Leminscate as-2

by Jennifer Murgia

  I couldn’t imagine a tunnel stretching that far beneath our feet. The map didn’t show tunnels at all, just trees. Stealing a glance over to my car, I wondered if we could drive there? I had left the map in the car, assuming Brynn would be here. It didn’t show anything other than the church.

  This church.

  “Why are we going to a church that happens to be miles from here?” I tried to catch a glimpse of his face, but it was too dark.

  “We are not going to a church. We are going to what lies beneath the church, and it’s actually closer than you realize. These tunnels were dug three hundred years ago and the pilgrimage to the sacred ground at the other end had been by foot. We must follow in the same manner.”

  The number three rang in my ears. I stood staring from Hadrian’s shadowed face to the dark hole to nowhere he had just uncovered.

  “Long ago, humans blessed the earth their sanctuaries were built on. Not just the buildings themselves. It’s the oldest one within walking distance.”

  “But what about this one? The one we’re standing in? Or on rather.” I looked around at the ruin. Sadly, not much was left.

  “The one waiting for us is older, if you take in account the foundation and the earth it stands on. I’ll go first so I can help you down,” Hadrian offered, and he began hoisting himself above the opening that would swallow him whole.

  I peered inside. “I’m not so sure light is stronger than dark.” I shook my head and took a step back. “Um, I am not going down there.”

  Hadrian’s brows furrowed. He was resting his weight on his arms and half his body was already submerged in darkness.

  “You can and you will. Now come on.”

  I leaned over, trying to see past his torso, but I could see absolutely nothing.

  “Are you afraid of the dark, Teagan?” he asked, mockingly.

  “Maybe.”

  “But you are not afraid of me?”

  I answered him with silence.

  “You are a strange girl, indeed, Teagan McNeel,” he smirked.

  I sighed deeply and grudgingly placed my bottom on the cleanest looking side of the hole I could find. Slowly, I inched myself closer to the edge.

  In a blink he was gone, landing lightly onto what I assumed was the floor of the tunnel and the start of our mysterious journey to find Brynn. Meanwhile, I was silently kicking myself for rushing off without a flashlight. I looked down at my mark for reassurance. It seemed subdued and dim with absolutely no sign of warning, or impending danger. For now. I closed my eyes and let myself drop and his strong arms caught me as my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the tunnel. It only took a few moments, but I was reluctant to let go of him. His arms felt protective and strong. For a moment I could pretend I wasn’t about to face something even darker and stronger than Hadrian.

  He gently put me down and took my hand, pulling me along into an unknown that stretched out like a serpent before us. I jumped as a flash of light struck and Hadrian lit a crude torch with his bare hands. In the light of the flame, I could see the ground had been hollowed out. The walls of the tunnel had been worn down in spots, revealing clay patches throughout the hardened mud. Above us roots and vines protruded through the dirt ceiling. The image of spiders and other creepy, crawly things passed through my thoughts and I wrapped my arms around myself.

  “This has always been a sacred journey.” Hadrian’s voice sounded deep and strange to me as we walked. “Long before the settlers of this town arrived, a small group of people worshipped here. They came from the surrounding territories, walking for miles to get here. Some arrived on horseback, but in the end they, too, continued by foot.”

  “I would have kept the horse,” I muttered to myself.

  “It is believed that walking beneath the ground made you one with the earth. Coming out of the tunnel and breathing the fresh air honored the sky above, and crossing the river bed was to remind them of their birth. Finally, at the end of their journey, they lit the fire and celebrated their spirits being set free. It was an honored rite to make this journey, one that made them stronger and closer to the visible and unseen worlds around us.”

  I tried to imagine multitudes of feet trampling the same ground we were now walking on. I wondered what was at the end of the tunnel. More so, what I would find at the end of our journey.

