Father by Choice

by Amanda Berry

  * * *

  Brady didn’t have any trouble ignoring the sexual tension between Maggie and him as they approached the house. Nervousness filled him. This wasn’t a baby he was meeting for the first time. This was a child. His child. Who had had seven years to build up in her mind what her daddy was like.

  Now that he was here, he wasn’t sure he could do this. Maybe he should tell Maggie that they’d do it tomorrow. That way he could worry about it through the night and formulate a plan. He reached out to grab Maggie’s arm.

  A screen door slammed and small footsteps raced down the wooden porch. A streak of purple and black slammed into Maggie. Maggie grabbed her daughter and swung around in a circle.

  “I missed you, Mommy.” Her voice was beautiful like the whisper of wind on a warm day.

  “I missed you, too, baby.” Maggie tucked her face into Amber’s shoulder.

  Brady felt as if he was intruding on a moment, as if he shouldn’t be there, but he would never forget how beautiful the two of them looked together. Amber had his dark, almost-black hair but her smile was her grandmother’s.

  Maggie set Amber on the ground and knelt before her. Amber peeked around her and gazed at Brady with familiar blue eyes. A lump formed in his throat and his chest tightened. Warmth surged behind his eyes. He tried to smile, but he wasn’t sure it came through.

  “Amber, I have someone I want you to meet.”

  Amber glanced at her mother and back at Brady. She edged in closer to Maggie and took her hand. The lump descended into Brady’s gut like a lead cannonball. His own daughter didn’t know him.

  Maggie stood and turned. She took a deep breath, which reminded him he needed to breathe. “Amber, this is—”

  “Brady.” He stopped her from saying your father. “I’m Brady Ward. A friend of your mom’s.”

  Maggie cocked an eyebrow at him. He shrugged. He wasn’t ready to deal with being her dad and this way, Amber could decide if she liked him without worrying about him being the father who had never been there for her.

  “You have a funny name, Mr. Ward.” She peered at him with those gorgeous wide eyes and he couldn’t believe that this was his daughter.

  “You can call me Brady.” He held out his hand.

  She took his hand and jerked it up and down before releasing it. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  She turned her back on him and looked up at her mother. Her whole face lit and her body trembled with excitement. “Did you bring me something?”

  “Let’s go inside. Maybe we can order a pizza, and you can get to know Brady better.” Maggie glanced at him for confirmation.

  “That sounds great.” Brady nodded and followed them up the steps.

  Maggie kept throwing confused looks over her shoulder at him. He wished he could explain, but for the first time in years, he felt completely out of control. He had no idea what Amber would say when she realized he was her daddy. Would she instantly like him or instantly hate him? He’d never been there for her. Birthdays, Christmas, the days that mattered and the ones when nothing happened. He hadn’t been there. How could he look her in the eyes and say he was here now? What if she didn’t believe him? Or what if work pulled him away before he was ready to leave? It was a risk he wasn’t ready to take.

  The porch steps creaked under his feet, and flecks of paint littered his path. He followed them into the small Victorian and was engulfed in warmth. All around was evidence of a house well loved by the occupants. Pictures of generations of family members were strewn all through the entryway and living room. A rainbow of colors collided anywhere he looked, but the mismatched furniture all seemed to blend together.

  “Where would you like me to put the suitcase?” Brady asked.

  “Brady Ward.” A feminine voice brought his attention away from Maggie and Amber’s reunion.

  He would need to get used to these voices from his past if he was going to spend the next two weeks in Tawnee Valley. A copper-haired woman came down the narrow staircase. Her outfit hugged every curve, and her style hadn’t changed much since high school. “Penny Montgomery?”

  “Figures it would take Maggie to go and get you to come for a visit.” Penny grabbed him into a hug and whispered in his ear, “You hurt either of them and I will personally lop off any dangly bits you have.”

  She pulled away. Her smile convinced him she’d be willing to do just that and she’d enjoy doing it. He pulled a tight smile. He hadn’t even considered all the people he would run into while in Tawnee Valley. Maggie was the next victim of Penny’s embrace.

