Beautifully Broken (The Beautiful series Book 1)

by Tara Lee

  I shrug him off. Anger rips through my body like a tornado. Why now? Why has he come back now?

  “Fuck you, and fuck you for coming back now.” I push my finger into his chest.

  He doesn’t budge, but it makes me feel a little better. Not as much as a punch to the nose will feel, but I’ll keep myself under control. For now.

  “I get your angry Ethan.” He tries to reason with me, but I don’t hear any of it.

  “Angry? You think I’m angry?”

  He nods. I shake my head and let out a chuckle that sounds more on the verge of a crazed chuckle, like something the joker from Batman might do.

  “I’m past angry, Brant, it’s been nine years, nine fucking years without you. All these years I abused myself to drown you out and lost part of myself trying to find who I was without my brother.” I say, my arms wide as I stretch them as far as they will go.

  “I’m sorry, Ethan, I really am. It wasn’t so bad ,was it? You met Luna?”

  My eyes widen at her name How the fuck does he know about Luna?

  “Don’t you dare say her fucking name,” I warn him. I take a deep breath to calm myself.

  “Ethan, listen, I know all about Luna, I know about Lorenzo and what he’s trying to force you to do,” He rushes out.

  I almost choke on my own tongue. What the actual fuck!

  “How do you—”

  “He’s my father, too, Ethan.” He says, matter-of-fact.

  Of course he is, why the fuck did that slip my mind? I pull and tug at my hair. I can’t believe he’s here, standing in front of me. This can’t be real, right? I’m dreaming, right?

  I swallow the lump in my throat. I let out a deep breath and sit down on my sofa.

  “I know this is all kinds of fucked up. Trust me, if I could have come sooner, I would have.”

  “Some excuse, bro.” I say with a hint of sarcasm.

  He sinks down next to me, and I keep my eyes straight ahead.

  “Ethan, please, I’ve spent my life doing the right thing, being the right kind of guy, I just want us to make amends.” He sighs.

  I can see this is not the greeting he expected. Did he think I would welcome him with open arms? He’s been dead for fucking nine years.

  “So what are you, some sort of cop?” I tilt my head up as my eyes meet his.

  He nods.

  “Detective. I joined the force at eighteen, worked my way up. When I found out who Lorenzo was, my main goal was to bring him down. He’s evil, Ethan?”

  “I know,” I state.

  “You can’t work for him,” He says, as if I’ve even considered it.

  I scoff.

  “Even if I was, and not that it’s any of your fucking business, I don’t have a fucking choice. It’s work for him or watch him tear apart the woman I love, because I have no fucking way of keeping Luna safe.”

  “He’s pressuring you to work for him, yes?”

  I nod and play with my scar on my wrist. The small bump is still there. My leg bounces, and I bite my bottom lip. Fuck, I need something right now, just to take the edge off, to fix this fucked-up day.

  Brantley places his hand on my knee to stop the bouncing, I look over at him.

  “I need you to work for him, Ethan.”

  “What?” I shout as I stand. He’s joking, right? He’s lost his fucking mind.

  “Not fucking happening.” I hiss.

  “Please, Ethan, we need to get close to him, and since he thinks I’m dead, it has to be you.”

  I scoff and shake my head, digging my fingers into my wrist again.

  “Why me?”

  “He wants an heir, and you fit that bill, being his blood.”

  “Why don’t you do it?” I say, matter-of-fact.

  “He won’t let me get close. He doesn't know I exist. He thinks he only has one son left. And I’d like to keep it that way. It works better for us if he truly thinks I’m dead.”

  “I’ve been telling him no,” I say.

  He nods. “Yeah, I know, but I need you to say yes.”

  I sigh. “I’ll lose her again.” I swallow. Fear creeps in, because if I say yes to Lorenzo, I’ll be working for him, moving drugs and God knows what else. Luna will leave me for sure, and I can’t risk that I just got her back. I would have worked out some way to get out of it. Eventually.

  “Ethan.” Brant’s voice is soft, but I can hear the plea in it.