  At last we reached a point where the ground sloped upward. Hadrian went first, still holding my hand, helping me out of the tunnel. We stood at the edge of the river bank for a moment. I was happy to catch my breath as I looked across the black water. Hadrian was right, it was refreshing to take large breaths of air now that we were out of the dank ground. I filled my lungs to capacity and found I couldn’t help but stare up at the beautiful sky. I didn’t know if this simple act was an act of devotion to the vastness above me, but it did make me feel alive and thankful. Staring at the stars and the thin wisps of cloud tracing across the night sky made me think of all I have been through and seen. And when a brilliant star caught my eye, I thought of Garreth and made a wish that I would find a way to fix things between us.

  “Come,” Hadrian urged once again. He stepped into the icy water and reached out to help me follow. I didn’t complain this time. Forcing myself down a dark hidden hole in the middle of the woods at night seemed far worse than wading across a river. Of course, I tried not to think of the fish and plant life slinking past my legs — or the squishy mud my feet kept sinking into. The water was freezing and I was shivering uncontrollably by the time we battled the current and reached the other side.

  Quickly, we made our way up the embankment and through the tall grass to another inconspicuous opening in the ground. I thought for sure retreating beneath the ground with soaking wet clothes and hair would make me feel even colder, if that was possible. But surprisingly, warm air blew invitingly from the opening. This tunnel had a more gradual slope, but from what I could tell, there seemed to be no end in sight. My shoes felt sloshy and disgusting, full of river water and goodness knows what else.

  My wet dress was heavy against my legs as we walked, and before long, my feet lost the will to do anything more than shuffle. I reached up, tucking a damp strand of hair behind my ear, and stifled the sigh that had been building deep in my chest. This journey would have been next to impossible without Hadrian. He walked steadily ahead of me, his presence constantly urging me to follow. I honestly had no idea how those people long ago had done it. If I had come alone, I would have plopped down on the ground a good ways back and given up.

  As the tunnel leveled out, I could see that the dirt wall had become smoother, and it now reflected an orange glow. The tunnel widened and we slowly crept closer toward an unusual, flickering light.

  “It must be the middle of the night now. We’ve been gone so long.” Worry threaded its way through me, and I thought of my mother. Hopefully Nate had called her to explain, although what he could tell her without making her freak out was beyond me. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, but there was no service here.

  “How far down are we?” Weary and somewhat annoyed, I shook my phone and held it high above my head, willing it to pick up a roaming signal.

  “About fifteen feet, give or take.” Hadrian’s voice was husky and deep as he let his hand glide along the wall, as if feeling the past speak to him through his fingers. I half expected him to stop and press his ear to the dirt and stones, pausing long enough to hear the secrets, but still, we moved along, trudging further beneath the ground. Then I realized the walls were faintly streaked with white.

  “What is that? Those marks on the wall?” I asked quietly.

  “Salt. The original worshippers believed that by blessing the ground with salt, evil could not cross it.”

  I wish it was that easy, I thought silently.

  Suddenly, Hadrian’s arm extended protectively in front of me and we abruptly stopped walking. I studied his face, but he was listening intently. I heard nothing, except the crackling of inviting flames, and my shivering
body yearned to keep moving until I was standing in front of the fire I knew was just around the bend.

  Slowly, we moved forward as the walls of the tunnel gave way to a large open room, like a stone antechamber. The space had a very old feel to it and I took note of the stones lining the walls around us; how they appeared rugged and inconsistent in their pattern as roots and vines pressed through the spaces within the aged mortar.

  A large fire burned in the middle of the floor, its warmth so enticing that I started to walk toward it, eager to thaw my frozen hands and feet and dry my sodden clothing. But Hadrian still held tightly onto my hand, refusing to come with me, keeping his back pressed against the cold wall. It was only then that I heard the sound of movement coming from the opposite side of the fire.

  A small figure crouched on the floor, tracing lines in the dirt. She rocked back and forth, humming quietly to herself, oblivious to the fact that we were watching. My heart lurched as she suddenly stopped, rising to her feet. Her bare arms were covered with long scratches, the same lines she had been tracing on the floor. Her hair was messy and her dress was smudged. My hand covered my mouth as she turned, and then I felt a pull. Hadrian was now stepping out from the shadows, and I had no choice but to follow into the light of the bright orange flames.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  The fire went cold.

