Tell Me Lies

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  “Like running?”

  He nodded. “I can’t explain it. What I had with Sydney was too good. Plus you know Sydney, she’s a prize but she’s no trophy wife. She’s too smart and ambitious to sit on anyone’s mantle.”

  Noah chuckled. “Definitely not.”

  Lance smiled a little, but it faded quickly. “I didn’t feel like I deserved her, so I sabotaged it by hooking up with Monica. Monica had her own agenda. She was just trying to trap me with a baby.”

  “Then you slept with Belinda?”

  He shook his head. “That was coincidental. I felt guilty about my affair with Monica and confided in Belinda. She comforted me and the way I felt about her was…I don’t know, different. It felt real with Bells. I ran off with Monica the next day.”

  “That seems to be what you do. Flight is your modus operandi.” Noah rested a hand on his jaw. “When are you going to choose to fight?”

  Lance nodded. “I do run, but in my subconscious I must have decided it was time to fight. I came back because Belinda wouldn’t leave my thoughts. She’s the only person I’ve told about my father.” Lance stretched his legs and eased deeper into the chair.

  Noah’s eyes narrowed. “If you’re in love with Belinda, why don’t you tell her?”

  Lance shook his head. “I’ve tried but not that hard. I keep coming up with reasons to spend time with her. I’ve even got her decorating the house I just purchased.” He’d been avoiding Noah’s eyes. Looking everywhere in the room but directly at him. “I’m too messed up for her. She’s a good woman.”

  “You knew all that and you still messed with her. What’s your plan if you don’t love her? To ask her to shack up in the house?” Noah rubbed his chin. “It’s time for you to stop your self-destructive behavior.”

  Lance lowered his head. “You’re right.”

  “God has delivered you, today. It is time for you to fight.” Noah put his preacher voice on. “Get your woman.”

  53

  Lance entered the Port Charlotte mall. He needed ammunition to gear up for the impending fight. He entered the jewelry store with the intention of leaving several thousand dollars poorer.

  From the corner of his eyes, he saw several women give him a second glance. Lance kept his attention straight ahead. No point in looking temptation in the face.

  It took twenty minutes for him to leave with a ring in his pocket. Fifteen minutes later, he was pressing Belinda’s doorbell.

  “Go away,” she yelled, from the other side of the door. “I’m not jumping in bed with you, tonight, or any other night. I’m through…”

  Lance rang the doorbell again.

  “Did you hear me? Go.”

  “I’m not leaving.”

  “Did you forget my father lives right next door? Or that he’s a judge? Go back to Sarasota, or go drive off a cliff or something.”

  Lance leaned into the doorbell. He wouldn’t be dissuaded. He sure picked a feisty one.

  The door whooshed open. Belinda’s cheeks were red and her chest heaved with frustration. “I’m done with you. I don’t ever want to see you anymore.”

  Lance cut her off with a bend-your-toe-because-the-heat-is-spreading kind of kiss. It shut her up. Soon, he heard a moan before she pushed him away.

  She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Consider that a kiss goodbye. You can kiss my—” She slammed the door in his face.

  Lance’s jaw clenched. He was not about to beg any woman to be with him. He could have twenty more tomorrow. He ran back to his vehicle and got inside. Then he remembered Noah’s words: Fight or flight?

  He thumped the steering wheel. He was tired of running. It was time to fight. He jumped out of the car.

  He marched up to the door. “Open up because I’m not leaving. I love you, Belinda Santiago and I’m going to marry you.” He repeated his words until he believed them and she cracked open the door.

  Belinda pulled him inside before she rounded on him. “Have you gone insane?”

  Lance dropped on one knee. He reached for the square box. “Save me from my wicked ways. Make an honest man out of me. Please, do me the honor of marrying me.”

  Belinda cut her eyes at him and walked away.

  “This is the part where you say, yes,” he said standing.

  “I’m not marrying you.” Her neck snapped back and forth and her eyes flashed. “What do I look like? Leftovers? Or maybe I look like someone else you can leave at the altar.”

