Finding Our Forever

by Brenda Novak

  When he’d explained where to meet him, she’d guessed he was taking her to the same place he’d taken the boys—not that she intended to reveal the fact that she’d seen him here before. He’d been so carefree that day, so...unguarded. That memory was the one thing she planned to take away from this place when school let out—probably because she’d only seen Elijah like that once or twice since, when he was so caught up in their lovemaking that he dropped the aloof mask he wore otherwise. She felt like those moments were the only ones where she got to see the vulnerable heart beneath that rugged chest.

  A silver truck towing a white trailer turned off the highway and parked in the clearing where she’d left her car. When she stepped out of the trees and greeted Eli, he responded with an uncharacteristically wide smile, one that suggested he was happy to see her, which made her glad she’d come. He usually kept his emotions more carefully concealed.

  “Have you ever ridden before?” he asked as he pulled on a pair of leather gloves.

  “Once. In Mexico. It was a four-hour-long trail ride with my family on the beach, and it was beautiful. But my horse was only allowed to walk slowly behind the horse in front.”

  “That’s not really riding.”

  “After the first hour or so, it got boring,” she admitted.

  “You’ll like this better.”

  She expected him to be towing two horses, but when he opened the trailer, she saw only Atsila. “We’re riding together?”

  “Is that okay? I figured if you’re not familiar with horses, you might feel more comfortable riding double.”

  Since all she wanted to do was touch him—didn’t care if they ever left the clearing—she had no reason to complain. “No problem.”

  “Great. I’ll let you take the reins whenever.”

  He led the horse out and lifted Cora into the saddle before securing the truck and the trailer. Then he walked over and swung up behind her.

  The warmth of his body made her wish she could turn and kiss him. They’d trained their bodies to expect such contact when they saw each other. She wasn’t even sure what they were doing here. She liked the idea of riding, but it felt as if they were wasting what little time they could spend together.

  They traveled mostly in silence. Cora got the impression Eli didn’t care to talk. He’d answer if she asked a question, but only with a simple yes or no, if possible. There were a few minutes when she took the reins, but as soon as they came to a narrow pass that she wasn’t confident in navigating, he took over.

  “What made you ask me to go riding?” she asked as they continued to climb the mountain.

  “You’ll see,” he replied, and that was it. Apparently, she was waiting for something. She didn’t find out what until they crested the top of the mountain, where the trees thinned, revealing a stunning red-and-gold sunset.

  “Wow,” she murmured.

  He pulled the horse to a stop. “Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?”

  If she were being objective, some of the sunsets she’d seen at the beach and around the world were as spectacular. Cognitively, she knew that. But he’d brought her out here because he wanted her to enjoy this, and that made it the best darn sunset in the world. “Not with you,” she said.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means I’d like it even if it wasn’t nearly so beautiful.”

  One hand came up to catch her chin as he finally kissed her. She wasn’t entirely sure how everything went from there. Somehow, in a matter of minutes, they were off the horse and on the ground, their clothes open and askew, kissing and exploring and enjoying what they’d wanted from the first moment they met up.

  “You can’t be comfortable out here,” he said with some regret, as if he hated to stop but felt too much guilt to continue. “I’ll take you back down.”

  “No.” Cora wasn’t ready to leave. Not yet. When he pulled away to get up, she pressed him onto his back. Then she nibbled at his neck and his bare chest as she moved down—and heard him draw a sharp breath as she took him into her mouth.

  * * *

  They drove home separately, just as they’d come, as if they hadn’t been together. Because Eli hadn’t said anything about meeting up later, Cora assumed their ride—and what had occurred on it—was the end of their time with each other for today. She spent the next couple of hours getting ready for her classes tomorrow while trying to build up her resistance to him—so she wouldn’t melt so quickly when he called or texted her the next time—only to have him surprise her by showing up at her door as she was getting ready for bed.

  He didn’t explain why he’d come; he didn’t need to. He stepped inside as if he had every right and pulled her into his arms. Then it was like the ride earlier, when they couldn’t pull each other’s clothes off fast enough. She managed to remove his shirt and toss it aside before he kissed her again. Then he lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his narrow hips and let him carry her into the bedroom, where they fell onto her bed and made love.

  On some level, Cora knew their affair was getting out of hand. They couldn’t seem to stem the desire they felt for each other—the more he touched her, the more she craved his touch, and he seemed to be every bit as caught in the same web.

  What happened to getting satisfied and moving on? she asked herself when it was all over and he was dozing beside her. That had been the original plan, but the opposite seemed to be taking place. Just watching him sleep made her feel so much tenderness it frightened her. She was losing her heart to a man who’d told her he wasn’t to be trusted with it.

  What am I going to do?

  She reached over to push the hair off his forehead, and he opened his eyes. Since it was nearly eleven, she thought he’d get up and leave. They both had to work in the morning. Instead, he drew her into the curve of his body and, after a kiss on her bare shoulder, drifted off again.

