Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns)

by Monica Alexander

  Every year the sisters of Gamma Pi split into teams and paired up with fraternities for a dance competition to raise money for The American Cancer Society. Our dances all had themes and costumes, so for the occasion, I was dressed in an 80’s rocker-chick outfit that included short leopard print shorts, black tights, a black halter top and teased, hair-sprayed hair. It was an awesomely ridiculous outfit that I was sort of enjoying wearing.

  And since I had about thirty minutes before I was scheduled to perform with five of my sisters and six members of Beta Kappa Phi, to Shot Through the Heart by Bon Jovi, which actually fit my mood nicely, Rachel and I decided to camp out at the bar and have some cocktails before I was needed backstage.

  She was plying me with beer to ease my nerves and help me gain some clarity on the Zack situation, which we were discussing for umpteenth time that week. Unfortunately, we didn’t seem to be making much headway, even with multiple beers fueling us. I did have a nice buzz going, though, so performing in front of a crowd wouldn’t be so bad.

  “Okay, starting now, I’m over him, and I’m done talking about him,” I said, finishing my beer and slamming the empty glass onto the bar as a way to punctuate my statement. The bartender shot me a look before going back to wiping down the counter in front of him.

  “Okay!” Rachel said, pumping her fist into the air. “I believe you!”

  “No, you don’t,” I grumbled, my resolve fading.

  “No, I don’t, but that’s because you don’t believe you,” she said, pulling my attention back to her.

  I shook my head and whimpered, as I dropped my head to the bar. “No, I don’t.”

  Rachel put her arm around me, rubbing my back. “It’ll okay, Em. It’ll just take time.”

  “It’s been three months,” I grumbled. “I should be over him by now! Why did I have to run into him? And while he was with his hot new girlfriend! I think that sucked the most.”

  “He’s a jerk. Focus on that,” Rachel advised.

  I pulled my head up. “Okay, for now at least.”

  I knew I could only pretend to see Zack as a jerk for so long before my other feelings for him crept up and took over. It completely sucked. Why couldn’t I just see him for the asshole he was? And not because he was dating someone else – he’d broken up with me, so I couldn’t fault him for dating. I could hate him for it, but I couldn’t fault him. What I could fault him for was being a lying assface. But maybe he had his reasons for not telling me about Lily.

  No, I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t rationalize this. The guy had a kid, and all summer he never once mentioned her. He was a jerk.

  “Yeah, for now you can pretend to hate him,” Rachel said, patting my shoulder and bringing me back to the present.

  I turned my head to look at her. She was being as supportive as she could be, knowing I wasn’t going to snap out of my crappy disposition very easily. It was like I’d taken three steps backward just by seeing Zack. All of my emotions were at the surface again, raw and exposed for everyone to see. I wanted to ignore them, but that feat was easier said than done.

  My phone buzzed at that moment, and I looked down to see if it was my cue to head to the stage. Vincent, my Beta Kappa dance partner, was supposed to tell me when we were the next group up. It wasn’t him, though. It was Ben.

  Break a leg. I love you!

  I rolled my eyes, turning my phone over, so I couldn’t see the text.

  “Regretting the whole ‘getting back together with Ben’ fiasco?” Rachel asked.

  I shrugged, her non-supportive words not lost on me. “We’re not back together. We’re seeing other people,” I grumbled.

  “Do you want my advice?” she asked.

  “What?” I grumbled again.

  “You might want to actually see other people!”

  I glared at her.

  “What?!” she asked, taken aback. “Right now Ben thinks you’re exclusive because as much as you keep telling yourself you’re not, neither of you is seeing anyone else. He’s in love with you, so of course, he’s relishing in the fact that you aren’t dating other guys. He’s going to keep pushing you for more unless you show him that you’re serious. Besides, it might help you get over Zack if you make out with someone else.”

  I shot her a look letting her know I thought she was insane. Dating someone else would not solve my Zack problems, but it might help the Ben situation just a bit. Maybe she was onto something.

  “Emily, we’re up next.”

  I turned around to see Vincent standing in the doorway to the front bar, which we’d chosen since it was much less crowded. Most everyone was in the main area of the club watching the performances.

  “He’s cute,” Rachel muttered, taking in Vincent’s tall, lean frame, light brown hair and sexy smirk. “You should date him.”

