he was. Sean was a good guy, a police officer, and wouldn’t bring any drama to her life. Ellis wouldn’t be surprised if he saw an announcement about them being a couple before long.

  He had talked to Devin a lot since returning, though he really didn’t have much choice. He found that talking to him and telling him the whole story made him feel a lot better. Now Carl wasn’t the only one that knew everything. He wished he had done it sooner.

  The only thing about telling Devin, though, was that he was now relentless on his insistence not only that Ellis figure out how to get his son, but that he go back and talk to Sam. As much as his very soul yearned to run back to her, he knew he just couldn’t. She’d still be seen as America’s Sweetheart if it wasn’t for him. She would never have to be putting herself out there doing a press conference to clear the air if he had never given into this desire to have her. He was toxic. He had known it his whole life, and that was why he had never been close to anyone.

  “Ten minutes,” Devin announced, flipping on the television in their office. Ellis narrowed his eyes at him, and he ignored him. “You’re watching the damn press conference, Ellis, because I know you’re dying to. You can sit there and pretend to be all macho guy, but it just isn’t working. Listen, I know. We’re these tough guys that see all kinds of crazy shit for a living. We aren’t supposed to be emotional. But, you know the story of Rachel and I and the years we wasted. Do you really want that to be you?”

  Ellis cringed. “Devin, you and Rachel are soul mates. Look at you two. You’re the perfect couple. I’ll never be that with someone.”

  Devin snorted. “I’m not even justifying that. You know what both of us went through while we were apart. Especially Rachel. It was fate that brought us back together, Ellis. There’s no explaining it otherwise. Just like it was fate that brought Sam here, needing extra security so she would meet you.”

  “I don’t believe in that shit,” Ellis growled, shoving his chair away from the desk. “It was fate that I ruined her life? That my son now knows that his father is a piece of shit that got all of his rights taken away?”

  “Ellis,” Devin said calmly. “You didn’t ruin her life. And yes, I do think it was fate. It’s possible that you could go get your son from a bad situation, save him from the path you were on before someone saved you. Have you ever thought of that?”

  Ellis stared at his friend, anger bubbling through his veins. He wasn’t mad at Devin. He was the only friend he had ever had. He was mad at himself. He wasn’t even sure which thing he was maddest about.

  “This is Lindsay Price from WKTV in Nashville, Tennessee, coming live from outside Silver Lining Productions, the label for Samantha Kerrigan. Samantha won Country Star last year, and her career has skyrocketed. Lately, though, her name has been riddled with controversy surrounding her bodyguard, Ellis Warner, a Florida police officer. He had been hired to do private security for her because of a stalker that was harassing her. It’s rumored that they became an item during this time, and some events surrounding the alleged stalker, transient Tanner Bauer, which brought a damning video to the public eye, followed by private information about said bodyguard. Samantha has called this press conference, backed by her manager and father, Samuel Kerrigan, and her label. We’re waiting on Samantha now. She’s created quite the buzz with calling this conference, so we wait to see what this is all about.”

  Ellis scanned the background, waiting to see her come out. He knew seeing her would be painful, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He could feel Devin watching him, but he said nothing. The door swung open, and Samantha emerged, flanked on either side by her father and what must be her label rep, who he had never seen. She looked stunning in a tasteful cream suit and heels, her hair up in a twist, and her makeup light.

  He sucked in a breath involuntarily as her eyes seemingly met his in the camera. He could feel Devin looking at him, but he couldn’t take his eyes from hers. The current that was always there when he looked at her was coursing through his veins. A pain shot through his heart, pulling one of the strings loose that was holding his broken heart together.

  Devin had the good sense not to say anything to him, because he was wound tight as a spring as he waited for her to start talking.

  She smiled her professional, cool smile, clearing her throat. “Good afternoon. Thank you all for being here today. I’m sure you all have heard the controversy surrounding me and my former bodyguard, Ellis Warner, and I’m here to put this to rest, once and for all.”

  Hearing his name roll off her tongue, that Southern accent making it sound like she said ‘Aiyl-is’, he couldn’t stop the warmth that crept throughout his body. He wanted her. He missed her.

  “The stories surrounding both of us are very upsetting to me, so I want to clear the air and set a few things straight. First of all, if you are someone that gets off on making other people miserable, shame on you. I know the almighty dollar is very tempting, but for you to try to take down someone that I care about just to make money is vile and disgusting.

  Throughout this, the real issue has been overshadowed by the video and gossip that has taken on a life of its own. The truth is, there was a sick guy who was stalking me. It started with flowers and jewelry that appeared in my dressing room when no one put them there, and escalated into sick notes, pictures, and a break in to my hotel room while I was touring in Florida. He’s the whole reason I had to add security to my team, and that’s where Ellis Warner came in. He’s a professional, the best in his field, and that’s why he was hired. While he was with me,
we spent 24/7 together. We’re both adults, and we made a mutual decision to start seeing each other.

  Even though that’s no one’s business, I have to address it, because that’s what the press has done. See, none of this would’ve been out at all if it wasn’t for the stalker that tried to ruin my life. The video that everyone is trying to ruin my career over? That was a private moment in my dressing room that was taped by a man who was out to get me, wanted me for himself. Yet no one seems to care that I was held at knifepoint in my dressing room by this individual and was saved by Ellis Warner and the rest of my security team. I wouldn’t be standing here right now if it wasn’t for him. This man that has been harassing me for months wouldn’t be in custody if it wasn’t for him. Mr. Warner has a past. So what. We all do. I’m not worried about what he did when he was sixteen or how he got where he is today, and you shouldn’t either. Find someone in this world that doesn’t have a backstory, including every one of you. Now you are paying his ex-girlfriend to talk about him and defame his son in front of the entire world? Shame on you. It needs to stop. Today.

  Another thing. The other man that you’re trying to get to do an interview with you? He was my high school boyfriend. He doesn’t have anything to say to any of you, so leave him alone.

  Every radio or television station that I see running this story from this moment on, will never get any press from me at any of my events. Same thing for magazines. If you are more worried about spreading gossip and hurting people, then I don’t want to be associated with you. My label and my management team will be keeping a close eye on every press source, so every one of you need to decide right now what your stand is on spreading hate. For that matter, every one of you owe an apology to Ellis Warner. He never did anything but save my life and show me what it’s like to care for someone unconditionally. One more thing,” she paused, wiping a spot under her eye. She swallowed, and he knew she was fighting breaking down. He wanted nothing more to get on a plane right now and swoop her off that podium and into his bedroom. God, he missed her.