Abundant Rain

by Vanessa Miller

  Tommy opened the door to his room. Cynda spotted the two queen-size beds and pounced on them. She jumped in the air doing straddles, like a tenth-grade cheerleader for the winning team.

  Tommy walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. “Have a seat,” he told Jasmine and Sam.

  Cynda left her high school days behind and climbed off the bed. “Let’s get this party started right.” She pulled out a bag of white heaven and poured its contents onto the table. She pulled a couple of small straws out of her purse. She squatted on the floor, lined up the coke, and inhaled. She lifted the straw to Tommy with raised eyebrows.

  A cokehead. Did he really want to deal with this mess tonight? What other options did he have? Tell the three of them goodnight and then turn on TBN and listen to Prophetess Juanita Bynum-Weeks put him in his place?

  Cocaine. Preacher. Cocaine. Preacher. He weighed his options as he took the straw out of Cynda’s hand.

  Jasmine and Sam joined the party too. Pretty soon the room buzzed like a swarm of bees looking for honey. The honey was on the table and it was all gone.

  Cynda stripped down to her baby-making suit. “Mm, mm, mm.” Isaac must have been smoking that stuff to let all them curves go. Tommy told Cynda as much.

  She just shrugged and asked, “Isaac who?”

  He was about to ask her why she was trying to lie to him, but then Jasmine and Sam got butt naked too. “Thank You, Jesus,” he muttered under his breath, then cursed loudly.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Cynda asked with pouty lips.

  “What? Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He put his drink down and consciously told himself to stop thinking about God and Jesus. They weren’t interested in helping him. And they certainly hadn’t gifted him with these three naked bodies on his bed. This act would secure his one-way ticket to hell, but he didn’t care. Maybe he should thank the devil for his plentiful bounty.

  A smile tweaked the creases of his full Mandingo lips. He walked toward the bed feeling as if he were in a Toyota commercial. Within minutes he would be kicking up his heels screaming, “Oh, what a feeling!”

  ***

  “Just tell me one thing,” Kenneth said, barging into Elizabeth’s room. He startled her. She dropped the towel she was trying to wrap around her body as she walked out of her bathroom. Kenneth let out a stunned gasp and put his left hand over the scars on his face.

  “Why do you do that?” Elizabeth asked, picking up her towel and knotting it above her bosom.

  “Do what?”

  She walked over to him and pulled his hand away from his face. “Why do you put your hand over your scars?” She put her finger on his face and traced the lines of his scars. “Whenever I look at you, you cover your face.”

  He stepped away. Her hand fell. “I do not.”

  She raised her hand and gently stroked his face again. “Don’t you know that this doesn’t matter to me? The love I have for you is sealed deep in my heart. A few scratches won’t change it.”

  He grabbed her arms and shoved her away. “It’s more than a few scratches. Don’t patronize me!”

  She stumbled, grabbing hold of her four-poster bed. “Kenneth, what is your-”

  “Stop it.” He pointed an accusatory finger in her face. “Don’t you stand there and tell me how much you love me, when you tried to kill yourself over Tommy Brooks.”

  “I did not.”

  “Stop lying! It was all over the news.” Elizabeth sat down on her bed as Kenneth continued his diatribe. “Some homecoming, huh? Can’t you just see the headlines?” He put his hand in the air like he was capturing each word. “Husband returns home to find wife in love with another man.”

  “Kenneth, you’re not being fair.”

  “How fair were you when you sold my business? You didn’t even wait a good four months before you ran off with your manager. Good grief Liz. How can you call that love?”

  “For the last time, Kenneth, I had a nervous breakdown after you disappeared. It was either sell your business and start my singing career or go completely crazy.”

  “All right, I can understand that. You needed to sell my business to help support my children and your new career – but I can’t understand, nor forgive you, for falling in love with someone before my body was even cold.”

  Elizabeth flung her hands in the air. She slowly pulled each word through her teeth. “I am not in love with Tommy.”

  “Yeah, that’s why you ran out of this house like the roof was on fire. Got to go rescue Tommy,” he taunted.

