Father by Choice

by Amanda Berry

  Maggie met his gaze with sincerity. “I wasn’t bitter about it. It was what it was. You weren’t in the picture, but I wasn’t going to bad-mouth you to someone who loves you whether she’s met you or not.”

  “She loves me?” Brady couldn’t keep the wonder from his voice. His family had always been a unit. Mother, father, two brothers. He’d never had the opportunity to question whether his parents would be there for him or if he wouldn’t love them if they weren’t. “Does she say that?”

  “She doesn’t have to.” Maggie folded her hands together and he could see an inner battle being fought.

  “Why is that?” He wasn’t sure she’d answer, but it seemed to be what she was struggling with. Maybe searching for the words.

  Finally, she raised her head to face him. “Because no matter what, a little girl has faith that her father, wherever he is, wants her and that whatever is keeping him from her must be important.”

  The carefully chosen words made Brady want to question Maggie’s relationship with her father. Mrs. Brown had been on her own, but since his mother hadn’t been one for gossip and preferred to keep to the farm, he didn’t know as much about everyone in their small town as some people. This overwhelming urge to protect Maggie rose within him. Had her father hurt her?

  He opened his mouth, ready to grill her for the details so that he could right her wrongs, but Maggie hadn’t come to him. She wasn’t offering herself to him.

  “I hope I earn that trust.” Brady broke the eye contact and returned to eating.

  “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Maggie took her plate into the kitchen. He could hear the faucet running. “Do you want cookies now or later?”

  What could he say or do to make things right? He stood and headed for the kitchen. Unfortunately, Maggie was heading out at the same time. He caught her shoulders as they ran into each other.

  “I—” she started, but stopped herself. Her warm, hazel eyes gazed at him. He could almost smell the fresh-cut grass, the fragrant flowers growing wild, surrounding them. Eight years ago, she’d kissed him, offering him a taste, tantalizing him with the promise of nothing more than a night.

  He wanted to kiss her and it had a little to do with the nostalgia that she evoked in him and everything to do with the sexy woman she’d become. She didn’t seem aware of her own sexuality. Maybe he was overworked, maybe he had put too little priority on his sex life, because right now, he longed for Maggie to give him an offer like that one night. But what good would that do? No strings attached was what had left Maggie alone for eight years. But right now, he wanted another stolen moment with her.

  Her hands came up on his chest. His heartbeat quickened. Could she feel it below her fingertips? Her lips parted and he couldn’t resist the temptation any longer.

  He lowered his head slowly, giving her ample time to smack him, run screaming to her room or ask him what in the world he was thinking. Instead, she rose up on her toes and met him halfway.

  Her lips were soft under his and her arms clutched around his neck, drawing her body in close to his. Soft curves melted into him as lust hit him hard below the belt. It was all he could do to keep his hands planted on her shoulders.

  When she made a little noise of need in the back of her throat, his brain went into meltdown. His hands flowed down her sides until they reached the bottom of her sweater.

  Her breath hitched as he touched the skin at her waist. He pulled away from the kiss and met her gaze. His fingers lightly brushed along her sides under the sweater. Giving her every opportunity to stop him and hoping she wouldn’t.

  * * *

  Maggie didn’t look away, could hardly breathe. Her heart pounded in her chest and her insides had turned molten. This shouldn’t be happening. Somewhere, little warning bells were going off in her head, but with his gaze on her, she felt as mesmerized as a deer caught in headlights.

  His every touch left trails of nerves quaking in its wake. It had been so long since she’d been with a man. With a child and her mother to take care of, she hadn’t had time. And pregnancy had scared her out of one-night stands.

  But she’d always had a soft spot when it came to Brady Ward. He was definitely the exception and not the rule. Her breath caught when he finally cupped her breasts. She pulled his head down so she could recapture his lips with hers.

  His hands lowered to her hips and without breaking lip contact, he started maneuvering her toward his bedroom. All the while his fingers played with the waist of her jeans as her fingers threaded through his hair.

  Thinking was not allowed. With the flush of heat building within her, it was a wonder she didn’t combust on the spot. He stopped at his bedroom door.

  He nipped at her lip as he lifted his head. “This is insane.”

  “Completely.” She pressed her body into his.

  “We don’t know anything about each other.” He pushed open his door and stepped her across the threshold.

  “Didn’t stop us before.” Maggie laughed. It felt good. He felt good. Life was a million miles away. Consequences were things best handled in the morning.

  “One would think we had better judgment now,” he muttered against her lips. He lifted her sweater off and tossed it on a chair.

  His gaze traveled over her and a moment of anxiety surged through her. She wasn’t a perky eighteen-year-old anymore. Fighting the urge to cover herself, she let him look at her.

  “More beautiful than I remember.” He lowered his head and kissed the top of each of her breasts.

  Warmth pooled in her chest at his praise and his kisses. “More suave than I remember.”

  “I’ve had a little more practice.” His fingers began to work on her jeans.

  She tried to unbutton his shirt. Frustration bit into her as the buttons refused to come undone. “I’m sadly out of practice.”

