Savaged

by Nacole Stayton

  Bastard.

  “Is he gone?”

  Niko walks toward me, grabs me, and pulls me into his chest. He looks so different in street clothes. I’ve never seen him wear anything but business attire or in nothing at all. As he holds me tightly, I can smell his cologne and for a moment, I forget about Jarod and what just happened.

  It feels like minutes pass as he strokes my hair and plants soft gentle kisses on the top of my head. “What are you doing here?” I ask.

  I’m lucky that he showed up when he did, but I’m still curious as to why he’s here at all. It must be because of the letter I left for him. I sincerely hope that my words got through to him. Maybe he finally realizes that he cares too much about us to just let me walk out of his life completely.

  “What do you mean, what am I doing here? I just saved your ass. I fucking just walked in on my best friend trying to push himself on you. You’re lucky that I came, Cambree. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened to you if I hadn’t.”

  He’s right. In the mix of the chaos, I haven’t had a chance to comprehend how bad things could have ended up if he hadn’t stormed through my door.

  Niko’s arms pull away from me, and I feel cold. “Do you have any tea?” he asks with a sincere look on his face.

  The timing is off, and it certainly is random that he’s standing in my rundown apartment, but it finally feels like what we share is real. We’re not huddled up in one room with the lights off. I can see him clear as day. A black hat covers his head, casting a shadow over his face, but I can still see it. His full plump lips part. “Cambree, do you have any tea?” he asks again only this time, his eyes are clouded. I can’t tell if it’s because of what he just witnessed or not.

  This time I answer, “Yes.” It’s all I can croak out. I’m not thinking about tea. All I can think about is this beautiful man in front of me.

  “I want to know why you came here.” I demand as I watch him walk into my tiny kitchen. It’s basically a kitchenette, something you’d see in a hotel room. I’m short and if I spread my arms out on either side of my body, I can guarantee that both fingertips would touch my dingy cabinets on either side of me.

  He looks around the small space and shakes his head disapprovingly.

  “Yeah, it’s nothing like what you’re used to,” I say, sarcastically. I told him I didn’t live in the nicest end of town. It’s his fault for not believing me.

  From a few feet away, I watch as he rummages through my cabinets in search of tea bags. Finding my stash, he pulls two mugs out and turns to grab my kettle off the stove. It’s old, but it does its job. My apartment is dark as I continue to stand in the living room and watch as he prepares our drinks. His swift motions tell me that he’s capable of being domestic. Never once does he look over at me or ask me where anything is. I feel as if this is his personal space and I’m the one intruding as I stand back and let him do his thing.

  A few minutes pass before the sound of the kettle startles the quietness that we’re sharing. Like a trained barista, Niko pours two cups and walks toward me. He reaches out and hands me mine.

  “Have a seat.” He gestures to the couch.

  “Umm….” I glance over my shoulder at the old, tattered cushions. “I’d rather not. Actually, as far so I’m concerned, you can burn the couch.” It will only be a reminder of where my supposed friend turned on me and crossed a line that can never be uncrossed.

  “The floor it is,” he says as he bends his jean-covered legs and sits down on the carpet. I mimic his movements and sit directly in front of him. My foot brushes against the toe of his shoe.

  “I’m really sorry that this happened to you.” He blows out an exacerbated breath. “I should have noticed the signs.”

  Puzzled, I ask, “Is that why you mentioned something about him and me? You thought that we shared feelings. How could you think that I would do that? Is that the kind of woman you think that I am?”

  As he sets his mug down, the scraping sound urges my eyes to the door. I’m a little jumpy right now.

  “Are you serious? I know that’s not the type of woman you are, but lately I’ve been questioning the type of man that he is. You’re so fucking beautiful and you don’t even know it. I highly doubt that he hasn’t noticed it. After all, he did choose you for me that day in the café. You caught his eye then, and I think you’ve had it ever sense.”

