Serenity

by Ava O'Shay

  Jolin looked past Quill to Akeo who shrugged in response to his silent question. What the hell was going on?

  Ren ran her fingers through her hair. “I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

  Jolin didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, but tone of the conversation made his stomach clench. Whatever she was doing, Quill didn’t approve. Quill’s parameters for trouble were pretty wide and it made him wonder what Ren could possibly be doing that would make him worry.

  Ren’s voice cracked. “You said you’d be there.”

  Quill took a step forward and wrapped his arms tightly around her, whispering something into her ear. She shook her head and returned the embrace. Akeo and Jolin turned and left them alone.

  Serenity

  Monday, October 21

  3:00p.m.

  “Did you think about the offer?” Brock slid his chair over to her desk. She cringed at the thought of Brock fine tuning the details of a date she no longer had a choice not to go on.

  “Are you setting me up to get my ass kicked?”

  “Looks like someone’s already kicking your ass.”

  “Fuck you.” Ren stood to leave but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back into her seat. “If I show up at their party, the cheerbots are going to massacre me.”

  “I’ll run interference.”

  “You said that before.”

  “And has anyone messed with you besides whatever shit you got into on your own?”

  “I’m not sleeping with him. And I don’t want him touching me.”

  “He knows.”

  “Or kissing me.”

  “That won’t fly. He wants a full package just short of sex. He definitely won’t do it without the making out part. He’s trying to show everyone he isn’t gay. You not kissing him is going to send up a red flag. If the school slut won’t kiss him then everyone is going to wonder what the hell is wrong with him.”

  Ren frowned. “What the hell is wrong with him?”

  Brock chuckled. “He probably is gay.”

  “Then what the hell am I doing? Let him be gay there isn’t anything wrong with it. Buy him some gay hooker and call it good.”

  Now it was Brock’s turn to frown. “It isn’t my decision whether he wants to play the gay card or not. Right now he wants to try out a girl and that girl is you. If he likes it maybe he can compromise and go for a bisexual label. How the fuck do I know.” Brock ran a hand over his hair. Ren’s stomach did a little flip as his small gesture reminded her of Jolin every time he got uncomfortable around her.

  Brock leaned in close to her face. “And I’m not sure what you think I have going on here but I don’t have a stable of whores in my back pocket to pull out a gay hooker for him.”

  “So am I your tester for whether you want to go run a corner down town. Am I helping fine tune your pimping skills?”

  Brock’s cheeks turned pink. Ren wasn’t sure if she embarrassed him or if he was getting really angry.

  “Look Ren. I’m doing you a favor. You’re in a shitty spot and I am the only thing keeping you and your fucked up family off the street. If you want to mouth off and give me a hard time I can take the deal off the table and you can figure out how your half ass job at the coffee shop is going to pay the rent.”

  “Okay…Jesus. I’ll kiss him. I’ll try not to hurl in his mouth.” Ren scooted away from him.

  “You’re such a lady.” Brock muttered.

  “Fuck you,” she snapped.

  “All in due time baby.”

  Ren suppressed the shiver that ran through her. Brock kept eluding to having sex with her, but so far all he’d done is sell her to his friends. She didn’t want to think about going further. Even if she’d clocked more time on her knees than any other girl in the high school…she was still a virgin. In some crack head noble way, her mom had drawn the line at sex, well at least by the traditional definition. She’d been touched in more ways than most could imagine and penetrated in areas not meant to be penetrated, but when it came down to it…she had yet to have sex. And she wasn’t going to let someone like Brock change that.

  “So, the same as before?” She looked up to make sure no one was listening.

  “Whatever you want.”

  Ren put her hands on the table and looked at him. “I want this month’s rent forgiven. Totally.” She ran her tongue over her lip ring.

  “Don’t you dare pull that ring into your mouth or I’ll take you in the bathroom right now and show you who’s in charge.” Brock leaned closer. The bell rang and everyone had filed out. It was just him, her and the teacher erasing the white board. “Full rent means you’ll owe me. Whatever and whenever… I call the shots.”

