Serenity

by Ava O'Shay

  Ren slid to the floor next to him. The computer screen lit up, and he scrolled through some sites until he found what he was looking for. Then he grabbed his soda, a handful of chips, and settled in. She glanced over then grabbed her own drink. She rarely drank soda. Water was free. So was the coffee at The Perk. The bubbles reminded her of a time Quill and she shared a Coke on the front porch of a visitation house. Initially they’d been placed in different foster homes, but they were brought together a few times a month.

  Jolin nudged her with his shoulder, breaking her daydream. “That’s Chen Chen. He’s my favorite. He looks after the little one.”

  “They’re cute.”

  “Yeah but don’t be tricked by their looks. Pay attention to the system they have. They were released into a sanctuary after being raised by humans. Now the research team is watching to see if on their own they can develop a hierarchy. A system from scratch.”

  She couldn’t help but smile. Jolin hadn’t stuttered once when talking about the monkeys.

  He glanced at her, looked away then snapped his head back to stare at her. ‘You’re smiling.”

  Ren’s smile slid away at his words. She brought the can to her lips and turned her attention back to the show.

  “You’re exquisite when you smile.”

  “You want Elizabeth back. Don’t be dragged down by the peasants.”

  Jolin frowned and turned back to the computer screen.

  Ren closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn’t get compliments very often. In fact the last one she got was from Brock on her excellent blow job abilities. Usually compliments were followed by requests. She held his words tight. Hoping he wouldn’t disappoint her and ask for something in return. Nice words came at a high price. But he didn’t say anything more. Except to ramble on about the orangutans.

  After three episodes, Jolin’s mom finally called them to dinner.

  They had a small dining room between the kitchen and the living room. Plates were set out and silverware was neatly lined up on napkins. The smell took her breath away. She hadn’t eaten a real meal since her grams died. In fact, she hadn’t really eaten since the hamburger Jolin bought her the other day.

  “Sit. Sit.” Jolin’s mom ushered them to the table. Jolin sat across from her and his mom sat at the head of the table. Plates were passed around and his mom piled noodles and meat sauce on her plate along with garlic bread. Quill would die for this meal. He loved garlic bread. She’d barely taken her first bite when his mom dropped the first bomb.

  “Did you call to let your mom know you were staying? I’d hate to have her worried about you.” She spun noodles on her fork.

  Ren swallowed then answered. “She won’t worry.”

  “Ren’s a t-t-twin.” Jolin happily added information to the conversation.

  “Oh really. What’s his name?” Ren could hear the effort in her voice. She was trying hard to keep our secret.

  “Quill.” Ren was losing her appetite.

  “Tranquillity,” Jolin piped in. Ren shot him a nasty look, but he was oblivious to what he was doing to her insides. “Weird huh.” He shrugged.

  “My mom was a little eccentric.” She tried to smile, but it froze before it made it all the way to her cheeks.

  Jolin met Ren’s stare from across the table and winked at her. He must have noticed the strain on her face because he stopped adding information to her resume. She hoped he understood how uncomfortable he was making her.

  Dinner conversation moved to their project, and the opportunity to talk about orangutans made Jolin’s face light up. He was extremely passionate about these animals.

  Jolin’s mom smiled easily and really listened to him when he talked. Ren didn’t say much through the meal, she was enamored by the banter between Jolin and his mom and the connection they had. Finally, Jolin stood and gathered their plates. “Mom c-c-cooks I d-d-do the dishes. That okay with you?”

  “Yeah. I’d be happy to help.” Ren was eager to pay her back for the food in a much more conventional way than Brock required.

  “While you two clean up, I’ll wrap some of the leftovers for you to take to your brother. Then I need to get ready for work.” She leaned into Jolin and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It was nice meeting you Ren. I’d love to have you over again.”

  “Thank you for everything, Mrs. Daniel.” Ren’s words held more appreciation than his mom would ever know.

  Jolin cocked his head toward the kitchen. She followed.

