Beautifully Broken (The Beautiful series Book 1)

by Tara Lee

“How?” He shakes his head.

  “Because it’s just weird, okay. “ I say grabbing my pillow and playing with the material.

  “Okay, I’m sorry, you're just beautiful when you sleep, Luna. I love looking at you.”

  He stands to his full height . He’s taller than I remember. I'm in a thin tank top, and my nipples show. I cover my chest, and Ethan’s laughter erupts into my room.

  “What’s so funny?” I prompt him.

  He points to my chest. “If you are covering up those sexy ass nipples, don’t bother, baby bird, because I happen to love seeing them excited for me.”

  I frown at him and throw my pillow in his face. This time it lands square in his face.

  “Oh, you're going to pay for that, baby.”

  He jumps on top of me, and I squeal. His hands catch my wrists, placing them above my head, his groin pushing into mine, his growing erection pressing.

  I try to move him but have no luck. He's much bigger than me and way stronger. His height doesn’t help because his body has encased mine, and there is no way I’m moving unless he lets me.

  I blow the piece of hair that's falling over my face out of the way and stare him right in the eyes. “How did you know they were excited about you?” I say, determined to crush his ego.

  He smirks, and his leg moves up. His thigh pushes into me, and a soft moan slips out.

  “Because, Luna, I know you and I know your body. I touched you before you woke, and your body responded to me.”

  My eyes go wide as he tells me, and I can’t help but feel heated and maybe a little betrayed by my body. Damn thing had a mind of its own when Ethan is around. My arousal hits me like a freight train. Ethan seems to bring out every emotion and feeling in me. Ethan pushes a little harder, and my center pulses. I throw my head back, not even caring anymore. He makes me feel , and I love that he does.

  “Fuck, your so damn sexy, Luna.” He breathes.

  He moves closer, breath tickling my ear. I shiver in response, and Ethan smirks down at me, knowing exactly what he’s doing to my body. This is what he does to me; everything he does affects me no matter how small. Just his simple smirk has me coming undone.

  “Ethan,” I whimper.

  His tongue teases my neck in small circles. He keeps my hands above my head but now he’s moved to holding them in one hand. His free one travels down my body,and he yanks down my tank top from one shoulder, exposing my very alert nipple. I sigh and bite my bottom lip, eager for him to touch me. He licks over my nipple, tasting me, sucking every inch until it’s even harder. I whimper with delight. Ethan blows on my nipple gently, making it stand to full attention and so pleasurably painful. What has he done to me? His knee continues to push against my pussy, and I can feel how wet I am; my panties are soaked.

  He growls, and I can feel his thickness through his pants. His hand travels south until his thumb brushes against my very sensitive clit. I shake without control of my body;I may just come right now.

  Ethan slides my soaked panties to the side, slipping his thumb over my clit. I cry out, not caring if Callie is here to hear me.

  “Fucking soaked, baby bird. I’ve barely fucking touched you.” He groans through clenched teeth.

  “Touch me, please.” I beg him.

  Ethan slips two finger inside me and pumps vigorously while his thumb continues to torture my clit.

  He takes my lips in his, and our teeth clash in a heated kiss. I moan around him as his fingers bring me so close. Ethan doesn’t stop, he keeps pumping, and I scream in ecstasy. My orgasm rips through me like a tsunami. I try to be quiet but I can't. My body spasms, and I can't control anything anymore my screams can probably be heard all the way in Times Square.

  Ethan hisses as I finally come back down. My body is sated, but I need to taste Ethan. I’m dying to taste him. I sit up, yanking his zipper down and push him to lie down. He places his hand over my head as I slip his cock from his briefs. It's big and thick and looks so tasty. I slid my tongue over his head, lapping up the precum that's dripping down. He groans moving his hips up, his cock slipping farther down my throat. His hand keeps my head there, locking his cock in my mouth. I moan as I suck him like a lollipop. The sounds I’m making are audible and so damn loud, but again, I don’t care. I’ve missed his taste. Ethan hisses as I take all of him in, in the end touching the back of my throat.