  Apparently, he didn’t feel any pressure to get home at a reasonable hour. Or he was enjoying being with her too much to put an end to it. She preferred to believe the latter, but feared she was building things up in her head—a dangerous practice in its own right.

  She wondered where he’d parked his truck, and guessed that he’d left it at home and walked over. He wasn’t stupid, wouldn’t be that obvious.

  Slowly, she allowed herself to succumb to the comfort and satisfaction of having him there next to her. She was going to be hurt; she had little doubt about that. But it wasn’t going to be tonight. She’d merely take their relationship moment by moment, she decided—and the next thing she knew, her alarm was going off the following morning, and Eli was still in her bed.

  Since he hadn’t reacted to the alarm, she reached over to touch his shoulder. He needed to get out of the house before everyone on campus was up and moving around. But before she could even touch him, someone knocked on the front door.

  That brought his head up immediately. “Doug?” he said without preamble.

  She bit her lip. “It’s only seven. I can’t imagine he’d pop over so early.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Maybe he has more vegetables.”

  “He hasn’t brought any since the last time. He’s been much better about leaving me alone,” she said as she got up and hurried to don a robe. She had to answer the door. Whoever it was would know she was home. Her car was in the drive. “Your mother must’ve spoken to him even though she told me she wouldn’t.”

  “She didn’t speak to him—I did,” he said.

  She paused to gawk at him. “What did you say?”

  “Nothing. I just told him to keep his distance.”

  She laughed. Of course it would be that simple for him. No glossing over anything, no mincing words. Just the bottom line: stop.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked.

  “Not
hing.” She pulled the belt of her robe tight. “My hair’s not too crazy, is it?”

  He grinned.

  “That must be a no.”

  Whoever was at the door knocked again, causing her to glance toward the living room.

  “You look like you’ve had a busy night,” he said, that grin slanting to one side, “but I wouldn’t want to make you self-conscious.”

  “Thanks for doing just that,” she whispered in mock outrage but couldn’t help betraying herself with a smile of her own. Maybe he wasn’t capable of trusting her enough to give her his heart, but he was incredibly good in bed, especially now that they were becoming more comfortable with each other. She also liked these little moments when he revealed that he did have a playful side.

  “It’s a great look on you,” he said.

  She didn’t take the time to answer. “Stay here. And don’t make any noise,” she said as she left the bedroom.

  Once she reached the door, she tried to smooth her hair down one final time as she peered through the peep hole.

  It wasn’t Doug; it was Aiyana. Cora wanted to alert Eli to the fact that his mother was standing on the stoop, but she’d delayed too long already and couldn’t call back for fear Aiyana would hear her through the panel.

  Cora could only hope she hadn’t come here looking for her son... “Hi,” she said as she opened the door.

  Aiyana’s lips curved into a pleasant smile. “I’m sorry to bother you so early.”

  “It’s no trouble,” she said but couldn’t help wondering why this couldn’t have waited until she was in her classroom. “I was rolling out of bed, anyway.”

  “I figured you’d be up, what with school starting in little over an hour. There’s a guy who looks like he’s had a pretty rough night at the administration building, asking for you. I tried to reach you on your cell but couldn’t get an answer. Apparently, he’s been trying to reach you, too.”

  She hadn’t taken her cell out of her purse last night to charge it. “The battery must be dead. Did this man say who he is?”

  “He said you broke up with him when you left LA.”

  Matt? Damn... “I—I’ll... Sorry about the random visit. Let me get showered and I’ll be right over.”

  “Would you rather I send him here?”

  It was going to be hard enough for Eli to get out of her house without being seen. “No. Um...have him wait there. I’ll come as soon as I can.”

  “Okay.” Her gaze shifted to something behind Cora. “Tell my son I said good morning,” she added and left.

  Cora pivoted to discover Elijah’s shirt on the floor. Shoot! Now there would be no pretending that she and Eli were only friends.

  Eli came to the doorway, wearing nothing. “What’d she say?”

  Cora picked up his shirt and handed it to him. “She said to tell you hello.”

  To Cora’s surprise, he didn’t seem to be upset by that. He scratched his head and said, “I mean before that.”

  “My ex-boyfriend is at the office.” Looking like he’d been up all night. Why? Cora hadn’t spoken to him since moving to Silver Springs.

  “What does he want?”

  “I have no idea,” she replied but realized her phone might provide the answer. She plugged it in and waited for it to charge while Eli dressed. She was just listening to the many messages Matt had left when Eli walked out of the bedroom again.

  “You’re not coming back to me? I thought we loved each other. But you must never have cared for me the way I cared for you.”

  Instead of heading to the door, Eli walked over to the counter and listened to Matt’s next message along with her.

  “You’re not going to answer your phone? Seriously? I can hardly breathe now that you’re gone. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll change. Just...give me another chance.”

