Lost and Found

by Jennifer Bryan Yarbrough

  My Darling Liv,

  I understand why you're scared, but I'm begging you to take a leap and trust me and believe that the last thing in the world that I want to do is hurt you. I cannot help my reaction when I am around you and I understand your hesitation, but I know you feel the magnetic pull that we have for each other.

  These last few days have been some of the happiest of my life! Not only have you helped me make up for years of neglecting my children, but you've shown me that I owe it to myself and the children to move on and look forward to my future and quit running backwards into my past. Do you believe in love at first sight, Liv? Because I do. Never in a million years did I think it would happen to me not only once but TWICE, Liv!! Yes! TWICE!!

  I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I can already see my future with you and Gideon and Eden having a perfect life together. You are absolutely the dearest soul I've ever met. You so love my children and my biggest regret was that they would never have a mother again, but after meeting you? I know that you have fallen deeply in love with them and love them as much as I do. That is very rare, Liv! For a woman to walk into strangers lives and genuinely love someone that you don't have to love. I know it is because of your kind loving heart. I know that you're scared to take this huge leap with me because of how soon it is, but Liv?? I promise, from the bottom of my heart that I want way more from you than just a physical relationship. The last woman I made love to was my wife Vanessa and I have never taken sex lightly.

  I want to know you, I want to show you love; I want you to get to know me. I want to date you and treat you like the Goddess you are. Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you are even more beautiful on the inside. Beautiful really can't even describe you, Liv! Gorgeous or absolutely stunning can't even describe you. Angelic! That's why I called you my Angel! So please, PLEASE take this leap with me, and we don't have to forget our past, but cherish the memories, and let’s make some new memories... Together! Me, you, Gideon and Eden.

  Yours Truly,

  Cash

  We both sit there for a couple of minutes. Claudia exhaled a long sigh, as if she was holding her breath.

  "Do you realize what this means, O?"

  I can't talk. All I can do is the only thing I ever do. Cry. I just nod at her and she gets up and pulls me into her arms.

  "He loves you! He's in love with you! Please don't fight this. Embrace it! Everything he said is the truth! I see now why he was so mad at you for not reading the cards, and I'm so glad I didn't open that one. What a sorry friend I would have been. I'm so sorry I invaded your privacy and it will not happen again. Scouts honor!"

  She saluted me like the Girl Scout she never was, which makes me giggle and hiccup, which causes both of us to laugh.

  "I need to go talk to him. The kids will be here in a little over an hour. Do you want to hang out up here or maybe go downstairs and visit with Carmen?

  She's a sweetheart, but don't you dare go behind the bar in the kitchen, because she will probably cut you with a knife. And I'm not kidding!"

  "Hmmm. I must meet Carmen! Go, go talk to your man!" I jump up and give her a hug and I feel like everything is running in slow motion, as I run to the elevator. The elevator seems to be running extra slow today, because I can't get to him quick enough.

  ********************

  His door to the study is half open and I look in and he's on the phone with one of his employees, yelling about somebody named Maggie he's wanting to fire. He seems really mad and mentions something about the human resources department getting involved.

  He looks up and sees me through the door and motions for me to come in. I must look a mess, because he looks at me and scrunches his brow up, quietly asking me what's wrong. I know he can tell that I've been crying. He finishes up his call and comes around the desk and pulls me into his arms.

  "Liv! What's wrong, Baby? Did you and Claudia have a fight?" He looked behind me to see if anyone was there.

  "No, nothing like that. Just hold me for a minute, okay?" He picks me up and walks to the couch and sits down with me in his lap. He has a way of just sweeping me off of my feet. Literally!

  "You know I don't mind holding you. It's becoming to be one of my favorite things to do, but please tell me why you've been crying. Maybe I can help."

  He's holding me like I'm a baby with my head in the crook of his arm and his other arm under my legs. He reaches down and kisses me, and I start crying all over again.

  "Sweetheart? Why are you crying? Please talk to me."