  “You know Brady, too?” Amber asked from behind Maggie.

  “Yeah, we all went to school together.” Penny knelt next to Amber and whispered something in her ear.

  Amber giggled behind her hand and the sound softened the knot of resentment that had begun to form in Brady’s chest. If he hurt them like Penny said, it wouldn’t be intentional. He was confident that if he stepped out of line, Maggie would make sure he knew it.

  “No more secrets, you two.” Maggie took her suitcase and opened it on the table. “Penny, can you order us all a pizza?”

  Penny left the room but not before throwing Brady a serious look that said, “I’m watching you.”

  Just what he needed— another set of eyes watching him. Tawnee Valley was a small enough town. Being back and hanging around Maggie and Amber meant gossip was going to fly. He wouldn’t have long before some well-meaning person spilled the beans accidentally to Amber. The speculation he could deal with, but Amber being hurt by it was a whole other story.

  “Tell me about New York,” Amber said to Maggie as she knelt in one of the chairs near her mother. Her purple gem earrings sparkled in the overhead light. She peered into the bag, looking to find what Maggie had brought her.

  Brady should have gotten her something. Would that have been odd? For a friend of her mother’s, maybe. Not odd for a father. Dammit, why didn’t he let Maggie tell her? Did he think it would be better this way? Was he already screwing things up?

  “Brady lives there and before that he lived in London, England.” Maggie glanced at him and he saw all the encouragement he needed in her eyes. Maggie seemed to have a spark of faith in him even if Penny didn’t.

  “You lived in England?” Amber’s full attention was on Brady.

  “Yes, I did. For eight years.”

  “I’m almost eight. Did you meet the queen or the prince?” Before he could answer, Amber’s attention was drawn away when Maggie held out a plastic bag.

  “For you.”

  Amber quickly unwrapped the snow globe of the Statue of Liberty and the New York skyline. “Thank you, Mommy!”

  She shook it and watched the snow fall and swirl. After a couple more times, she shyly lifted her gaze to Brady and he felt his heart sing. “Would you tell me about England?”

  “Of course,” Brady said.

  While they waited for pizza, Brady told Amber all about England, answering the silly questions and the serious ones with complete openness. Maggie watched them with an expression he couldn’t read. His daughter was curious, intelligent and everything he could have ever hoped for. If he had hoped for a child.

  His career was his life. Work was what he’d return to when these weeks were finished. Work was what would keep him from coming around for every little event in Amber’s life.

  Work kept him sane, and he was making a difference. Part of him wished he could be that father that grilled on Sundays and played catch and wiped away tears, but that wasn’t who he was. As he looked into the innocent eyes of his daughter, he knew he’d better not forget that and start to wish for more. This was all he was capable of.

  Chapter Eight

  Maggie washed the pizza dishes while Brady told Amber an English story with princes and princesses. He had looked anxiously at Maggie—for approval or strength, she wasn’t sure— but she’d smiled softly and nodded. He must have found what he needed as he started a tale of jousting.

  This was
everything she’d always hoped for in a reunion with her father, but she knew it wouldn’t have been the same. Her father had left her. He’d known about her from the beginning and one day got sick of being someone’s daddy. Maybe Brady would get sick of it, too, and she’d be left with a broken-hearted daughter. Maybe it was better to not tell Amber who he was. Let her think he was some stranger from Maggie’s past who happened into their lives.

  “Are you doing okay?” Penny asked from the doorway.

  “Yeah.” Maggie swiped at a strand of hair. “It’s weird, right? Brady being here? With her?”

  Maggie couldn’t help the anxiety cascading through her system. She didn’t know whether to be happy or sad or worried that Amber had finally met her father.

  “You didn’t tell me what happened in New York.” Penny grabbed a towel and began to dry the dishes.

  “There isn’t anything to tell. He worked. I waited.” Except that one night when we almost wound up in his bed. Her knees went a little loose thinking about his lips on her neck.

