A Monk's Tail

by Kyle Spencer

  If I can just reach the edge of that cliff I should be able to trick the beast into going just a few feet further, burrowing out into open air and a fifty foot drop. Even with its armor it won’t be able to withstand that fall.

  Jimmy now has a significant lead, reaching the cliff edge a good twenty seconds before me. He turns to me and does a sort of anxious dance. “Whatever you’re going to do I hope you do it soonohgodsBowlookout!”

  The rumble turns into a roar as the bulette leaps out of earth behind me. I turn just enough to see the blue-gray sheen of its armored head and the black hole that is its enormous mouth. Bulettes don’t have teeth; you don’t really need teeth when one bite can turn brick into dust.

  I don’t stop to think - not like I can. Locking eyes with Jimmy for a split second I lower my shoulder and say a quick prayer. The ram realizes what I’m about to do and tries to sidestep but it’s too late. I catch him in his midrif and we both sail over the edge, bulette in tow.

  If I’m gonna die, it’s gonna be on my terms.

  And if Jimmy’s gonna die, well, it’s also gonna be on my terms as well, apparently.

  There’s a startled yawp! behind us. Ha! Take that you fucker. Twisting away from Jimmy I get a glimpse of a bulette that’s very much out of its element. It twists and pirouettes like a ballet dancer wearing full plate armor. It would be quite comical, actually, if we all weren’t plummeting to our doom. Poor Jimmy has even got the ‘free-fall scream’ going.

  But something odd happens: the bulette stops moving. It lingers, suspended in the air, beady eyes looking almost thoughtful. Then, in one sprung motion, it rights itself like a cat and streamlines its body with its momentum. The momentum that’s carrying it straight to...the...other...side…

  Jimmy’s scream is joined by a solid thud as the bulette dives safely into the cliff side like a hot knife into hotter butter. And before I have a very fast and very hard affair with the ground, I voice one more thought:

  “Oh you mother fu-”

  ***

  “Gruss Gott!” Susi exclaims. “How did you survive the fall?”

  “I had a bit of cushion. Walked away with a few broken ribs and a bruised ego.”

  “What cushion?”

  “Jimmy.”

  “What?!” Her face twists into shocked horror. “Did he survive?”

  “Of course, of course. Although he didn’t really walk away. Still has that limp. I think. Doesn’t really talk to me anymore. Hey look! A change in the subject!”

  The old rocky wolf’s teeth begin to sink beneath the horizon behind us. In front of us are countless brown giants with green hair. Susi drops my tail in awe. The trees go on forever to the left and right. I’ve traveled all over the world and been through every type of forest imaginable, but this one puts every other to shame. I’ve skirted around the edge of the Ivywood - a trip that’s a good month at least - but I’ve never actually been in the forest. Too many stories about this place. None of them good.

  “I wonder if there are rivers and lakes in that forest.” Leena says, sounding cheery for the first time since the mountains. “Ooh! Maybe a nice spring in the middle of a sunlit glade. Yeah, that would be nice. A nice, cool spring under the shade of–“

  “No.” I cut her off. The spirit lets out a liquid huff and falls silent. We continue towards the edge of the forest. As we draw closer the trees just keep growing larger. And larger. And larger. The weedy road becomes bumpy and jagged as massive roots snake their way just under the dirt surface. All of us crane our necks up from the road to the top of the colossal plants. “They’re pillars holding up the sky.” I say to myself.

  “Huh?” Leena says with some agitation.

  “Just another story from the monastery. There was a kingdom of clouds ruled over by a greedy and self-righteous king. I...actually don’t remember much of the rest of the story. Wasn’t really paying attention. Something about not seeking material wealth and knowing your place or something like that. But what I do remember is that this kingdom was held up by enormous stone pillars, too big for even giants to move.”

  “So?”

  “So,” I point up at the massive trees. The thick trunks rise up and disappear into plumes of green. “Giant pillars, holding up a kingdom of clouds.” As I shift my gaze from the green above us to the green beside the road I notice a small shadow hidden by a bush. Susi sees it too and tugs on my tail to get my attention.

