Finding Our Forever

by Brenda Novak

  Once the karaoke started, Cora tried to ignore the bothersome, overbearing and balding Doug and went to the mic to sing “Jolene.” On subsequent trips she performed “I Hope You Dance” and “Wrecking Ball.” After that, Darci, Doug and several others kept prodding her to get up again. Some people even made requests—and a table of four men, who hadn’t been part of their group but had come in later, started sending her drinks.

  “Those guys are really into you,” Doug said. “But of course they would be. Who wouldn’t like a gorgeous woman like you?”

  Cora couldn’t help leaning away from his sour breath. He was getting so close when he talked it felt as if he was trying to look down her blouse.

  Catching her recoil, Darci gave her a nudge. “I think it’s time for Doug to go to bed, but...he can’t drive in that condition.”

  No, he couldn’t. Someone had to see that he got home safely, and Cora was the obvious choice. They lived right next door to each other, after all—and Sean had already left. “Is there any way we could call him a taxi or even an Uber?” she whispered back.

  Darci laughed at the question. “Not in this small of a town. There’s no such thing here. But if you’d rather not take him, I will.”

  Cora couldn’t ask her new friend to go twenty minutes out of the way. Darci had already told her that she lived in town. “No, I’ll do it. Just...help me get him to my car, okay?”

  “Sure, I can do that.”

  They had no trouble persuading Doug that he shouldn’t drive, not once he learned he’d be riding with her—and that she’d bring him back to get his car in the morning. At that point, Cora forgot about Elijah. She was too intent on stopping Doug from copping a feel as she and Darci helped him outside. She’d just unlocked her car so they could put him in the passenger seat when Elijah came out of the pizza parlor along with the man she’d guessed was Gavin.

  Darci said good-night to them, so Cora looked up and said the same. She expected the brothers to go on their way, possibly to a bar if they weren’t ready to go home for the night, but “Gavin” waited on the curb while Elijah came around to where they were trying to get Doug in the car.

  “Here, I’ll take him.” Slipping Doug’s arm around his neck, Eli started to cart the math teacher off.

  Cora was so relieved she almost couldn’t hide it. “Are you sure?”

  “Why would I go home with you when I could go home with her?” Doug protested, his voice overloud and his expression bordering on belligerent.

  “Because I’m not giving you any choice,” Elijah said, and that was the end of it. Cora was fairly certain Doug knew better than to balk, that he’d be stupid to try to stand up to Elijah, because he didn’t object again. “Gavin” met his brother and took hold of Doug’s other arm, and Cora was left to drive home alone.

  “That was nice,” she said on a long exhale.

  Darci smiled as if she was holding something back. “What?” Cora asked.

  “Eli could tell you weren’t comfortable, that you didn’t want to take Doug home.”

  She straightened. Of course she didn’t want her drunk octopus of a neighbor in the car with her. But Darci was intimating something more than that. “What do you mean? Elijah was clear across the room. How would he know anything?”

  “You’re kidding, right? He’s been watching you all night. Every time I glanced up, he had his eyes on you. I’ve known him for a year and have never seen him so focused on a woman. I think Doug got a little too close to what Eli wants himself.”

  “That’s not true,” Cora argued. “Eli was simply being a stand-up guy by putting me out of my misery—knew he was better equipped to handle Doug in his current condition than I am.”

  “If you say so.” Her singsong voice indicated she didn’t believe that at all, but she didn’t belabor the point. “It was great spending time with you,” she said. “I’m glad you’ve come to town. What with the divorce and dealing with my ex since I moved here, it’s been hard to make friends. And now it’s too late to be that new girl who gets introduced around. So...I’m happy to meet someone who’s starting fresh and might be open to getting to know me.”

  “I’m definitely open to that,” Cora said.

  “Even though I’m quite a bit older than you?”

  Cora waved her words away. “Age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship.”

  “That takes care of that, then. Now maybe I’ll have someone to do something with when the weekends roll around and my kids are with their dad.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be looking for a chance to get off the campus.” She waved as Darci walked down the street to her car, but her mind wasn’t on her new friend. She kept mulling over what Darci had said about Elijah, and realized she was right. Elijah wasn’t just being a good guy in general when he took Doug off her hands. He was looking out for her—specifically.

  Chapter Six

  Elijah found Cora leaning up against the side of his truck when he came out of Doug Maggleby’s house.

  “Thanks for putting my neighbor to bed for me,” she said as he walked toward her. “I was not looking forward to that.”

  He could tell. She didn’t like Doug touching her, and he hadn’t liked it much, either. “No need to thank me. He’s not your responsibility.”

  “He’s not yours, either.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not like I was going out of my way.”

  She tucked her long brown hair behind her ears. “So you didn’t do it for me?”

  He had done it for her, but he preferred to downplay that part. “No.”