  “If you do this, you’ll be out and safe from him, and he’ll go to jail for a very long fucking time. He won’t let anyone else in, but if he truly believes you want to follow in his footsteps, he will tell you everything. We need hard evidence, Ethan, stuff that he wants no one to know .”

  I shake my head again. Tears build up, and my leg starts again.

  The thought of losing Luna again is giving me anxiety.

  My heart races, and I bite my bottom lip until I taste blood.

  “We’ll keep her safe until you’re done. Then once it’s all over, you’ll be a hero, Ethan. She’ll take you back.” He says as if he really knows Luna.

  “You don’t understand. My addiction was what threw us apart. If I even go near drugs, Luna will walk away, and she won’t come back. Not this time. I can’t risk losing her for something that may not even work, and for something I have no idea how long I’ll be in for. Can you guarantee I won’t have the urge to use again, that I won’t be in for that long?” I ask him and look at him.

  His face falls, and I know I have my answer.

  “You’ll have to find another way. I’m not risking my girl either way. Luna is all I have, and nothing or nobody is taking her away again. Not this time. I will fight with every breath in my body to keep her. She’s mine.”

  “I understand, Ethan. “ He stands and reaches for something in his pocket. He hands me a card.

  “If you change your mind, call me.” He goes to leave but stops.

  “I’ve missed you, little brother.” He smiles and then walks out my door like he was never here.

  Brantley’s alive. Holy fucking shit. I plonk down on the sofa as I try to process what the fuck just happened.

  How the fuck do I tell Luna? If I tell her about Brantley, I’ll have to tell her about Lorenzo, and somehow, I don’t think she’s ready to hear that. What the fuck am I going to do? Every time I think things are falling into place, it seems my life is more broken than it was before.

  Without a doubt this time is different. It's not just me, Luna feels it, too. I feel like I’m drowning, and she’s the oxygen that I need so desperately.

  I feel horrible for what I’ve said to Ethan. He was right, I am hanging on to old pain. I need to start fresh, Ethan is different, he isn’t the same guy he was four months ago. I had to accept he was clean and he would never go back to that life.

  I wanted to surprise him at work since I was currently looking for a job again. I have some free time.

  I walked into Black Aces, Bishop’s shop. The bell above the door announces my entrance, and Bishop looked up from the guy he was tattooing.

  “Hey, Luna, Ethan isn’t here.”

  “Oh, I thought he was working today.” I wave him off and go to walk back out.

  “Wait, did you need something?” He says something quietly to his customer.

  “I just wanted to talk.” I give him a small smile.

  “Oh.” His eyebrows pull together.

  “You could call into his apartment.” He says.

  “Right.” I smile, except I’ve only been to Ethan’s apartment once and couldn’t remember how to get there.

  Bishop smiles, and grabs a piece of paper, and writes down something and hands it to me. I look down and see an address.

  “He’s home. Just go easy on him, yeah? He’s had a rough patch.”

  I go to say something, but Bishop waves me off and yells over his shoulder.

  “He’s a smug bastard, but I’ve never seen him happier than when he’s been to see you. You bring out the best in him.” And wi
th that he dismisses me.

  I exit his shop and look down at the address again. It's four blocks away, so I begin to walk.

  When I reach his door, I take in a deep breath and lift my hand to knock. I tap twice and wait.

  I suck and bite on my bottom lip while I wait, I’m nervous and scared at the same time. What if he’s done trying?

  He opens the door, and his face lights up when he sees me.

  “Hey, baby bird.” He says as he opens the door wide enough for me to walk in.

  “Can we talk?” I ask as I wait for him to tell me no.

  “Actually, I was going to come find you because I want to talk as well.”

  Oh he does?

  “Okay, can I come in?”

  He nods his head for me to come in. As I pass him, the zing of electricity that passes between us is undeniable.

  He clears his throat and comes up behind me after he closes the door. His hands trail down my neck onto my shoulder. He leaves it as his other hand trails up my waist and across my stomach.

  I swallow. Heat spreads through my body.

  “Talk ,baby bird.” His lips brush my earlobe, and I close my eyes at the sensation.