  “Hey Bow! Over there!” She drags me over to where the small, triangular shadow hides. Shaking her off I pull some of the shrubbery aside. Jutting out from the underbrush is a tiny stone pyramid. Etched into it is one word: Evershade. An arrow directs us to continue deeper into the woods. Evershade. Now why does that sound familiar?

  “Guess we follow the sign.” I motions for for the maus to follow. Not like we have much of a choice, although I’m not necessarily a fan of going further into this dark forest. something keeps tugging at the back of my mind. Something not quite right. Though soon it’s pretty obvious where the name ‘Evershade’ comes from; the only light that seems to make it to the forest floor are tiny rays that find their way through the massive branches overhead. Fingers of sunlight warm my fur as I shuffle along. Susi makes a game of skipping between the circles of light that dot the road, partially to fend of boredom and partially because...because it’s so cold in this forest. Anywhere the light doesn’t touch feels frigid. I’m having a hard time controlling the shivers. Why in Hel is it so damn cold? I continue to walk in silence and Susi continues to skip behind me. Suddenly I stop and she, not paying attention, bumps into my backside.

  “Odd.” I murmur, looking around.

  “Hmm? What’s odd?” Leena yawns as if she just awoke from a nap. Do spirits nap?

  “The forest is empty.”

  “Empty? How so?” The fox spirit replies. Susi stands there, expecting an explanation as well. Birds chirp overhead. The little sunlight that shines through lands on dark green brush. Everything seems normal, but she begins to look around and starts to notice what I’m saying. These woods seem...empty. There’s just no other word for it. “Well?” Leena asks impatiently.

  “I dunno.” I shrug. Susi continues to look around. That’s when we both feel it. A short, chill breeze blows through us and I swear there’s the faintest hint of a whisper. Suddenly Susi jumps on my back, clinging for dear life. I let out a yelp and flail wildly. “Yeeaargh! What in Hel’s name!” Carefully I peel her off and stand her in front of me. My tone softens immediately when I see her face. “Whoa. You okay? What happened?”

  “They moved.” Is all she can whimper.

  “What moved?” Now I’m scanning the surrounding underbrush frantically.

  “The trees–” She stops, suddenly embarrassed, “I…thought the trees had moved.” She tries a half-hearted smirk but her eyes keep shifting from me to the woods. “I guess it was just the wind, huh?”

  “Yeah.” I pat her on the head, but now I’m not fully sure myself if it was indeed the wind.

  We continue onward, only this time with both our heads continually moving from one side of the road to the other. Fortunately there are no more moving trees or whispers in the woods. But it is growing dark, darker than any of us would like, and on top of that the once-straight road begins to twist and turn like snake. We slow our pace, wary of what might be lurking around each new bend.

  After numerous twists and turns and re-twists, we round the next sharp corner and hit a wall. Literally. An impenetrable mesh of brambles towers twenty, maybe thirty, feet above us. Massive thorns bigger than my arm poke out in random directions. Another stone pyramid sits at the base of the wall, its message barely visible in the dying light: Welcome to Evershade. I scoff as I lay a palm on the dark brown vines blocking our way.

  “Sure seems welcoming.” My palm closes into fists and gives the wall three hard knocks. Thunk-thunk-thunk. “Hello?” I shout over the wall. The fur on the back of my neck prickles. Someone is listening. I just can't tell on
which side of the wall they're doing it from. “Hello? Hellooooo! My name is Bow. Me and my companion Susi are but travelers seeking refuge from the night. Will you let us in?” Silence, but not total silence. My hair prickles again as I hear that same whisper as before. I don't look to the trees. I don't want to see if Susi is right about them moving. The maus now has her face buried in my tail and she’s shaking like a leaf.

  “It's back!” She cries. “Bow the whispering is back!” Shit. She hears it too. For once I wish it was just me going crazy. Both fists are now slamming frantically on the bramble wall.

  “Please! Please! I implore you to let us in!” The whispering grows louder and more urgent until it is a quiet scream in my head. Susi screams as well and digs her nails into my tail. I join in, only my screaming are yowls of pain. I throw my entire body against the vines, dragging Susi with me. “For! Fuck's! Sake! Let us in this fucking-” My last word ends in a gasp of surprise as the vines slither apart to reveal a Bow-sized hole in the wall. I charge through and lose my balance, tumbling to the ground below. Susi keeps her grip on my tail as she’s brought down to the ground besides me. I give one last glance behind me to see if we were followed. There is nothing but a black hole in the wall that slowly disappears as the vines come together again. The whispering is no more. “What. The fuck. Was that?”

