They made the trip home in silence. When he pulled into her driveway, Belinda ignored his silent plea to look at him. She exited the car and practically sprinted inside the house. She turned to close the door and found Lance behind her.
“Can I come in for a minute?”
“No. Tonight’s not good.” She rubbed her arm. It was fine. Belinda knew Lance wouldn’t hurt her. However, making him think he did was payback for his disregard of her feelings.
“Please let me in.”
Belinda gazed into his pleading eyes. She hated that she couldn’t be strong. That she couldn’t refuse him. Without a word—and at war with herself—she moved aside to let him enter.
48
“Did you hear I bought a building? They are making the sign as we speak,” Belinda said to Sydney. They were gathered in the church hall sorting through the clothes. Ellie and the Beulah Belles were also on hand.
“Yes, Ellie told me. That’s wonderful.” Sydney’s tone said the opposite. Belinda knew when she was being tolerated. But she still tried.
“Thanks so much for the money and the clothes,” Belinda continued. She was going to drag out this conversation as long she could.
“I promised I would. I tend to keep my word,” Sydney responded. “Loyalty still means something to me.”
“Why do you have to throw words at me?” Belinda asked. “I want us to get past this.”
“Have you stopped seeing Lance?”
Belinda felt the urge to lie to her friend. “No, I haven’t.”
“Then I have nothing to say. It’s obvious whatever you have with him means more than your friendship with me.” Sydney cut her eyes and walked off.
Belinda rushed after her. “I’ve been a friend to you. I’ve been your ride-and-die chick. At least give me the dignity of talking this out.”
“Ride or die chick?” Sydney rolled her eyes.
“I’ve been hanging out with some of these young girls at church. You pick up the slang.”
“Whatever.” Sydney picked up a stack of dress pants sorted by color. “Where do you want these?”
“I’m thinking by the far end of the room. Ellie has the master plans.”
“Fine. I’ll talk to her.” Sydney walked off. There was coolness in her steps that sent the message that she could care less about their estrangement. Belinda was tired of people not caring about her. She debated going after Sydney and making her talk this out, but her cell rang. It was Lowe’s calling to confirm all the supplies they planned to deliver at the building.
“We can come today if someone is available,” the manager said.
“That’s great. I’ll head over there now.”
“Good. We have someone from the Charlotte Sun coming. We need to take a press shot.”
“That’s right.” Belinda raked her fingers through her short strands. She looked down at her jeans and torn blouse. “Give me a half-hour to run home and change. I’m not camera-ready at the moment.”
“Okay, see you in thirty,” the manager said and hung up.
Belinda rushed over to Sydney. “Lowe’s is dropping off the construction supplies for the center. Do you want to come with me since you haven’t seen the place yet?”
Sydney shook her head. “I was in court all day. I’ll go another time.”
Without me.
Sydney’s sentiments were all too clear.
“Suit yourself,” Belinda said. “I’m done. For weeks, I’ve called and texted, but you’ve been steadily ignoring me.”
“Don’t you think it’s time you take the hint?” Sydney’s nose was in the air. “I want nothing to do with you.” She walked off again.
“A fine Christian woman you’re turning out to be.” Belinda snarled. “What kind of Pastor’s wife behaves this way? You keep up your holier-than-thou ways. Noah will catch on. When he sees you for who you really are, he’ll be done with you, too.”
Sydney drew in a breath. “Don’t you dare lecture me and don’t act like Lance didn’t do me a favor!” She placed a finger on her chin like she was thinking. “That’s two of my girlfriends he’s slept with. I was blind, but now I see and smell a dog.”
Belinda swallowed hard. Sydney was always better with words. She was an attorney after all, but Belinda was going to put up a good fight. She might as well try. This might be the last time she’d have Sydney’s full attention. She stepped up in Sydney’s face. “You are supposed to at least try to forgive me.”