  Lord, when will I stop paying? She adored Kenneth, loved him with a passion. Only one thing had changed since he’d returned to her; he no longer owned her heart and soul. Oh, she’d gladly give him her heart – but her soul finally belonged to God, and she wasn’t going to take it back. Not again, not ever again.

  “I bailed Tommy out of jail because he is a friend of mine. I would have done the same thing for Nina if she had been in trouble.” She stood and walked toward her husband. “I’m in love with you, Kenneth. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.” She put her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her. “Let me show you what it was like between us.” Her lips brushed against his. Her eyes implored him to give her what she wanted.

  He inhaled her scent. “Mmh,” he said as he put his arms around her and leaned into his wife. Opening his mouth to claim hers felt like coming home. There was nothing spiritual about this kiss. It was carnal. Flesh touching flesh and flesh begging for more.

  He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. He was trapped, but the honey was in the trap with him. “You make me want to remember.”

  “Aw, baby.” She covered his face with wet smoldering kisses and pulled him toward the sanctuary of their bed. “Come with me. We’ll make new memories together.”

  Elizabeth untied her towel and let it fall to the ground.

  ***

  Tommy woke with a headache. He grabbed his head and reached for Cynda. He would have her get up and find him some aspirin. Cynda wasn’t in bed. He lifted his head off the pillow and glanced around his hotel room. Empty.

  He held onto his head and got out of bed. He looked around the room for his briefcase. It was on the floor next to the door. He really needed those aspirin now. His briefcase was empty. He shook his head. The trick had gotten tricked. What’s new about this story?

  He kicked the briefcase against the door and pounded his fists in the wall. He had a couple hundred in his wallet and about tripped over his feet getting to his pants. He picked them off the floor and examined his wallet. Cynda left no stone unturned. She had taken every cent. She didn’t even have enough mercy to leave him bus fare home. Sure he lived in Atlanta, but this casino was more than an hour away. “That mud-duck. No wonder Isaac dumped her.” He wanted to dump her too. If he ever ran into that trick again, he would put his foot in her whoring behind.

  He threw his pants down, walked to the bar and poured himself a drink. He gulped it down, then looked toward heaven. “I needed that money. Why are You always against me?”

  Now he wanted to talk to God.

  21

  Kenneth grabbed a jar of peanut butter and smeared it on a couple slices of day old white bread. He passed his handy work on to Emma, the retiree who faithfully gave of her time at the Hope Center. Right now she was on jelly duty. Later, she and Kenneth would help make vegetable soup.

  Yeah, okay. He decided to take Clarence up on his offer. With this slow economy, it wasn’t as if he were doing anything else. And besides, he had talked to his pastor about the thought of helping the homeless. Pastor Lewis seemed to think it was a good idea.

  The toothless woman from the park was standing in his line. Kenneth smiled at her and double swiped the peanut butter on one of the sandwiches. That was how Jamal, her youngest son, liked his sandwich. “How’s it going today, Sandy?”

  “Not bad. My mom agreed to take me and the kids in until I deliver this one.” She rubbed her huge stomach. “Th
anks for calling her.”

  “After you have the baby, come find me. Okay? I’m sure we can get you a job somewhere.”

  A tear creased her eyes. “Thanks, Kenneth. You’re all right.”

  When he was finished with his work, Kenneth sat on the steps and talked with a few of the men. He brought several Bibles that he purchased at the Christian bookstore on Peachtree. He passed them out and told the men that they could talk to him anytime and ask anything they wanted.

  One of the men put his hand up, shielding himself from the Bible. “No thanks, man. I don’t want no parts of the Bible.”

  Kenneth pulled the Bible back and put it on the step next to him. “No problem. Do you mind my asking why you’re so against reading God’s Word?”

  “Naw, I don’t mind.” He opened his mouth to tell a story that made Kenneth want to crawl all the way home and suck the toe jam from Liz’s feet. He’d even hand her another of his mother’s vases, and cheer her on as she broke it.

