by Bry Ann
“I’m so glad you came, Mirial.” She gives me a tight-lipped smile and bustles out of the room. Nix walks in as she’s leaving. Instantly, I tense. He’s carrying his usual cool, easy demeanor, but it’s got to be a front. Last time I saw him, I was full out screaming at him, and to be honest, I’m still angry.
“I know you don’t want to see me,” he says, raising his eyebrows, knowing that’s exactly what I’m thinking. The more our last interaction plays out in my head, the more I find myself glaring at him. “But I wanted to wish you good luck, kid. Despite everything, you were a great friend to my sister, and to me as well.”
My heart feels like it’s on fire. I take my hand and start to rub there, like that will ease the ache of losing my best friend. My best friend who would have just loved this.
“That’s all I had to say, so I guess I’ll go.” “Nix?”
He turns back around. “Yeah, kid?”
“I still think you’re a coward.”
He nods. “I know that.”
“But thank you for coming. Rose would want that.”
“Course. I’ll be out there cheering you on, and so is Sage, from afar.”
He winks, but it’s sad. He doesn’t carry his usual charm as he walks back out the door. I glance at Adam, wincing as I feel the onset of another contraction. Adam runs over to grab my hand.
“Was that bad? What I just said to him.”
“Not at all.” He wipes my sweaty hair back. “I think he’s being a coward as well. You have every right to say so. She’s your friend.”
His words are washed out by pain.
“Urgh, it hurts!”
I clench my jaw so hard the words get jumbled. I can’t scream. My stomach feels like it’s closing in on a den of knives.
“Where’s the fucking doctor?” Adam screams. His patience has not waned; it’s completely snapped.
“Hello, Ms. Lesser.”
Both Adam and I wince. Well, I wince. Adam glares, but we aren’t married, so he can’t really bite the doctor’s head off for calling me by my real last name.
“Hello, Dr. Scentio,” I say softly.
“I’m going to have Amy here administer an epidural if that’s okay with you.”
“Yes, please.”
He chuckles and glances at Adam. “He’s the father?”
“Yes, doctor.”
Dr. Scentio extends a hand to Adam. Adam takes it, firmly, and glares at him.
“Hello. Care to explain what’s going on? My fiance’s in a lot of pain.”
I know he’s trying to be good, but with his tone alone, he’s failing. I give the nurse an apologetic look. She waves her hand, like it’s no big deal. They must really get some psychos if Adam’s no big deal. Although, he is being really behaved… for him.
“Sir, I assure you I’ve been well informed as to Ms. Lesser’s progress.”
“Lacey!” Adam snaps.
“Yes, sir. I actually came to ask Lacey a few questions.”
I stiffen instantly. I know where this is going. No, please. I don’t want to. The doctor turns to me with deceptively kind eyes.
“I fell,” I blurt out, making everyone look at me suddenly. “I fell. Please, I fell.”
I watch one by one as every single person in the room softens. I want to hide under the covers. I feel like I’m under a spotlight. I grab the end of the covers and pull them up. The covers aren’t even halfway to my neck when the pain hits me, and they slip from my hands.
“Ow. Ow,” I whisper.
Someone’s hand lands on my shoulder, but I don’t care, I just want this to pass. When that same hand slides down to squeeze my hand, I jerk mine away. I need to be alone. Need to cope. This one lasts longer than the others and is way more intense. My brain is like a tape I have to keep fighting to turn off.
“Help. Help. Save me, Adam. Please,” I whisper to the rocks of my dark cell, watching my the blood slide along the grimy stone floor.
STOP! Stop, Lacey. Focus.
“Urggg.” I know that slipped out. I clench my jaw harder.
Once my body has officially worn itself out, the contraction passes. The nurse quietly sets me up for an epidural, which, after all that, is really not that big of a deal. It’s more of a relief than anything else.
“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, actually looking genuinely sorry. Adam grips my hand and stands by my side.
“I need to ask about the scars, Ms…. Sorry, Lacey.”
“I fell,” I plead with the doctor.