“I can’t believe you’re trying to turn this on me. You betrayed me and you’re still betraying me. You have no right to demand my forgiveness.” Her voice rose with each word.
Ellie must have heard their confrontation because she rushed over. “Whatever’s going on, you need to squash it. In case you don’t know, you have an audience.”
Belinda looked around to see nine sets of eyes staring their way. “I’m sorry. I know I need to be an example to those girls I lost my head for a minute.” She backed out of Sydney’s face.
“It happens,” Ellie said. “Just cool it.” She gave both women a warning look.
“I’m sorry, Ellie,” Sydney said. “I realize as Noah’s future wife, I need to behave better than this.” Despite her apologetic words, she glared at Belinda. Her look said she was far from finished.
Belinda issued a challenge of her own.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Ellie said to Belinda. “I heard you saying you had to go to the center.”
“Oh yes,” Belinda said. “I almost forgot Lowe’s was coming with the press. I’m wasting my time on this juvenile nonsense.” She added those words for Sydney’s benefit. “Ellie, do you want to come with me? You deserve to be in the picture with me.”
Ellie nodded. “Let me grab my bag. Thanks for asking.”
Belinda smiled. “I’m honored. You’ve been a great help and a friend.”
With that last barb and her head held high, Belinda went on her way.
49
What was she doing here in the devil’s den?
Sydney bopped her head and tapped her feet to the music. This is the devil’s praise and worship. God was not getting the glory. Yet, here she was on a Friday night at Boomer’s with Portia and Jack. They were getting down on the dance floor.
Sydney looked around. There were only a handful of people. Other people had the good sense to stay home after the shooting that took place outside the club a few weeks ago. She turned her nose up. Compared to the other women, Sydney felt overdressed.
Dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a sheer, billowy blouse and her favorite black red bottom heels, Sydney attracted the eyes of several men. She ignored them, hoping they saw the rock on her finger and continued to sip on her diet soda.
Portia and Jack came back to the corner booth Sydney had claimed. They were sweaty and laughing and having a good time with each other.
“You should’ve come and danced with us,” Portia said, taking a sip of her wine.
“I’m fine right where I am. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know why I let you talk me into coming.”
Portia waved away Sydney’s concerns. Her huge hoops dangled from her ears. She smoothed her blunt cut into place. “You needed to live a little. It’s better you’re here than home in a funk. Relax. Try to get into the music…”
“Yeah,” Jack parroted. “Just go with the music. Hey, Hey, Hey…” He channeled Madonna and did some corny move that made Sydney crack up.
She stood. “I’m going to go. I want to be in church tomorrow.” She waved her hands across the expanse of the club. “This is not my thing. I don’t belong here.”
Portia said, “I understand. I just didn’t want you home alone worrying over Noah.”
“I know,” Sydney reached over and touched Portia’s cheek. “Thanks for caring, but I have to go.”
On her way out, a huge crowd was pushing their way inside. Sideswiping and ignoring catcalls, Sydney hurried to her SUV and climbed inside. She missed Noah. She
rested her head on the steering wheel. “I’ve lost my best friend and my fiancé. I have no one to call.”
Sydney dug into her back pocket to take out her cell phone. There were no voicemails or text messages. It’d been four long days since she’d heard from him. Tears welled. She didn’t want to lose him. Even Belinda had stopped pleading for her forgiveness. After their fight in the church hall, Belinda had stayed away from her. She hung out with Ellie, her new best friend. Sydney pressed a speed-dial number. Belinda’s face and number popped up. She swallowed. Her pride wouldn’t let her make the call.
She scrolled through the contacts on her cell phone. She’d already called her mother two times earlier that day. Janine was busy with preparations for her wedding the following week. Sydney placed her phone in the cup holder and tapped her chin.
She could go on another driving spree, or take a trip to nowhere. Then she decided against that. Leaving was not the answer.
