Going, Going, Gone: Suzie's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  "What did she plan for me?" Susie hugged her pillow.

  "She always talked about a big wedding. A handsome son-in-law. Nietos preciosos."

  Susie blushed. "We can have a big wedding. Okay, maybe not at St. Catherine's, but we can still have a wedding. And, Papi, I can have children. Mami can have precious grandchildren." It may be Marlee having them, though, she thought, but didn't dare say it out loud. "I didn't choose this for myself, you know. It chose me."

  He nodded. "I just want you to be happy. Believe it or not, your mother does, too."

  "That's kind of hard to believe. She thinks I'm a child molester."

  "I'm sure she doesn't really think that."

  Susie shrugged. "I've known about myself for over three years. I didn't tell anyone until last year. And I didn't fall in love until I met--" her voice caught in her throat. Her lower lip quivered as she remembered the bad things her mother had said about Marlee.

  "I know, Princesa. I thought something wonderful had happened to you. You've been floating on a cloud lately."

  "I have?" She hadn't hid it as well as she thought.

  "Tu abuela saw it, too."

  "I know."

  "It's not exactly what either your mother or I had envisioned for your future, but I, for one, think Marlee is sweet. And her mother seems nice, too. I'm sorry you didn't trust me earlier to tell me."

  Susie felt her cheeks get warm. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you right now."

  "Me, too. For years I thought I'd be using one of your softball bats to chase the boys away."

  "See? I saved you all that trouble."

  He looked at her for a long moment. "Just be careful. I know they passed the gay marriage law in New York, but the world truly isn't that enlightened yet. I know I told you to stand up for yourself and not to cower to anyone, and I still mean that, but don't go looking for trouble. Don't flaunt it where you don't need to."

  "It sucks that I can't be myself all the time. Marlee and I know we have to hide sometimes. How did Mami figure out about me?"

  "Mrs. Johnson told her."

  "She did?"

  He nodded. "When she called to fire you that day."

  "Oh, nice."

  "I, however, figured it out on my own." He seemed pleased with himself. "Other people will, too. Just figure out who your real friends are."

  Susie nodded. "Thanks, Papi. But what are we gonna do about Mami? Because right now she feels like enemy number one. I don't want to run anymore." Before he could respond, she blurted, "I am officially asserting my right to stay. She can throw me out of the house in December when I turn eighteen, but for now I'm staying." She sat up and placed both feet flat on the floor.

  "As long as I am breathing, you will always be welcomed in my house." He laughed softly. "Or in the garage."

  She laughed with him. "Thanks, Papi. My feet can't take much more running."

  He frowned for her benefit. "How are they?"

  "Fine. I played tonight, and they didn't fall off."

  "Good." He stood up. "Your mother doesn't know about your feet yet. I think I'll give her all the details when I go back inside. It'll give her some insight into what you've been going through. If we give it some time, maybe we can flip that switch of hers and get her on your side."

  "I hope so because once that switch flips, we can go back to the way things were. I hope we can, anyway." It was reassuring to have her father in her corner. "I hope Mami can figure out a way to accept me."

  Her father nodded. "I think she will, but she has to think it through some more. And it has to be her idea." He headed for the door. "Wish me luck."

  "Good luck."

  He put a hand on the door jamb and turned to face her. "Call me anytime things get too much for you. If I'm on a business trip then go to Sam's or back to Marlee's. Somehow we'll work this out, okay?"

  Susie nodded. "I love you, Papi. Thanks for being on my side."

  He smiled. "Goodnight, mariposita."

  "'Night."

  He headed down the stairs, and she locked the door behind him. She pulled her cell phone out and said, "Marlee" into the voice dial.

  "Susie," Marlee answered the phone with a worried voice, "are you okay?"

  "I've been better, but my dad's in my camp, so I think I'll be okay. You can go on home."

  "Are you sure? Because, oh, man, I've been imagining all kinds of things over here."

  "I'm sure. I'll be okay." Susie flopped onto the bed and hugged her pillow with her free arm. "Are you still at the Stewart's?"

  "Yeah. I'm drinking a cream soda right now."

  "You are?"

  "Yup. Wishing I could share it with you. Hey, remember what I told you last time we were at Stewart's? When we were shopping?"