  “Fuck.” I smile around him and continue to torture him, just like he did to me.

  His hold on my hair tightens, and I know he’s close. I keep going, sucking every inch of him until he swells in my mouth. Ethan groans as warm spurts coat my throat. I take all of it and swallow. I clean his cock up as I watch him collect himself. Ethan is staring at me, his mouth hanging open and his beautiful cock still hard.

  “Fucking hell, Luna you just about killed me.” He chuckles to himself.

  I climb over him, and we lie like that for ages, both drawing circles on each other's skin. Ethan smiles down at me and kisses my nose.

  “I quit last night,” I tell him.

  His eyes go wide as I tell him why, and he holds me tighter.

  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, baby bird.”

  I giggle, running my nails over his chest. I play with his nipple ring, he flinches at my touch, but I know it's for a good reason, not a bad one.

  “You hated me working there, don’t act like you're not relieved I quit.”

  He chuckles.

  “Yeah, you caught me. I fucking hated you working at that place and I’m so fucking glad you quit.” He kisses my lip as he caresses my cheek in his hand.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  I shrug because I really have no idea. I came to New York to get out of our small town and make something of myself, but the four months I’ve been here, I’ve had two jobs, and neither turned out to be what I truly want.

  “You’re amazing, Luna. I’m sure whatever you truly want to happen will happen, you just have to believe in yourself like I do.”

  I run my fingers over his stubble, and he nips them with his teeth. I can’t help but smile.

  “I don’t know what I want to do. I've never really thought about it after Mom died. I just knew I couldn’t stay at home. I needed to get out, so when Callie told me she got a job in New York because of her uncle, I couldn’t pass that up.

  Ethan nods, and I know he followed me here. He never really had any plans either.

  “Move in with me?” He says suddenly, startling me.

  “What?” I laugh at him. I sit up and can see he’s serious.

  “Move in with me, Luna, I’ll take care of you, and trust me, it’s going to happen eventually anyway, why not make it sooner rather than later.”

  I’m a little shocked at where this is coming from. I know we are together again, I guess sooner than I thought, but that’s going way too fast. We may have years of emotions and memories, but right now is what counts, and were making new ones.

  “Ethan.” I warn him.

  He looks crestfallen and sighs. “Okay, I get it. Too fast, right?”

  “It’s just...” I start, but Ethan’s next words stun me.

  “I’m never going to be good enough, am I?”

  Where on earth has that come from?

  “Ethan.”

  “No,” he says, holding his hands up. “I get it, I’m the loser who broke your heart too many times, and you thought you’d give me another chance, but when it really comes down to it, you don’t trust me.” He stares at me, frown and all.

  I can see the hurt in his eyes.

  “I do, Ethan, it’s just...”

  “Just what, Luna?”

  “I don’t know, I just feel like...” God, why can’t I finish a damn sentence? Get a backbone Luna!

  “You know what, forget it. I’m obviously never going to convince you that I have changed no matter what I do, and I’m not going to be shut down every time I try to do something to help us move on.” he sighs, running his fingers through his
hair.

  For some reason, I can’t move from my spot on the bed.

  “I thought this was our second chance, Luna, but I can see I was wrong. You’ll never believe me, let alone trust me. I should just go.”

  And once he’s dressed, he walks out without a second glance, and I still can’t seem to move. What on earth is wrong with me? Go after him, Luna, go after him.

  But I don’t, I stay rooted to my spot on the bed, speechless and confused. How did we go from amazing to broken in a few short moments? Oh, wait, it’s Ethan and me, of course we can do that, because nothing is ever amazing for long with us, it’s always been like this. We fuck like crazy and make up, than we fight again and yell at each other until one of us walks out.

  I finally lay back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Maybe I haven’t gotten over the past like I thought. Maybe all that was broken isn’t healed at all and can never be fixed.