“Ma’am,” he says softly, “those aren’t conducive to…”
“Drop it,” Adam growls, used to people automatically giving him his way. The doctor looks at him so suspiciously that I start to panic.
“I was kidnapped. It’s been dealt with. Please. Can we just drop it?”
“Yes, miss. Let’s meet your baby girl, shall we?”
Boss
It wasn’t long before Lacey was fully dilated and prepping for labor. I’ve been nervous about a lot of things in my life, but this… this takes the cake. Watching her little body prep for birthing a baby… Despite all the power I possess, none of it can help her. What’s even the point of it?
I growl and run my hands through my hair as they place Lacey’s legs in stirrups.
“Adam,” Lacey whispers. I realize she’s looking right at me. Fuck, I’m already failing at this. I’m seriously gonna fucking vomit. I can’t believe she has to do this.
“I’m here. I’m here,” I say quickly, running over to her.She looks up at me. Those steel grey eyes are so soft and understanding, even surrounded by dark circles and droplets of sweat.
“It’ll be okay.”
She grabs my hand and squeezes it gently. My. Fucking. Heart.
“I think it’s my job to comfort you, little dove.”
She smiles, looking tired. “You’re doing great.” I groan. I see one of the nurses smile sheepishly. I glare at her and she quickly goes back to work.
Lacey and that damn heart of hers. She’s gonna kill me.
The next several hours are some of the worst of my life. The baby is the wrong fucking way. The doctors go through a series of exercises to try to get the baby to turn accordingly. Lacey is a trooper through all of it. She goes through several hours of labor. Excruciating labor. I know this because Lacey is literally in agonizing pain.
“Push, sweetheart.” Lacey lets out an agonizing scream. I rub her hair back, let her squeeze the shit out of my hand, I do whatever I can, but I’ve never felt more useless.
“Adam!” Lacey screams. “My back! Oh my God. Urgajshsh!!!!
This is torture. It has to be. How do other men survive this?
“I’m here, Lacey. I’m here.”
She leans her head into my hand, gritting her teeth. I can tell she wants to bite me.
“If you need to bite me, bite me.”
Please bite me. Make me feel like I’m fucking doing something here.
Lacey lets out a strangled laugh, followed by a silent scream.
“Is this almost over?” I ask the nurse. She gives me a pitying expression. My head falls to my chest. I look at my fiance, fighting so hard to birth our baby, and am overcome with an emotion I can’t understand.
“I love you, Lacey,” I whisper.
She can’t hear me. I know she can’t. This goes on for hours and hours. Lacey’s fading. The doctors are looking more and more concerned as the minutes tick by.
Beep! Beep! Beep! All the monitors start going haywire.
Everything goes white. My heart. My mind. The room. All of it. I will not lose Lacey!
“What the hell is happening?”
“We need to take her to surgery,” one of the doctors shouts.
“Surgery?” I roar.
I frantically look from Lacey to the hospital staff.
“Sir, we need you to stay in the waiting area.”
They’re already moving her.
“Like hell!” I scream.
“Adam,” I hear a tired voice whisper. It’s barely even a whisper, but I hear it like a siren. I run over to Lacey.
“Please,” she whispers, as her eyes start to close.
“Lacey!”
I look at the staff desperately. The nurse that’s been with us the whole time walks over to me as they start to take Lacey away from me.
“Sir, please. Let us do our job.”
“But she’s…”
The nurse’s eyes go soft.
“Sir, we see. We know she’s been through a lot. We’ll do everything we can. I have to go.”
She places a hand on my shoulder and runs off, and I’m left there. Alone. More alone than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I stand there for a solid two minutes. Unmoving. Unblinking. I want to raise hell, demand I see her, but what good would that do? The baby would still be at risk. Lacey would still be dying. I could still lose her. So I really do have to sit back and wait.
I’ve never had to do that. Not since my mom went off. I never sit and wait. And now I’m faced with the reality that I could lose the woman I love and the baby I’ve never met. A small piece of us. The only people in this world that I love.
“Sir?”
I spin around, coming face-to-face with a tall, angular woman staring back at me.