  Tyrone said that he had been married to one of them Bible-toting, long-dress-wearing sanctified sisters of the most holy church of God. “She preached hell and brimstone around my house all day long. Told me, if I didn’t straighten up, that God was going to get me. I got tired of her telling me that I was no good. Acting like she was the sainted mother of the right way.” He put his finger in his nose, pulled out a booger and wiped it on his shirtsleeve.

  “Anyway, the minute I started going to church, she started skipping church. Skirt got shorter, make-up got redder. Come to find out, Mother Theresa had started dating one of the street hustlers she had tried to evangelize into God’s kingdom. Before I knew it, this guy had turned her out. Had her turning tricks and calling him Daddy. She even tried to sell some of it to me when I was walking down the strip looking for her no good tail.”

  Silence filled the air. Every man on those steps had their own story to tell, but right now, Tyrone was king. Nobody wanted to top his story. If they could, they wisely decided to keep that lovely tale to themselves.

  “Whew, I don’t know what to say.” Kenneth didn’t know how to offer comfort for Tyrone’s problems. Life wasn’t fair; it was mean and hateful, and even spiteful at times.

  “Don’t say nothing. Just don’t put that Bible in my face again.”

  Later that evening, Kenneth sat in the kitchen going over the details of the day with his wife. Six days had passed since he had made love to the woman seated across from him. Six longsuffering days. But, Kenneth was determined not to fall in love with this woman before he knew who she really was. Thus, his self-imposed celibacy.

  He pulled his lower lip through his teeth as he studied her. She had on a yellow tank top that showed a little too much flesh, some form-fitting white slacks, and a white pullover apron. Ought to be a law against looking this good while grilling steaks and roasting potatoes. He was sure he could make a case for disturbing the peace. His peace. Mmph, mmm, he thought. “I don’t know how much I’m helping those people. I’m down there slapping together peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, feeding the body, when their souls are still hungry.”

  “Not many people would do what you’re doing for the homeless. You’re doing your part, and that’s at least something.”

  He put his hand on his head and massaged his temple. “I know. I just don’t feel like I’m doing enough. You know? I feel like I’m just giving them a fish when they need tools that will help them catch the fish for themselves.”

  “Kenneth, you have a very strategic mind. I’ve seen you at work.” She reached over and caressed his hand. “I used to tell you that I was the reason you were so successful. The truth is, you were bound to succeed. You’re a born leader. So pray, ask God to direct your path, then sit down and work out a strategy. Figure out what those people need, and go get it for them.”

  He looked at her for a stunned moment. Was this his wife? Was she really offering him sound advice, as if he mattered to her?

  Elizabeth stood to tend to the steaks. Kenneth grabbed her arm and looked into her eyes. “I was upset when I found out you sold my company.”

  “I know,” she answered. Eyes looking into his, imploring him to understand.

  “It wasn’t the loss of the company that upset me. It was the fact that you didn’t care what I would have wanted.”

  She ran her hand through her hair and lowered her gaze.

  “I don’t want you to feel left out,” Kenneth continued. “Whatever idea or plan I come up with to help the homeless might cost us every cent we have left. Are you okay with that?”

  “I don’t know how I would feel about that, Kenneth. I think it’s good to help those less fortunate, but giving up all of our money is a little scary.”

  He let her arm go. “You’d hate the thought of downsizing your lifestyle just to help a few unfortunates, huh?”

  “I like my house, Kenneth. I like my lifestyle. Does that make me a bad person?”

  “No. Look, Liz, I’m glad you told me how you feel. I’ll keep it in mind.”

  “And I’ll try to support whatever you decide. I can’t promise anything though,” she told him as she walked to the grill and pulled off the porterhouses.

  Earlier that day, Kenneth had helped peel potatoes and chop celery for the vegetable soup the homeless shelter would serve for dinner tonight. No meat had been delivered to the shelter that day. So, while he, Kenneth Underwood, sat down to eat a thick porterhouse steak and roasted potatoes, the shelter would be serving vegetable soup, without meat, and day-old bread.