  I take in what he is saying as a mouthful of tea slides down my throat. He’s absolutely right. Jarod did pick me. I even questioned why on my first night at the estate. I vaguely remember him saying something about my innocence attracting him. I’m a fool to have not thought he was being serious then.

  “I think you’re right. I should have noticed it sooner, but I knew that he worked for you. I just assumed you coerced him into being so attentive to my needs since you couldn’t.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret saying them. I didn’t even mean it like that. He starts to stand up. “No, stop,” I call out as I grab his hand and drag him back to the floor. “That’s not what I meant. You have taken care of all of my needs, and even went out of your way to help Grams. I just said it wrong. He was so attentive toward me because he was acting as you. Again, I know that sounds weird and I’m probably making a fool out of myself. What I mean is that you asked him to watch after me and drive me places. I never once felt like he was your temporary stand-in or anything like that. I knew since day one when he gave me the cell phone, all you wanted to do was make sure my needs were met.”

  Like a tidal wave, embarrassment washes over me, I feel like I’m panting for air as I’m being drug under the water.

  “Just stop,” he reaches between us and covers my mouth with his finger, “I know what you’re trying to say. Trust me, I know how hard it is to have feelings inside of you that you’re unsure about how to express them. Listen to me, Cambree, because I’m only going to say this once. I care about you, too. I’ve been lousy at showing it. But understand my side of things. I’m dead to the world. I run a multi-million dollar company from my bedroom. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There isn’t much of a life that I can offer you.”

  I pull myself up on my knees so we are eye level. “That’s where you’re wrong. I told you I’d have you any way I could, even if it meant being huddled in a room in the dark. I said I loved you. They weren’t words I was just spitting out for the hell of it. I mean them. Rain or shine, light or dark, you own my heart.”

  I feel like I’m in one of those movies. The ones that you watch snuggled up on your couch, thinking that kisses like that don’t exist in real life. Yeah, I’m living in a movie right now. It’s like the director just called action as Niko leans forward, his hands wrap themselves around me, and weave in my hair as he grabs my head. His other hand glides around the small of my back and pulls me toward him. We’re both sitting up on our knees. Our hot breath mixes in the air between us. Our mouths are being pulled toward one another’s. I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to, which I don’t, but the force is that strong. I love him and he loves me. As our lips brush against one another’s, goose bumps rise all over my body. His touch is pure electric.

  “Let me love you in the only way that I know how,” he whispers as our mouths part for a split second.

  Tears flood my eyes. His words mean that much. “Show me how deep our love runs, Niko.” His tongue roams my mouth. It’s not fast and needy like it’s been in the past. Our movements are strong but slow and passionate as we share a kiss like it’s the first time our lips have ever met before. Their introduction is flawless and executed perfectly.

  “Cambree, will you be with me? Really be with me. No contracts, agreements, or darkness keeping us apart? I want you to be mine, and only mine.”

  My heart hits my stomach and I all but scream yes. We make love on my living room floor for the rest of the day.

  It’s pure heaven.

  IT WASN’T UNTIL I witnessed the look of terror in Cambree’s eyes
that I knew what I felt in my gut about Jarod was right. He not only showed his true colors, but he also broke a friendship that has been as rock-hard as one could want. I will never be able to trust him again, and I highly doubt that he’s going to be able to ever redeem himself with her or me.

  As I made love to Cambree, my mind kept flashing images of his mouth on hers. The thought repulses me that his lips were on hers merely minutes before mine were. The bottom line is that mine were the ones that kissed her head before she drifted off to sleep.

  My arm tingled this morning when I pulled it out from under her head. I was hesitant to wake her up, after only sleeping for a few short hours. I know that she needs all of the rest she can get. Yesterday was tough, but today is going to be even tougher.

  I scribbled down a note and left it on the pillow where my head laid all night. Getting dressed, I took one last look at the sleeping beauty and walked toward the door. Cambree turned over as I was locking it behind me. The air was chilly against my skin as I walked to my car and drove away, trying to remain unnoticed.

