Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns)

by Monica Alexander

  “I’m pretty sure the Emily that you dated is the same Emily who’s been babysitting Lily for the past year.”

  “No way,” I said, knowing that couldn’t be. “Jen, that’s crazy. Emily doesn’t like Taylor Swift.”

  Jen rolled her eyes. “You seriously need to let that go, Zack. You get hung up on the weirdest crap.”

  “I don’t know, Jen,” Andrew chimed in. “Musical taste is pretty important, I mean–”

  “Well, you know what?” she said, cutting him off. “I like Taylor Swift, okay? When her songs come on in the car, I don’t change the channel. So there.”

  “I like her too,” Kristin chimed in, and I realized we’d gone way off topic. “I downloaded her last album. It was really good.”

  “I know, right,” Jen said, and I noticed Andrew and Leo looking at their girlfriends like they were insane.

  “Okay, let’s focus here,” I said in an attempt to bring everyone back to center. “Jen, there is no way Emily, my Emily, is Lily’s babysitter.”

  “Did anyone else pick up on the fact that he said ‘my Emily’?” Leo asked.

  “I did,” Derrick said, setting the last block on the top of his castle in victory.

  “Me too,” Kristin said.

  “Down, Daddy,” Lily said, already trying to worm out of my lap, so I set her down.

  “Here, I’ll prove it,” Jen said, getting up and going into the kitchen.

  We all watched as Lily very gleefully, knocked down the castle of blocks, much to Derrick’s dismay.

  “Lily,” Kristin said, “You shouldn’t do that. You just demolished the castle Uncle Derrick built for you, because you’re a princess.”

  “That’s right, Lily Girl,” Derrick said, as he pulled Lily onto his lap. “Princesses live in castles, and you’re the most special princess in all the land. Now help me rebuild it, okay?”

  Lily nodded eagerly, as she and Derrick started lining up blocks once again.

  Jen returned a minute later with her camera. I watched in stunned silence as she flipped through her digital pictures, knowing exactly what she was going to show me.

  “Here,” she finally said, shoving the camera under my nose.

  I glanced at the picture before closing my eyes for a few seconds and then opened them again. The picture hadn’t changed. There was Emily, sans nose ring, smiling and playing in a sandbox with Lily when she was just a year old.

  “Shit,” I hissed, forgetting Lily was in the room.

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the rocker for a few seconds. When I opened my eyes, I saw everyone staring at me, too afraid to say anything.

  “Jen,” I said calmly, “does Emily know that I’m Lily’s father?”

  Jen looked puzzled for a second, and then shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so. We haven’t really talked about you before – at least I don’t think we have. Why?”

  “Because I never told her about Lily,” I sighed, and then it was Jen’s turn to curse.

  ***

  “So do you want to explain to me why you didn’t tell me you were dating someone this summer?” Jen asked after I came out of Lily’s room, having gone in to check on her when she’d started crying as everyone had started leaving, making more noise than normal.

  I knew Jen would want to talk to me about Emily once we were alone. The look on her face all night spoke volumes. She was mad.

  “Honestly, Jen, I didn’t really think it was any of your business,” I said, as I settled back into the rocking chair and ran my hand through my hair.

  Jen sat across from me on the couch, leaning forward on her knees, appraising me. “Zack, we have a child together. You might not want to share who you’re dating with me, but you don’t have a choice. I need to know who my daughter is going to be around.”

  “Jen, don’t do this,” I said, hating when she got in one of her moods. She did it constantly when we were dating, and it was part of the reason why we didn’t make it as a couple. She always had to throw shit back in my face. She never let anything go.

  “Do what?” Jen asked innocently.

  I rolled my eyes and started rocking back and forth rhythmically. “Act like I don’t know how to be a good father.”

  “I never said that,” she said, sitting up straighter.