  "I... I had ulterior motives for Claudia coming. Ever since our fight last night, when you mentioned the cards? I've wanted to read them."

  "So, you had Claudia bring them to you. Is that why you wanted to leave at four this morning?" I nodded and he just grinned and pulled me closer to him and hugged me as hard as he could.

  "I owe you an apology for not reading them. If I had read them, we never would have had that argument. I'm so sorry, Cash." I pull his head down and kiss him.

  "So, I'm guessing you read the one with the letter in it?" I nod. "That was the last one I had them write. Before I hung up, the lady that wrote it out for me told me that if you didn't fall for me after reading that letter, that she had a beautiful daughter she wanted me to meet. So, Liv, should I call her back and ask for her daughter’s number?" I turn red with jealousy.

  "Absolutely not! You're taken, Mr. Kingston!"

  I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my chest and I feel absolutely wonderful and like I don't have a care in the world.

  "If you call me that one more time, I think I'm going to have to take you right here on this couch!" I open my mouth to repeat it, but remember that Claudia is here and that would be rude, so I shut my mouth.

  He drops his head, realizing why I'm hesitating. "Claudia. Isn't it time for her to leave?"

  It was as if he could read my mind. He pulls me under him on the couch and starts kissing me on the neck, knowing that that's one of my weak spots.

  "Oh no. Now you're not playing fair, you know what that does to me." He whispers into my ear.

  "Which is why I'm doing it and I know when I whisper in your ear you get goose bumps. Is it working?" Oh, what am I going to do with him?

  "Tonight! When the kids fall asleep. I promise!" He rises up and adjusts his pants and I can see why he's so frustrated by the bulge that's trying to force its way out of his pants, which causes me to giggle.

  "Oh, you're laughing at my little problem? I see how you are, you little tease." This has me laughing harder, because what he has isn't exactly little. Gigantic would be more exact.

  "What was I interrupting when I came in? It sounded like you were chewing someone out." Maybe I shouldn't have asked, because the look on his face went from playful to pissed.

  "Just a little problem I'm having at work. Nothing I can't take care of." He frowns and I notice that he has the cutest little frown lines above his eyebrows. "I'll tell you about it, though, because this woman is absolutely crazy and you'll never believe what she did to me at work Friday. I want to fire her, but I have to talk to human resources first and do it the right way." I already want to kick her ass, because he seems a little worried.

  "What's her name? Do you want me to kick her ass for ya?" He leans his head back and laughs and laughs. I'm not laughing at all and I don't even know what she did yet.

  "That would be a sight to see, but I can handle it. This employee, Maggie, has pretty much slept with every man in the office. She is all the time flirting with me and it seems that everywhere I go at the office, she's there, like she's stalking me." I stop him.

  "Okay! I really want to kick her ass now!" I can already tell where this is going.

  "Calm down, Liv. She's clearly trash and she will be fired, but I don't want to be sued either, in case she turns it around on me, okay? There weren't any witnesses to what she did, so it would be her word against mine."

  "Oh, lord. It's bad, isn't it? Wh
at did she do?" I can feel my heart racing, I'm getting so mad.

  "Friday, everyone leaves early when they're done with their weekly work. I've done that for years, so everyone can feel like they have a longer weekend. Just an added perk that I give my employees to make them more productive through the week, some of them finish up late on Thursdays, so that they can have a full three day weekend."

  "That's a great idea and I'm sure they love having the option. You sound like a fair boss to your employees."

  "I try to be and trust me, no one has complained." He leans forward and runs his hands through his hair like he's nervous to tell me the next part.

  "Anyway, I'm finishing up and ready to leave to come home and someone knocks on my door. My assistant had already left for the weekend and I told whoever it was to come in. It was Maggie and she was wearing a coat. I don't know how I knew, but I knew that she was up to something. I should have walked out right then, but she shut the door and I didn't move. I just sat there at my desk. I was really gruff with her and asked her what she wanted. Her response was "you" and then she took her coat off and was naked underneath!" I immediately stand up, because I'm irate.