  Since our argument, I haven’t slept. This couldn’t be our demise, not yet. Luna was completely unpredictable when it came to me. One minute she hates me, the next she wanted to wrap me in her arms. Can’t say I blame her for the hate part. I did fuck up her life with my bullshit.

  I decide to forget about the argument and go see her.

  Once I slipped into her building, I knocked on the door, but nobody answered.

  I look around. Where the fuck could she be? A sign that indicates the roof is up the stairs. Maybe I’ll go up there and take in the Big Apple. I huff at my ludicrous thoughts.

  I climb the stairs anyway, as soon as I see the city lights, I smile. Even I'll admit the view from up here is pretty amazing. I go to the edge and lean my hands on the side. The wall that suffices as a barrier between what waits twenty stories down isn’t much of a boost, but what the hell. Can’t be any worse, right?

  There’ an intake of breath, and I stare off to the side. I see her before she sees me. She stares out over the lights, just like I was just now.

  “You ready to talk?” I startle her.

  She jumps but steadies herself.

  “Ethan! Bloody hell, you scared the hell out of me.”

  She holds her chest, and I walk towards her and take in her jeans and loose top that hangs off one shoulder.

  “You look beautiful.”

  She shakes her head at me and stares back over the city.

  “Luna, can we talk, please?”

  “What do you want me to say, Ethan?” She huffs and stands as she comes towards me.

  It starts to rain, small drops at first, then they get bigger by the second. Before we know it, it’s pouring down on us.

  Luna comes towards me in a hot second.

  “You left.” She screams at me and she hits my chest with her fists as she pushes me back slightly.

  Caught off guard, I’m a little confused as to what’s going on. The sob breaks free, and tears escape down her cheeks. The rain gets heavier, and I know we’re both soaking, but we don’t make a move. Luna stares at me through her tears. I go to reach out for her, but she smacks my hands away.

  “Luna please,” I beg.

  “No,Ethan, you walked away, leaving me. I thought something happened to you?” Her voice breaks, and she can’t finish her sentence.

  I try to reach for her again. She steps back, but I grab her before she gets too far. She pushes and shoves from me, but I grip her to my chest as I hold her tight.

  “I’m never leaving again, baby bird.” I whisper in her ear.

  She sobs as I hold her. I’m not sure what time she is talking about, which time she means that I left ,but I’ll go with it. She’s clearly upset. I know I stayed away when she needed me the most. I fucked up, and that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. Nothing in my life has ever come close to what I feel for Luna. She makes the dark go away and brings joy to every second of my day. I never thought Luna held on to all that shit from the past.

  I hold her as she soaks my shirt with tears, along with the rain.

  I somehow get us both back downstairs to her apartment. She strips out of her clothes and goes to shower without even a word to me. I’m fucking drench so I strip, to.

  She washes her body, and I swear to god she is torturing me on purpose. She’s angry right now, I get it, but at some point we need to talk about this.

  She goes to leave the shower, but fuck that. I wrap my hand around her neck and pull her back to me, crashing my lips to hers, and we kiss like we’ve been starved. She pulls my bottom lip between her teeth and bites down. My cock twitches between us. I return the favor and cup her face, pushing her against the shower wall. My cock jumps again. We nibble and bite, as the kiss becomes more than just a kiss, it becomes a hate kiss— well on her part anyway. She hates kissing me right now. And fuck it, it’s hot. She moans. I groan and I go to pull her in to me more, but she pulls away, and before I can stop her, she’s out of the shower. Well, fuck me, that was different.

  I take my time because I’m still shivering from being fucking soaked on the roof. By the time I’m out with a towel covering me, she has my clothes in a pile on the couch, dry as a bone and still warm. I rush and put them on, ready to talk, but she turns away from me.

  “I just need more time please, Ethan.” She pleads.

  I can see how upset she is. That kiss was a mistake. She didn’t want to do it but couldn’t stop herself. I sigh and pray we can work this out

  I stop and look at her, silently hoping she runs after me and tells me she’s just being a little crazy because she loves me way too much.

  My demons may keep me in fear, but nothing will keep me from her.