  I gave her a pointed look. “You implied it, and quite honestly, I’m a little sick of it. You’re a great mom, but you’re not perfect, and neither am I, so quit expecting it. It’s not fair.” Jen looked taken aback and tried to get a word in, but I wasn’t finished. “There has not been a single day since she was born that I haven’t been there for Lily, that I haven’t done everything I could to make her life better and be a good father to her. She is a happy little girl who is loved, so just stop. I am not in the mood for your shit right now.”

  Jen rolled her eyes. “Zack I get that you’ve had a bad night. You ran into your ex-girlfriend, and I’m sure it was really traumatic, but you need to put that aside, and stop putting words into my mouth. I get that you feel guilty all of a sudden, because you know how shitty it was to keep the fact that you have a daughter from someone you obviously cared about, but that’s on you. I never said you were a bad father.”

  “Emily was not my girlfriend,” I countered. “And I didn’t tell you about her, because I never had any intention of her meeting Lily. She was a girl I met this summer when I was going through one of the toughest times in my life, and she provided a great distraction. That’s all.”

  Jen threw her hands up in the air as she rose from the couch. “That’s bullshit, and you know it,” she said, pointing a finger at me as she walked to the kitchen. “You cared about that girl. You still do.”

  Jen returned a minute later and handed me a Coke. She sat down, opened a beer and took a long pull. I didn’t meet her eyes for a few moments and shook my head as her words resonated in my mind.

  “She was just someone to have fun with, that’s all,” I said again, as if trying to convince myself it was the truth. “There wasn’t anything real between us.”

  “Zack I know this girl, and she doesn’t date casually. She’s a relationship girl. If you were doing the casual thing, I’m not sure she was on-board with you.”

  “She was,” I insisted. “She’d just gotten out of a five year relationship. She said she wanted something casual.”

  I wasn’t sure why I was arguing with her. I knew what she was saying was true, but it was as if I was afraid to admit it out loud. If I said it, then it would be true, and I’d have to face it head-on. I wasn’t ready to do that. Seeing Emily earlier had thrown me for a loop, and I still wasn’t sure how to process it.

  “It may have started that way,” Jen said, “but I think she feels a bit differently now.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “How would you know? I thought you said she didn’t know who I was. Does she?! Did you talk to her about me?!”

  I leaned forward in the chair waiting for her response, agitation overcoming me. Things would be so much worse if Emily knew my secret.

  “Relax,” Jen said, as she took another pull of her beer, and I sat back. “She told me about a guy she met over the summer. I didn’t know it was you, but I could tell she had feelings for the guy she was talking about.”

  I sighed after a few seconds of silence. “Yeah, I know. She sort of fell for me.”

  “And how did you respond when she told you she loved you?” Jen asked, talking to me like I was a third grader.

  “I told her it wasn’t what I wanted, and I broke up with her.”

  “You dumbass,” Jen admonished, throwing her bottle cap at me. “Why in the hell did you do that?”

  I didn’t answer her at first, but then I said, “Because I didn’t want that – I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, and I definitely wasn’t planning to fall in love.”

  “But you did.”

  “No, I didn’t,” I said emphatically, but even to my ears it sounded weak.

  “Uh, yeah,
you did. I’ve never seen you as rattled over a girl as you were tonight, and I dated you for almost three years. That girl got under your skin. You just don’t want to admit it.”

  “Jen, let it go. There’s nothing between me and Emily. It was just a fun summer thing. We hooked up, messed around, and that’s it. I was surprised to see her tonight, but that’s all.”

  Jen slammed her beer bottle on the coffee table with a loud clunk, and I looked back at Lily’s closed bedroom door waiting to hear that the noise had woken her up. A few seconds later, I heard her cries. She was having a restless night. It happened sometimes, and I knew when she’d woken up earlier that it wouldn’t be the last time. I glared at Jen before I went in to check on her.

  “Hey baby girl,” I said, as Lily stood in her crib, tears running down her red cheeks, her arms extended toward me. “What’s wrong?”