  He filled the sink with soapy water, immersing the plates in the suds. “W-w-want to wash or d-d-dry?”

  Jolin’s sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and hidden under the warm water. Absently Ren ran her hand over her covered knuckles. “I better dry.”

  “Yeah you shouldn’t get the b-b-bandage wet.” He smiled over his shoulder and went to work.

  They didn’t talk much while he washed and she dried. He hummed softly to himself as he scrubbed.

  When they placed the last plate on the shelf, she checked her watch. “I have to be at work by eight.”

  “Not a p-p-problem. I told you I had you c-c-covered for the night.” Jolin wiped the left over bubbles out of the sink then folded the towels.

  “Thank you for c-c-coming.” He leaned his elbows on the counter.

  “I need to go.” She started to walk away, but Jolin caught her arm.

  “Why are you scared of me?”

  Ren snorted. “I’m not scared of you,” she lied. She was terrified.

  “Yes you are.” Jolin released her. “Let’s g-g-go.”

  “I’m not afraid of you,” she repeated, following him. One day he would find out what she’d agreed to do. That’s what she was afraid of.

  Jolin

  Monday, October 21

  7:30 p.m.

  They got to The Perk with plenty of time to spare. He parked off to the side of the store front and turned off the engine. “We should d-d-do this again t-t-tomorrow?”

  Ren shook her head. “I have to work after school.”

  He tried not to show his disappointment. “Are you going to the football game?”

  Ren snorted a laugh. “No.” Her response made it sound like he was crazy for asking.

  “What? It’s the all-American p-p-pass time.”

  “Isn’t that baseball?”

  “At our high school it’s the Friday Night Lights. The feel of the c-c-cold air on your face and the b-b-band playing p-p-pep songs. The cheerleaders….” He let his monologue trail off when she shot him a dirty look. “Sorry. I know that’s a sensitive area.”

  “They are horrible people. I won’t apologize for saying that. I know you date one of the hellcats.”

  “Dated. We aren’t together anymore.”

  “Not by your choice.” Ren sighed. She was being a bitch. “I’m sorry she hurt you.”

  Jolin shrugged. He wasn’t really sure he was hurt. More like pissed she wanted to use him and probably never really cared about him in the first place. “She didn’t want to feel bad for not caring I got hurt.”

  “That’s cold.”

  “Yeah. Akeo is helping me see I was just as b-b-bad before the accident. I’m in counseling with him.” Jolin laughed.

  “You weren’t that bad.” She tried to sound sincere.

  “You aren’t that great of a liar. But thanks for trying.”

  “Will you play again?” Ren asked.

  He shook his head. “She said she couldn’t date me if I didn’t play. It’s like a rule in the creed of cheerleaders. Said I was ruining her chance at homecoming.”

  “I’m sorry. About the football. It means a lot to you.” It started to drizzle.

  He shrugged again. He hadn’t talked about his accident with anyone. Elizabeth broke up with him before he even had a chance to process it. “What d-d-doesn’t k-kill you makes you st-st-stronger.”

  Ren turned and smiled at him. Not her megawatt smile, but enough of one that his heart felt like it was being squeezed
. “Yeah?”

  “That’s what they s-s-say.”

  “Well sometimes the killing gets a little close. Maybe it would be easier just to give up,” Ren muttered.

  “What happened to you Ren?” Jolin whispered.

  “Hanging out with me is killing your rep.” Her words surprised him.

  She wasn’t going to tell him what happened. He still had his doubts it wasn’t Quill, but she wouldn’t rat him out.

  “I d-d-don’t have a rep anymore.”

  “But you want it back.” Her gaze flashed up at him, challenging him to disagree.

  “Not like I have much choice anymore.”

  “But you’d do anything to get it back. You’d do things you knew were wrong to get your place in the school back.” He expected her words to be accusing but instead they seemed to be explaining something, something he wasn’t clear on.