  Sure, I was staring at it, watching the flames curl and extend toward the ceiling of the dank room, but it suddenly felt absent of heat.

  My entire body seemed to ice over, and strangely, my thoughts raced back to the unnatural cold I had felt in the closet of Brynn’s house. It was cold there when it shouldn’t be … like here. I felt as if my bones were about to crack, the air was so frigid. Brynn’s face was pale and her eyes were closed.

  Surprisingly, she seemed very small to me. She trembled with an anxiety I couldn’t put my finger on. A feeling of absolute terror seized me without warning. There was no sound, no visible reason for me to react this way, only the sight of Brynn stricken by something I wasn’t sure I wanted to understand. My legs felt the instinctive urge to run, but they were frozen.

  Last spring Hadrian was the darkest obstacle in my world, but this felt worse.

  Hadrian released my clammy hand, leaving me alone with my pounding heart.

  “What did you do, Brynn?” Hadrian’s voice pierced the air. Each word felt like a slice, hard and swift.

  Brynn turned her head, but either refused or was unable to answer Hadrian. The tension in the room was horrifying.

  “You let him in, didn’t you?” Hadrian’s voice bellowed and I felt myself shake against my will, no longer just shivering from the cold.

  Brynn’s hand swept quickly to her mouth, covering it. She opened her eyes and stared at Hadrian.

  My God, what could she have done?

  His knuckles were clenched as he crossed the floor in three strides and grabbed her by her shoulders, making her look like a tiny, limp doll next to his tall, lurking form. Hadrian could be formidable when he chose to and I could hear the stretching and tearing as his dark wings released themselves from his flesh, eager to expand.

  “A bargain?” Hadrian asked, his dark eyes frantically searching hers, yet she still didn’t respond. “What did you offer, Brynn? Tell me!”

  A high keening was beginning to bounce off the walls, and my arms answered the new sound with gooseflesh. I realized the sound was coming from Brynn. She was falling apart, shaking, whimpering. Her eyes bulged with irrational fear, but she wasn’t focused on Hadrian. She was oblivious and lost somewhere inside the depths of her own tortured mind.

  “You stupid … ,” his hand raised in the cold, light of the room, prepared to strike.

  “No!” I screamed. My voice echoed and fell. I braced myself against the hatred I would see in his eyes but he turned to me, ridden with agony instead.

  “You would save her?” Hadrian shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t you see?” He glanced at Brynn for a moment, then slowly faced me again, struggling to gain control of himself. His wings rippled with tension and at last fell silent and still by his side. His eyes were fixed with a sudden realization that confused and frightened me, and then with an ineffable sadness, he whispered, “You’re the pawn.”

  Hadrian let Brynn drop to the ground, shaking in silence, the pieces of herself fallen and lost with the words Hadrian had just set free. In their presence I felt bitterly alone.

  The whimpering started again and I wanted to tell her to shut up so I could hear myself think. With feverous speed I tried to make sense of this, but the ideas weren’t coming like I wanted them to. They were painfully slow and treaded through my mind like sludge. What was happening? Why was Hadrian staring at me so sadly? Why wouldn’t Brynn shut the hell up?

  My head hurt horribly and my hands shot up to my hair and my fingers grabbed and pulled. Everything came rushing past the sludge just then.

  Too fast.

  I desperately wanted to go home, or better yet, have Garreth here to calm me and take this horrible feeling away. But it was just as I had feared it would be in the end. Just me.

  A hum circulated through the air. An alien white noise. Buzzing. Hissing. I realized that Hadrian had turned back and was paying close attention to Brynn. She was chanting and rocking back and forth, completely unaware of her audience. Her arms wrapped tightly around her torso as if holding in the pieces.