“Can I help you? The waiting room is this way.”
She points her thumb to a pair of double doors. I’d be mad if it didn’t feel like I was in a tunnel. I walk through the doors in a trance. I can’t think. Sven stares at me with a blank mask, unmoving, unflinching. Totally shut down, assuming the worst. Nix is the first person to jump to attention.
“What’s wrong? Lacey? The baby?” Nix says quickly. Even his usually composed demeanor slips.
“She’s in surgery. They had to pull her for emergency surgery. I couldn’t go in.”
“Shit. Fuck, man, I’m sorry.” Nix runs his hand through his hair. “That poor girl can’t catch a break.”
I can’t think. I can’t fucking think! I pace the floors. No one else says anything. Sven looks just about as bad off as me. Gioele is there for support. Nix is patient, ever composed. Not once since he found out she was going into surgery does he slip.
I pester every nurse that comes out. They have no news. I have no clue how long it is before I see a familiar face. It’s the nurse. The one I know. I immediately spring to my feet. I ceased pacing a long time ago and traded it for sitting, letting my leg bounce around rapidly in the chair instead.
“Ready to meet your baby girl?” The nurse looks tired, but her eyes are glowing.
I nearly collapse. Ironically, it’s Nix throwing his hand out next to me that keeps me steady.
“She’s okay?”
The nurse places a hand on my shoulder. Her and the touching, Jesus.
“They are both are. She’s waiting for you.”
She smiles and leads me down the hall. I don’t look back. I follow right after her. When she leads me to a set of doors, she pauses before going in.
“She’s very tired. Her body’s endured a lot. That girl in there is a fighter.”
She points with her thumb. An overwhelming feeling of guilt weighs down on me.
“I know,” I say as firmly as I can, but it comes out more like a whisper.
She nods and opens the doors.
Never in my entire life will any sight be better than the one in front of me. Lacey is there holding a bundle of blankets. She smiles softly at me. Her skin is pale, ghost-like. Her eyes are a light grey, almost foggy. She looks exhausted to the bone.
“Little dove,” I choke.
Her eyes start to water.
“Come meet her, Adam. She’s beautiful.” Lacey looks down at the baby with such pure love it takes my breath away. The baby that nearly killed her. I slowly walk over and look down. Everything in me catapults. Everything is about to change. This, this is all that matters.
I look down at something so small, so fragile. A pair of big grey, tired eyes meet mine.
Just like her mother.
My heart squeezes.
“Can… can I hold her?”
Lacey tries to reach up, but her arms wobble and give out. She gives me a ‘watcha gonna do’ look, and slips one hand out to grab my pant leg and pull me closer. So many emotions are coursing through me I feel I may actually die. This girl, this little stick of dynamite in front of me has changed everything. Absolutely everything.
“I like you like this,” she says in that exhausted voice of hers. I look down at myself. I’m a fucking mess. She really likes this? I know my hair is all over the place. I’m tired. My coat’s long gone. My shirt’s unbuttoned. My pants are wrinkled. Oh, Lacey.
I look at the baby. Terror shoots through me. I’ll hurt it. I know Lacey and the nurses are waiting on me to hold her.
“I…”
“Don’t be scared,” Lacey whispers, eyes fluttering closed. “You’re great.”
She sounds nearly drunk. Slowly I reach down and tuck my hand under her little neck and then under the blankets. I slowly lift her up. I look down at her. She’s got Lacey’s eyes, but definitely my dark hair, unless that changes.
“She’s got so much hair.”
I glance at Lacey. Am I doing this right?
Lacey smiles. It’s so peaceful. Her eyes flutter.
“This is the best day of my life.” I look down at Rose. I can tell she’d been crying, but she’s a pretty quiet baby already. Again, pretty much like her mom. The nurse, the one I know and should really get the name of, comes over.
“We have to get her all taken care of.”
She scoops her hands under mine and takes the baby from me. She starts to leave, but turns back to me.
“She’s beautiful, sir.”