  He assumed she’d let it go at that, but she gave him a skeptical once-over.

  “What?” he said.

  “You’re so full of it.”

  He felt his eyebrows go up. He wasn’t sure he’d ever had another woman say something like that to him before. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re acting like you’re not interested in me, but...”

  This new girl was nothing if not unpredictable, Elijah decided. She didn’t play by the usual rules—at least not the old-fashioned rules he’d grown accustomed to living out here in the country. Problem was...she was right. He was interested in her. But he couldn’t let himself act on that interest. “What makes you think so?” He rested both hands on the truck, one on either side of her. He figured if she was going to challenge him, he was going to challenge her right back.

  But she didn’t flounder for a response, didn’t back down. She wasn’t intimidated in the least, even though he had her penned between his arms and virtually towered over her.

  Her gaze lowered to his mouth. “The way you look at me.”

  He tensed with the desire to press her up against his truck and kiss her soundly. She was baiting him, trying to see what he would do, which left him torn. Part of him felt she deserved to get a bit more than she bargained for. The other part knew better than to let things move in that direction. He’d been keeping his distance from her for a reason.

  “You’re the one who said you had a boyfriend,” he said. “Maybe you’ve forgotten the other day. I was carrying in your boxes, you were acting all concerned, as if that might mean you owed me something, and then you said—”

  “I remember,” she broke in.

  “So...what’s up with that? Where’d your boyfriend go?”

  She lifted her chin defiantly. “I broke up with him over a month ago.”

  “You lied?”

  Still, she didn’t back down. “Basically.”

  “Because...”

  For the first time her confidence seemed to waver. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. I... I felt something I didn’t want to feel. And I panicked.”

  He was so astounded by her honesty he wasn’t sure how to respond. So he went with the obvious—what he’d been usin
g to warn himself off since she’d arrived in Silver Springs. “I’m your boss, Cora.”

  “That’s what’s holding you back? Professional integrity?”

  “One of the things, yes. This school—the boys here—are important to me.”

  “One doesn’t necessarily cancel out the other.”

  “I hired you because I thought you’d be the best teacher for the job.” He’d also thought he’d be able to ignore how alive he felt whenever he was around her, but he’d never expected her to confront him so directly. That forced the issue out in the open, made the attraction more difficult to ignore. “I’m sure my mother wouldn’t thank me for giving her new art instructor reason to quit and leave.”

  That brief moment of insecurity he’d noted before seemed to fall by the wayside. “You’re sure dating me would go in that direction?”

  His ex-girlfriend said he walled himself off, refused to give anything emotionally. And she probably had the right of it. The shrink Aiyana used to send him to said a lot of the same stuff. Dr. Anderson told him he needed to learn how to open up, which sounded good in theory but he couldn’t figure out how. He’d finally refused to continue therapy. He wanted to close the door on his past and make sure it was never opened again, not rehash those painful memories.

  “It’s not like I’ve never been down this road,” he said. “I’ve been in a number of relationships. Enough to know my limitations.”

  “All those relationships ended badly?”

  He’d been taught to believe he was so terrible, so unacceptable, that he’d been painfully shy around girls growing up. He hadn’t even started dating until he was twenty, and he’d only had three fairly serious—and fairly short—relationships since. “Let’s just say...I don’t have a high success ratio when it comes to women.”

  “You and Aiyana are very close.”

  “That’s different.”

  “Love is love. You had to decide to trust her at some point.”

  “Not everyone has her patience,” he said. “She was so determined to love me, I had no choice.”

  “And those other women?”

  The scent of her perfume rose to his nostrils. He liked the way she smelled, wanted to touch all that soft-looking skin. The temptation to slide his hand up her shirt burned through him like hard liquor. “As I said, it’s not the same thing.”

  “Because it involves physical intimacy? What, exactly, are your ‘limitations’? Are you saying you can’t have sex?”

  He was pretty sure she was goading him. At least, he hoped she was, that she didn’t really believe he was incapable. Either way, he was eager to put the question to rest. “My body works fine. It’s my inability to make you feel loved and ‘validated.’ I think that was the word.”

  “So I’d only get hurt if I got involved with you.”

  “Yes. You’d essentially be getting a locked box.”

  He was being transparent, completely up front. She was the one who’d set that tone. So it surprised him when she barked out a laugh. “You think you’re doing me a favor by staying away!”

  He was trying to adhere to the decisions he’d made after that last ugly blowout with Tina. He’d been glad for the peace and balance he’d found since they broke up a year ago. But twelve months was a long time to go without a woman... “Essentially.”

  “Well, you’re taking a lot for granted, Mr. Turner. First of all, how do you know I’m going to want you to love me?”

  “Experience,” he said wryly. “I have yet to encounter the opposite problem.”

  “You’re in such high demand that you’ve grown arrogant?”

  “Failure hardly makes me arrogant. It does, however, make me want to avoid running into the same brick wall.”

