Lost and Found

by Jennifer Bryan Yarbrough

  "Well, let's just pray you're NOT!" He reaches down to put his boxers on and heads for the door. "I'm going to go out and buy some condoms, spermicides, whatever else I can find. We have to be more careful and none of this spontaneous shit anymore!" Seriously?

  "Oh wow! That sounds just like my old sex life! I'll start checking your schedule to see when you can fit me in!" I'm livid. What an asshole! "By the way, do you have a problem with me inviting Claudia over for dinner tonight?"

  "You can call and invite the pope for all I care. Do you need anything while I'm out?"

  "Maybe for you to come back in a better mood, other than that I'm good!"

  I reached over to pick my cell phone up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, but I wanted to call Claudia first. I made a point in slamming the bathroom door. While I was leaning against the counter, I heard my bedroom door slam, letting me know that he had left. Man he infuriated me sometimes. Two big arguments in less than twelve hours weren’t good signs.

  I completely understand where he's coming from, but just because something happened to Vanessa doesn't mean it'll happen to me. He's sick of me comparing him to Derek? Well, it goes both ways. I'm sure we just argued over nothing in the first place, but I'm sure not going to let him bully me either.

  This makes me realize how much I've changed since the accident. Whatever Derek told me to do or not do, I did whatever he wanted. If he would have told me to have an abortion, I probably would have, because I hated fighting with him. He would always manipulate me to go with whatever he said.

  Wow! I'm starting to really come into my own person and I never realized it until this very minute that part of the reason I couldn't move on, was because I was so used to people telling me what to do. I always did what was asked of me, because I wanted to avoid any conflict. I wouldn't even get out of bed until Claudia ripped me a new one and made me. I wonder if she hadn't had done that if I'd still be there. Probably! This reminds me. I better give her a call. She answers on the first ring.

  "Welcome to the land of the living!" She's giggling, which means she's in a good mood.

  "Hey. What are you doing?"

  "Oh God! Are you still sick? You sound awful!" Oh Lord. Here we go. I can't ever get anything past her.

  "No, actually I felt better by noon yesterday."

  "Yesterday? Why didn't you come home yesterday?" There's a pause and then, "Oh. My. God! You didn't? Hahaha. You absolutely did! I can tell. What's with the bad mood? Not a Greek God in the sack? Come on, I want details, O!"

  "How in the hell do you do that?" She never surprises me. She knows me that well.

  "Do what? Read your mind through the phone? Geez! Who knows you better than I do? So how come you don't sound happy?" She gets me completely and the tears start falling.

  "Claud? Will you do me a favor, if you're not too busy?"

  "Anything, O. Why are you crying? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him! You know I will!"

  "No. Nothing like that. Well, not exactly. Will you come see me? Have dinner with all of us tonight?"

  "Of course I will! What time should I be there?" God I love her!

  "What are you doing now? Hehe." I'm laughing, but still crying. I knew she was going to say that.

  "Seriously??, Well I'm sitting here dying of boredom, reading all of the cards that Cash sent that you never opened." She's what?

  "Claudia!! Are you kidding me? Those are personal! Why would you do that? You're a lawyer, for Christ's sake! You know not to read people's private letters."

  "O, I'm sorry! I've been so bored and I walked by your room and saw the basket and couldn't help myself. What's the big deal? It's not like you wouldn't tell me what they all said anyway. Did you know that he's falling in love with you and wants to start a relationship with you? Wants you to be his kids’ mother, if you're willing? I mean, okay, it's Cash and he has a lot to offer, but seriously! Does that freak you out? I think it would me." What am I going to do with her? Really? She read them before I did?

  "I'm a little pissed off at you right now for reading all of them before I even got a chance to, Claud! But! I need some more clothes, so if you don't mind, bring me a few shirts and panties, oh and flip flops, because I can't find mine and ALL of the cards, and put them in a duffle and come right now!"

  "Right now? But I'm not done reading them all, O!"

  "Good! We can read them together, when you get here. And YES, right now!"

  "Geez! Yes ma'am! You sound like a crazy woman right now. I'll get what you need and will be on my way in 10 minutes. Is that alright with you?"

