Finding Our Forever

by Brenda Novak

  “Since before you came out.”

  “You saw me, and you didn’t say anything?”

  “I was considering it.”

  “It took you a while to decide!”

  “I wasn’t sure you wanted to be disturbed.”

  Somehow it seemed like fate that they would run into each other again tonight. Or maybe she’d been subconsciously hoping for that, hoping for another opportunity, without actually having to call him. Although she’d never seen his house, she knew he lived on this part of the ranch, near the animals. She was hesitant to admit it, but, deep down, she was fairly certain that was why she’d come over here so often already. She’d been hoping to see him all along. “What are you doing out here?” she asked.

  “Same thing you are, I suppose.”

  “You can’t sleep.”

  “I have something on my mind.”

  “And that is...”

  “You.”

  Cora squinted across the distance between them, trying to make out his expression. He was lonely, too, she realized. As much as he tried to pretend otherwise, he had to be. He was so aloof, so careful to warn most everyone away. She was no psychologist, but after what he’d been through, that had to be a defense mechanism. And what he’d said about Aiyana seemed to prove it. By his own admission, Aiyana had only busted through his reserve because she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

  Maybe that was what getting close to him required—the ability to love without expectation, without measuring or demanding anything in return. Cora could understand why that might be the case. He was tired of disappointing the women he dated, tired of feeling inadequate when they became disappointed. She’d sensed that in what he’d had to say earlier. There’d been a degree of fatalism, as if he’d given up.

  His previous girlfriends had probably wanted to establish a regular relationship, one that escalated toward marriage. So they had an agenda, of sorts. Cora, on the other hand, had no agenda. She wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship, couldn’t have one with him, anyway, not without a very honest conversation she wasn’t willing to have.

  So...what if she just gave him someone to be with while she was here, some meaningful intimacy that was warm and supportive without pushing him for anything more?

  “Sounds like you could use a massage,” she said.

  There was a moment of silence. Then he said, “Are you offering to give me one?”

  She could tell he wasn’t really asking about a massage, just as she knew he understood her answer wouldn’t be strictly limited to one. “Sure.”

  “Tonight—or do I have to wait a few weeks?”

  She chuckled. “Don’t push your luck.”

  The darkness made it difficult to tell for sure, but she was fairly certain she’d gotten a smile out of him.

  “You wouldn’t be out here if you weren’t as taken with the idea as I am,” he said.

  “You have a point, I suppose.”

  “You’re not going to pretend otherwise?”

  “No. Should we go to your place—or mine?”

  He hopped off the fence and came toward her. “Mine.”

  “Any particular reason?”

  “I don’t have neighbors.”

  “Mr. Maggleby does tend to keep tabs on me.”

  “Mr. Maggleby is probably down for the count, but my house would still be better.”

  Cora drew a steadying breath as he advanced. She’d be spending the night with him. She’d just made the commitment, wouldn’t feel good about backing out now.

  Fortunately, she didn’t want to. But her motives weren’t entirely altruistic. She’d been craving the opportunity to touch him since the first day she’d met him.

  And now she was going to have her chance.

  Chapter Seven

  Elijah’s small A-frame was the most isolated house on the ranch and the hardest to reach, which suited him well, Cora thought as he showed her inside and closed the door behind them. He had plenty of privacy here. She got the impression that few people were ever invited inside, and that included the students he cared so much about. This was his place of retreat where he could put some distance between him and other people, since people were what he probably considered to be the biggest challenge life had to offer. Everything else seemed to come easy for him.

  “Would you like a drink?” he asked.

  Cora shook her head. “No. I’m good.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe a glass of wine?” Now that he had her inside, he was treating her as if she might bolt if he wasn’t careful or courteous enough. That was another thing that made her wonder if he wasn’t quite comfortable with having company. She got the impression he almost didn’t know what to do with her—how to get from where they were in this moment to where he hoped to go, which wasn’t in keeping with how he behaved in every other circumstance she’d noted so far.

  “Okay.” She relented, thinking that might help. “I’ll have a glass of wine.”

  While he opened a bottle and poured, she wandered around his living room, which was very utilitarian—so utilitarian that the walls were completely bare. She couldn’t find one thing that defined him as a person, nothing that spoke of who he was or what he liked, even on the shelves or counters. She’d never seen a house stripped down to the bare essentials before. The men she’d known had a tendency to decorate sparsely, but still.

  Was it just that Elijah didn’t know how to make a house a home? Or was the ability to reveal even that much of himself also locked inside the “box” he’d mentioned?

  “Aren’t you going to have one?” she asked when he handed her a glass and stood back to watch her drink it.

  “No.”

  So much for letting a drink ease them into the evening... “Why not?”

  “I’m not interested.”

  He was too single-minded to drink right now, Cora decided. He knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t wine. But he was trying to wait his turn. “So you were merely being polite by offering me one.”

  “I thought you might enjoy it.”

  He seemed to feel as if he needed to take certain steps for her sake, as if he’d memorized a set of “rules” for how to be successful in such situations—and that included putting whatever she wanted first.

