Awakening Desires: Katie's Art of Seduction

by N. J. Walters

  Back in her bedroom, she pulled off her sleepwear and dressed in a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a favorite pullover. Comfort was the order of the day. She tossed the covers over the bed, but didn’t bother to make it properly. There was no point, as she’d probably be crawling back into it later for a nap.

  She wasn’t hungry, but she was incredibly thirsty. A glass of cold orange juice was exactly what she needed. Padding to the kitchen on stocking feet, she poured herself a glass of juice and drank it down in one long gulp. Filling the glass again, she tossed the empty container in her recycle bin, picked up her glass, and shuffled into the living room and plopped down on the sofa.

  Katie knew she was purposely avoiding all thought of Cain. The last few days had been an emotional roller coaster and right now all she wanted was peace. Tipping her head back to rest on the back of the sofa, she closed her eyes and held the glass in her two hands.

  She tried to relax, but she remained tense. The paintings lined up against the wall were haunting her with their images of Cain. Cain as an illusive shadow, an image in the dark, and finally, in the last one, reaching into the light. The empty canvas on her easel was calling to her for completion.

  Opening her eyes, she allowed them to gently graze over the finished paintings. Cain’s aloneness was evident in the pictures. He was like some wild animal that longed for comfort, but snapped and snarled at anyone who dared to approach. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Somehow, in spite of his secretive ways, he had slipped past her defenses and into her heart. She sensed that here was a kindred spirit with even more barriers than herself. But it was now obvious that she wasn’t the right woman to break down his walls, to reach the man beneath.

  Katie took another sip of juice and enjoyed the sensation as the cold, tangy liquid glided down her throat. Resolutely, she plunked the glass on the coffee table, came to her feet, and approached the blank canvas.

  Readjusting the easel to catch the best light, she picked up a pencil and began to sketch. As she worked, she got faster and faster until she had the basic shape of the picture she wanted to paint. Standing back, she looked it over carefully. Satisfied, she began to pick and choose colors, squirting them onto her palate. Then, selecting a brush, she began to paint.

  As it always did, time lost all meaning as she painted. Her art had always been her way of expressing herself and now she needed that release more than she ever had in her entire life. Every emotion, every feeling, every tear shed, was poured into the creation of her latest work.

  She was placing the final brushstrokes when a pounding disturbed her on her front door. Startled, her hand jerked and she stared critically at her work to make sure that she hadn’t smeared any paint. Ignoring the continued pounding on the front door, she laid down her brush and stepped back from the easel to get a better perspective on the canvas. It was all there in front of her. She felt open and vulnerable, but in some way she felt a little bit better. The painting had been cathartic, a way of purging the worst of the pain and sorrow.

  The sound of a key turning in her lock finally broke the spell the picture had cast upon her. She hurried to the door and reached it just as it swung open. Lucas stepped inside, his face set in hard, angry lines. Closing the door behind him, he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her.

  “Where the hell have you been?” He stood there as unmoving as a mountain, and his solid presence reassured her as nothing else could.

  Katie leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

  “Worry.” Lucas unlocked his arms and ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “Katie, I’ve been calling all day long. It’s almost dinnertime and you promised you’d call me. Why didn’t you answer your damn phone?”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I unplugged it last night after I got home and I was working today and forgot to plug it back in…” she trailed off as his attention was drawn from her to the easel in the corner.

  Slowly, he walked to the other side of the room. He stood there with his hands on his hips and just stared at her painting. Then he looked at the other three finished works and then back to her latest one. He said nothing for the longest time and she began to fidget.

  “You love him, don’t you?” It was more a statement than a question, but she answered him anyway.

  “Yes, I do.” Going over to join him, she wrapped one arm around his waist and he automatically adjusted his body so that she was sheltered under his arm. “But he’s not ready to love anyone. He may never be ready.”

  “I’m sorry, Katie.” His voice was low, the sentiment heartfelt.

  “Me too.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “But life goes on and I don’t regret one minute I spent with him. He brought me back to life when I hadn’t even realized I’d been sleepwalking through my own life. For that fact alone, I’ll always love him.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  Katie looked at the four paintings and came to a decision. “I left my purse at Cain’s home last night when I…left. Would you go and get it for me? I’m not ready to see him right now.”

  Lucas gave her a reassuring squeeze before releasing her. “Sure, honey, I’ll go right now. What’s the address?” He was already starting for the door as he spoke.

  “Lucas.” The soft plea in her voice stopped him. “Will you do something else for me?”

  He braced himself as if he knew her request was something he wasn’t particularly going to enjoy. “Yeah.”

  “Will you take these paintings to him?” Katie licked her dry lips. “Tell him…tell him that they’re a gift from me.”

  Lucas hung his head for a moment, fighting all his protective instincts. But in the end, he replied, as she knew he would. “If that’s what you want.”

  “Thank you, Lucas.”