  Susie couldn't help the smile that crept up her face. "That you want to play house with me for real someday?"

  "I mean it."

  "Me, too, but we have one giant hurdle."

  "What's that? Or should I say, 'Who's that?'"

  "Enemy number one. Isabella Maria de Fatima Torres."

  Chapter Twenty

  Take No Prisoners

  SUSIE SAT IN the bleachers lacing up her cleats. Marlee sat to her left and Sam and Lisa to her right. They were playing in the late eight o'clock game against Grasse River that evening, so they sat waiting for Bree's Southbridge team to finish beating the Northwood Sharks. Northwood didn't have a home field, so they played all their home games at Sandstoner Fields in East Valley. Bree was pitching and, so far, throwing a one-hitter. She struck out a Northwood batter to end the bottom of the sixth inning.

  "Marlee," Susie said with a laugh, "you've gotta stop teaching that girl how to pitch."

  Marlee leaned in, so all her friends could hear. "I didn't. She's been striking those people out with her screwball, and I never showed her that pitch."

  "Speaking of screwballs, P," Sam said to Marlee twirling a finger near her ear and pointed toward Bree.

  Marlee smiled, but then looked back at the field. "I think Bree has a private pitching coach or something. She didn't need me at all."

  Lisa agreed. "There's no way she's gotten that much better with just the couple of things you showed her two days ago."

  "She obviously wants to impress you," Sam said. "To make you think your personal tutelage helped her improve."

  "Speaking of personal tutelage," Lisa teased, "has she called you?"

  "Or texted or emailed?" Sam added with a laugh.

  "She calls me on my home phone." Marlee leaned down to unzip her softball bag. "I never gave her my email or cell phone number. She asked me for them on Tuesday, but I couldn't do it. I mean I know I'm supposed to be giving her so much attention that she chokes, but it's creeping me out, guys. I'm not digging Plan D."

  Susie's grin faded. "Me, neither."

  "Bree's been strangely quiet tonight." Lisa's expression was serious.

  "Yeah," Sam said, "she hasn't once run by us or said anything to you."

  "Calm before the storm?" Susie suggested with a shrug.

  "Maybe." Marlee pulled her cleats out of her bag. "She was supposed to be history by now, wasn't she? I spent all that time with her on Tuesday, but she called me, like three times yesterday, and four today. She wants me to go somewhere with her tonight. Alone."

  "Hell no." Susie glanced at Bree swinging a bat in the on-deck circle. "Not while I'm still breathing." She lowered her voice. "Guys, it's time for Plan E."

  "I don't care what we do." Marlee rolled her eyes. "I just want everything to go back to normal." Sam leaned toward Susie, her hand on her chin. "Okay, master mind. Spill it. What's Plan E?"

  "It's like I've been saying. Giving in to what she wanted didn't feel right. I say we shouldn't give her any attention. Marlee, especially. None."

  "Just cut Plan D off right now?" Marlee's face was lined with confusion. "As much as I'd like to, she thinks we're pals now."

  "That's too bad," Susie said. "I'm sure she'll be h
anging around after the game waiting for you, so all you have to do is go up to her and say something like, 'I don't want you to call me anymore.'"

  Marlee sighed. "Do I have to?" She finished tying her cleats and reached back into her bag. The sudden look of surprise on her face made Susie curious.

  Marlee pulled her glove out of her bag and opened it. Inside was a small stuffed bear with a handwritten note attached. She looked at Susie. "This isn't your handwriting. Is this from you?" A look of confusion passed over her face.

  Susie shook her head. Sam and Lisa leaned in closer. "Is it from Bree?" Lisa wondered out loud.

  Marlee shivered and tossed the bear onto the bleacher in front of her. "I think it is. The handwriting looks like hers from the note she left on my windshield. When the hell did she sneak that in my bag? Man, this whole thing creeps me out."

  "Do you want me to read it?" Susie asked. When Marlee nodded, she reached down and opened the note. She kept her voice low, barely above a whisper. "It says, 'Where have you been all my life? Ever since I saw your picture in the newspaper, I've loved you.'"

  Marlee put a hand over her mouth, her expression clearly showing how upset she was. "Oh, God. I don't want to hear any more. Read the rest to yourself, and let me know if I need to run." She looked away.

