Not Dead Yet (AM13 Outbreak Series Book 4)

by Samie Sands

  My team might not have agreed with me, but I remained positive. I had to try and see the silver lining, so it was that and the fact that we hadn’t felt the need to inject ourselves right away, because we were locked inside too far away for the virus to ever get us. Those factors were the only possible positives I could focus on during that initial terrible time.

  Only now...now everything has changed. Now, it seems the next port of call is not to try again, not to bother saving the world once more, but it’s to drop a nuclear weapon. I don’t even know what exactly, or where, or why, but I’m sure we won’t survive.

  How have we come from a place where we were going to help everyone, to killing off the majority of the world? I hate it, I despise it, it makes all the pain and suffering we went through mean nothing. I want to stop it, I want to take control of the situation and prevent it from happening, but I don’t have the power. I’m only Abram Orlov, team leader of some small section of a massive operation. Practically a nobody.

  I have to try though. Do I?

  Yes, it would be stupid not to. If we’re all going to die anyway then I need to have a go. I need to stand up to everyone and have an attempt at getting people to see reason. I don’t think my words will mean anything, but I have to try. That’s why I started writing this after all, to let people know that not all of us wanted this to happen. In fact, most of us don’t, but everyone is too freaked out about the world and what it’s become to try, too beaten down by the horror that has become life. People are still putting faith into the Government, even when they’ve proved that they cannot be trusted.

  Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to make a difference in this world. Maybe I’ll be able to stop all of this from getting any worse.

  So, I guess here goes nothing...

  salem

  “Well, hello there, welcome to Camp Numanu. My name is Diana Elizabeth Davis-Rumbold, but of course, you don’t have to call me all of that...what a mouthful!”

  “Right,” I murmur practically incoherently as Diana chuckles loudly. “Erm, yeah thank you.”

  After being out on the road for such a long time, completely alone, and surviving the most horrific situation known to man, this weird sort-of joke feels even stranger. I was drawn here by the signs posted all around Salem, but now I’m thinking that wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had after all. Maybe I should’ve continued on my path to...well, nowhere really.

  “So, would you like me to show you about the place?”

  I run my eyes critically over Diana, trying to figure out whether or not this is something I want. She looks normal enough, with her red curls, dotted with white strands, her freckled face, and her long dark dress which hugs her curvy frame in a very flattering way, but I can’t shake the sensation that something isn’t quite right.

  “Erm...yeah, sure,” I reply, shaking my head rapidly from side-to-side to rid my brain of any negativity. Much as this scares me, the long, hot days on the road with nothing to eat, nowhere to sleep, and most importantly with no one talk to, are worse. I can’t forget what I’ve been through because it’s so much worse than people who might not necessarily be ‘my’ sort of friends. “Thank you.”

  “So, we actually have some pretty cool fortified houses here, clean water, and a constant stream of food from the edible plants. And of course, you’ve already seen how isolated it is, it must’ve taken you a while to get here. But it’s good though, right? It’s almost as if this sort of place was set up for the end of the world. It’s absolutely perfect, I mean we do have to keep an eye out, of course, nowhere is one hundred percent safe...”

  “Wow.” Everything about this statement sends me spiraling into sadness. My fiancé, he’s the one who was prepared for this sort of thing, he was the one who had all these crazy ‘zombie apocalypse’ plans. I used to mock him all the time about it...now he’s the one who’s no longer around, he didn’t even make it past the first few hours, he never got to knock out the stairs and grab all the canned goods in sight. And I’m the one stuck surviving. It’s irony at it’s worst. “That’s so lucky.” None of this life is lucky...but maybe it’s just me that sees that.

  “Oh, I am sorry, you’ll have to forgive me. I forgot to ask your name.”

  “Lauren Long.” I can’t keep the moroseness from my tone, however hard I try.

  “Oh, well, I’m so glad you’re here, Lauren. I know it can’t have been easy to get this far...”

  “So, when did you find this camp then?” I force a bright smile onto my face as I tactfully change the subject. The last thing I want to do is talk about my journey to this place because each bit of it was horrific. I don’t want to think about anyone I’ve lost, anything I’ve had to do, I might not be able to carry on if I begin going down that path.

  “I’ve known about it for ages, I guess I just never considered that it would have to be used for this...then again, no one was expecting this, were they?”

  “Certainly not me.”

  I follow Diana around the camp, trying to drink all if it in, but my brain can’t focus on the odd lush greenery beneath my feet, the incredible-looking fire pit, the off-the-ground houses. I just don’t know if this is where I belong...

  “So, what do you think?” Diana spins on her feet and grins brightly at me, waving her arms around her head. “Do you want to stay?”

  “Are there other people here?” I need every scrap of information, I guess I’m desperately trying not to put any roots down in case I lose everything all over again.

  “There will be.” She nods a little too slowly for my liking. “I’m doing my best to recruit, but it isn’t easy. There are more of them than us now. Not that I’m complaining, I have all I could want here, but still...it just isn’t easy.”