  “Only for you, Katie. I don’t think the bastard deserves them.” Lucas glared at the paintings. “They’re the best work you’ve ever done, but if you want him to have them, and there’s nothing I can do to stop you…” He waited as she shook her head, no. “Then I’ll make sure he gets them.”

  Katie nodded and then carefully began to wrap the paintings for transport, taking special care with the newest one, which was still very wet. It would take months for the paintings to dry properly, but they could do that at Cain’s home. Lucas carried the first three while she followed him down to his car, carefully carrying the latest one. When the other three were stowed properly, Lucas took the newest one from her and laid it carefully on top.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I deliver these and get your purse.” He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “You go on up and rest. I’ll stop and pick up a pizza on my way back.”

  For a moment, Katie gave in to her despair and clung to Lucas in a desperate hug, not wanting him to leave her. He returned her embrace and waited patiently for her to release him. “I love you, Lucas.”

  “Me too, Katie.” Lucas climbed into his car and waited as she gave him the address. He started the vehicle, but waited until she was back inside the building before he drove away.

  The steady buzzing at his door was getting irritating. Whoever was there wasn’t going to go away, at least not without dire threats. Gabriel began to bark, so Cain heaved himself out of his comfortable chair in his study and walked towards the intercom.

  He didn’t want to leave the painting. It was the only connection he had with Katie. She’d run out so quickly last night and wasn’t answering his calls. He wouldn’t have slept at all last night, except Quentin had called him and assured him that he’d seen Katie safely home. The displeasure in Quentin’s voice had been obvious last night. Cain had quietly thanked him and hung up on him.

  As he neared the front door, he noticed something he had missed last night when he’d chased after Katie. Her purse was hanging from a hook on the coat rack by the front door. For a moment, his hopes grew. Maybe it was Katie at the door coming to get her wallet. He hurried to the inte
rcom, hushing Gabriel as he went.

  “Katie,” he barked into the intercom. Silence greeted him and then a very irritated male voice answered him.

  “No, it’s not Katie. I’m here to pick up Katie’s purse and to drop off something to you. So open the damn door.” His voice was openly hostile.

  Cain felt his own anger rising. “Who the hell are you?”

  “Lucas Squires,” he replied shortly.

  This was the man the Katie worked for. The one she was close to, and if Cain was honest with himself, the one he was jealous of. He pressed down on the security button, unlocking the outer door. “Come on in. Take the elevator at the far end to the top.”

  There was no reply, but Cain hadn’t really expected one. He opened the door and waited impatiently until the elevator began to rise. The door finally opened and the man who stepped out was not quite what he expected. This guy ran a coffee shop, but he was built like a linebacker. He carefully removed four large packages from the elevator, one at a time, and propped them against the wall of the small hallway. He picked up one and effortlessly carried it in his massive arms. Lucas might have been shorter than him, but he was built like a solid brick wall and looked as tough as nails. And right now the look in his eyes said that he’d gladly take a swing at him if given half a chance.

  Cain sighed and stepped back, holding the door open. “You might as well come in.”

  “I don’t plan on staying long,” came the sardonic reply.

  “How is she?” Cain asked before he could stop himself.

  Lucas carefully laid the package down before facing Cain. He placed his hands on his hips and just glared at him. “Why do you care? And why the hell is it so dark here? Be a man and show yourself.”

  Cain reacted to that taunt immediately. He flicked on a light, pulled himself up to his full height and flexed his fingers into fists. If Lucas wanted a fight, he was more than willing to oblige.

  Lucas looked unimpressed and repeated his question. “Why do you care?” This time his voice was low and taunting.

  Cain was surprised and pleased that Lucas wasn’t intimidated by him. In some perverse way, he was glad that Katie had a strong protector. “I do care.”

  Lucas just shook his head in disgust. “Katie will be fine. She’s a strong lady.” Turning away, he went back into the hallway and got the next package. When they were all inside the apartment, he began to unwrap the canvases. “You don’t deserve her. You’re obviously not good enough for her.”

  Cain’s reply was stark. “I know.”

  “Well, for some reason Katie saw fit to love you, but there’s no accounting for taste.” Lucas continued his work.

  Cain winced as the other man spoke bluntly. “You don’t mince words, do you?”

  “Nope. Especially not when you were idiot enough to throw away the love of a good woman like Katie.” Lucas stopped his task for a moment and stood facing Cain. “Look, I don’t know you, but I do know Katie. She would never try to manipulate you or use you in any way. That’s not her style. Katie doesn’t play games. But she was devastated that you’d kept secrets from her.” Lucas stared hard at Cain as he finished. “From what I can see, you’re the one playing games with her.”

  Cain had no defense against his words and said nothing as Lucas began lining up four paintings against the wall, one after another. He recognized Katie’s work immediately and was shocked to discover that he was the subject of all of them. A hiss of pain escaped him as he studied each of them in turn.

  Lucas stood back, satisfied with his work. “Where’s her purse?”

  Cain indicated the coat rack by the front door, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the paintings in front of him.