  He winced. He deserved that. “I’m in love with you.”

  “Suddenly you’re in love with me when you’ve been after Sydney?”

  Lance moved into her personal space. “I was never after Sydney and I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I need you to meet me here…right now, Bells. Do you love me?”

  Belinda didn’t answer at first. She kept cutting her eyes from the floor to his and then finally she said, “Yes I love you.”

  He smiled. He hadn’t expected her quick affirmation. “Well, that was easy.”

  “But I won’t marry you.”

  His smiled dropped. He hadn’t expected that quick rejection, either.

  54

  Sydney made sure she was all prayed up before her meeting Belinda. It felt like years since she’d last seen her. Her stomach clenched. Could she do this?

  Portia thought she was crazy for forgiving Belinda. But Sydney needed to clear the air.

  Dressed in a pair of casual jeans and a checkered shirt with matching pumps, Sydney drove to the Fisherman’s Village in Punta Gorda. Picturesque and quaint, Fisherman’s Village boasted great food. Small businesses carried eccentric items such as blown glass or cute fishing gear. Sydney never tired of coming here. This was one of her and Belinda’s favorite hangouts.

  She spotted Belinda, who was on time, by the bright, flowery shirt and straw hat covering her hair. Belinda sat at a table that faced the waterfront.

  Sydney didn’t know if she should hug Belinda or shake her hand. So, she gave her a two finger wave and slid into the seat across from her.

  “I took the liberty of ordering our usual,” Belinda said. She leaned in. “I’ve missed you.”

  “It took some time, but I miss you, too.” Sydney admitted.

  Belinda reached over and hugged her. Sydney returned the embrace and patted her on the back. She felt stiff and awkward. Her heart needed to defrost.

  Belinda’s smile faded. “Give me a chance.” Her voice broke.

  Sydney held out her hands. “I’m trying. This is more difficult than I imagined. I really thought I was ready, but now I’m not so sure.”

  Belinda grabbed her hand. “Sydney, look at me. Really look at me.”

  Sydney looked into her friend’s face.

  “From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry for betraying your trust. I have no excuse for my actions. I can’t answer the ‘why’ question because all I can say is it was totally unexpected.”

  Sydney’s eyes widened. “Are you in love with him?

  Their waitress, whose hair covered her nametag, brought their colas.

  Belinda nodded.

  Sydney pulled back her hand and put distance between them by pushing her back against her chair. “Were the both of you playing me all along?”

  Belinda shook her head. “No. It wasn’t like that. I slept with Lance the night before he and Monica ran off together.”

  Sydney’s eyes widened. “The night before my wedding? You slept with Lance and then stood beside me the next day, all the while knowing…” Sydney gripped the table and stood. “I need a minute. This is too much.” She walked to the water and looked out the horizon. “God, I don’t know if I can do this.”

  She touched her heart. Belinda’s admission hurt. But she’d see this through. She rejoined Belinda at the table.

  Belinda’s eyes were red and the several rolled up balls of tissue indicated she’d been crying. “I’m so ashamed. But I can’t lie to you.”

  “Why did you do it?” Sydney asked
.

  She wiped her face. “Lance had been worried about marrying you. He felt he wasn’t good enough. I comforted him and then … then we ended up in bed together. I’d never done anything like that before in my life. The next morning, he ran off with Monica and I didn’t see him or hear from him until he came back to Port Charlotte.”

  Sydney lowered her hand to her stomach. Belinda’s confession was a punch in the gut. “So when you called Lance a scumbag and all that, it wasn’t for my benefit. It was for yours?”

  “And yours,” Belinda added. “I was hurting for you.”

  Sydney was in a daze. “I’ve never felt so clueless in all my life. Did he ever even love me?”

  “I think he loved you, but I don’t think Lance was in love with you. Honestly, I don’t think he is capable of being in love. Though he says he’s in love with me. He asked me to marry him.”