  “So, you don’t have any family?” I hate asking this question since I don’t want to answer it myself, but it doesn’t really matter because I don’t get my answer anyway, just a swift change of subject, telling me all I need to know.

  “The fact that you’re my first guest means you get your pick of houses, so go right ahead. That one’s mine, but any other is up for grabs.”

  I guess that means I’m staying then...

  “Right, thank you.”

  I don’t care where I live, I’m not totally sold on the idea of staying here anyway, so I climb the ladder to the first home I stumble across and make my way inside. This is all so...normal. I mean, of course it’s weird in the grand scheme of things, but in a way, I’ve got so used to fighting that it’s challenging to relax. I’m so out of odds, I really don’t know what to even do with myself, which is why I’m listening to the sound of my own breathing...just to ensure myself that yes, I am still alive! I just don’t know how to be still. I don’t know how I’ll ever get to sleep...

  ***

  Eventually, I must drift off because my eyes become disturbed the brightness of daylight. As I force myself into a sitting position, my aching body can’t quite remember where I am. It feels so weird to have actually had a relaxing sleep, without the constant ‘one eye open’. I probably should feel really good, but actually, I feel like hell.

  I hear a strange noise emanating from the ground which drags me from where I’m sleeping. Much as I’m not sure about Diana just yet, it’s really nice to have some form of communication. As I climb down, I try to revert back to normal human behavior. I haven’t had to act like a human for so long, and it’s amazing how quickly I’ve forgotten how to do it.

  “Diana?”

  She’s sitting on the hard, mucky ground, her eyes closed and a totally serene expression on her face. I cock my head to one side, and examine her, feeling an odd, unexpected pang of jealousy stinging in my stomach. I want that, I would love nothing more than to experience that bliss. All I am is a coiled up ball of inner turmoil, which seriously sucks.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Her eyes flicker back open as she becomes aware of my presence. “I didn’t see you there. I’ve been here by myself for so long, I keep forgettin
g that I have company now. How are you feeling this morning? You look a little better.”

  “Erm, yeah,” I shrug, hating myself for acting so stand-offish when I don’t really feel that way. “What were you doing? Sorry for interrupting.”

  “Just my daily prayers to Bastet.”

  Huh? I’m totally taken aback by that, I don’t even know what to say. “Oh...right.”

  “I’m a Pagan Celtic Witch,” she chuckles, clearly bemused by my stunned reaction. “And Bastet is a cat.” I nod slowly, still none the wiser. “So, shall I sort us out something to eat?”

  My stomach growls loudly, answering for me. “Yes, please, that sounds lovely.”

  “I bet it’s been ages since you’ve had decent grub.”

  “It really has.”

  While she hurries off to feed me, a warmth fills my chest. Diana’s a nice lady, much as all of this is horrible, I really am one of the lucky ones. It might do me well to remember that.

  “So, what do you need me to do around here?” I ask, finally flickering my eyes over the place and actually drinking it in. There are homes as far as the eye can see, and the wonderful trickle of a stream right through the middle. The emerald green grass has smatterings of flowers and plants growing among it, and while I might have no idea what they are, their presence is certainly welcome. They spell out life where there isn’t any. There’s a vibrancy to the place, even if we’re completely alone. “You must need a lot of helping hands around here, it’s a big place.”

  “I’ve been doing pretty well by myself, but yeah there will be lots to do. Together I’m pretty sure we could do a really good job.”

  As I actually picture myself staying, Camp Numanu comes to life in front of my very eyes. I can see a community here, people happily getting along, pitching in and working together. I can see children laughing and playing, something close to real life in among the wildlife. It’s a really nice picture, the happiest image that could form in this time, and maybe I could be a part of it.

  I’ve lost everything...literally everything, but maybe I could gain something else.

  “We really need to start finding people,” I say without really thinking about it. “You have something awesome here, and it seems like you want to share it.”

  “Oh I do, I really do.”

  She’s so sincere that it makes me want this more. Diana has created this, and she’s obviously tried to inspire others to come without much luck, but with my experience out on the road maybe I can make it happen. People may’ve seen the signs, but been too scared to follow them, or maybe they’re too far out. That way, I can always know what’s going on in the world, and I can have somewhere safe to come back to as well. It’ll give me my freedom, and also my security. Maybe that’s exactly what I need to do, to ease myself into this situation.

  “Then I will make that happen...but for now, I would love you to show me what needs doing.”

  “Eat first.”

  She hands me a bowl of goodness knows what, but I scoff it down like I haven’t eaten in my entire life...which isn’t too far from the truth, I suppose. Even consuming it doesn’t give me any further clue as to what I’m eating, but it’s the best damn thing that I’ve ever had in my life.

  ***

  “Okay, so I’m going out.” I force a massive smile on my face, despite the fact that I really don’t feel as confident as maybe I should. I’m used to this, I know this life, but a few days in this camp and actually I’m not as prepared as I thought I would be. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “You will come back, won’t you?” Diana tugs my jacket tighter around me. “I’ve got so used to having you here, I don’t know how I’ll cope going back to just me.”