  The Underwood family ate in silence. Kenneth tried not to feel guilty as he watched Erin pick over her steak and potatoes, and Danae flat out declare that she didn’t like steak and wanted something else. For her, a thick cheeseburger and fries were produced. Kenneth tried to forget about the extra peanut butter on stale bread he gave to Sandra’s little boy, and the smile that appeared on his face – but it was real hard.

  Getting that food down was hard. To let it set on his plate and go to waste, knowing that others would have given their left arm for the meal he had tonight, would have been harder. When he finally removed himself from the dinner table, he had a full stomach and a heavy heart.

  He tossed and turned through the night. A sea of nameless faces passed through his mind, all begging him to help – to right the wrongs they had suffered. What could he do? He was just one man. He screamed back at the nameless faces. No answer came from the beggar brigade in his head.

  The faces in his dreamland began to diminish. His tossing and turning became less frequent. His mind eased in the pillowy soft cushion of sleep. Then he saw the light – the same light that came to him just before his dreams turned dark.

  Black, scaly fangs were extended. Jaundice eyes were glaring at him like he was a rib dinner. Petrified, his breathing became labored. Jaundice eyes opened his mouth and spat brown mucus on the ground.

  Kenneth was safe though. Somebody was holding him. “No, no, no!” he screamed as he felt himself being laid down on the ground. Another bolt of light. This one was almost blinding.

  “Wake up. Come on, Kenneth. Wake up.” Elizabeth pushed and prodded. “Do you hear me? Wake up!”

  Kenneth thrashed back and forth one more time, then his eyes opened. “Oh, thank God. Thank God, it’s you.”

  “What was it? What did you see?”

  “I… I…”

  “What Kenneth? Don’t let it go. Come on. What is this thing that you don’t want to remember?”

  He sat up. “I… I don’t know what I saw.” His eyes stared off into space. “The first thing I see is light, then I see some kind of animal glaring at me. I can feel how much he hates me.” He looked at Elizabeth. “He wants to kill me. But somebody, or something is holding me.”

  She sat on the chaise next to her husband, rubbing his shoulder. “Sounds like you’re just having a bad dream.”

  “No,” he said with conviction. “This was real. Liz, I don’t know when, and I don’t know what was going
on, but this happened to me.”

  With her index finger tapping against her chin she asked, “What else happened?”

  “I don’t know. I think I must have blacked out. I feel myself being laid down on the ground or something I guess. Then it all goes black.”

  “And there’s nothing else? You don’t remember anything else that happened?”

  He put his hand to his chin, not to hide his scars this time, but to rub his chin as he thought. “Well, I didn’t see it this time. But a while back, I remember dreaming that I was lying on the ground blacked out just as I was tonight. All of a sudden, this burst of light entered my darkness, and I heard a man’s voice say, ‘You’ve got too much to live for. Don’t give up now.’ I imagined that I was at Ground Zero and it was that voice that gave me the courage to live.”

  Tears danced around the corner of Elizabeth’s eyes. She lifted Kenneth’s covers. “Scoot over.”

  He gave her a questioning glance.

  “I’m going to sleep in here tonight.”

  “I don’t need you to protect me from the boogie man, Liz.”

  She gave him a tolerant smile. “I know you don’t. Now scoot over.”

  Kenneth complied. Hard to argue with a determined woman. Anyway, he didn’t feel much like fighting tonight. She cuddled up to him and rubbed his back. Whispering in his ear soft, sweet words of endearment. Kenneth closed his eyes as she began to sing.

  You are the one that I choose to share my life with,

  And you are the one that fills my heart with so much joy.

  You are the one that makes my life feel so complete.

  There’s no doubt in my mind – you are the one.

  Kenneth’s eyes jolted open, he lifted his head from his pillow. “That song, I’ve heard it before. What’s the name of it?”

  Elizabeth continued rubbing his back and arms. “You Are The One.” It was our wedding song. Now lay back down.” She continued, when he was comfortable.