  Susie read over the letter silently with Sam and Lisa reading over her shoulder. Bree's note outlined her imagined life with Marlee, which included sailing around the world, so they could be alone together forever. Susie shuddered. The girl was crazy. When they were done reading, Susie tucked the note in her own softball bag. She put an arm around Marlee. "Let's just say that I don't think this girl is sane. She didn't threaten to hurt you or anything like that, but her grasp on reality is a bit shaky. Do you guys agree?"

  Sam and Lisa nodded.

  Lisa looked at Marlee. "Plan E right away, okay?"

  Marlee didn't answer. She still looked like she was in shock.

  "Marlee?" Susie squeezed her shoulder with the arm still wrapped around her. "Plan E, okay?"

  Marlee blew out a sigh and nodded.

  "We never should have tried Plan D." Sam frowned. "I'm sorry I bullied you into it."

  "I had no idea such crazy people were out there." Marlee ran her fingers through her short blonde hair.

  Susie wanted to run her own fingers through Marlee's hair, to comfort her, but her arm around Marlee's shoulder was pushing it already. She remembered where they were and, after giving Marlee another reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, pulled her arm back. She remembered her father's advice. Don't look for trouble.

  Sam nudged Susie in the leg. "So how're the feet?" Bless Sam for changing the subject.

  "Believe it or not, my mother cleaned and redressed them yesterday. It was kind of our first step toward a cease-fire. She said my feet are practically healed. Oh, and Lisa?"

  "Yeah?"

  "My mother said that you and Marlee's mom did a great job cleaning up my feet."

  Lisa beamed and sat up taller. "Cool."

  Sam smiled at Lisa and then they leaned into each other. Susie smiled, too. It looked like Sam and Lisa had their own private way of hugging in public, too.

  Sam looked back at Susie, "And, the calf bruise?"

  "Good." Susie plunked her foot on the bleacher in front of her and turned her gloriously bruised calf for all to see.

  "Nice." Lisa touched the bruise. "The swelling went way down."

  "Isabella's touch."

  Lisa raised her eyebrows in question.

  "My mother."

  "She's a nurse, right?"

  Susie nodded.

  "So, how is public enemy number one?" Sam asked.

  "Well," Susie wasn't quite sure where to begin, "she's talking to me, but it's more like 'pass the milk,' or 'set the table.' We're at a standstill. I don't talk about it, and she doesn't ask."

  "Don't ask. Don't tell," Marlee said with a sigh. "I know your dad and grandmother are cool, but your mom? I still feel bad that I set her off like that just by breathing in her house, you know?"

  "Ooh, what happened?" Sam leaned in close. "Did you, like, kiss Susie right in front of her mother?"

  "No," Susie whacked Sam on the bicep.

  "Hey." Sam rubbed her arm.

  "You deserved that," Susie said to Sam. "Marlee didn't do anything but be her cute sweet charming self."

  "Oh, gag me. Too much sweetness around here." Sam groaned and got another whack from Susie for her commentary.

  "Tomorrow," Susie raised her eyebrows, "my mother and I are going shopping together. I am so not looking forward to being held captive in the car to and from Wal-Mart."

  Sam hooted. "We'll all be praying for you."

  Marlee and Lisa laughed. Susie rolled her eyes.

  "I don't know," Marlee said. "The way your mom flipped out makes me not want to come out to anybody. You know?"

  "Once bitten, twice shy," Lisa agreed. "My mom knows, but I still haven't come out to my dad yet. I mean my bio-dad knows, but not my real dad."

  "Neither of my parents know," Sam added. "And, I'm not sure they'll ever know."

  Susie cringed at the hurt look that passed over Lisa's face. She'd seen that same look in Marlee's eyes just a few short weeks before.

  "I'm not out to my mom yet," Marlee said with a defeated tone. "I'm kind of scared to."

  Susie patted Marlee's leg. "You know what?"

  "What?"

  "I think it'll be okay."

  "Really? Why do you think that?"

  "Your mom's cool. I have a feeling she'll be okay with it." Of course Susie didn't let on that Marlee's mother already knew.

  "But how do you do it? What do you say?" Marlee leaned closer to her friends. "I mean seriously. Like, Lisa, how did you come out to your mom?"