  “It was something.” Leena says. Even she sounds worried. “I couldn't see it but I could sense it.”

  “Yeah, well, I'm glad it's still out there.” Standing up I brush himself off before offering Susi a paw.

  “Umm…Bow?” She points a trembling finger behind me. Before I can turn around a huge paw - with equally huge claws - clamps down on my shoulder.

  The Lottery

  “So show of hands, who here thinks we need a new storehouse after last month’s fire? Let’s see the ‘Ayes’. Aaaaalright now the ‘Nays’. Okay. The…’Ayes’ have it. Now is everyone sure about this? Alright. We’ll meet at week’s end. Y’all know what to do now.”

  - Ermine Guteau, Former Mayor of Evershade

  We are surrounded by a circle of what seems to be Evershade's citizens; deer, chipmunks, foxes, even a few mausen stand among them. Strange lights along the walls and buildings brighten the town like a noonday sun and show off the fine garments each creature is wearing. Dresses are dappled in shades of green and embroidered with leafy patterns. Coats and trousers are dyed in rich dark colors. They remind me of the sweet, decadent berries that were a weakness of mine back home.

  The bear with his paw on me glares down at us. He wears a maroon coat with matching trousers that fits him perfectly. A maroon top hat sits slightly crooked on his head. Suddenly, he takes a step back and with a flourish twirls the hat off his head and bows gracefully.

  “Welcome!” He bellows. “To Evershade!” When he straightens back up a smile breaks out on his wide face. All the surrounding citizens mimic his grin. Susi breathes a sigh of relief and I begin to relax as well. It's nice to be somewhere friendly, where nobody tries to kill you or make you their property. Although…I’ve been to enough places that only seem friendly on the surface...“Welcome again!” The bear spread out his huge, trunk-like arms. “Oh! But where are my manners? I am Bartreus Archibald Rutherford Trudeau the Third, Mayor of Evershade.”

  “Bartreus...” I begin, trying to wrap my head around the name.

  “Archibald Rutherford Trudeau the Third, yes.” The Mayor nods. “But all my friends call me Bart. And you, my dear firefox and darling maus, are welcome guests here and therefore automatically my friend.” He turns to the crowd. “Alright everyone! Let's give our guests some breathing room. Head home now. It's been...it's been a long day. We shall meet again at sundown tomorrow.” The crowd disperses amid excited whispers. Bart turns back to us. “I am so terribly sorry, but there is some business that I must attend to. Please explore the town at your leisure. If you get lost ask any one of us; we'd be more than happy to assist you. There will be two beds at the inn for you this night, free of charge.”

  “That is very kind of you.” I bow low with palms facing out. Afterward, there’s a kind of awkward silence between us. There's an all-important question I wants to ask but it would be impolite to do so. The mayor catches it and his eyes sparkle merrily.

  “Tell the barkeep that your drinks are also on my tab.” Bart claps me on the shoulder.

  “You are so very kind! I will offer up a prayer for the well-being of you and your town.” At these words the mayor’s face twists a bit.

  “That would be…most appreciated.” He fits the hat to his head and gives it a small tip before trundling off down the street. When he turns the corner the streets became suddenly, unnervingly empty.

  “I thought we could ask anyone for help.” I mutter.

  “That's what Bart said.” Leena chimes in.

  “Doesn't really work when no one's around to ask.” I gesture to the deserted streets.

  “I don't think it's going to matter.” Susi shrugs.

  “Why not?”

  “Look at the buildings.” She points to the nearest one. All the buildings have something in common: they seem to be carved out of the massive trunks of trees. However, each tree has been carved to resemble the function of a specific building. The trunk right besides us kept its cylindrical shape, but the very bottom and top are are wider than the center. Thin spirals mark the middle, and upon closer inspection each spiral has numerous criss-crosses. As I run my fingers along the groves I chuckle a bit. It's thread. Thread on a spool.

  “Holy shit.” I whisper. “So this must be the tailor. Ha! They even carved a needle coming out the top.” I runs my paws along the wooden thread, “But...”