  “He promised me.” The words spilled out of her mouth, splitting the cold silence. I could almost see the room ripple with her voice.

  “I could only pick one.” Her sentence cut short with laughter. “Could you blame me for picking the better of the two?”

  She sounded like such a little girl. Her beautiful pale face looked innocent as she went on about her choices. For all I knew she could have been talking about pairs of shoes or the school lunch menu.

  “What was the first choice, Brynn?” Hadrian prompted.

  She looked in his direction with unseeing eyes, miles and miles away from the room the three of us were standing in.

  “Solitary happiness.” She spoke as if we should know what she meant.

  “And the second?”

  Tears began to roll down her cheeks. For a moment I was stunned. I had never seen Brynn cry before and the sight of it startled me. It was so easy to forget she was human just like me. I felt time slow down and speed up in the same instant. All of a sudden I didn’t just know what her answer would be, I felt it.

  “She would come back to me.” Brynn’s mouth formed a tiny smile.

  “Who? Who would come back to you?” Hadrian asked, with impatience.

  She turned to him, deft awareness returning to her brown eyes.

  “My mother,” her voice rang with condescending innocence.

  At that precise moment, a chill swept through me and I heard a voice far away in my conscience.

  Give her what she seeks. Give her what she wants.

  The words echoed inside me. It was what Nate had said back in his study.

  Through my peripheral vision, I could see the outer spans of the room dimming. Shadow was closing in on us and I began to tremble.

  With a ripping snap, Hadrian’s wings spread wide open, casting Brynn and me in dark shadow. Panic was in the warm breeze wafting down on us from the fluttering of Hadrian’s enormous wingspan. My hand tingled with searing heat and I grabbed my wrist in pain. Never before had I felt my mark blaze with such ferocious warning.

  A hissing sound came to my ears through the quickly dimming room. I could see Brynn’s lips moving. She was chanting over and over to herself as she rocked back and forth. Her eyes were fixed and glazed.

  “Snuff the light … snuff the light … snuff the light …”

  Over and over she continued until my head was on the verge of exploding. I looked at my hand. My scrolled mark was shimmering with a white light.

  What was happening?

  I felt myself being pulled away from reality. Unexpectedly, th
e present came to a screeching halt, allowing a timeline of events to flash before my eyes. I saw Garreth in my head as he was the day he gave me his white, protective light, the very light that was supposed to save us from Hadrian. I saw Claire standing in the cemetery. I saw Hadrian slamming my father in the chest with a blue light. I saw my mother open the door to my bedroom and smile, but it was Brynn’s white sterile room, not mine. I saw Mathur condemning Hadrian to an eternity of misery. Above me, a black octagram swirled clockwise, its eight points blurring as it spun wildly out of control.

  My thoughts were muddled as the shadows grew closer. I felt a breeze warm like breath.

  I couldn’t feel my body and it felt wonderful. All the memories that hurt me throbbed and coursed out of my hand and trickled away. All I had held inside of me, all that was a part of me… my heart had been so full and now it was such a relief to feel it empty. I was moments away from losing consciousness and all I could think about was the delicious silence.

  I floated in a dark pool marbled with white light that rippled and threatened to disappear. Very slowly, the pain I felt came back in waves, bringing with it the white light, the blinding brightness of reality, for wasn’t the absence of color the symbol of death?

  If only I could be so lucky.

  With the growing light, the pounding in my skull worsened. My body felt fractured in a zillion places and I truly feared I would never feel the same again.

  Did I dare open my eyes?

  I waited for the darkness to return, an emptiness that was so comforting and still, but it refused, and now I could only feel this strange, trembling breeze.

  Brynn’s wailing had stopped. Maybe she passed out? That would be a good thing, I thought to myself.

  Gradually, new thoughts began to trickle through my brain. What did Hadrian mean when he confronted Brynn? Time warped for a moment as I watched him changing … his wings, dark and beautiful, how I remembered him from my dreams. He was frightening, but it was who he was.