  "Yes! Thanks, Claud! I love you so much!"

  "Yeah, yeah, love you too. You better get in a better mood! I’ll be there shortly!" She made a kiss noise through the phone.

  I decide to jump into the shower and the hot water helped calm me some after my argument with Cash and Claudia confessing to reading the cards. I can't believe she did that! Well, yes I can! Typical Claudia behavior, always doing what she wants.

  She always said I should have married her instead of her brother, because she'd share her clothes and money with me and knew I'd do the same, where Derek always considered the money his, while he gave me a weekly allowance.

  Who am I kidding! He really could have treated me better. I guess he didn't know how to though. One day I'll have to apologize to Cash about slapping him. Or maybe not!

  ********************

  After I blow dry my hair and get dressed, I head downstairs to see if Carmen had made it here yet, so that I could tell her Claudia would be here for dinner. I reach downstairs and there she is just cooking away.

  "Hey, Carmen. Did you have a good weekend?" She grins at me.

  "Yes I did, but I think you probably had a better one." She winks at me and pulls a stool up to the bar. "So, how WAS your weekend? Did you leave at all?" She chuckles when I blush.

  "When I was leaving, I came down with that vicious stomach flu that the kids had. I couldn't even stand up and Cash had to carry me to the bathroom and carry me upstairs."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry I was giving you such a hard time. How are you feeling now? Did you have it as long as the kids did?" I never thought about that. Both kids were sick for two days and I was sick for less than 24 hours. When I answer her, it's totally going to give us away.

  "Well, no. I was feeling better by noon the next day. Hey, my friend Claudia is on her way here and will be staying for dinner." Changing the subject, check!

  "Yes, I know. Mr. Kingston told me before he went out. He seemed mad. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

  Oh, she is wise. Very wise, because I can tell that she knows what we've been doing this weekend and this has me blushing again.

  "Oh, I don't know. Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Maybe by staring her down she will get off this path. Oh, who am I kidding? I couldn't lie to save my life. She is grinning back at me.

  "Hmmm. Wrong side of the bed, you say. Would that be your bed or his?"

  I get a panicked look on my face, because I don't want her thinking I'm the kind of woman that would just sleep with the boss.

  "Don't worry, Sweetie. No judgments here, and after what the both of you have gone through, I couldn't be happier." She comes around and gives me one of her big motherly hugs.

  "How did you know? Well, besides the obvious of me staying the whole weekend. But I was really sick, throwing up with fever and not to mention he took care of me the whole night, which impressed me."

  "Of course he did. He is a great man. With a nasty temper, from what I heard coming from upstairs. You really let him have it! Good for you. Don't let him bully you." Oh, lord. Did she hear what the conversation was about? Oh, I hope not!

  "You didn't happen to hear what we were arguing about, did you?" Oh, please say no, please say no.

  "No, I didn't hear what you were two were arguing about. Lucas and I walked in and heard yelling and then slamming doors. A few minutes later, Mr. Kin
gston came down looking like the hounds of hell were after him and told me about your friend coming for dinner. I hope she likes pot roast, because that's what's for dinner."

  "Oh, she'll be fine with whatever you cook, don't worry. Since I'm not there to cook for her, I'm sure all that she's had has been take out, so she'll enjoy it."

  Cologne. I immediately knew that he was back by his scent, so I turn around and look at him. He motions for me to follow him, so I nod. I turn to look at Carmen, hoping inwardly that she'll wish me luck. She could tell that I was nervous and just grabs my hand to reassure me. I turn back around to follow him, but he's already gone. Guess it's time to face the dragon.

  I walk up to the third floor and walk into his bedroom, and he's sitting on the bed going through bags of whatever he bought. He looks up and motions for me to sit down on the other side of the bags. I go sit down and suddenly feel like I'm going to get scolded like a child.

  "Okay, Olivia. I bought a lot of stuff for us to use for birth control. That is if you're still willing to continue on my terms." I guess he's still mad, because he's back to calling me Olivia.

  "On your terms? Are you for real right now?"