  "My mom came out to me, actually." Lisa laughed. "I mean, she dragged it right out of me. Remember when Sam and I were, well, you know," her cheeks turned bright red, "having our little misunderstanding?"

  Marlee nodded.

  "Well, she wanted to know why I was so down in the dumps, and she asked if I liked Sam. Really liked Sam." Lisa grinned. "William, my bio-dad? He just knew. His sister's queer, so he knew the signs, I guess."

  Susie smiled at Lisa and then turned to Marlee. "You could wait for your mom to ask you, but if the opportunity presents itself, I say go for it. Honestly, I think it's better if you tell her before someone else does. Like the way stupid Mrs. Johnson told my mother."

  "That was just wrong." Sam shook her head. "It wasn't any of her business."

  Susie whacked Sam on the arm for the third time that night. "When are you gonna come out to your own parents, muchacha loca?"

  "Never."

  "Denial anybody?" Susie stood up, and Sam whacked her. "Hey." Susie rubbed her arm.

  "I'm just getting even." Sam leaped up and bounded down the bleachers toward their home dugout. Bree's team had just beaten Northfork by a score of 9-0. Bree had held on to her one hitter.

  "Maybe you're right." Marlee reluctantly put the bear back in her bag. "Maybe I'll tell my mom, but I don't know when or how or where or what." She stood up and grabbed on to Susie's elbow.

  "You'll figure it out when the time comes." Even though Susie's feet were pretty much healed, she let Marlee help her navigate the bleacher steps. Everybody needed a little extra coddling now and then. "And what are you going to do after the game?" Susie cocked an eyebrow.

  "I know. I know." Marlee took a deep breath. "Plan E. Take no prisoners."

  Susie smiled, hoping that Marlee would have the cojones to stand up to Bree once their game was done.

  They reached the dugout gate, but Bree blocked the way. They couldn't get on the field unless she moved. It looked like Plan E was going to be implemented sooner than expected.

  "Miss me?" Bree flashed Marlee a toothy smile.

  Stay strong, Marlee, Susie willed.

  Marlee didn't say anything, but simply opened her bag and pulled out the bear. "I can't accept
this."

  "Oh, but he's so cute." Bree opened the gate to let them in.

  Marlee stepped onto the field, and Susie stood tall and strong by her side. "I can't take this from you," Marlee repeated and held the bear out, but Bree still didn't take it. "I don't think it's a good idea for us to, uh, hang out anymore, either."

  "What?" The hurt expression on Bree's face made Susie feel bad, but only for a split microsecond.

  Dios mío, don't back down now, Marlee, Susie encouraged silently. You can do this.

  After a few nerve-wracking moments, Marlee said, "We can't hang out, and you can't call me anymore, either."

  "Why not?" The tears in Bree's eyes were almost pitiable. "When did you stop liking me?" Her shoulders drooped.

  "I never liked you." Marlee turned to head toward the dugout. "Just leave me alone, okay?" She dropped the bear on the ground and walked away.

  Susie hustled alongside her. "Perfecta, mi vida. Well done," Susie whispered in Marlee's ear. She wanted to look back at Bree, but didn't dare.

  When they got in the dugout, Marlee let out the biggest sigh Susie had ever heard.

  "That sucked." Marlee shook her head.

  "Unfortunately, I don't think it's over." Sam pointed to the bleachers. Bree had settled down on the first row near the Nor'easters' on-deck circle.

  Susie didn't know whose groan was louder, hers or Marlee's.

  "Nor'easters," Coach Gellar barked, "bring it in."

  Susie and her friends hustled over to the team circle to hear the starting lineup. Susie sighed in relief. She was starting in left field again. Maybe her time in Coach's doghouse had ended.

  The game against the Grasse River Tomahawks was rather uneventful. Coach Gellar took Marlee out of the game after the third inning when it became clear that the Nor'easters were going to win by the mercy rule, which they did by a score of 15-0. Susie, miraculously, fell back under Coach Gellar's radar and things seemed to be back to normal.

  Susie fell in line behind Marlee as they high-fived the Grasse River team after the game. They had been keeping tabs on Bree as the game went on, and, sure enough, she still sat in the first row watching Marlee's every move.