  “I don’t want to lose myself again.” I rush out.

  “I won’t let you.”

  He turns my head and our lips are so close. The rawness between us is undeniable. He peppers kisses over my shoulder. It forces my eyes closed tighter.

  “You won’t lose yourself because I won’t let you, Luna.” His voice thickens as he speaks.

  My skin breaks out in goosebumps.

  “I don’t know what our future holds, Luna, but I do know I want you in it.” He captures my lips with his, then we’re lost in each other.

  We pull apart, both breathless. He stares into my eyes, and I know the talk we’ve been putting off needs to happen now.

  “No more lies, Ethan.” I beg.

  He swallows, his Adam's apple moving up and down.

  Ethan nibbles along my jaw in slow torturess kisses, driving me insane. He places gentle kisses on my nose, cheeks, and forehead. I can’t help but close my eyes again at his touch.

  “God, I fucking love you, baby bird.” He whispers.

  “Tell me what you need?” I ask as I turn and place my hands on his waist.

  “You.” He croaks out, his voice raw.

  The Ethan effect is on a full-blown scale now, and believe me I am feeling it.

  “You're my happy ending, baby bird,” He whispers.

  “And you’re mine,” I whisper back.

  Why did my heart choose him? Why does it only beat this way for him? I guess finding out is half the fun.

  Ethan roughly pushes me towards the wall. With my back to him, he pulls my shirt over my head and unhooks my bra. He pulls the straps down over my shoulders, keeping the bra in place, but pulls it down enough to expose my breasts. He kisses my neck; as he does his tongue feels exquisite on my skin. His hand fists my hair, turning my head to him. He captures my mouth in a heated kiss, that makes my body quiver. His other hand slides down my front; his fingers graze over my center.

  “Do you want me to fuck you, baby bird?”

  I can feel his hot breath on my ear, and it does delicious things to me.

  “Tell me.” His voice is rough and so damn sexy.

  “Yes.” I hear the plea in my voice, I'm desperate for him.

  He bites my jaw, and it's a little rough. Wetness seeps between my legs. Ethan turns me again, and my back slams against the wall. His lips crash to mine in another scorching kiss. As his fingers lift me and dig into my ass cheeks, my legs go around his waist, my head goes back. I moan at his erection digging into me. He’s hard as hell, and I’m so ready for him. He bites down hard on my bottom lip. I let out a whimper as I pull him as close to me as possible.

  “Please, Ethan,” I beg, clawing his back with my nails.

  “Fuck. You’re beautiful,” He rasps.

  His eyes heat with darkness that ignites everything I have left in me, and I’m about to explode. I need him now.

  “Ethan, if you don’t fuck me right this second, I am going to make a mess all over you.”

  He chuckles and he licks my neck from bottom to top. God, this man is pushing his luck.

  “Ethan.” My voice is a moan.

  “Don’t worry, baby bird, I’ll make it feel good.”

  He undoes his jeans with one hand whilst holding me under my ass against the wall with the other. His cock springs free against my ass, and shift my hips, trying to get closer. I lean my head on his shoulder as he ever so slowly pushes into me. I shake, unable to control my body at the feel of him entering me. He tortures us both as he thrust in and out, as slow as he can without losing control himself.

  “Oh god.” I groan.

  My pussy clenches around him. Ethan’s breath is hot on my neck. He clasps my waist, his fingers digging into my skin.

  “Fuck, baby bird. Your pussy is so fucking tight.” He breathes.

  He picks up his pace, eager for release just as much as I am.

  In.

  Out.

  In.

  Out.

  “Fuuuccckkk.” He groans.

  He grips my throat with one hand as he pumps quickens, as his fingers move over my pussy, in fast circles over my clit. That's all it takes, and I’m done. I explode around him. My wetness coats his cock, as he lets go, and I feel every single drop he pumps in to me.

  “Fucking hell, Luna.” He finally says after he lets out a few deep breaths.

  I giggle. My head falls forward as I catch my own breath. Ethan kisses my shoulder blade but doesn’t attempt to pull out.

  “Wow,” is all I can muster up energy to say.

  “Yeah.”