  I know exactly what she means, which is why I throw my arms around her and I hold her close to me. At one point, while I was grieving for all that I’ve lost, I decided never to let anyone else in, but Diana got under my skin without me even intending her to. She’s my friend now, the only person I have left and I don’t want to lose her as much as she doesn’t me.

  “I won’t go far today,” I promise sincerely. “I’ll just see what’s going on, get a feel for things. I have my knife with me, and a gun tucked into my waistband, so I will be okay.”

  “Yeah...alright, well I’ll miss you.”

  “Keep yourself busy.”

  I turn my back on Diana and force my feet to start walking. My body desperately wants to rebel, it wants to stay right where I am, but my brain is taking charge and doing what needs to be done. It’s stepping, making progress, which feels awesome. At least I’m helping now. I never feel useful around the camp, Diana can do everything so much better than me, but this...this is something just for me.

  As I make my way through the woodlands, I think about all the battles I’ve been in, how many times I’ve taken down the undead, to fill me with some form of determination or confidence, or something...but nope, my heart continues to thunder painfully in my chest. A horrible sense that something is about to go terribly wrong creeps up and down my spine.

  And then I realize why.

  The growling filters my hearing first, causing me to spin around full circle. I grab hold of my knife and hold it directly out in front of me, preparing to do what I’ve already done a million times before. My breaths fall from my mouth, labored and ragged, I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, an ice cold anticipation trickles down my spine.

  Any minute now...

  And here he is, stench disgustingly emanating off of him, a little like wiggly lines. He’s so cartoonish in his grossness that I can almost see them. He’s gotten so thin during his time being infected that his bones have started peeking through, pooling black blood coagulates around each wound. My nose screws up, sickness floods me, but my body does what needs to be done without my brain.

  The body lies at my feet, and that familiar guilt floods me. I know these beasts need to be killed, really it’s putting them out of their misery, but I don’t like it all the same. They weren’t always this, they used to be someone’s family member, someone’s friend. There were human with jobs, a life...and now they’re dead. Of course, their death allows other’s to live, but still it’s never going to feel good however hard I try.

  “Right,” I mutter as I robotically step over his body. “Time to keep going.”

  That sensation that nothing’s right doesn’t leave me the entire time that I’m out. I don’t see another human being, and I also don’t see many more of the infected, but the sensation doesn’t leave me all the same.

  Maybe it’s just because everything has changed...

  “Oh thank goodness!” Diana practically jumps on me as I step back into camp, and clings to me. “I thought you weren’t coming back, I mean you haven’t even been gone too long but...I don’t know, my overactive imagination took control. I prayed and concocted a safety spell for you, but I couldn’t be sure. Not until you came back.”

  It feels really nice to be cared about, it actually makes me feel important. I’ve spent so long feeling insignificant in this version of the world, it doesn’t feel like any life truly matters, so this bolsters my mood and leaves me laughing.

  “I’m back, alright. I didn’t find anyone today, but I will. I’m sure I can.” I’m not sure. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I don’t want to have no good news whatsoever. “I’m glad to be back though.”

  Diana sits in the grass and I join her, allowing the blades to tickle my skin. Appreciating little things like the warmth of the sun and the scent of nature feels awesome. It’s definitely the sort of thing I should’ve done much more of when I had a real life.

  “It’s lovely and warm, isn’t it?”

  “It is,” Diana agrees, now sounding so much happier. “I never usually expose my skin to the sun because I get sunburnt easily, but now...well, it doesn’t matter so much, does it?”

  “It will one day.” I really feel like it will, which allows conviction to roll off my tongue. The more I think about
Camp Numanu, the more I actually feel positive for the future. This could be the one place where real life is realized all over again.

  “Yeah, well I hope you’re right. And I hope they have lots of books with them, I’ve read every single one of mine at least a hundred times.”

  “Oh my God, I love to read,” I exclaim gleefully. “I think I must’ve read about a million books in my life.” Finally, we actually have something in common, a connection to bond us. “I’d love to see what books you have. All my friends have always been readers, we used to exchange our favorite book all the time. I might even have a few in my pack if you’d like to check them out at some point.”

  Diana pulls thoughtfully on her hair, while I desperately wonder what’s going on in her mind. The more I get to know Diana, the more I realize that there’s a real brilliance to her. Everything that comes out of her mouth is considered and meaningful, and wow what a heart she has. She deserves to be the leader of a new community, she has exactly what it takes to build a new, successful society. She has this amazing camp with everything a person could possibly need, she has the incredible pragmatic brain, and at the real base of things she has human interest at heart.

  Diana is the key to a happy ever after in this mess.

  “Oh my goodness, the first thing we need is a library. Everything else can build itself around that.”

  “Priorities,” I smile happily. “You’re a woman after my own heart.”

  ***

  I don’t leave for the next few days because I’m too busy enjoying myself. Me and Diana have a real intense bond, a deep friendship that I love, and our shared adoration for books builds that up with each passing second. I almost don’t want to go anywhere, except for the fact that I don’t want to keep all of this for just us. It feels selfish when the rest of the world has gone to hell.