  Slowly, she sucked the ring into her mouth, never taking her gaze off his. He thought he was controlling her. Making her do what he wanted so she could survive. But he was wrong. With a flick of her tongue, she could take him to his knees.

  He groaned deep in his throat and leaned in. “You’ll pay for that,” he whispered into her hair. “Wait for him after the game. Outside the locker room.”

  “I’ll wait for him by his car.” Ren grabbed her bag and headed out the door. “I will not stand with the skanks waiting. I’m on a different level, and that’s why he wants me.”

  “I’ll tell him.” She heard before she got swept into the masses of the hallway.

  Ren felt the hand on her elbow and waited for it to slip by, but when it grasped harder and pulled to stop her, she swung around ready push whoever it was away.

  “Hey.” Jolin held his hands up defensively. “Don’t hit me.”

  Jolin

  Monday, October 21

  3:30 p.m.

  Jolin waited outside Ren’s last class. Regardless of whatever shit went down over the weekend, they needed to get this lab report done or graduation was out of the question.

  Ren walked past him without a second glance.

  “Hey. Wait up.” He jogged to catch up.

  Ren ignored him so he caught up and grabbed her elbow. She turned on him with fire in her eyes. He dropped her arm like a hot coal and backed up. The image of her kicking the crap out of Quill was still fresh in his mind.

  “Don’t hit me.”

  Recognition slowly set in, and she relaxed. “I wasn’t going to hit you.”

  The rush of the crowd carried them toward the exit. It was impossible to talk while being pushed and shoved so he reattached himself to her arm and pulled her to the side once they made it into the daylight.

  “You’re stalking me again.” Ren squinted into the sun.

  Jolin laughed. “I’m your lab p-p-partner. We aren’t allowed to be st-st-stalkers.”

  She turned away and readjusted her bag.

  Today’s outfit was similar to the one she wore the first day they studied. Black on black with a flannel shirt tied at her waist. The T-shirt she had on was thread bare, and he could see her black bra underneath. He assumed she wore the flannel over the T-shirt for biology this morning or Mr. Carson would have kicked her out again. He’d been at physical therapy so hadn’t had the honor of watching their show down. A breeze blew her hair, and her vanilla scent floated toward him. His body began to tingle. He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his hoodie and hoped everything stayed where it belonged.

  “We’re kind of b-b-behind on our project, and Mr. C-C-Carson has us d-d-down for a check in day next Monday. I thought you c-c-could come over. We can watch some of the show I was t-t-telling you about and do some research online. My m-m-mom would love to have you stay for d-d-dinner. I can take you to work if you need me t-t-to.” Jolin stepped back and tried to calm his breathing.

  She raised her eyebrow. The sun caught her piercing and sparkled. He couldn’t stop himself from dropping his gaze to her lips.

  “I told you to write up your part, and I’d do my own.” She scuffed her boot in along the sidewalk. “You don’t want more rumors.”

  “I don’t give a shit ab-b-bout the r-r-rumors.
We have to work t-t-together, and we need a c-c-computer. And I need to eat. We could go to your house…”

  She cut him off. “We can’t go to my house.”

  “So we’ll go to mine.”

  Ren looked over her shoulder out into the parking lot like she was looking for someone. When she didn’t find them, she turned back around. “Okay.”

  “Great,” he said before she could change her mind. “Let’s b-b-bounce.”

  “Let’s bounce?” She laughed following him to his car.

  Jolin did his ritual of manually unlocking the car and started the engine. “So you and B-b-brock are what? D-d-dance partners?”

  Ren’s hand froze with her seatbelt half across her body. Then quickly she pulled it over and snapped it. “Yeah. Something like that.” She pulled her bag close into her chest and started picking her fingers.

  “Kind of weird he’d trade lab p-p-artners if you’re friends.”

  She looked out the window, ignoring him.

  Jolin pulled into the long line of cars waiting to exit. “Especially if you’d already s-s-started the p-p-project.”

  “Maybe he was being nice. So you didn’t have to work with your ex.”

  Jolin glanced over at her. “Yeah. I know B-b-brock. He isn’t nice. Ever.”