  Setting her glass aside, she stepped up to him. She could tell he was dying to touch her, saw his hands curl into fists and his muscles tense as he wrestled with his self-control. For some reason, he was trying to let her make the first move. She supposed he wanted some reassurance that she wasn’t going to suddenly change her mind. Or maybe he merely wanted to be confident he wasn’t pressuring her into anything. Regardless, he was far more wary now that they were alone and behind closed doors than he’d been at his truck earlier. But they’d never had any real chance of getting intimate there, so maybe that was why.

  What’d happened to him in the past had influenced everything, even the way he approached sex, she realized. He didn’t trust other people, didn’t trust her. “How long has it been for you?” she asked.

  “Since...”

  “Since you’ve been with a woman.”

  “A year.”

  No wonder he watched her like a wolf chasing a rabbit. That was a long time to go without for a man his age—at least it would be a long time to the men she knew in LA. But Eli lived in a small town and had the reputation of the ranch to consider—and she knew the pain that hid behind that handsome face. As normal as he came off, every once in a while there was something in his eyes that reminded her of an animal that’d been beaten so often it growled or showed its teeth even when someone tried to be kind. He craved what she was offering, couldn’t bring himself to skirt around her and continue on his way, as he most likely preferred. So he was waiting for the perfect moment—when he could safely
snatch it away. Were he anyone else, she felt certain he would’ve reached for her already...

  “These encounters don’t come with a script,” she said.

  “Meaning...”

  “You don’t have to serve me wine, or...or check anything else off a list.”

  “I’m merely trying to make sure you get what you need. I may be sort of...limited in what I can offer you, but I’m not a completely selfish bastard. If you’ll tell me what you want, what you like, I’ll give it to you.”

  “I don’t have a punch list, Eli. That’s what I’m saying. But I’m pretty sure we can figure out what we both like.” His nostrils flared when she lifted his hand to her breast. “Does this help?”

  * * *

  Elijah wished it was easier to go without human touch. His life would be so much simpler. But nothing else felt like a woman. He tried to hold himself in check, to remain in control. He didn’t want to overwhelm or frighten Cora, had been trying to be measured and kind. But once she put her mouth on his, and he could feel the weight of her breast in his palm, something snapped. She didn’t have to do anything more. He started kissing her so hungrily that he could hardly catch his breath. And, within moments, he was peeling off her clothes, so anxious to get to bare skin that it felt like he couldn’t wait another second.

  He thought she might be put off. On some level, he knew he was being pretty aggressive, probably overly aggressive. But she had her hands in his hair and clung to him as if she was just as caught up in him as he was her. So if she was put off, he couldn’t tell.

  He hoped it wasn’t something he’d learn about in the morning. To prevent that, he promised himself he’d take their lovemaking slower as he carried her down the hall to his bedroom.

  Once there, he made an honest effort to do just that, but her kisses were so hot and wet, and she was sucking on his neck and licking his nipples. She was even biting him, just not so hard that it hurt.

  Although his shirt was already on the floor, he still had his jeans on as they rolled around in his bed. Since everything he touched felt so damn good, he forgot about taking it slow and gentle. If anything, he felt the compulsion to make everything go harder and faster.

  Fortunately, she seemed to be perfectly happy. With a promising smile, she unzipped his pants.

  He gasped as her fingers closed around him and, only moments later, he was naked, too.

  To his credit, he took a moment to admire her full breasts, small waist and the appealing flare of her hips. She had no hair anywhere, which, coming from LA certainly didn’t surprise him, but he’d never seen a woman so bare. He liked the way she looked lying beneath him in the moonlight streaming through his window. She was as beautiful and soft as he’d expected.

  Dimly, he thought about all the things he could do to bring her to climax. He planned to do every single one before he took his own pleasure. He wanted to make sure she was glad she’d agreed to be with him tonight. But once he began to suckle her breasts, she arched into him as if she craved him inside her.

  “Okay. Hang on. Let me...let me take care of you first,” he said.

  “I’m ready,” she gasped when he slid his hand between her legs.

  He groaned as he encountered the slickness he was hoping to find. She felt ready. But burying himself inside her, this soon, wouldn’t be slowing down.

  “Do you have a condom?” she asked.

  Fortunately, he did—in the nightstand. But he barely managed to roll it on before she pulled him on top of her and wrapped her legs around his hips—an unmistakable invitation and one he couldn’t refuse.

  He felt shaky as he pushed inside her. She was so wet, so tight he had to hold himself still. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have even half a chance of making her come. He didn’t want to be the only one who was fulfilled tonight. Then he wouldn’t have done anything right.

  “God, you feel good,” he murmured, running his mouth up her neck.

  “So do you,” she said. “I guess it’s true what they say about guys with big hands and big feet.”

  That comment took him so much by surprise that he almost laughed, but she didn’t give him time. She grabbed hold of him—to pull him deeper inside her—and encouraged him to thrust.

  “Give me a minute.” He could hardly recognize his own voice it sounded so hoarse. “You’re going to be disappointed if you don’t.”