  His lips claimed hers and she completely forgot what she was trying to do. Within moments, she felt him shrug out of his shirt and her skin was touching his. Desire flooded her.

  “This wasn’t exactly what I meant by getting to know me better.” Brady kissed the side of her throat.

  She wanted to purr with contentment, to let him take the lead and show her how hot passion could burn. “This is a good way to judge someone’s character.”

  Her hands skimmed over his back. Every muscle twitched under her fingers as they passed. Some sane part of her brain kept intruding. Was she going to have sex with Brady Ward? Why shouldn’t she enjoy herself like Penny always insisted? Why shouldn’t she let herself go for one night before returning to reality? It’s not real. It’s New York.

  Tawnee Valley seemed forever away. Brady’s mouth was magical as it pressed against her skin. She wanted to sink into this and forget everything. Escape.

  His mouth found hers and she released her thoughts like balloons. Her knees hit the side of his bed. A flash of reasoning rushed through the fog gathered in her brain and the thought balloons crashed all around her.

  She put her hands against his chest and pushed a little. He backed off immediately, but his hands held her hips against his.

  “Too fast?” The concern in his eyes made her want to yell no, but instead, she nodded. He rested his forehead against hers and drew in a deep breath. “I kind of got carried away.”

  “Me, too,” she admitted, even as her fingertips tingled with the touch of his hard chest beneath them.

  He lifted his head and tipped her chin. His eyes searched hers. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been here.”

  “We don’t know each other at all.” She sighed. His blue eyes had always been devastating to her. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

  “I understand.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. Her cheek rested against his heart. There was nothing sensual about the hug, but she could feel his desire pressed against her. Her insides pulsed, but she ignored the craving.

  “I should probably go to my room now,” she said weakly. Tell me to stay, a little part
of her whispered.

  He released her and stepped away. “I suppose that’s for the best.”

  Trying to play it cool, she retrieved her sweater. She pretended not to hear the little rumble from his chest as she pulled it on. It felt good to be desired, even if she should forget about it entirely.

  “Tomorrow is Saturday...” She waited for him to acknowledge her, but didn’t dare look his way as she walked toward the doorway.

  “Unfortunately, I have to work all day.”

  She glanced back and he caught her gaze. For a moment, she wanted to toss her cares to the wind. They’d had sex before. The only difference now was they had a connection in their daughter. Their daughter. She couldn’t afford to start anything with the father of her child, as ridiculous as that sounded.

  “We should be free to leave on Sunday.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, drawing her attention away from his eyes and over his chest, down his flat abs to the unbuttoned fly of his pants.

  She raised her eyes before venturing lower. “I should go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

  “Maggie?”

  She paused and he walked to her, stopping just out of arm’s reach.

  “You could stay in here. We could just talk. We don’t have to...”

  A sigh worked its way through her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  His grin had a sheepish quality about it. “You’re probably right. Good night, Maggie, and thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For raising our daughter on your own. For flying here to tell me. For staying. For dinner. For being you.”

  “Good night, Brady.” She gently closed the bedroom door behind her before she changed her mind.

  Chapter Seven

  Sunday morning, Brady sat at the table with his coffee. Maggie either wasn’t awake yet or was still in her bedroom. During work yesterday, Brady had made progress and had packed the necessities from his desk: laptop, cell phone, wireless router. This might not be the best move for the project, but meeting his daughter was essential. When he’d walked into his apartment last night, he’d almost turned around to check the number to make sure he was in the right place.

  The quilt remained on the back of the couch. A couple of framed photos sat on the table he threw his keys on. He recognized the frames as a Christmas gift from a work party.

  He sat at his table scrolling through emails on his BlackBerry, trying to ignore the centerpiece of flowers in a vase he was fairly certain was new. The changes had made the room feel a little more like home and less like a hotel. Instead of making him feel good, it made him feel like a guest in his own space.

  Except in his bedroom. A red silk scarf had been draped over the foot of the bed, adding a bright spot of color to his drab existence. He had wanted that color to be Maggie draped in red silk across his bed. It even had a hint of her light floral scent to it. Positive she was already asleep last night, he’d made himself pass her door without knocking. But his imagination had kept him awake into the early morning.

  “Good morning.” Her voice startled him out of his thoughts. The real Maggie was better than his imagination. Her blond hair was damp. The green “I heart N.Y.” T-shirt lovingly hugged her curves. His fingers itched from the memory of touching those curves. The scent of her strawberry shampoo floated around him. Far from the seductive scents of the tailor-suited women he was used to. Maggie had him uncomfortably aroused even in her cheap shirt with clean, unstyled hair.

  “Morning,” he mumbled. This was going to be a long two weeks. Being with her and unable to kiss her was going to be torture. She’d only said it was too fast. Not that she didn’t want him. Was she leaving an open window?

  “I only packed enough clothes for the weekend.” Maggie held out the bottom of the T-shirt and looked at it. “It’s not like I could run around naked. I bought this and two more for only ten dollars.”