  "Okay! I'm for real going to kick her ass! Who does she think she is? What'd you do then?"

  "I was in shock! And then I was absolutely furious! I went and picked up her coat and wrapped it around her and screamed at her that she should be fired and who does she think she is! She screamed at me that if I did, then she would say I came onto her first and that I told her to come up to my office naked or I would fire her! I pushed her out of my office and shut and locked the door and got in the elevator and came home."

  "Oh, Cash! What are you going to do? You just left her there? Was anyone left on that floor? What if she vandalized anything?

  "Oh, she wouldn't, because there are cameras everywhere in the offices, even mine and the foyers where the elevators are. But, there's no audio, so all you see on the camera is her coming into my office and taking her coat off. It could look exactly like what she said. I'm hoping human resources and my attorney can help me figure out a way to fire her." I sit in his lap and give him a hug and start rubbing his shoulders to try to calm him down.

  "I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. You're too good of a person to be treated that way!"

  "Am I, Liv? Do you really think that?" There he goes whispering in my ear agai,n giving me goose bumps.

  "Of course I do, and would you please stop that! You're not being fair!" He laughs and kisses me.

  "Okay. I'll stop, but will you answer my question?" What question? He didn't ask me anything and he's shaking his head at me. "Will you take the leap with me? Will you be my Girlfriend?"

  When he asked me to be his girlfriend, he sounded like how Gideon would ask a girl in his class and I can tell that he purposely asked me that way to be funny, because the word "girlfriend" did sound funny at our age. I giggled and pushed him back onto the couch and kissed him with everything I had.

  "Of course I will! Did you think I was all blubbery and acting like a little kid because I was going to say no?"

  He got the biggest grin on his face and I could have sworn I saw a tear fall onto his cheek before he attacked me on the couch with tons of kisses, which had me giggling and kissing him back.

  "You are so going to get it tonight, my Angel. You have made me a very happy man."

  "You've made me pretty happy too, I must say." The doorbell starts ringing like crazy, which lets us know that the kids are back. That's Gideon's way of making an entrance.

  "Dammit! I'm going to break that damn doorbell! It always has such bad timing! Grrrr!"

  "Haha. Quit your whining and go see your kids!" I patted him on the butt and winked at him.

  "Oh, Liv! I may ask you to do that again tonight! That was so hot!" He's so fun to be around and laugh with.

  "Come on, Mr. Kingston. Oh, I mean Cash!" I'm at the door already and i turn around and wink at him, as he's looking at me like a love sick school boy.

  "Not fair, Liv! Not fair! Now you're just teasing me!" I turn and walk out the door, knowing that it's going to take him a couple of minutes to compose himself.

  ********************

  We walk into the living room and Claudia is sitting on the couch with the kids. She was such a great aunt to my kids that seeing her with Gideon and Eden has me thinking about her visits with mine and Derek's kids. Gideon is holding a baseball glove and Eden has a couple of Barbie dolls in her lap that she's playing with.

  "Hey Dad, Olivia, look what Aunt Claudia brought us. Wanna go play catch?"

  Claudia is looking at me with an apologizing look. I know that the gifts she gave them were supposed to have been for Jenna and Jerimiah. At first I'm a little upset, but I realize that there is no reason for the presents to stay in her closet and it probably helps to give them to Gideon and Eden, instead of looking at a reminder that her niece and nephews were gone.

  I look at her and smile and nod my head and she smiles back at me. Cash must have sensed something, because he comes over next to me and puts his hand on my lower back and asks if I'm okay.

  "Yes, I'm fine. Why don't you go play catch with Gideon for a little while before dinner is ready, for some more father son bonding time?" He leans down to kiss me, as if it's the most natural thing to do and remembers that we are in front of everyone and he pulls back and grins at me.