  Crooking her arm around his neck to bring him closer, she pulled his bottom lip into her mouth. “Quit thinking,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “You don’t understand. It’s been a long time for me. I’m not going to make it.”

  “So what? Let go. Do it any way you want.” Her breath, hot in his ear, was followed by her tongue.

  Her words, the freedom she gave him, sent a fresh deluge of testosterone through him, which did nothing to help his control. But if she wasn’t going to help him hold out, he figured he was facing a losing battle. So he closed his eyes and drove into her with an abandon he’d rarely allowed himself before, and felt the pleasure of each thrust escalate to the point that his whole body shuddered when he hit climax.

  “Goose bumps,” she said as she ran a hand down his arm. “That must’ve been a nice one.”

  He stared down at her while trying to catch his breath. “It was. But I know it was too fast for you. I’m sorry.”

  “I enjoyed watching you,” she said. “I think you needed to let loose.”

  Suddenly, he was so tired. “Give me an hour or so, and I’ll redeem myself. I promise,” he said as he curled around her. But he fell into such a deep sleep that it was morning when he woke up, and by then she was gone.

  * * *

  Elijah had a hard time being selfish. That was the most significant fact Cora had learned about him while she was in his bed. As she drove to town the following morning to meet Darci for breakfast, she couldn’t help chuckling as she remembered how he’d tried to rein himself in—and how guilty he’d felt when he couldn’t. Of course, she’d enjoyed urging him on, had wanted to see what Elijah Turner was like when he threw off all of that restraint. Not only was it gratifying to her that she could have such an effect on him, she figured that was the best way to discover his true personality—when he wasn’t closely monitoring everything he said and did. Although he came off as remote, she was beginning to understand that he was actually quite sensitive. He also seemed honest and intrinsically fair.

  Her phone rang. Assuming it would be Jill, or maybe Darci, since she was running a few minutes late, she answered using her Bluetooth. “Hello?”

  “Cora? It’s Aiyana. How are you?”

  She froze at the sound of her birth mother’s voice. Had Aiyana learned that she and Elijah had spent the night together? Cora had slipped out of his place while it was still dark so that no one would see her. They were both consenting adults; she didn’t think what they’d done should be a really big deal, at least to anyone else. They did work for the same school, however. So, of course, that would be frowned upon.

  Was she about to be confronted about her behavior?

  A honk from the car behind her reminded her that it was her turn to clear the intersection. “Um... I’m fine,” she said as she gave her SUV some gas. “How are you?”

  “Great.” Aiyana covered the phone as someone spoke to her in the background. “Sorry about that,” she said when she came back on the line. “We just got a new shipment of books for the library.”

  “From what I’ve seen, we already have an extensive collection.”

  “I won’t skimp on the library, either.”

  What did she skimp on? Nothing, not when it came to the school. Cora had the impression she worked 24/7 to make sure the boys had everything they could possibly need. “Are you a big reader?”

  “I am. I read more nonfiction than anything else, but I stock
a lot of action-adventure, sci-fi, mysteries and thrillers for the boys. I encourage them to read by giving them books they’re going to like. Feel free to take a look and borrow anything that catches your fancy.”

  Cora had an e-reader, which was well-stocked, but she didn’t say so. She didn’t want Aiyana to feel as though her offer wasn’t appreciated. “I will. Thank you.”

  “I hope you’ll be able to adjust to living here in Silver Springs,” she said. “I know it might require a bit of an adjustment.”

  “Living out here is...different,” Cora admitted. “But it’s not without its attractions.” She winced as those words came out of her mouth. She thought Aiyana would instantly guess that Elijah was the biggest and brightest of Silver Springs’ “attractions,” at least where she was concerned. But Aiyana didn’t seem to clue in—thank God.

  “Your supplies should be in on Monday. I checked, wanted to let you know.”

  Cora pulled in front of Lolita’s Country Kitchen, where Darci had asked to meet for breakfast. She had to admit that it was wonderful to find ample parking—that rarely happened in LA. She wouldn’t even have to pay for it. “Wow. How nice of you to follow up.”

  “No problem. But...that isn’t the only reason I called. If you have a minute, I’d like to talk to you about something else.”

  Oh boy. Maybe she did know about Eli. Cora turned off the car but didn’t release her seat belt even though she could see Darci waving at her through the window of the diner. “Sure, I’ve got time. What’s going on?”

  “One of the other teachers mentioned to me that Doug Maggleby was making you uncomfortable at the pizza parlor last night.”

  “It wasn’t...all that bad,” she hedged.

  “He was drinking, which I’m sure didn’t help. Anyway, I’m sorry. I’ll speak to him. I definitely don’t want him scaring you off.”

  “No, don’t bother,” she said. “He didn’t get too out of line.” Thanks to Eli, he didn’t get much of a chance...

  “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.”

  “Well, I’ll let this incident go, but only because he’s had a rough few years. He lost his wife to cancer and is just now getting over it and hoping to find someone else.”