  That was less than three hours ago. Since then, I’ve tried to contact Jarod several times. I know that he’s not going to just come back to the estate and act as if nothing happened last night. Well, I hope he wouldn’t. I’m worried that if he does, I’ll kill him. Picking up the phone on my desk, I dial Neil’s number. If Jarod’s not here, his father’s is the only other place I think he’d be.

  Great. No answer. I leave a message. I know that Neil and his son are close. However, I’m sure that he’s going to be just as shocked as I was to learn about his recent behavior.

  “Neil, it’s Niko. Listen, I need you to call me as soon as possible. I hope that you get a hold of Jarod before I do, or else I don’t think that he’s going to be able to walk when I get through with him. Call me.” I disconnect the line as I clench my cell phone in the palm of my hand.

  Bringing my hand that’s holding my phone up to my mouth, I gently hit my knuckles on my mouth. “Fuck!” I shout. That bastard has really crossed a line. Breathing in and out, I try to calm myself down. It’s not working. I’m on the edge of spiraling out of control. I drop my phone on my desk and place both of my hands on the edge of it, allowing my body to sag against my arms weight.

  “You stupid mother fucker!” I holler as I slide everything off my desk in one quick sweep. Today has already proven to be as shitty as they come, and it’s barely begun. I run my hands through my hair to prevent myself from breaking anything else.

  The funeral starts in about forty minutes. I have just enough time to finish getting dressed and make the short drive to the cemetery. Screw the mess I made. It’s surely not going to be the last of them once I get a hold of Jarod.

  Rolling over, my hand grazes a piece of paper instead of Niko’s body. My eyes dart open as the sound of the paper crumbling under my touch frightens me.

  It’s a note.

  Unfolding it, I’m curious as to why he left without saying goodbye.

  You’re precious when you sleep.

  -N

  My mouth instantly pulls up into a smile. I lie on the small pallet that I made for us and stretch. My back is sore from the hard floor and I feel bad for not offering for us to sleep in my bed. Honestly, we didn’t even sleep much. I wonder if that’s why he left without waking me.

  Grunting, I wish that I didn’t have to get up. Really, I wish that I were back in my room at the estate. Now I have to slum it while getting ready.

  Pulling myself up off the floor, I run my fingers through my mess of hair. I’m sure I look as utterly horrible as I feel. My eyes are puffy from crying in Niko’s arms after we made love, the first time. I guess once my brain finally allowed me to think about what happened, mixed with the dulled pain of just losing Grams, I couldn’t keep it in. I stored it all inside until I felt as if I was going to spontaneously combust from my built-up emotions. I had to let them out. I was going crazy and wasn’t even able to focus on the sweet, brave man that came to recue me.

  The floor below my feet creaks as I walk toward my bathroom. I lean forward and reach over the edge of the tub and turn the knob to the left. At first, a small amount of water trickles out of the faucet. As soon as a steady stream flows out, I slide off my clothes and step inside the shower.

  Showers have always been relaxing, but right now, I feel anything but relaxed. I’m scared that Jarod is going to come barreling into the bathroom at any moment. I’m lucky that nothing more than kissing happened. I’m glad that I’m not another statistic. Running my soapy hands over my body with a washcloth, I still feel violated. It’s a gross feeling that not even the scalding water can wash away.

  Taking a longer shower than I had intended, I climb out and towel dry my body as I walk into my bedroom. Everything is just how I left it. Only now, there is a thin line of dust on my nightstand and the top of my dresser. I pull out a fresh pair of underwear and stockings from the top drawer. As I drape the towel around me, I open my closet and slide clothes over until I land on my black dress. It’s the only fancy item in my entire closet. It’s the same dress that I wore to my parents’ funerals. As upsetting as it is, that I’m about to bury my last blood relative, I find peace within knowing that Grams is no longer suffering. She’d been ill for a while and I’ve been trying to heal her, but I knew that in a matter of time something like this would happen.

  I glance over at my alarm clock and realize that the funeral is supposed to start in less than twenty minutes. In a flash, I’m running around my room, applying makeup and scrunching my hair and then getting dressed. Within a matter of seconds, I’m grabbing my purse and heading out the door.