  "Come on, Gideon. Let's go play some catch and see what all you can do. Maybe we will put you on a baseball team in the spring."

  "Awesome! I've always wanted to play baseball like all of my friends at school, but Mrs. Williamson wouldn't ever let me." I see Cash wince at what he had said and I can see the guilt all over his face. He reaches down and pats Gideon on the top of his head.

  "That's ok, Gid. Anything you want to do you from now on, just tell me, okay buddy? Let's go play some ball. Would you ladies like to come watch us? I may need some back up." I look at Claudia and she nods her head at me.

  "Yes, go ladies. I'll take you something out to the table to drink. Dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes." Carmen goes to get some glasses out of the cupboard.

  "Thank you, Carmen. Come on girls, let’s go watch the boys!"

  We walk outside and it reminds me of how Derek and I would spend our Sunday afternoons playing with the kids outside, before he had to leave for work. I refuse to get upset and cherish the memories, like Cash said to do and enjoy this new memory in the making with all of them.

  ********************

  Cash and I are in my bed in each other’s arms, after celebrating our new commitment to each other. When we made love, we didn't want to rush it and it was slow and sensual, and he had made me feel cherished and worshipped. I don't know that there is a place on my body that he hasn't kissed or caressed and I've never felt any sexier than right in this moment.

  I know we aren't fooling anyone with our relationship, from all of the knowing looks from Carmen and Lucas during dinner, and the fact that we couldn't keep our eyes off of each other.

  Even Gideon seemed to be in the know, because at one point, I caught him watching us and he looked at his dad and then towards me and back and forth a couple of times, and was sitting there at the table, grinning from ear to ear and out of nowhere yelled. "Yes!" We asked him what was going on and he picked up his fork and said "Nothing" and went back to eating. That is one very smart boy. I should have known we wouldn't be able to keep anything from him.

  Cash is tapping me on the nose and grinning, and I guess he said something, but I wasn't paying attention, because I was so deep in thought.

  "I'm sorry, Am I boring you Liv, or was I so great that I've turned you catatonic?" I raise my head up and kiss him.

  "No, it was great, but I was thinking about how dinner went and Gideon's outburst at dinner. Did he say anything to you?"

  "Actually, he did. While I was reading him a book, he kept looking up at me and was grinning his head off, so I asked him what was up wi
th the goofy grin. Wanna know what he said?" Now he's teasing me!

  "Of course I do! He knows, doesn't he? That little stinker! He's way too smart for his britches."

  "Yes, he has to, after he asked me what he asked." He's still not saying. Ugh! I reach over and playfully punch him in the arm.

  "Are you going to make me beg? What did he say?" He's enjoying this way too much, because now he's laughing at me.

  "He asked me that if I married you would that make you his mom." Whoa!

  "What did you say to him? Because he is just 7, even though he acts like he's 17.”

  I told him that whoever I married would be his step mom and that I would hope that whoever I chose, he would love her as if she were his own mother." Whoever he chose?

  "That's a good answer. What did he say to that?"

  No way am I going to let him know that this upsets me, but honestly, for his age it was the right thing to say. No reason to get his hopes up if it doesn't work out between us. Who am I kidding? It has to work out between us. Not only would I be devastated to not be with Cash, but the idea of another woman coming in here and loving the children that I already feel are mine, would break my heart! And there's no way in hell that I will let another woman take my place with Cash!

  "Oh, he said a few things and had a few choices of who he wanted me to marry, but it was a private conversation between a father and son, so I should probably just keep it to myself. Ya know? I don't want to break his confidence or anything."

  A few choices? I feel absolutely devastated, like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I bet he's talking about Claudia. Kids have always adored her. Over my dead body will that happen. I would torture Cash and beat the living shit out of her and then kill them both with my bare hands.

  "Well, that's good. I was afraid he was onto us." I'm trying to speak normal and hold my temper. I thought Gideon felt about me the same way I did him. I love that child, as if he were my own already.