  Sydney took three big sips on her straw while she processed Belinda’s words. Lance was in love with Belinda. In love. This was not a fling on either of their parts. That would take a minute to sink in. A part of her wanted to tell off Belinda and satisfy the Sydney of two years ago. Heck the Sydney of three weeks ago, but she rebuked that feeling. “If I’m being objective, I’d say when you find true love, you should hold on to it. Loving someone is hard enough, but having him return your affections, there’s no treasure like that.”

  “I know that had to be hard for you to say,” Belinda said.

  Sydney released a choppy laugh. “Don’t expect me to be the maid of honor. I love you enough to be happy for you.”

  “Will we ever get back to where we were?” Belinda’s eyes pleaded. Her beautiful face reflected her guilt.

  Sydney waved a hand. “I’ve placed it in God’s hands, but it takes time. I don’t know if we will ever be as we were, because trust is hard to build and easy to destroy. But I think we’ve both gotten something from this experience.”

  Belinda nodded. “I feel horrible for what I did to you. Even now when Lance came back into town. I should’ve told you what was going on instead of sneaking around.”

  “I agree. You should have told me. I hated the way I found out. But that’s all water under the bridge, now,” Sydney said. “If you felt no remorse, then you’d be a sociopath. But guilt is something that will eat away at you and wear you down. It’s heavy to walk around with. God’s strong enough to carry it all.”

  Belinda nodded. “I want that.”

  “On your own, you’ll wreck of your life, and those around you. Don’t you think it’s time you literally tried leaning on a relationship with Christ?”

  “Yes. It’s time,” Belinda whispered.

  Sydney couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. She was preaching to the person who had betrayed her most.

  Only God.

  55

  Lance wasn’t sure if he was ready for another session with Noah, but here he was entering the man’s office again. He felt lighthearted, but was still apprehensive. Noah’s uncanny discernment was unsettling.

  Noah greeted him and pointed to the chair. “Have a seat.”

  Lance took his seat as Noah withdrew a gift-wrapped box from behind his desk and extended it to him.

  Lance eyed the package. “What’s that?”

  “What does it look like? I bought you something.” Noah lifted his chin. “It would be rude not to open it.”

  He reached over and took the package from Noah.

  Lance eased into his chair. It’d taken less than two minutes this time for Noah to pierce at yet another childhood wound. He didn’t take gifts from people. He wasn’t used to it. Lance tore at the package to reveal a huge study Bible.

  Noah smiled. “Turn it over.”

  Lance’s heart tripped. “You had it engraved with my name. How thoughtful.”

  “I thought you’d like it.”

  Lance straightened. He gripped the box. “I love it. Thanks, Pastor. I appreciate it.”

  “Read it. Study it. Live it,” Noah commanded.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Noah opened his Bible. “How are things with Belinda?”

  “She hasn’t spoken to me since I asked her to marry me and before you congratulate me, let me go ahead and tell you she turned me down flat.”

  Noah lifted a brow. “What did you do about it?”

  “I bought her a big rock, got down on one knee, and even banged and yelled. But she wouldn’t budge. So, I did fight.” Lance folded his arms. He knew he’d tried.

  “You’re a wimp.”

  “Say what? I’m no wimp.” Lance shot back.

  “Did you grovel?”

  He jutted his jaw. “I’m not groveling for any woman.”

  “You’d better learn the power of getting on your knees.” Noah reached for his notebook and picked up his pen. “Let’s pick up from where we left off last week. Do you have a relationship with your parents?”

  “Wow. Talk about jumping in,” Lance said. “My parents are dead.” He swallowed against the lie that had come out of his mouth.

  Noah squinted. “Both of them? I’m sorry to hear that. How did they die?”

  Lance shifted into a comfortable position. “My mother was my true parent. She died. They said it was a diabetic coma, but I know differently. My father broke her heart. He ripped the soul out of her.” He clenched and unclenched his fists.

  “How did your father die?” Noah asked.

  “He didn’t physically, but he’s dead to me.” Lance gritted his teeth. The thought of his wonderful mother being dead while his jerk-of-a-father was still taking in air infuriated him. “My father claimed to be reborn after my mother died. He found God, got religion. He’s now a Bible thumper, but he’ll never be anything in my eyes.”