She drove toward home meandering from her usual path. She passed by Noah’s house. His car was parked outside. She hit the brakes and thought maybe she should ring the doorbell.
Without warning, and typical of Florida, huge plops of rain banged on her windshield. She pressed the gas. She’d better get home instead of stalking someone who may not want to see her. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Quit feeling sorry for yourself,” she cried. Her tears matched the downpour but her heart wouldn’t bend.
Sydney turned into her complex and headed for her parking space. “They did me wrong. Not the other way around. I didn’t deserve any of it.” She pushed her phone in her pocket, opened the SUV and faced the rain. Although it was doing serious damage to her leather pants, she welcomed it. She splayed her hands wide and looked up. “Why? Why did they do this to me?”
They did Me worse.
Sydney slumped. “I’m not You, God. This isn’t easy.”
But it’s necessary. Forgive as you are forgiven.
She clenched her fists. The rain beat against her face. “How much is too much?” she yelled. She sloshed her way up the stairs to her condo. Standing under the awning, she wiped her feet on the mat she kept outside the door, while the rain pounded behind her. She opened her door with slippery fingers and stepped inside.
Sydney took her cell phone out of her pocket, shrugged out of her wet clothes and raced to retrieve an oversized plush towel.
She entered her bedroom and stretched herself out on the bed. At the risk of developing stalker tendencies, she needed to talk to Noah. Hear his voice. Sydney gave into the urge and called him. It rang before going to voicemail. She tossed her phone on her nightstand and cried.
When Sydney opened her eyes, it was 3:58 a.m. She stood and stretched before checking her phone. Noah hadn’t called.
Her chest heaved. Sydney’s fingers flew against her keyboard.
How can you talk about forgiveness and then cut me off? Pot, kettle situation.
She hit Send.
Noah was a light sleeper. She wrinkled her nose. Maybe it was too early. Or, maybe what he meant by taking some time was that he was done with her.
Her shoulders slumped. How could he say he loved her and then ignore her like she didn’t matter? She squeezed her eyes shut to keep from crying. She was not going to be that woman. The one who pined over a man who was fine without her. Okay, she was exaggerating. It hadn’t been a week, yet. She needed to relax.
Her cell phone buzzed. She read Noah’s text.
I haven’t cut you off. I love you. See you at the wedding.
Sydney felt better after reading his text. She reached for her Bible and pulled out her spiritual to-do list. She read her own words. Forgiveness. The concept was endearing, but the action was a struggle. She added another name to her list.
Belinda.
“Now, God, I’m relying on You,” she said and bowed her head in prayer.
50
Wednesday was a random night for a wedding, but Janine and Irving had chosen this date. December 12.
Irving’s best friend, Jerome Blighten and Sydney were the only two present to serve as witnesses. They were all gathered in Janine’s living room area under a makeshift awning. There were bridal flowers intertwined. The only other decoration was a huge centerpiece by the small wedding cake.
“We’re ready,” Janine said. She and Irving walked down the aisle together. Janine looked radiant in a long, flowing, off-white gown. Nothing outshone the love and sparkle on her face.
Noah stole a glance Sydney’s way. Her curls framed her face and hung on her shoulders. She wore a form-fitting, sea green dress. Noah glanced at her silver rhinestone shoes. He gulped before returning to her face. She kept her jewelry and makeup simple.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered.
She nodded, showing off her beautiful smile. “It’s been a while.”
His breath caught. Sydney was breathtaking … a vision … a distraction … a welcomed sight. He wanted to draw her close to him or hold her hand. But today was not about Sydney. It was about her parents.
Noah cleared his throat. “Dearly beloved …”
Within minutes, it was over. All the way through the proceedings, all Noah could think about was he and Sydney uttering those same words. Exchanging vows. Becoming man and wife.
Irving and Janine kissed. Then they cut the cake. Sydney snapped photos. Then it was over. The couple headed to Irving’s beige Jaguar to drive to Ft. Lauderdale. They were going on a two-week cruise to the Western Caribbean. Jerome waved and left as well.