  I laughed out loud. Vincent was a nice guy, but I’d never thought of him in that way. He was a sophomore, and we’d only met two weeks earlier. “Yeah, okay,” I said, as I hopped off my barstool.

  “Have fun,” Rachel said, as she put her hand on her heart in a dramatic, overly-exaggerated gesture. “Dance your heart out!”

  I rolled my eyes at her and did an exaggerated cheerleading move from high school that made her laugh.

  “You’re not leaving, are you?” I asked, knowing she was itching to get away from the Greeks.

  “I’ll be in the front row, baby,” she said, blowing me a kiss. “Now cheer up, get out there and raise some money to cure cancer.”

  “Alright. I’ll see you later, and the ‘getting so drunk we have to call a cab to take us home’ shall commence.”

  “Don’t forget to smile!” she called after me, imitating our cheerleading coach, Mrs. Cutler, from high school.

  As I walked toward Vincent, my buzz kicked in, and in a moment of drunken insanity, I threw caution to the wind, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, just to see what would happen.

  “Whoo-hoo,” Rachel called out as my lips locked with Vincent’s and he realized what was happening and started kissing me back. I pushed my body flush against his and parted his lips with my tongue, feeling rebellious delight as his tongue met mine, and I tasted sweet mix of alcohol and cinnamon.

  “Whoo-hoo, Vincent! Show her how it’s done,” Rachel heckled from the bar.

  “What was that for?” Vincent asked when we parted, both of us a little flushed.

  “For good luck, baby,” I said, patting his cheek lightly with my hand a few times. Behind me I heard Rachel laughing and whooping at my brazen move.

  I turned around and blew her a kiss. “You want to be next, Rach?” I asked, making her laugh harder before she puckered up her lips, playing along.

  “Bring it on cutie,” she called back, grinning widely at me.

  “Are you guys being serious?” Vincent asked, and I could tell he wasn’t completely sure that we were joking. I ignored him.

  “Yeah right,” I said to Rachel with a wave of my hand. “Like I’d kiss those lips after they’ve been on my brother’s. Yuck.”

  “You should be so lucky to kiss these babies,” Rachel said. “Now get to that stage. I have to call my boyfriend and let him know someone’s been hitting on me. He’ll probably want to kick your ass.”

  “Pshh,” I said, waving her off. “I could take him. I know all of his weaknesses.”

  Rachel just laughed as she hopped off her stool and ducked outside.

  “Don’t talk too long. We’re on in five,” I called after her.

  Backstage the Beta Kappa’s had been throwing back shots. It seemed they had the same idea as me in numbing their senses. Hopefully Vincent wasn’t too drunk to keep up with the dance. I didn’t need him dropping me during the performance.

  “Em, there you are!” Cori Marks said, hands on her hips, as soon as I appeared.

  I ignored her and grabbed a shot out of Liam McCormick’s hand and threw it back. Cori stared at me wide-eyed for a few seconds before she shook off her annoyance and
rallied us all together for a pre-show pep talk. Vincent came up behind me, and put his hands on my waist.

  “Okay guys, we go on in two minutes. Are we ready?!”

  Cori was a UNC cheerleader and never really turned off her pep. I half-expected her to do a herkie right there in the middle of the club.

  “Ready, boss,” Clay Warren said, stepping up and saluting her. She giggled. She had a huge crush on him.

  I wanted to bang my head against a nearby pole, but it was too far away.

  “Ten bucks says he nails that tonight,” Vincent whispered in my ear, which made me start laughing.

  “You’re on,” I said, knowing it would never happen. Cori would make Clay wait at least a month before taking that step.

  As soon as we got on stage, I searched the crowd for Rachel. She blew me a kiss when we made eye contact, and I smiled back. I found Ben standing with some of his football buddies on the opposite side of the room from where Rachel was, and I knew she was avoiding him. He smiled and gave me a giant thumbs up.

  My eyes continued scanning and came to a screeching halt when I saw Zack standing in the crowd a few rows back from the stage. My heart instantly started pounding in my chest, and I shook my head a few times, trying to make sure I wasn’t just seeing things, and simultaneously tried to get Rachel’s attention. She was about fifteen feet from him, but she wasn’t looking at me.

  My heart literally ached as I stared at him, standing there, a drink in his hand, his dark hair framing his face and his expression stoic, as he looked directly at me. Suddenly, the corners of his mouth curved up into the sweet smile I’d been privy to a hundred times over the summer, and I wanted to run off the stage, so I could talk to him.