  “I don’t believe you, but I’ll let it go.” Penny took the next dish. “Is he staying here?”

  “No, he’s staying with Sam.” Maggie glanced over her shoulder toward the living room where she could hear Amber laughing. “This is good.”

  “I sure hope so. Do you want me to stick around?” Penny made comically shifty eyes toward the door. She’d been at Maggie’s house for a few days and probably had plans.

  “No, we’ll be fine. It’s almost Amber’s bedtime. Brady has to get out to the farm.”

  “Good, because I have a hot date.” Penny grinned and slipped on her jacket.

  “I don’t think that your DVR counts as a date.”

  “You haven’t seen Supernatural. Call me later.” Penny kissed Maggie on the cheek. “If he does anything wrong, you tell me and I’ll take care of him.”

  “I’m sure you will.” Maggie dried her hands. She could handle Brady in Tawnee Valley.

  After Penny left, Maggie finished cleaning before walking toward the voices in her living room. She leaned against the doorjamb, suddenly exhausted.

  “Dragons roamed the streets, but Lady Jane was more than a match for them.” Brady’s voice had taken on a slight accent as he told the English story.

  They sat facing each other, lost in their own little world. The same dark hair, the same blue eyes, the same slope of their noses. It would take a fool to realize they weren’t father and daughter. Amber leaned forward, straining to listen to every word that came out of Brady’s mouth.

  Maggie remembered that feeling all too well. Even though he barely knew her in high school, she’d had the biggest crush on him. She’d spent hours doodling her name with his on her folders. It had been a silly, girlish crush.

  When he’d left for college, she’d finally let herself believe it wasn’t going to happen. He wasn’t going to one day see her as anything more than a classmate of his brother’s. She’d moved on to Josh. They were together until the end of high school, but it became clear they were going in separate directions and were better friends than lovers. And graduation...a hot summer night spent tangled in Brady’s sheets, sheltered by his arms. No expectations. No regrets.

  “There are no dragons in England nowadays. But the roads aren’t much better.” Brady looked up and caught her watching them. His eyes sparkled with happiness. Her heart stuttered. What she wouldn’t have given back then to have him look at her like this.

  She held her breath. Surely he could hear the rapid beat of her heart from over there.

  “Mommy, Brady says that the English call rain boots wellies. Isn’t that funny?” Amber’s blue eyes were filled with wonder and joy.

  Watching the two of them together, Maggie didn’t regret bringing Brady into her home. Whether or not she’d regret it in two weeks, she had no way of knowing. After all, Brady hadn’t come clean about being Amber’s father. She needed to ask him about that. “It’s about time for bed. Why don’t you thank Brady for the stories and go shower?”

  “Thank you,” Amber said dutifully. “Are you coming back?”

  “Of course. I’ll be here for a couple of weeks.” Brady kept his attention focused on Amber.

  Maggie exhaled. She’d known he was going to stay, but maybe he didn’t want to be with them every day. She couldn’t expect him to, especially with work, but it had been part of their bargain that she give him a chance. Well, that couldn’t happen if he wasn’t around.

  “You should stay with us. You could use Nana’s room. Mommy cleaned it real nice and changed it into a guest bedroom. My nana went to heaven. She won’t mind.” Amber’s expressions changed rapidly during her speech. She hadn’t learned how to hide her emotions. With everything she’d been through, Maggie was grateful Amber hadn’t grown up too fast.

  Brady’s mouth dropped open as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m going to stay with my brother for now.”

  “Okay.” Amber raced over and hugged him around the waist. His hands went out to the side and he gave Maggie a look that said, “What do I do?” Before he could do anything, it was over.

  Maggie smiled and got her own tackle hug before Amber raced upstairs, yelling over her shoulder, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Brady.”

  Brady sank into the chair and rubbed his face.

  “How are you holding up?” Maggie stayed where she was in the doorway. Afraid that if she got too much closer she’d want to touch him, and touching him might lead to things best not explored. Her fingers tingled. She knew exactly how tight his muscles were. As well-defined as his younger self.