  "I'm serious. But first, I would like for you to go take this." He's holding a pregnancy test. Have I walked into the twilight zone? I can tell that he's still pissed, because he's barely looking at me. I walk up to him and sit on his lap and he leans his head on my shoulder and I can feel him shaking with rage? Anger? I don't know what, but he's not being himself.

  "Cash, what is going on? You still seem mad and furious. Come on, talk to me." When he looks up at me he has tears in his eyes.

  "I don't want to lose you. I feel like you're trapping me, like Vanessa did to get pregnant. I can't go through that again. I'm sorry for what all I said and especially after what we did, but I'm just scared that we screwed up. We did this all wrong. I should have wined and dined you first. Dated you and now I'm scared to death that you're pregnant."

  I immediately hug him as tight as I can and he hugs me back and exhales, like he had been holding his breath. I understand where he's coming from of course, but he acts like I'm trapping him. The only reason I freaked out was because I wasn't thinking about anything but making love to him. I still stand by what I said, but there's a bigger chance that there's nothing to worry about.

  "Cash, honey, I'm not trying to trap you and I'm not going anywhere. I really doubt that I'm pregnant. Yes, there's a possibility, I'm not going to deny that, but it's not worth worrying about." He looked at me shocked that I would even think that. "I understand why you're freaking out, but can I ask you a few questions?" He nods his head. "When Vanessa was pregnant with Gideon, did she have any problems in her pregnancy?"

  "Not really, she had a lot of morning sickness at the beginning and was tired all of the time, but no, the Dr. said it was a normal pregnancy. She was in labor for about 24 hours and it was such a beautiful moment. I can't even describe it. I know where you're going here, Liv. With Eden, it was the same way, except she had her a few weeks early and right after she delivered her, she died! She didn't even get a chance to see what she looked like!"

  I start rubbing the back of his neck, while he composed himself. I know what it feels like to bring up the past and it's not a place you want to go, if you're mainly thinking about the bad memories.

  "Cash? How did Vanessa die? I hate asking you that, but what happened?"

  "She hemorrhaged and they couldn't stop the bleeding after she delivered. It only took a few minutes. They rushed Eden to the NICU and started working on Vanessa, because she passed out and three minutes later, she was gone! I can't go through that again, Liv."

  "I know, Baby. And I promise you won't have to, okay? I don't make promises lightly anymore and I haven't made a promise since Jenna, so please trust me okay?" I look over at the pregnancy test. "And I'm not taking that! It's too soon for one and I start my period in a couple of weeks, so please don't worry about this alright?"

  I lean down and kiss him lightly and hug him. He pulls me into his arms and pulls me back to where we are laying side by side on the bed. He pushes my hair away from my face and kisses me deeper and longer.

  "How do you do it, Liv?" He starts kissing me on my neck, causing me to shiver.

  "Do what exactly?" If he doesn't stop, we are going to be naked in a minute or two.

  "You always seem to know just what to say to calm me down. I'm sorry, Liv. I might have overreacted. A few times! You sure don't put up with anything, do ya?" He was chuckling now. If only he knew how long I kept quiet about any of my opinions.

  "I'm learning to stick up for myself. Overreacted? Oh, not you." Now I'm laughing and kissing him again. I hear the doorbell ring and know that Claudia has finally arrived.

  "Uh oh. Saved by the bell, huh? I guess Claudia is here? I was on my way to getting you naked and trying out all of what I bought at the store." Oh God! If it wasn't Claudia at the door, I would have definitely taken him up on his offer.

  "Yes, that would be Claudia. As much as I would love to stay here and let you do what you want to my body..." The idea has me purring like a kitten and I lean up and kiss him on his jaw. "I have really missed Claudia."

  "Aw, don't tease me like that! I guess its girl time before the kids show up then, so I'm going to go to my study and get some work done before they get here. I know you're going to fill Claudia in on what we've been up to, but before she plans my murder, please tell her that you are completely capable of taking care of yourself. I'm just as scared of her as I am Carmen!" He has a terrified look on his face, which has me cracking up.