  “Yeah. I did. But I don’t want to go there again. It’s better to take what I get and not lower myself to the level needed to pull myself out of social suicide.”

  “Yeah. The crowd seems to dole out who’s in and who’s out…who’s the school slut. Who’s not worthy of their time.” She laughed dryly.

  He didn’t know how to react to her calling herself a slut. It was one thing to have the cheertators call her one, but another when she embraced it. He never paid attention to the stuff they said. And now he didn’t believe most of it. What they said about him was wrong so he assumed most of their Intel was wrong. Elizabeth spread rumors about his holier than thou reputation because she didn’t want it to get out they were having sex. If his image was tainted, hers would be, too. But it wasn’t him. Jolin wasn’t a troublemaker, but he certainly wasn’t on his way to the priesthood. Everyone thought he was the second coming. At least until the accident.

  A silence filled the car. She wasn’t trying to escape and he kind of wished she would. He was at a loss. Finally, he started to laugh. He tried to hold it back but it exploded out of his mouth.

  “Why is that funny?” She looked at him like he was crazy.

  “It’s just…” he couldn’t finish.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You screamed shit in my mom’s face.” Jolin scrunched down into the seat and let the laughter flow. “No one has ever done that before.”

  Slowly…very slowly…Ren’s shoulders started to shake and she laughed along with him. Then she punched him in the shoulder. Luckily it was his good shoulder.

  “You’re still an asshole.” She pulled the handle of the door, this time it released her. Jolin pulled himself together enough to catch the strap of her bag before she was completely out. He wiped his tear stained cheeks and stopped laughing.

  She turned to look at him.

  “Ren. You aren’t a slut. Not even close.” He let go of her bag.

  She stood in between the door and the car. All he could see was the middle of her body. Finally, she bent over and looked in the car. “You’re just my lab partner, what do you know.” She slammed the door and walked away. Jolin let himself fall back into his seat. He couldn’t figure her out.

  He drove back home, ping ponging ideas through his head. He was surprised to find his mom still there.

  “Hey I thought you were g-g-going to work.” His mom sat in the kitchen with her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.

  “I called Natalie and asked her if I could come in an hour later.”

  “What’s wrong? D-d-did something happen? Dad?” This was her stance for all serious talks. Last time she sat like this he’d missed his curfew and was drunk. The time before she’d told him she and dad were getting a divorce. He went through the last few days trying to remember if he’d done anything. Other than the activity with Ren in his room earlier in the week life had been pretty boring.

  “Everyone is fine. Sit down for a minute. I want to talk to you.”

  Jolin slid onto a stool and braced himself for the news.

  “I remember Ren when she was little.”

  He laughed with relief.

  “Why is that funny?” She looked confused.

  “I thought you were g-g-going to t-t-tell me I had a b-b-brain tumor or you had cancer.” He ran a hand over his hair.

  “I know her from the hospital.”

  Brain cancer might have been a better option. “Oh. Shit,” he mumbled and dropped his head in his hands.

  “From the ER?” Jolin asked hopefully.

  “No. From the Children’s Trauma Center.”

  “Fuck.”

  Serenity

  Friday, October 25

  9:00 p.m.

  It was cold outside. The game ended over forty-five minutes ago and most of the players already gathered their cheer whores and left for the party. Ren decided if she was the holy grail of blow jobs she should dress the part, but now she was freezing. Her skirt was so short across her crotch anyone standing in front of her would wonder how she wasn’t totally flashing her pussy to the world. The back sloped down into a poofy train, ending just above the back of her knees. It made her look like a bar maid from an old western. She’d put on her knee high boots and tightened the tops with thin brown belts so they would stay secure on her thighs. She had a form fitting brown cotton shirt under a short sleeved blouse so her forearms would be covered. She pulled the braid from work, out and let the waves that had formed fall loosely over her shoulders. She had applied her make up a little darker than normal, since it was an evening date. Quills words flashed through her mind. She was asking for trouble dressing this way. But tonight she was in control. At least for the date. She could only guess at the wrath the cheer whores would dole out. Ren used her body to take what little control men had. The deal with mom’s boyfriend was something completely different, and it wouldn’t happen again. She’d already decided to use what little money she still had from Brock to buy a container of mace. He would never lay his hands on her again.