Then it’s just Lacey and I. I quickly grab a chair and pull it up beside Lacey. She’s got to be drugged out of her mind. I can’t even imagine all she just went through.
I grab her hand and gently squeeze it. Her head drops to the side, where our hands are connected. She falls straight to sleep.
Just like that.
Lacey
Six Months Later
“Is this really happening? Tell me it’s really happening.”
He laughs under his breath.
“It’s really happening.”
I climb out of bed and wrap my arms around his neck. Everything has changed between us since Rose was born. We’re a true team.“You’re the best.”
He spins around. “I keep my word.”
“Yes. You do.”
His hands snake under my thighs. Immediately, that tingly feeling I know all too well with him comes to life.
“I love Rose with all my heart, but I love when she goes to bed too,” he mumbles before throwing me back on the bed.
I sit up and watch his muscular back. He’s in my favorite grey sweats with messy hair and no shirt. I watch as he slips the DVD in the slot.
Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone
“Eeek!” I just about scream as it comes on and the music starts playing.
Adam stalks over to the bed. He doesn’t stop when he’s by my side. He immediately climbs so he’s hovering right over me.
“The movie. The movie, Adam…”
“It’s just the menu. I have to press play.”
He waves the remote in front of my face.
“Then…”
He kisses my nose quickly and rolls over next to me, wrapping his arm around to pull me into his side.
“I guess I’ll wait.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to do stuff with you, it’s just, you know...” He laughs and turns his head to look at me.
“I know. I can’t compete with Harry Potter.”
I feel the laughter burst out of me before I can stop it.
“Not true. At all. It’s just… We never do stuff like this. I like this. Just us. Just watching a stupid movie. Being normal. I used to do this all the time, and…”
�
��Hey,” he says softly. “I get it.”
“Okay.”
I offer him a small smile and tuck myself further into his side. While I’m snuggling up to him, he extends the remote over his head and hits play. The intro starts to ring out across the room. I’m fully focused, heart racing, as is typical for me when Harry Potter is on. I am not aware of anything other than the rush of seeing Harry Potter on the television, when I feel a hand slide up my t-shirt. I practically leap out of my skin before slapping my hand down on top of his.
“Adam!” I shriek. “You said…”
The sound of his laughter fills the entire room. “I said we wouldn’t do anything. Doesn’t mean I can’t play with you a little while you watch the movie.”
“I need you fully focused, because I’m not watching the movie, we are.”
His hand slides down my stomach. I grip it even tighter.
“I’m a great multi tasker, babe.”
“Fine. I’ll make a deal.”
Half his mouth turns up in a grin. He slides his hand out and turns onto his side.“I’m listening.”
I bite my lip. He’s definitely not going to like this. “Um, so you know Ricardo?”
Instantly, he sits up. I know this is not what he was expecting.
“He’s going through a really hard time right now.”
Adam cocks an eyebrow as if to say ‘and this is my problem how?’
“We’ve kind of been talking. Become friends a little actually. Obviously, he does not know I’m saying this, and he’d probably kill me if he knew I was. I never interfere with your business. What we have is separate from what you do and I know that, but… you really need to stop treating him like a stray puppy. He has a life, Adam, and…”
Adam’s face is hard now. He’s clearly not happy.
“Lacey, he’s in the goddamn mafia. I’m not here to baby hardened criminals.”
“But what if I told you it was something that would break any man.”
My hand goes instinctively to my stomach where my C-section scar is.
“I’d say that he needs to not use the one pure hearted person in this house to earn my favor.”
Adam looks livid, and that’s it. The straw that breaks the camels back.
“His daughter has cancer!” I practically scream at him. I look down at my lap. If that happened to Rose, I can’t even imagine... “His daughter has cancer, and I know you hardly pay him. I can tell by the suits he wears. And you have him running around doing stupid stuff all hours of the day. He’s been loyal to you, and a friend to me. Don’t be…” I sigh and shake my head, deciding on different wording. “Look, I get you have a job to do. I know who you are. I’m sure as hell not naive. I’m not trying to be in your business. He’s a friend, though.” “You and your damn friends.”