  Cora clicked away from her voice mail. She figured Eli had heard enough.

  “He wants you back,” he said.

  “Apparently.”

  He raked his fingers through his hair. “How do you feel?”

  “I feel bad that I’ve hurt him.”

  She knew that wasn’t the answer Eli had been looking for, but she didn’t care to address anything else. She had to shower, hurry over to see what she could do for Matt and get to class—all before eight thirty.

  “You’re upset he’s here.”

  “I’m upset that your mother knows about us.”

  “Because...”

  Because Aiyana was her birth mother, and now, if she ever decided to have that conversation, it would be even harder. She was ruining any hope she had of reuniting with Aiyana as the daughter she was! But she hadn’t planned on Aiyana having an adopted son she couldn’t resist. “I respect her. I don’t want her to think poorly of me.”

  “She doesn’t think poorly of you. She likes you.”

  For some reason, that simple statement nearly made Cora burst into tears. He’d spoken so casually, as if he was saying, “Why would you matter much to her either way?”

  Aiyana was her mother. She wanted more than the courteous treatment other teachers received.

  When she started to blink fast, trying to hold back the tears, he walked over and rested his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry I stayed over. If you’ll still see me in the future, I’ll be more careful.”

  “I’m not blaming you. This has nothing to do with you.” She could’ve asked him to go at any moment, but she hadn’t—because she’d wanted him to stay right where he was. Her emotional reaction to Aiyana’s appearance was about something else, something he couldn’t even begin to guess because he, most likely, didn’t know his mother had ever had a child of her own.

  “Then it’s your ex that has you upset.”

  She dashed a hand across her cheek. “Matt? No. It’s nothing.”

  She could tell he wasn’t sure what to say next. “I’m fine,” she added.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, as if he hated to see her like this, especially because he suspected he might be part of the cause.

  “It’s nothing, like I said.”

  “Okay.” He had to get to school, too, and she knew it. Although he acted reluctant to walk away at this juncture, he seemed to understand there was nothing more he could do. After pressing a kiss to her forehead, he left.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The day seemed to last forever. Knowing that Matt was sleeping at her house, waiting for her to get out of school, made Cora glance at the clock—and grind her teeth—over and over. Time seemed to be standing still. She didn’t want her ex-boyfriend in Silver Springs, couldn’t believe he’d come down here.

  As soon as the lunch bell sounded and the students filed out of her classroom, she considered going home. She had thirty minutes or so she could use to talk to Matt. But she preferred to wait until she could sit down with him at length and hash out whatever he felt he needed to go over. Then maybe she could send him on his way knowing that was the end, once and for all.

  While she was standing at the window, watching the students who’d already finished their lunch mill about campus, Eli walked in.

  “Hey.”

  She turned and straightened. He’d never come to her room before. “Hi.”

  “I didn’t see you in the cafeteria so...I thought I’d bring you some lunch.” He lifted a brown sack.

  She’d eaten an apple from her desk drawer. She hadn’t had it in her to face him or Aiyana, in case either one of them happened to be in the cafeteria. “I’ve had too much to do here.”

  The fact that she’d been staring outside, doing nothing, contradicted that statement, but he didn’t point it out. He carried her lunch over to the desk. “You feeling okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What h
appened with Matt?”

  “Nothing. Yet. I had to get to my first class, and he looked like he wasn’t feeling great, so I told him to sleep until I get out of school.”

  He rubbed a hand over his smooth-shaven chin. “You’ll talk to him when you get home.”

  “Yes.” She peered into the sack to find a turkey sandwich, some celery and carrot sticks and a big chocolate chip cookie. “This is very nice of you. Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to leave.

  “Did your mother say anything to you about this morning?” she asked as she broke off part of the cookie.

  “We’ve been too busy.”

  “Will she say something?”

  “I doubt it. For the most part, she’s pretty good about minding her own business.”

  Cora wondered about his biological mother. Did he ever hear from her? Did he care about her—could he care? “Aiyana seems really great.”

  “She is.” He checked his watch. “I’ve got to go.”

  “Thanks for stopping by.”

  He hesitated at the door. “Will you call me when Matt’s gone?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  “Nothing’s changed, Cora,” he said.

  What was he talking about? Everything had changed. She was falling in love with him, which was exactly what he’d warned her not to do. And Matt knew about Aiyana! If she didn’t handle him carefully enough, he could tell everyone what she was really doing in Silver Springs. “There have to be other girls you can...be with. You might have to drive to LA once in a while, but someone like you...you’d have no problem getting laid.”

  He winced as if she’d slapped him. “I never said the person I was with didn’t matter—that it could be anyone. And I hope I haven’t treated you that way.”

  He hadn’t. He’d been a dream lover—as considerate and kind as she could ever expect him to be. He’d also been clear about his limitations. Despite all her big talk, she was the one who couldn’t seem to live up to their agreement.

  She opened her mouth to apologize, but it was too late. He was gone.