  I lifted her into my arms and held her close to me as she tucked her wet face into my neck. She sobbed as I rocked her, trying to get her to calm down. Jen came in after a few minutes.

  “Hey sweetie,” she said, rubbing Lily’s back.

  Lily’s cries had quieted, but she still whimpered every few seconds. Upon hearing Jen’s voice, she arched out of my arms and reached for her mother, who was holding her pacifier.

  “I thought we were trying to break her from using that,” I asked, as Jen took Lily and placed the pacifier in her mouth. Lily sucked eagerly on it.

  “It helps when she’s like this,” Jen whispered, as Lily rested her head on her shoulder and looked at me. I watched her watching me as her eyelids started to get heavy. “But I usually don’t let her have it.”

  We didn’t say anything else until Jen set Lily, who was sleeping again, back in her crib. I followed her back out into the living room and we sat on opposite ends of the couch.

  “Thank you,” Jen said then, her demeanor markedly changed from a few minutes earlier.

  “For what?” I asked, appraising her.

  “For going in to get her – twice, for taking her to the park on Sundays and watching her overnight when I need a break, and just hanging out with her so I can get stuff done. Thank you.”

  “Yeah, absolutely.” I could hear a level of exhaustion in her voice that I’d never really heard before. Jen was like Superwoman. This was pretty out of character for her.

  She pulled her long blond hair into a ponytail. “It’s just been nice having someone to share the load, you know. It’s been a while since I’ve had that,” she said, and I started to defend myself, but she quickly silenced me. “It’s not your fault. I know you had to make a really tough decision when we came back here, and you stayed with Lynne, and I’m not upset with you. You did the right thing, and I can’t fault you for that, because it’s what I would have done, but being a single mom isn’t easy, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, but you know I do it because I love Lily. I want to be around her. Shit, I’d move her in with me if you’d let me.”

  Jen smiled, but it was a tired smile. “Be careful what you wish for.”

  “It was easier when we lived together, wasn’t it?”

  Jen nodded. “Yeah, it was. Do you want to move back in?” she asked, but I knew she was joking. She leaned her head on her hand and looked at me. “Do you ever wish we were together – you know, like together?”

  I suddenly felt my blood run cold. Did Jen still have feelings for me? She had never, in the three years since we’d broken up, expressed any romantic interest in me. Had she changed her mind?

  Jen laughed and poked my thigh with her toe. “Sorry, I’m just tired. That came out really wrong. Don’t panic, I didn’t fall back in love with you or anything. I was just thinking how nice it would be to be married to, or at least dating, my daughter’s father. You know?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I hate that I can’t see Lily when she wakes up and goes to sleep every night, but I guess that’s just our reality.”

  Jen smiled. “Maybe you, me, Lily, Andrew and Emily can all get a house together. That wouldn’t be weird at all, right?”

  “You really just lumped Emily in there with all of us?”

  She nodded. “You like her, Zack. She’s a great girl, and she loves Lily. I don’t think I could have picked out anyone better for you, and for Lily, for that matter. You said she fell for you, and after her reaction to Kristin tonight, I’d say she hasn’t really lost those feelings.”

  “Jen, please don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Emily’s not the girl for me. We had a fun summer, nothing more.”

  The words felt somewhat choked coming out of my mouth, but it was the truth. I wasn’t the guy Emily wanted. I couldn’t be the guy she wanted me to be. I couldn’t give her what she deserved. It’s why I’d ended things with her in the first place. Of course a part of me wished things were different, but that wasn’t really an option.

  “You have feelings for her, Zack, and she still loves you,” Jen said. “Open your eyes. If you truly wanted something casual this summer, you’d have picked up where you left off with Daphne the summer after we broke up. She was a casual girl, and from what I remember, not so sweet and innocent. You knew when you met Emily that she wasn’t like that. I mean, how could you not?”