  I take one step out of my apartment’s threshold and run face first into a hard chest. My breath catches itself in my throat. I can’t move, think, or find it within myself to even scream out for help. I’m rendered immobile by fear.

  “Cambree, what’s wrong? You look like a ghost.”

  With sweaty palms, I hold my hands over my heart as it calms.

  “You just frightened me that’s all. What are you doing here, Max?”

  “I heard that your grandmother’s funeral was today. I didn’t want you to have to go all alone. I know that…you guys didn’t have much family. So I wasn’t sure if you wanted company.”

  In the years that I’ve worked at the shoe store, I never really opened up to anyone, including Max. It’s really sweet that he showed up today, but I know that there is no way he can come with me. I can’t risk Niko being spotted by anyone.

  With the threat of Jarod on the loose, I certainly don’t want to drag anyone else into this mess. “I truly appreciate you coming to check on me, and offering to accompany me, but this is something that I need to do alone,” I say, knowing that it’s a punch in his gut, but it’s the only way to protect Niko.

  A small frown makes itself known on Max’s face. “Okay. No worries, but I’m here if you need me.” He grabs my hand. I debate on pulling it back out of his grasp.

  “Thank you, Max. Actually,” I say remembering that Jarod dropped me off and I don’t have a ride, “would it be too much of a bother if you gave me a ride?” He nods his head and walks me to his car.

  There is layer of white snow on the ground as Max pulls up outside a large building. I open the car door. Running my finger below each eye, I blink a few times and try to erase everything else that I have going on right now. Grams’ deserves all of my attention.

  “Thank you for the ride.” I smile coyly, climb out, and shut his door behind me.

  I wait until he drives off before I turn, finding Niko standing, watching me.

  “Thank you for being here,” I say under my breath as I approach him. He’s dressed in all black and standing in front of the building’s doors. He is a sight for sore eyes. After falling for him in the dark, I feel lucky to be walking toward him in the light. I know he’s going out on a limb being here for me. But I don’t think that I can do this alone. Before the incident yesterday, Ja
rod would have been the one to stand by me as we buried Grams. I’m glad that Niko is here with me today.

  “We should get in there,” Niko says as he reaches out and grabs my hand. I smile but it doesn’t reach my cheeks.

  Following him through the doors, the smell of old, stale air hits me in the face. I remember the same smell from my parents’ funerals. My gut feels queasy with every step I take.

  The room is empty as we walk in. There are several rows of chairs lined up in front of the casket but no bodies in them. Grams was a loved woman, but she was so busy taking care of me and making sure I was okay to have a life of her own. My stomach feels like a swarm of bees is frantically flying around it in, stinging me as they search for a way out.

  I want to be anywhere but here as Niko walks beside me up to the casket. Grams’s face enters my line of vision and I think I’m going to lose it. My eyes blink rapidly. It’s a lost cause. Tears fall freely from my lids. I don’t even try to stop them.

  “I can’t do this Niko, I can’t see her like this.” I sob as I turn slightly to face him.

  He wraps his hand around my lower back and leans his head to the side. Whispering in my ear, he says, “You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. She needs you now. Tell her everything you want her to know.”

  His soft lips kiss my temple and then I feel him walk away.

  My nose runs and I wipe it with my jacket sleeve. “I love you so much.” I reach down and hold her cold hand. “I’m so sorry about everything that I ever did to cause you to worry about me. I’m sorry about sneaking out at night and getting caught stealing from the mall. Please forgive me for causing you so much heartache.

  “I know you’re with Momma and Pops now, and while I know you probably want to haul off and yell at him, please make amends. I know that he loves you too, and he’s sorry for all of the pain that he caused us. I pray that you’re watching over my shoulder and I hope that one day when I get to Heaven that you’ll be standing at the gates with open arms.” My voice is low as lean over the edge of the casket and kiss her forehead and then whisper, “I’ll miss you everyday for as long as I live.”