  “Tired.” Brady laced his fingers together and hung his head. “This is going to be exhausting.”

  “She’s usually not this wound up.” Maggie stepped toward him, wanting to reassure him without scaring him off.

  “It’s not Amber.” He lifted his gaze to hers.

  For a moment she thought he was going to say it was her. That she was making him exhausted.

  “It’s this town.”

  She let out a sigh of relief.

  He pushed himself to his feet and stalked over to the window. “I’d forgotten how soul crushing it is. It wasn’t just my parents’ deaths that made me want to run, but people like Penny. Everyone thought they were involved in everyone else’s business.”

  Maggie bristled. “It’s a community. We care for each other. Penny is protective of Amber and there isn’t anything wrong with that. She was there for us.”

  “It’s good to have someone look out for you, but this place is like a virus. Everything spreads quickly and not a thing can stop it.” Brady turned back to her, and she could see the anger in his eyes.

  “It’s a good thing you don’t have to live here.” Maggie crossed her arms as her spine stiffened. “What time are you coming over tomorrow?”

  “I don’t mean you or Amber.” His tone softened. “I just...”

  “You don’t want to be in Tawnee Valley. Completely understandable after you’ve spent the past eight years alone over in England.” Damn him for making her care about him even an inch.

  “I kept busy and kept my nose out of other people’s business.” Brady walked over to her until they were close enough to touch. “I don’t need to be watched like a hawk or told when I’m out of line by anyone but you, Maggie. Amber is your responsibility and I won’t begrudge that, but she’s not this town’s child and they have no say in what we do.”

  Her anger softened a little with his words. With him this close, it was like standing next to a live wire. She wanted to grab his shirt and kiss him. Finish what they’d started a few days ago. She breathed deeply and ended up filling her lungs with the scent of him—sandalwood and that underlying scent that was uniquely Brady.

  He stepped closer, almost hesitantly, as if to give her the chance to push him away. The angry words faded into the background, just noise that hadn’t mattered. Eight years dropped away in an instant and she felt eighteen again, at a crossroads that di
dn’t have a good ending, no matter which way she looked. Her mother’s diagnosis had meant staying home and helping her. There had been no other family to turn to, and they couldn’t have afforded a nurse with the level of treatment her mother had needed.

  For one night, she had wanted to feel free, uncaged. She’d wanted Brady. They had gone upstairs to his room with no backward glances. Every touch had been torture and pleasure, both of them knowing that when the morning came, it would be time to return to their lives as if nothing had happened between them.

  “Maggie?” Her name tumbled from his lips and he leaned toward her, daring her to close the last bit of distance like she had in New York.

  Her body swayed toward him as if it couldn’t resist his pull.

  “Mommy, I forgot a towel,” Amber yelled over the noise of the shower.

  Maggie tried to find something more in Brady’s eyes, but the shutters fell and he stepped back.

  “I’ll be right up.” Maggie didn’t move. They weren’t kids anymore. Both had responsibilities elsewhere, and their paths were only joined by one thing—Amber. That’s all they had between them.

  Brady cleared his throat. “What time does school let out?”

  “Three.” Maggie was glad the word came out without being breathless.

  “Tell Amber good-night for me.” He brushed past her and headed to the front door.

  She sighed and let out a little shiver before turning to go upstairs.

  “Good night, Maggie,” he said softly as the door shut.

  * * *

  Brady stood on the front porch of his childhood home. A whole host of memories had swarmed in to greet him. From toddler to teenager, he’d spent many days on this porch, dreaming of a future far away. He’d loved his parents and wanted to make them proud, but farming had never been his passion.

  He’d made sure to be the best at anything he tried. To be better at school and sports than his two brothers. It hadn’t mattered. Sam was his father’s favorite and Luke had been their mother’s favorite. Not that Brady had been neglected. He’d been loved. He’d just been different. Never quite fit in.