  “Why would I know why Brock does anything?” Her words shot at him like daggers.

  He tried to change the subject. “I looked for you at lunch. Wanted to explain why I wasn’t in class. See how the rest of your weekend went after your scuffle with Quill.”

  Ren didn’t answer.

  “You were kicking the shit out of him.” Jolin turned onto the road and headed to his house.

  Ren made a weird sound, but kept with the silent treatment.

  “You said Quill didn’t give you the bruises?” he asked.

  Ren shot him a look to kill. “Stop. Just stop.” Her voice was a mere whisper.

  He wanted to push. He wanted to know the shit Akeo wouldn’t tell him. Akeo may not consider her a friend, but he sure knew a lot more about what was going on than he did. Probably because he paid attention to people other than the popular crowd.

  “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

  Ren snorted and ran her hands over her face. “God, Jolin. Stay out of my life. Go back to Elizabeth and live your happily ever after in your castle. All I want is to finish the fucking project and never have to talk to you again.”

  Jolin sucked in a breath at her harsh words. “You don’t mean that,” he whispered.

  “When you know me, really know me and not the person you are trying to make me… you won’t want to talk to me anymore anyway.”

  “I disagree.”

  “You aren’t a saint, Jolin. You want what everyone does. You want to be accepted. I can’t give you that. I’m the opposite of that. Just leave me alone.”

  He wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to come to his house if she wanted him to go away so bad.

  His mom’s car sat in the driveway when they pulled up to the curb.

  “Looks like Mom’s home.” He pulled the handle to open the door, but it stuck. “Dammit,” he muttered, then shoved his shoulder into it. “Shit.” It didn’t budge. He caught Ren watching him out of the corner of his eye. Then he jammed his leg into the door, finally getting it open. “Cold air makes it stick,” he mumbled.

  “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

  Ren followed him up to the door. She pulled the flannel shirt from around her waist and slid her arms through the sleeves. Then she buttoned it up enough to cover her bra and tied the long shirt tails in a knot at her waist. “What?” she asked when she noticed him staring.

  “Nothing.” He smiled.

  “Your mom’s home. I don’t want her to get the wrong impression.”

  “What impression were you trying for before?” He laughed, then held up his hand to stop the words he saw forming. “Do not tell me to fuck myself,” he whispered. “Good impressions and all. Need to clean up that language. Don’t swear in front of my mom,” he teased and opened the door. Sweeping his hand in front of him, he invited her in.

  “I know how to act. I have manners.” Ren glared at him, but led the way into the house.

  “Jolin is that you?” his mom yelled.

  “No it’s a m-m-mass m-m-murderer come to steal your jewels,” he yelled back, then shrugged at Ren. “I’m the only other p-p-person living here. I don’t know why she asks.”

  Ren gave him a little smile. He loved that he could make it appear.

  His mom leaned her head out of the kitchen door. Probably about to give him a comeback for his smart ass comment, but her words stopped when she saw Ren. Her hands held a dishrag she tossed back into the kitchen before she came into the hall. “Hi. I’m Jolin’s mom.” She held her hand out.

  Ren hesitated before putting her hand out. His mom dropped her gaze just before she grasped it, thank goodness, because Ren’s knuckles were a scabby mess. How had he missed that after she punched Quill Saturday morning? It didn’t look like she had done much to clean them up.

  “Oh my,” his mom blew out.

  Ren pulled her hand back, cradling it in her other arm. “Just tripped. No big deal.” She let out a strangled laugh.

  Jolin’s mom straightened. “Well lucky for you I’m a nurse so I can clean you up like new.” She put on her happy work face. Jolin’s mom worked in the ER and the children’s trauma unit of the hospital, which unfortunately made her voice turn into a kindergarten teacher whenever she was taking care of him.

  “I’m fine. Please don’t bother.” Ren backed away but stepped on Jolin’s foot, which had her turning around and backing into his mom. She was like a caged animal.