Noah waited for Sydney to secure her mother’s house and activate the alarm. He crooked his index finger. “Come here. I want to take your picture.”
Noah motioned for Sydney to stand still while he went to retrieve his camera from his car. He snapped several pictures of Sydney before angling the camera to get shots of them together.
Sydney rolled her eyes. “You have a funny way of showing it.”
Noah lifted a hand to touch her cheek, but she flinched away from him. Determined, he pulled her toward him. “I’ve been wanting to do this for days.”
Sydney stepped out of his grasp. “I don’t know why you imagine I’m going to fall into your arms after you shut me out.”
Her cool, clipped tone would’ve made a lesser man give up. But Noah was not a quitter.
Noah focused on her shoes. “Those shoes were made for everything but walking.” He bent and undid each shoe.
“What are you doing?”
“I want us to take a walk.”
“What, do you think all you have to do is snap—”
Noah jumped to his feet and kissed her on the lips. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out. If it’s any consolation I’m sure I missed you more than you missed me.” He gave her another lingering kiss.
“Everybody can see us.”
“I don’t care who sees me.”
She tried to hold back her smile, but failed.
“I’ll take off my shoes.” Noah tossed them off his feet. “Now, let’s go walking. Good thing the sun is down. The beach is only a little ways down the block.”
Sydney fell in step. “So, care to explain yourself?”
“I just needed some time, but I love you too much to stay away for long.” He lifted her hand. “I’m glad you’re still wearing this. I had been worried … it belongs there.”
She smiled. “Good because I didn’t intend to take it off. We made a commitment and unless God says otherwise, I’m keeping it.” Her eyes softened. “That’s why I was at church on Saturday. I wanted to worship God where you worship. I want to be where you are.”
Her close analogy to Ruth’s speech to Naomi from the Book of Ruth made him smile.
“I didn’t think you’d forgive me,” she whispered.
He slipped off his jacket to lay it in the sand. He motioned for Sydney to sit then squatted next to her. His two-thousand-dollar suit would never be the same. “It’s not a matter of forgiveness. For me, it was abo
ut the timing.” He touched her lips. “Do you understand what I’m saying, sweetheart?”
Sydney nodded. “I think I do. I know you’re concerned about my feelings toward Belinda and Lance. I should have been more forgiving. But did you have to put me on blast during your message?”
Noah shifted until they were face to face. He cupped her face. Her hair blew in the sea breeze. “I don’t need to hide behind a podium to tell you what’s on my mind. I’m man enough to tell you to your face. So, whatever word you hear me say behind that pulpit—trust me—it’s what God wants his people to hear.” He used a finger to lift her chin. He hated how her eyes glistened. “Honey, I’m not trying to hurt you. But to be with me, you have to accept God is first. His will is always first. I put aside my own feelings to please Him.”
She nodded. “In principle, I know that. But in my heart, it hurts.”
He kept his tone gentle. “I’m sorry. But if I had to choose between you and God, God would win. It took me time to build my relationship with Him. I’m not compromising that for anyone.”
She touched his face. “Your love for God makes me love you more.” Noah’s heart lifted.
“Good.” He scooted closer and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Now I have to settle this issue with Lance.” Her shoulders tensed. “We’re having this conversation. I seem like a sadist, counseling your ex-fiancé, but—”
Sydney put her hands over his lips. “Shh, let me speak.” Her eyes held sincerity. “I do wish Lance would’ve chosen someone else. I wonder about his true intent, but I trust your faith. If I’m to be your wife—no, when I am your wife—I know I’ll need constant reminders, but I won’t stand in your way.”
“I saw something in Lance’s eyes—I can’t explain it—but I know God needs me to minister to him.”
“I know why God chose you.” Sydney’s love shone from her eyes.
Tell Me Lies Page 22