  “But what?” Susi ask cautiously. She’s beginning to get wary of that tone.

  “I've traveled quite a bit and I'm sure you have too. Have you ever seen such fine craftsmanship? I sure as Hel haven't.” I inspect the building again. Yup. Never seen anything like this. Susi glides a finger along the numerous grooves and shakes her head. “That's what I thought.”

  “What else are you thinking?” Leena asks. She seems to be on edge as well.

  “...Nothing for now.” I lie. “All I know is that I could use a drink.”

  We make our way down to the end of the street, passing by a massive wooden top hat, a shoe, and a bowl of fruit. Many smaller trees aren’t carved and still have their bark. Each has one circular window punched out of the trunk. Soft amber light glows from some of them, while others are left dark. These must be the houses of Evershade.

  “Here. Look at this.” I motion for Susi to come over by one of the entrances. Flanking each side of a large arched door are two jars hanging off vines. Each of these jars gives off the same amber glow that is coming from inside the windows, the same glow that seems to permeate this entire town. Drawing closer we notice that each jar contains three or four tinier lights floating in some liquid – the true source of Evershade's illumination.

  “Oh. Oh! They're luxorbs! Duh!” Susi blurts out. Luxorbs are tiny bio-luminescent creatures found in rivers and oceans and are often used when oil lanterns are too expensive – or dangerous. Pretty much every ship uses them for lighting their cabins.

  “That makes sense,” I add, “seeing as how this whole town is made of wood. But aren't luxorbs usually blue or green?”

  “Yeah.” She replies, now curious. Amber luxorbs simply don’t exist as far as I know. Maybe…“Hey! You can't do that!” She hisses as I takes one of the jars off its vine and unscrew the lid. I dip a finger into the liquid and stick it into my mouth.

  “Mmm!” The finger pops out of my mouth with a thin sheen on it. I point to the jar, licking my lips. “It's honey. Good stuff, too!” That would explain the amber glow. Clever. “And if their honey is this good, I bet their mead is second to none. Let's go find that tavern!”

  It turns out that finding a tavern isn't too hard when it’s a giant wooden tankard of ale. Tufts of leaves circle the edge of the rim to resemble fo
am. Cute.

  As detailed as the tavern is on the outside, it doesn't hold a candle to what we see as we enter. Murals etched into the polished wood cover the entire wall. Perfectly crafted tables and chairs dot the floor while corner nooks provide more privacy. A staircase spirals up around the wall, leading to an unseen floor above. The bar itself is simply a polished block of wood with numerous shelves behind it. Each shelf is chock full of bottles of every color, shape and size.

  The entire place is empty. Well, except for a burly, aged squirrel behind the counter. Gray whiskers accent his peppered fur and deep brown eyes watched us carefully. Nimble paws wrapped in soggy dishrags whirl constantly in and out of empty wooden steins. His tail whisks back and forth across some of the bottles on the shelf behind him, kicking up little clouds of dust.

  As we walk up to the bar he attempts a smile but instead he simply seems...sad, not like the crowd outside when we first stumbled into town.

  “Welcome to Evershade.” There is none of Bart's enthusiasm in his ragged voice. “Th' name's Rufus. What can I getcha?”

  “Well met, Rufus.” I nod my head. “My name is Bow and this is Susi. I would like a pint of mead and the little one will take-”

  “Mead too!” She cuts me off. Rufus laughs.

  “Our mead might be a bit too strong for you, miss.” Rufus sees the disappointment in her face. “Tell you what though,” He gives me a knowing wink, “I'll get you a pint of raspberry shandy. I think you'll enjoy it.”

  “Thank you sir!” She smiles at the barkeep and her ears wiggle. Embarrassed, she quickly grabs them and the old Squirrel and I stifle our laughter. Seems her ears sometimes wiggle when she’s excited.

  “Here ya go.” Two large steins are placed in front of us. “I'm going to assume this goes on the Mayor's tab?” Rufus asks expectantly. Interesting. Rufus sees the look on my face and quickly adds, “Call it a hunch. Oh!” His tail stands straight as he stops and fills up one more stein full of mead. “Do me a favor and bring this to the good sir over there in that nook in the far corner. I'm going to get your room ready.”