  Noah lowered his voice. “Has he reached out to you to make things right?”

  “He tried, but I’m done with him. He may be some fancy preacher to everybody but to me he is a heartless son of a … gun … who beat me and killed my mother.” Sweat beads formed across his forehead. Bitterness rose within him. Every time he thought about it, rage filled his heart.

  “At some point, you’ll have to—”

  “No!” Lance jumped to his feet. He bent over to get into Noah’s face. “Monty Clarendon is going to have to answer to God one day. He’s going to have to make restitution for his past transgressions.”

  Noah’s eyes were wide. “Your father’s Monty Clarendon? The Monty Clarendon?”

  Lance could only nod. “Yes, I’m ashamed to say he is. I legally changed my name to my mother’s maiden name as soon as I turned eighteen.” Lance splayed his hands. “I wanted nothing to do with that man.”

  Noah’s mouth hung open.

  Lance took his seat and chuckled. “I see I finally managed to shock you.”

  Noah pointed to his shelves, which had some of Lance’s father’s CDs and books. “I can’t equate that Monty Clarendon with the one you’re telling me about.”

  Lance lifted a chin. “Believe me when I say I couldn’t reconcile the preacher the world saw with the demon I had at home.”

  Noah rested his chin in his hands. “Monty Clarendon’s flesh and blood. I think I remember his bio saying he was estranged from his son.”

  “Here I am.” Lance’s shoulders dropped.

  Noah cleared his throat. “God wants you for ministry. You have a calling on your life.” Noah flipped his Bible pages. “Let’s open our Bibles to Romans 10:9.10, commonly known as the sinner’s prayer.”

  Lance opened his new Bible to find the scripture. He read what it said. When he was finished, he met Noah’s eyes.

  “Are you ready, Lance? Are you ready to utter that prayer to God? He wants men with your drive and passion for soul winning. You may not believe it, but I see you beside me, as my right-hand man. Like Moses and Aaron. No, better yet, Joshua and Caleb.”

  Lance’s eyes widened. “Did you just say Joshua and Caleb? Caleb?”

  Noah nodded. “Is there significance?�
��

  He released his next words in a breath of air. “I’m Caleb,” Lance said, pointing to his chest. My full name is Lance Caleb Clarendon, but I use Forbes. Like I said, I took my mother’s maiden name.”

  Noah looked upward. “Lord, will You never cease to amaze me?” Then he looked at Lance. “This is unbelievable. I’m in total awe of what God is doing right now. Do you know what my name is?” Noah laughed and clapped his hands. “Nothing just happens. I can prove it.” Noah pointed to his chest. “My name is Noah Joshua Charleston.”

  That had to mean something. They shared those powerful names for a reason. Joshua and Caleb were brothers. They saw wealth when others saw a barren land. Goose bumps rose on his flesh. “What a small world.”

  Noah shook his head. “What a mighty God.”

  56

  “Bells, I swear, you’re going to be late for your own funeral. The ball starts in one hour,” Lance said, picking up Belinda from outside the Southern Technical College.

  “Thanks for coming to get me,” she said, rushing into the car. She had her dress, shoes, and makeup bag in hand. She’d change at the event center. Tacky, but it couldn’t be helped.

  “You’ve lived in Florida all your life. You know you have to get the battery checked often,” Lance replied.

  “Give it a rest, please. How could I know my battery would up and die?”

  “What are you doing over here anyway?” Lance asked.

  “I enjoyed working on your house so much that I decided to enroll in some interior design classes.”

  “But you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”

  She shrugged. “All right, I get your point. Let’s not drag on about it.” She scanned him from head to toe. “I see you’re half-dressed.”

  She noticed his tuxedo jacket hanging in the back.

  “When you called and said you were stuck, I figured I’d better get dressed before coming.” Lance merged onto the traffic on 41. “When do you start school?”

  “Next month,” she shrieked. “I’m excited. I’ve already given my two weeks’ notice. I’ve been heavily involved with the foundation and it was getting hard to juggle all that stuff after work.”