  He took her shoulders and leaned in. “She isn’t going to let us get anything done until she looks at your hand. Let’s go in the kitchen and get something to drink and snacks for studying.” He directed her through the entryway and into the kitchen then settled her on a stool by the counter.

  “Really I’m fine,” she repeated.

  Jolin’s mom appeared with a first aid kit while he headed for the fridge.

  “It looks like it’s pretty clean so I’ll just put some peroxide on it to kill any extra germs. His mom set a towel under Ren’s had and poured the liquid over her opened knuckles.

  “Holy shit,” Ren yelled and yanked her hand away. When she realized she cussed in Jolin’s mom’s face, she turned bright red. Stuttering, she tried to apologize. “I am so sorry… it just sort of flew out. I’m sorry.” Her gaze went from his mom back to Jolin. He couldn’t help it, and he started to laugh. His mom joined in and pretty soon so did Ren.

  “Don’t worry. Jolin can be pretty colorful when he wants to.” His mom pulled Ren back to the stool and used a cotton ball to dab at the cuts, blowing on the wound. Jolin rolled his eyes and began to get some chips and popcorn ready for studying.

  “So, what are you guys studying?” Mom started her casual quest for information.

  “We’re lab p-p-partners.” Jolin cringed when Ren sent him a distressed look over his mom’s shoulder. “For b-b-biology.”

  “Are you staying for dinner? I’d love to have you.”

  “I don’t want to intrude.” Ren lifted her hand so his mom could wrap clean bandages around.

  “I love meeting Jolin’s friends. It’s spaghetti night, and I always make too much.” She chuckled to herself.

  “We end up eating it for the n-n-next week,” Jolin agreed and wrapped an arm around his mom in a half hug. “It’s a sure fire way to get Dad to stop by though.”

  Jolin’s mom smiled. “That it is. He runs by on Tuesdays to get my famous spaghetti and check in on Jolin. But I can send left overs home with you this time.” My mom brightened at the thought of feeding another. “There. All better.” Mom patted Ren on the shoulder and went to the cupboard, pulling out a pan to start dinner. “Ren.” She hummed to herself. “What’s your last name?”

  “Diaz.” Ren stood and grabbed her b
ook bag from the floor. She shot Jolin another look, pleading with him to save her from his mom.

  He smiled, but didn’t move to help out. Maybe his mom could get more information from her.

  “Serenity Diaz,” Jolin offered but regretted it almost instantly when he saw the pained expression on Ren’s face.

  “I prefer Ren.”

  He could almost hear the wheels in Mom’s head spinning.

  He decided to help her out a little more. She knew something but was having trouble pulling the memory out. “We went to elementary school t-t-together.” Jolin grabbed the bowl of chips and soda and lightly pushed Ren out the door toward the living room.

  From inside the kitchen, he heard his mom’s soft voice. “Oh. Serenity Diaz.”

  He’d track her down later to figure out what she remembered.

  Serenity

  Monday, October 21

  4:00 p.m.

  It was clear Jolin’s mom was trying to figure out where she knew Ren from.

  Ren knew.

  Ren figured it was easier for her to remember an already grown woman than it was for Jolin’s mom to try and place an eight year old, nine years later. Ren’s hair was blonde and stringy back then. Lacking the rainbow of colors she enjoyed now. Not to mention her black eyeliner, piercings, and tattoos. But the name would ring a bell soon enough. Names drugged out hippies choose for their kids tended to stick in peoples’ heads.

  Ren appreciated the kindness she showed when she fixed her hand. She was equally kind helping Ren in the hospital all those years ago. She sat with her during the exam… and after, when the cold policewoman asked Ren questions she didn’t understand. His mom held her hand and tried to explain what the police wanted.

  Ren shouldn’t have punched Quill the other day. She knew better. Punches always left her in more long term pain than him. This certainly wasn’t the first time they’d had a knock down drag out fight and probably wouldn’t be the last.

  Jolin placed a laptop on the coffee table in front of them and slid to the floor, situating the drinks on each side of the computer and the chips on the floor next to him.

  “C-c-come on I’ll introduce you t-t-to the Orangutans.” He tugged at her pant leg. “Come on.”