  Lucas tucked Katie’s purse under his arm and turned to go, satisfied that he had fulfilled his part of the bargain. He glanced back at Cain, who was transfixed by Katie’s work. “If you can’t see the truth in those paintings, then you really are a fool.” On that final note, Lucas quietly left the apartment, leaving Cain to his own thoughts.

  When the door closed behind Lucas, Cain fell to his knees in front of the paintings. It was like reading a story of their relationship. From the first one where he was nothing but a shadow in the dark, to the next one where he was partially visible on the street, and to the third one in which he was inviting her to share not only dinner, but his dark world with him.

  But it was the final painting that moved him the most. He was lying in bed, but he was fully in the light. Katie had been brutally honest in her depiction of him. The patch on his eye, the scars on his face, neck, arm, and chest were all visible, but she had captured much more than that. Even at rest, the strength in his body, his sheer size was evident. The silky strands of his black hair were pushed back from his face. The gleam in his green eye was filled with male satisfaction as he held one hand out, beckoning to an unseen woman. The crisp white sheets next to him were rumpled, indicating that the woman had just risen and he was trying to entice her back to bed.

  Then he noticed that the woman was in darkness. Katie had painted herself as a shadow fading into the darkness. She was succumbing to his darkness as she tried to guide him into her light, her love. How long he sat there and stared at the painting he didn’t know. It was only when Gabriel licked his face and whined that Cain discovered his cheek was wet. He hadn’t cried since he was a child.

  Katie had painted a masterpiece of love. She was willing to let him go if he could not accept her love. No blame. No recriminations. All he sensed was a sadness that he was unable to reach out and take the love offered him.

  He was a bloody fool. He had thought he was so clever, hiding himself from her. Thinking that she would not be able to accept him as he was. In truth, Lucas was right, he was a coward and an idiot. In seeking to protect himself, he had thrown away the very things he had been looking for all of his life—love and acceptance.

  He may very well be a fool, but he also learned from his mistakes. Katie had met him more than halfway and now it was his turn to reach out to her if he had a chance of saving their relationship. He was gambling on the fact that she truly seemed to love him and he was ruthless enough to exploit that fact if it meant getting her back in his life.

  Pushing himself to his feet, he took a moment to scratch Gabriel’s head and ear to reassure the dog that everything was all right. Gabriel continued to hover close to him, following him up and down the hallway as he moved the paintings.

  Carefully, Cain carried one painting at a time until they were all leaning against the wall in the study. He eased himself into his chair and began to mull over ideas. Gabriel flopped on the floor next to his feet and kept one canine eye on him for a long time before finally going to sleep.

  It was late when he finally left the study and crawled into bed. He had made up his mind about what he had to do. It had to work. The alternative, a life without Katie, was no longer acceptable.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Katie refilled the sugar dispenser and then added napkins to the holder before wiping down the table. She moved to the next table by rote and began the routine all over again. Glancing at the clock, she breathed a sigh of relief. It was ten minutes to closing. She finished the last table and took a quick look around, pleased when she saw only a single couple at a table in the corner. They had already paid for their order and looked as if they were almost finished their coffee.

  Her mind drifted back to this past weekend, which had passed in a blur of emotion. It was hard to believe that only a few days ago, she was happily going about her life and anticipating spending a weekend with Cain. Instead, the last week had been an emotional roller coaster.

  Lucas had plied her with pizza and two comedy videos he picked up on his way back to her place Saturday night. Katie couldn’t even remember what the movies were. She was just glad for his company. She didn’t know what had transpired between him and Cain. He hadn’t said anything and she hadn’t asked.

  Lucas had shown up again early on Sunday
morning and dragged her out to breakfast, insisting that she join him for pancakes and syrup. They followed breakfast with a long drive, stopping occasionally to shop at an indoor flea market, a thrift shop, and finally a bookstore. An early dinner had capped off the day and the sun had gone down for the day by the time Lucas had taken her home. She loved him for keeping her company and trying to take her mind off of her problems.

  Scooting behind the counter, Katie emptied the last of the trays from the display case. Carefully, she transferred the remaining cookies and treats to a large plastic container. They would be bagged and reduced for a quick sale to the morning crowd. Before closing the container, she selected two cinnamon rolls and put them in a takeout box. She approached the couple in the corner with a forced smile on her face.

  “We’re closing now, but I brought you a couple of cinnamon buns for the road.” Katie had long ago found that you could get rid of customers at closing if you offered them a free treat. She didn’t resort to this tactic very often, but today she was desperate to just go home.

  As expected, the couple gratefully accepted her offering, tugged on their jackets and wished her well as they headed out the door. Katie called her goodbyes as they left, but was already ducked behind the counter, grabbing the closed sign from underneath. Katie shrieked as something cold hit her hand. Jumping back she hit her hip on the counter and cursed.

  Sitting before her, totally unconcerned, was Gabriel. His tail was wagging, and in his mouth he carried a single red rose with a note attached. Her hand automatically reached out to pet him even as her eyes searched for Cain, but he was nowhere to be seen.