  She was right. I had known. I’d known from that first time we’d talked on the steps at my dad’s beach house that she was a good girl, and I’d liked that about her – so much. I’d played along when she said she wanted something casual, because I hadn’t dated in so long, and I really didn’t want a relationship, but if I was being honest, I knew from the beginning that anything with Emily would be far from casual. I’d loved her without realizing it since the first time she’d kissed me. But that didn’t mean we were meant to be together.

  I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “What doesn’t matter?”

  “That I love her and she loves me. We can’t be together.”

  Jen grinned. “So you do love her?”

  I smirked and kicked her foot. “Yes, now shut up.”

  “So, why can’t you be together?”

  I laughed a short, non-humorous laugh. “Because I wasn’t honest. I hid the most important part of my life from her, and when she finds out, she’s not going to forgive me.”

  “She’ll understand.”

  I shook my head. “No, she won’t. She thinks I’m this young musician/bartender who parties and lives this relaxed beach lifestyle. She doesn’t even know me, and when she finds out who I really am, she’s not going to like it.”

  Jen laughed. “Zack, a young musician/bartender/beach bum is you, and there’s nothing wrong with who you are. I know you see yourself as a fuck-up because you’re still bartending at twenty-four, and you gave up your shot at a career in music, and you made some mistakes in the past, but you’ve got to let that all go, because I’ve got news for you: you were never going to go into psychology anyway. You were going to be a songwriter or a musician. You just took a detour and had a kid and helped your mom battle cancer. You did the right things for your family, and that’s what makes you a good guy. Now you have a second chance to pursue your dreams, and you’re going for it – even though I know you’re scared shitless.”

  I eyed her skeptically, still not believing her.

  “Zack, come on,” she pleaded. “Emily is not an unforgiving person, and she loves Lily. Sure, she’ll be shocked when you tell her, but if she truly loves you, it won’t matter.”

  “Okay,” I said through a deep breath. “I’ll think about it.”

  “I’ll call her right now,” Jen offered. “Ask her to come down, so you two can talk.”

  “Come down?” I asked, alarm bells ringing in my head.

  “Yeah,” Jen said. “She lives upstairs. You can go knock on her door if you want. Apartment 402.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Emily

  The whole next week, I was afraid to go anywhere, because of the inherent fear that Zack would be
there. Nowhere felt safe, especially home, because I knew Zack could stop by Jen’s apartment at any time. I couldn’t even go to Starbucks. So I stuck to school, the Gamma Pi house, and home, but made sure to scan the parking lot liberally before venturing into or out of my apartment. I felt like the path between it and my car was no man’s land, and I was in danger of being attacked in such an exposed and open location.

  Not only was I avoiding Zack, but I was also avoiding Jen. I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I’d made a hasty excuse to leave her apartment after the announcement she’d inadvertently made and thankfully hadn’t seen her since. I was afraid of how I would act around her now. Would she be able to see right through me? Would she know instantly that’d I’d slept with Lily’s father?

  Okay, now that just sounded weird.

  But she obviously didn’t know about us. Zack hadn’t told her. If he had, she would have said something. Well, maybe they weren’t that close, but she did have that picture of him in her apartment. No, Zack hadn’t told her. He would have only said something had I been worth mentioning, and obviously I had not been, so there you go. Besides he had a new girlfriend now anyway. He had Kristin, and she and Jen probably got along great. I was old news.

  Thankfully I survived the week without running into Zack or Jen, but then on Friday night I was forced to go out into the real world where there could be landmines hidden anywhere. It was our annual Gamma Pi fundraiser, and my presence was mandatory, even though I was dying to bail. But it was the one event I’d never bow out of since it was for a great cause.

  Rachel told me she would be by my side the whole night just in case anyone I didn’t want to see showed up, which I knew was highly unlikely since everyone I was afraid of seeing had already graduated college and would presumably not be at a sorority fundraiser, but either way, I was prepared. I was on high alert when I arrived at the club where we were holding the event, with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach – and not because I had to dance on stage before hundreds of people dressed like a remnant from a bad eighties rock video. That actually didn’t bother me much at all.