  She was beginning to wonder if Ty changed his mind, so she texted Brock.

  What’s up? He isn’t coming.

  I’ll check. He responded almost immediately.

  She hopped from one foot to the other and pulled an old sweater out of her bag. She hadn’t wanted to wear it, but she was getting frost bite. Finally, her phone buzzed.

  He’s coming. Let me know in 5 if he’s a no show.

  Eventually Ty came walking out of the locker room. He looked as excited about this date as she felt. Maybe he was gay. It made her smile to think she made a big lineman on the football team nervous. Ren pushed off the car and walked toward him. Apparently she was going to be the guy in this mini relationship.

  “Hey, Ty.”

  He raised his chin and gave her a nod.

  “Ready to head out?”

  He nodded again. Great, if he wasn’t going to talk to her, this evening was going to end early.

  Ty pushed a button and the locks clicked open. She chuckled to herself at how easy it was to get into his car and how Jolin was always running around to unlock the manual doors of his car. Or making her climb over the driver’s seat to get out. She slid in and started rubbing her legs, trying to get some warmth going.

  Ty threw his stuff in the back then got in and started the car. He turned the vents toward her and cranked up the heater. At first it made it colder, but soon warm air filled the car and she regained feeling in her toes. If it had been Quill’s car they could have drove to the next town and still be waiting for the heat to come on.

  Ty didn’t take the car out of park. “You know what I paid for?” His voice was deeper than she’d expected. She’d never actually talked to him before.

  “Yeah.” She pulled at the hem of her skirt to make sure she was covered.

  “I won’t walk in with you. I don’t want them to think we’re together. It needs to look like a hook up.”

  “I doubt they’ll think we’re together,” she snorted.

  “You ruined what little rep Jolin had left. I don’t want that happening to me.” It was bec
oming clear he wasn’t nervous about the date he was nervous about being seen with her.

  “Then why don’t I blow you here in the car. Someone’s bound to start some rumor even if we go in her house seperatly.” She couldn’t believe she was considered such a plague to popularity. “And just for the record. Jolin and I are lab partners.”

  He lowered his head on the steering wheel. “Brock said it had to be at the house.” Ty sat up. “Brock told me I needed to get laid.”

  Ren’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Not by me.”

  “He said you’d do whatever I wanted.” Ty seemed to want to argue his point, which was stupid because she’d made it clear she wasn’t having sex.

  “Yeah that would be no.” Ren smoothed her hair back.

  “So what did I pay for?”

  He was a dick just like the rest of them. She needed to get a few drinks in her if the plan was going to include anything other than a kick in the balls.

  “Look. You paid for a blow job, but that’s determined by what happens between now and then, and you’re an asshole.”

  “I already paid,” he snapped then lowered his voice. “There’s a rumor going around that I’m gay. Brock said if I hooked up with you it would stop.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Are you?”

  “You’re a bitch.”

  “And you’re a dick.” Ren shrugged.

  “I paid for the best fucking blow job and that’s what I better get,” he mumbled before backing up and driving out of the parking lot.

  “You better watch your attitude, Sparky, because in a few hours I’m going to have your dick in my mouth, and you wouldn’t want to lose it.” Good Lord he probably was gay and she was somehow supposed to suck the gay away. This just kept getting better and better. There was a throne in hell waiting for her.

  Ty slammed the breaks on. Ren stuck her arms out to brace against the dashboard. Ty reached over and grabbed the back of her hair, snapping her head back against the seat.

  “Watch your mouth you fucking bitch. Watch what you say and watch what you do tonight. If you ruin my rep by being a bitch and if it isn’t the best you’ll pay in other ways.”