  We lean against the wall for a while as we both come back down from the high.

  Mind-blowing sex is a real thing, and sex with Ethan is out of this world. I don’t think my pussy will ever recover from Ethan’s cock.

  We lie together cuddled on the couch, both out of breath, butt naked, and not a care in the world.

  My gaze wanders south, eyeing his very growing erection.

  I feel his eyes on me. I squirm under Ethan’s attention. I look up at him, and he eyes me, wary.

  “Are you looking at my dick?”

  Ethan smirks, and it makes my cheeks heat.

  “What? No.” I jerk my eyes away.

  “Sure you weren’t.”

  I roll my eyes at his chuckle. Why does he have to be so goddamn sexy?

  “So you wanted to talk?” He says.

  I run my fingers over his chest. This has to be done. Everything out in the open right?

  I sit up and grab his shirt from the floor. I can’t talk all serious with Ethan while my body is on display.

  He grabs his boxers and pulls them on. I sit next to him with my feet under me. I play with a thread on his shirt. His fingers touch my skin, and I sigh.

  “I gave you my heart and I never really got it back, it’s always been yours, Ethan.” I say softly.

  “Sometimes it takes something really fucking crazy to put you right back where you belong,” he says.

  “There’s something I have to tell you.” I tell him. I take a deep breath and wrap my arms around myself.

  “ I was sick.” I bite my bottom lip.

  I hear him inhale, and I see out of the corner of my eyes as he runs his fingers through his hair. Finally, after what feels like an eternity he exhales.

  “You were sick? What ? When? Why didn’t you tell me? Fuck, Luna, I have the right to know.”

  He stands abruptly, and anger seeps from him.

  “It's not what you think.” I rush out.

  “Not what I think, really what am I thinking, Luna?” He barks out.

  Tears fill my eyes ,and I can't help but let them fall.

  “Luna?” He asks again, softer this time.

  “I’m in remission, it's gone.”

  Before I can think, he pulls
me into him and wraps me in his arms. I cry on his shoulder.

  “The leukemia is gone.” I tell him as my tears soak his shirt.

  “You can’t know that for sure, baby bird.” he says, his voice filled with pain.

  I grip his shirt in my hands as he rubs my back in small circles with his fingers.

  We stand like this for some time. Ethan’s shoulder is pretty wet from my tears, so I pry myself from him and brush his shoulder with my hand. He shrugs like it’s no big deal he’s covered in my tears and snot.

  “Are you sure it’s gone?” He asks.

  I swallow, I hate this. I never wanted to have this conversation with him. Never wanted him to feel alone. Not again.

  “There is a possibility it could come back.” I hiccup.

  I feel him tense, he pulls back, he brushes his thumb over my cheek, and wipes my tears away. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He kisses my lips softly but doesn’t linger.

  “My Mom and Daddy helped me” At the mention of my Mom, I tear up again. I haven’t given myself time to think about her because I knew I wouldn’t survive in New York if I did.

  “It’s okay, baby bird, I’m here now.” Ethan says.

  “I can’t stand to think you were sick and I wasn’t there to hold your hand or help when you weren’t well.” He runs his fingers over my face as if he’s taking in every detail.

  He’s memorizing you.

  “I”m sorry I never told you, but after we broke up, I figured you didn’t have the right to know.”

  His face falls, hurt in his eyes.

  “ I’m sorry for all the pain I ever caused you, Luna.”

  He kisses the tip of my nose, and I smile against him.

  “I won’t lie, Ethan these, last two years have been the hardest thing I have ever faced. Every turn I took, I thought it would get better, only to have everything blow up again like an atomic bomb on my heart. Facing death, losing my mom and losing you.” Tears brim my eyes, and I can’t help swallowing the thick lump in my throat.

  “You never lost me, Luna, I was always here.” He whispers against my cheek as he holds me close.

  I scrunch his shirt between my fingers and I lean my nose on his shoulder. His scent flows through, and it does things to me. Ethan’s always had an intoxicating smell. There’s just always something about his smell that drove me wild. I swear he was letting off a pheromone like an animal.