  His mind stumbled and held on to the word naked. Damn lack of sleep. He shook his head to clear the image as she passed the table on her way to the kitchen and coffeemaker.

  “I hope you don’t mind the pictures. I found the frames in the guest bedroom closet and had the pictures of Amber with me. They were some I’d sent you over the years.”

  He could hear her moving around in his kitchen. So domestic. “They are fine.”

  “I couldn’t help it.” She leaned against the door frame with a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. Her gaze took in the room. “I know you don’t have time, but my mom always said a little color makes life better. Of course, sometimes she got a little carried away with color. I haven’t worn that red scarf she got me. Penny must have snuck it in my bag when I wasn’t looking.”

  “We should be able to fly out today.” Brady made himself focus on logistics and not the bit of skin peeking out from below her shirt. “My assistant was able to book two tickets on a flight leaving late this afternoon. After we pack, we can grab lunch before heading out.”

  She sat next to him at the table. Her focus stayed on the coffee cup. “We haven’t discussed what’s going to happen when we get to Tawnee Valley.”

  “We can discuss that now.”

  “We have an extra bedroom, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for you to stay with us.” She met his gaze.

  “I understand.” Brady hadn’t thought it through. The only time the two of them had been alone, he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her. He had slept like crap with her a door away for two nights. But he was sure she was thinking of Amber and not the attraction between them.

  “I know there aren’t any hotels nearby, unless you want to stay in Owen...”

  “No, that would take too long.” Owen was ten miles away and though the commute wasn’t horrible, occasionally a tractor would slow traffic to a crawl, turning the ten minutes to twenty minutes or longer.

  Maggie flushed. “I suppose if it’s the only option...”

  “I can stay with Sam.” Brady’s chest tightened. “He owes me at least that much for keeping this from me.”

  The lines of worry faded from Maggie’s face and her pretty smile returned, making the bands around his chest ease. “That would be great.”

  “I’m sure Sam and I have a lot to discuss.” Brady stood and took his cup to the sink. “I need to pack and answer a few emails. I’ll send a quick email to Sam to expect me. Maybe we can go out and wander a little before our flight.”

  Because if they stayed here any longer with her smiling like that at him, he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions. This attraction was temptation in the flesh. Briefly he thought if they got it out of their systems maybe the tension would go away. Or make it worse.

  * * *

  The ride to Tawnee Valley was a lot more comfortable than Maggie’s trip to New York. Brady had booked them in first class. When she’d complained about the cost, he’d said they were the only tickets left.

  Now she was sitting in a BMW heading down the highway that led to her small-town life. Maggie couldn’t contain her excitement. New York had been intimidating, but she’d managed. It was time to return to Amber and their home.

  They’d spent the remainder of their morning in New York wandering through Central Park. With Brady by her side, she hadn’t worried like she had the day before. She even relaxed and enjoyed herself. They had chitchatted about this and that. He had asked question after question about Amber. Maggie had answered as best she could. It had been almost easy to ignore the little jolts she got when he put his hand at the small of her back to guide her.

  Lunch had been simple and delicious and she could see the appeal of having lots of restaurants within walking distance. But she wouldn’t give up the closeness of their community for the anonymity of the city for anything.

  The plane ride had brought back the tension. Sitting close to him for two hours had been excruciating. Her body had hummed from the brush of his arm. Maintaining the conversation without wanting to kiss him when he was so close...She was lucky the seat hadn
’t combusted.

  “Not much has changed around here.” His voice drew her to the present.

  “No, not much,” she agreed.

  They’d been avoiding eye contact for most of the day. If she looked at him, he looked away. If he looked at her, she looked away. It was crazy, childish. They were the parents of an amazing little girl, but trying to define their relationship with each other seemed impossible.

  They’d passed through Owen a few minutes ago and were a few miles from Tawnee Valley. The plan was for Brady to drop her off, but should she introduce him to Amber or wait until they could set up a time so Maggie had time to prepare Amber for her father? Maggie’s heart went full throttle and the snack from the plane sat like a lump in her stomach.

  Before she knew it, they were stopping in front of her house. What did he think of their town now that he’d lived in England and New York?

  “Where do we go from here?” He caught her gaze. His eyes were so blue.

  She’d told Penny she wouldn’t want Brady, but boy, had she been wrong. It had been too long. The other night hadn’t helped. It had stirred all those physical needs she’d ignored while she took care of a growing child and her mother.

  “Maggie?”

  What she wouldn’t give for another kiss. But the cost was too high. For her and for Amber. Amber needed her father. Maggie took in a deep breath and raised her eyes to his. “Why don’t you come in? The sooner we get this over the better, I think.”

  A wrinkle appeared on his forehead as if trying to figure out what was in her mind. Good thing he wasn’t a mind reader, because her thoughts were less than pure.

  “If you think that’s what’s best,” Brady said.

  “Definitely.” She pushed out of the car and waited by the trunk until he opened it for her. She reached for her suitcase, but he beat her to it.

  “I’ve got it.”

  She nodded and turned stiffly to walk toward the house. What on earth was she going to say to Amber?