  Luna doesn’t follow me, not that I thought she would, but fuck it if I didn’t think this time would be different. I thought we had finally come to a new path, one we could put the past behind us where it belonged.

  I'm trying too hard? I run my fingers through my hair as I exit her building. I get on my bike and just drive. Before I know it, I’m in New Jersey, just by the beach. The sun is setting, and across the ocean it looks magical.

  I sigh and lift my leg over my bike. I stand, looking out at the ocean. I’m not sure what I’m thinking about, just Luna in general, I guess, how my life can go from such a shit wreak to wonderful, than back to being a fucking mess.

  I run my hand across the back of my neck, my face screwed shut. I just want to scream and let everything out, but since I’’ll have an audience, I refrain myself from doing that.

  The thing is, Luna is right, I’m hiding something, just not what she thinks. She thinks I’m using again, but that's far from the truth. Knowing who my real father is, and knowing once I tell her I’ll lose her forever, makes it hard to even think about telling her. I know once I do, she’ll run, and I can't lose her again. I just fucking can’t.

  By the time I’m back at my apartment, I’m beat. I need a shower and my bed. I’ll go see Luna tomorrow. Maybe we can sort this out before it’s too late and I never get to see her again.

  I abruptly stop when I see a man standing outside my apartment door. I frown and continue to walk.

  “Can I help you?” I ask when I stop in front of him.

  He’s leaning back, arms crossed over his chest, looking as relaxed as anything. He looks familiar to me. I know him. I know that much. Where from is the question.

  “You can help me a lot actually, Ethan.” He smirks, and it’s the same cocky grin I use on Luna.

  I open my door and go to shut it in his face, but he puts his hand out, stopping me.

  “I need your help, Ethan.” He says.

  “Who the fuck are you?”

  He smirks again and runs his fingers through his hair.

  “You know who I am, Ethan.” He says as if I have a clue.

  I stared at him . Where the fuck do I know him from?

  He pushes his way in, as he brushes past me, he bumps my shoulder. I grit my teeth as I keep my anger down. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

  I stand in the center
of my apartment and cross my arms over my chest.

  “Care to explain who the fuck you are?” I argue.

  He sighs, he reaches for something in his pocket, and hands it to me

  I take what he’s offering and turn it over. It's a photo. A photo of me and Brantley when we were young, was taken just before he died. It was the last photo we took together, that was nine years ago.

  I look at the photo and then look back at the man in front of me. Realization sets in, and I lose my breath.

  It can't be. No fucking way!

  “It’s me, Ethan.” He says, sensing I recognize him as I stare at him, my mouth hanging open and my heart about to beat out of my chest.

  ‘I-it c-can’t be,” I stutter.

  I fall back onto the floor, and he rushes to me, he kneels down, and grabs my face in his hands. He pulls my head up to look at him.

  “It’s really me, Ethan, it’s Brantley.”

  Holy fucking shit.

  “You’re dead.” I say as he helps me to stand. “You’re supposed to be dead.” I push away from him, startled.

  He gives me a small smile. Cleary he isn’t, or I’ve lost my fucking mind.

  “I faked my own death. It was what was best. I knew you wouldn’t understand.” He goes to say more, but I cut him off.

  “You thought it was best, are you fucking kidding me?” I yell.

  I pace back and forth, run my fingers through my hair. My heart is racing. I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking believe this shit.

  “You left me. You left me to go from foster home to foster home without you. You let me become an addict because I couldn’t bear the thought of you without drowning it out,” I explain to him.

  “Ethan, that wasn’t my intention. Trust me I was planning to come find you the minute I got sorted and had a place. Things didn’t go to plan.”

  I chuckle.

  “Oh really, shit didn’t go to plan.” I can’t stop my heart from beating so fast it feels like my chest is going to explode. I can’t look at him. It feels weird, off even, is this really my brother?

  “Ethan.” His voice breaks.

  “Please, I just want to explain.” He places his hand on my shoulder to stop me from pacing.