  "I'm not kidding, Liv! She's a real ball buster! Hey, why don't you girls go hang out on the top floor? It'll give you more privacy. Go grab some snacks from Carmen and take the elevator up." He leans down and kisses me and gives me a hug. "Go catch up, before I get you naked, woman!" He pats me on the butt and winks at me and walks me downstairs to greet Claudia.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  "You're kidding me right? Wow! Can I move in and just take this floor?" This is Claudia’s reaction to the top suite!

  "I know!! It's huge huh? Let's talk to Cash about that because I really love that idea!!! The gym is below us. The whole floor!"

  "Seriously? You'd never have to leave the house! Is there a gift shop too? Haha..." She's looking around the whole place and keeps dropping her jaw at everything she sees. She comes back to the tub that's in the middle of the room and just stares at it.

  "That's not a swimming pool is it? It's a bathtub! Wowzer! Ya know... Why don't we spend a weekend here sometime soon? Would Cash let us? Or are your weekends for only him now?" She bats her eyes at me.

  "Oh shut it Claud... Give me that bag by the way... I want to check out the cards." She tosses me the bag and I go sit down on the massive extra king sized bed.

  "I told you pretty much what all they said. I’m falling for you Liv”; please talk to me"; "I want to start a relationship with you"; "trust me Liv" blah blah blah!!" She sits down across from me on the bed.

  "I'm still pissed that you read them ya know so leave me alone and let me read them for myself."

  "Whatever. Here, let me pull out the ones I didn't read and I'll wait for you to catch up." I just look up at her and sigh. "So... While you're reading about love at first sight an all, what happened here this weekend? You sounded nuts on the phone."

  "We had sex and it was amazing. That's pretty much it."

  "Oh yeah right! That wouldn't have you crying on the phone." She's not going to leave me alone about this so I tell her everything while I'm reading the cards.

  "He what? You slapped him? Abortion? Why are you still here?" Oh my lord! Maybe I shouldn't have told her everything. But that's what we do! We tell each other everything.

  "Claud, if you're going to react like that, I'm never telling you anything again. We worked through all of it. Well, most of it." She rolled her eyes at me.

  "So, what are you going to do if you ARE p
regnant?" Wow. I figured she would have been madder about what he said about Derek.

  "I don't know. Leave the country? I doubt there's anything to worry about and I explained that to him. Why are you not mad about what he said about Derek?"

  "Oh, I am. Kind of. It ticks me off that Derek isn't here to defend himself, but honestly O, I always told you that Derek was selfish and if you're honest with yourself, he treated you like you were his doormat. Don't get me wrong. I miss him every day and loved him, but best friend wise? I always wished you had defended yourself. Sounds like you've finally learned how to take care of yourself. I am proud of you for that!" She high fives me and picks up a card she hadn't read yet. I pull it out of her hand.

  "Hey! What was that for? I thought we were going to read these together!" Pffft, I don't think so.

  "Do you see your name anywhere on the cards? No. They say Olivia!" I look at the one that I'm holding. "Wait. This one says My Darling Liv. Hmmm..." I look at all of the rest of the cards and they all say Olivia. A couple of them say Liv, but none of them like the one I'm holding.

  "Open it! I bet that's the best one!"

  I can't open it. I put it down and just stare at it. I bet this is the one that he said he poured his heart out in. She reaches forward to grab it and I jerk it back.

  "If you do that again Claud, I'm going to punch you! Don't think I won't! Got it?"

  "Good Lord! You're acting like it’s a hot potato or something. Just read the damn thing! Out loud please!" She lies down on the bed on her belly and puts her chin on her hands, as if she's watching a movie.

  "Claud, you don't understand. I think this one is why we had that argument. He said he poured his heart out into this one. I'm just scared to see what all he said."

  "Why are you so scared? It sounds like it's going to be a good thing. Were the other ones bad? No, Olivia. Just take a breath and open it and read it. You might like what he says."

  She's right. I've got to get over being afraid all of the time. I open the envelope and the card is blank, but there is a piece of paper inside. I start reading it to myself, until Claud reminds me to read it out loud.