  “I see. Well, you don’t have to look out for me. I’m a big girl.”

  “Which, of course, you’ll say until our relationship doesn’t progress. Then you’ll quit your job and go back to LA.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m only here for one year. No matter what happens, I’m not going to quit my job.”

  Was she as resilient as she pretended? He couldn’t help getting his hopes up. He was already starting to imagine her on her back, her hair falling across his pillow... “Then you have a decision to make.”

  “What kind of decision?”

  “Are you up for a strictly physical relationship? Because if that’s all you’re after, I’d be happy to accommodate you. I have no doubt I could satisfy you there.”

  She studied him. “That’s all you’re interested in?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t about to go down the same road he’d been down before. But he wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, since she sounded almost...relieved by this news.

  “You’re sure? I could never hurt you?”

  “No. I’m too good at keeping my gloves up.” He’d been trained from a young age...

  She nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”

  That didn’t sound as though she’d make up her mind as quickly as he was hoping. “Any chance you could think fast?”

  He wanted to kiss her so badly; the way she chewed on her bottom lip made him sort of light-headed. “We should probably give it a few weeks. See how we feel,” she replied.

  “Weeks? Does it have to take that long? Because I’ve already made up my mind.”

  She seemed uncertain. “There is something I should probably tell you...”

  “And that is...”

  More lip nibbling. “I’ve never had a strictly physical relationship.”

  He shifted his gaze from her lips to her eyes. “Not even a one-night stand?”

  “No.”

  “What? You’re from LA!”

  Her expression changed to one of outrage—until she realized he was joking. “Don’t even start with those stereotypes,” she grumbled. “Or I’ll go for the country bumpkin stuff.”

  Somehow, he’d underestimated her. She wasn’t making it easy for him to ignore the attraction he felt. He liked her spunk. “Can you at least tell me what my chances are?” he asked, leaning a little closer.

  “I’m the one who approached you, so...I’d say they’re pretty decent.”

  “What made you approach me?” he asked, because that was a game changer. Otherwise, he would’ve continued to skirt around her indefinitely.

  “There’s just something about you.”

  All the things he could say to coax her, to convince her she wouldn’t regret spending the night with him rose to his lips. But he knew it wouldn’t be fair to put any pressure on her. She could easily regret the arrangement he proposed. And he didn’t want that.

  Taking her hand, he held it to his chest so that she could feel how hard his heart was beating. Maybe he couldn’t promise her forever, but she wanted him. She’d just said so. And he wanted her.

  Her hand moved slowly over his pectoral muscles in a curious caress that made him hard as a rock. He almost kissed her, was tempted to use his body to convince her if he couldn’t allow himself to use his voice. But as soon as he dipped his head, she seemed to understand they were only seconds away from “too late.” Once they crossed that line there would be no going back. One spark could cause them both to go up in flames.

  “Like I said, I’ll think about it.” Pulling away, she started up the drive.

  Disappointment bit deep. He stood there without reacting for several seconds, trying to overcome the letdown. Then he said, “Wait.”

  She didn’t come back to him, but she turned, so he walked over and held out his hand. “Where’s your phone?”

  When she pulled it from her pocket and handed it to him, he put in his number and gave it back to her. “In case the answer is yes. Maybe it won’t take as long as you think.”

  * * *


  Cora stared at Elijah’s number for at least an hour after he left. She switched between the contact information he’d put in her phone and the picture she’d taken of him out on that ride. She loved that picture so much. And yet...they’d never really spent any time together. It was ridiculous that she’d feel so compelled to call him.

  She was just lonely, she told herself. She’d made a big change, was out of her element. She needed to forget about him and concentrate on what she’d come here to do, which was to teach and get to know Aiyana. She was part Nicaraguan. She had grandparents. She had uncles. These were the things she’d hoped to seek out. Her plans didn’t include Elijah.

  But she couldn’t have anything serious with Elijah, anyway. Not without telling him that she was Aiyana’s biological daughter. And she wasn’t ready to do that. So he’d offered her the perfect solution: the chance to fulfill the desire he evoked without expectation.

  After another ten minutes spent pacing around her small cottage, she decided to walk over to the pond. She thought sitting on the dock with the moon shining down on the water might help calm her mind. But even there, she was restless—too restless to remain on the jetty. Eventually, she made her way over to the horses’ pen where she hoped, with the animals, she wouldn’t feel quite so alone.

  “There you are, big boy,” she crooned, petting the nose of Elijah’s giant horse when it ambled over to see her. “Looks like you’re not getting much sleep tonight, either.”

  “You okay?”

  Startled by the sound of Elijah’s voice, Cora turned to see a dark figure sitting on the fence of the llama pen not far away, in the shadow of the nearby barn.

  She pressed a hand to her chest to compensate for the shock he’d given her. “How long have you been there?”