  All negative thoughts I should have been feeling toward him completely flew out of my head, and I wanted nothing more than put my arms around him and ask him what he was doing at our Gamma Pi fundraiser. Had he come to see me? How had he known I would be there?

  My pulse beat rapidly. I wanted to push his hair out of his face and put my hands on his cheeks and look into his brown eyes. I wanted to kiss him and tell him I loved him and hear him say it back. I was having trouble breathing, as I looked at him, wishing for all the things I couldn’t do, that would never happen, because all of a sudden, Kristin walked up to him and pulled his attention away. I was instantaneously reminded that Zack had moved on and he didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about him.

  Kristin smiled at him, and he smiled at her, his arm slipping around her shoulders. I narrowed my gaze and glared at them.

  “Emily!” Cori yelled, tearing my gaze away from Zack and Kristin. I looked over at her. “Are you ready?”

  She looked urgent, and I wondered how many times she’d called my name before I’d actually heard it.

  “I’m ready,” I yelled back, and she grinned at me before nodding to someone off-stage to start the music.

  I have close to no recollection of dancing on stage that night as my mind was elsewhere, but somehow I got through the routine with no mistakes. When it was done, Vincent picked me up in a big hug and swung me around before we all ran off-stage where Cori huddled us together to sing our praises. I needed her to hurry up. I desperately wanted to see if Zack was still in the audience. What had he been doing there? It was a college event. He wasn’t a student. How the hell had he even found out about it?

  I’d made up my mind during the routine, as Zack had watched me intently, that faint smile never leaving his lips, that I needed to talk to him. I wanted some answers, and even if I didn’t like what he told me, at least I would know the truth.

  Why had he been smiling at me?

  As soon as I could break away, I left the backstage area, my eyes darting to where he’d been, but I couldn’t find him. Had I imagined him there? No, I had definitely seen him. He’d been in the audience.

  Ben texted me that he was heading home. He always insisted on getting a good night’s sleep before a game, and they were playing at noon the next day, so he didn’t want to stay out too late. Rachel met me by the stage entrance, and I quickly filled her in on what I’d seen. She cursed herself for not seeing Zack when he’d been so close to where she was standing. I forced her to do a lap around the club with me, but it was too crowded to find Zack, if he was even still there.

  Having sobered up considerably, and in no mood to stick around, I talked Rachel into just going home. I was ready to clean off my rocker make-up, wash the hairspray out of my hair and watch a really depressing movie.

  Rachel continued to offer words of support as we got into my SUV, but they had little effect. When I looked forward to see if I could pull through the parking space in front of me, I noticed something stuck under my windshield. I sighed audibly, thinking it was probably a flier for a bar. If I didn’t get it, it would fly off while I was driving, and I would be a littering. I wasn’t a big fan of that, so I got out to retrieve it, cursing the person who’d put it there.

  It was then that I realized it was a CD case. It looked like the mixes that Rachel put together, but the only marking on the front of the case was a drawing of a crown in blue permanent marker. I opened it up, and on the CD inside was written Emily’s Mix, inside what looked like a sandcastle, in the same blue marker.

  “What is that?” Rachel asked, leaning over to see what I was holding. She gasped. “Holy shit! Is that from Zack?”

  At the idea that the CD was actually a gift from Zack, I quickly pulled it out and jammed it into my CD player. There was nothing for a few seconds, but then as I drove out of the parking lot, the chords of a song started to play. Not just any song, but Use Somebody by Kings of Leon, played and sung acoustically by Zack. I slammed on my brakes and stopped the car in the middle of the lot, trying to catch my breath that was suddenly coming in short bursts.

  Zack had been there. I had seen him. He’d put the CD on my car. Oh, my God, oh, my God. What the hell was happening?

  “Holy shit,” Rachel muttered again, as she realized what the gesture might mean.

  I started driving again, pulling out onto the main road as Rachel reached out to click to the next track. I almost slapped her hand away, but then I heard the next song, and it made me gasp out loud. It was Zack again, singing an acoustic version of Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore, the song we’d talked about when we’d first met – my favorite song.

  Tears sprung to my eyes, and my hands started to shake, as I tried to focus on the road in front of me.

  “Pull over!” Rachel demanded, when she saw I was slowly losing my grip.

  I eased my car over to the shoulder and turned it off, leaving just the music playing, as the tears silently fell down my face. Rachel was silent as we both stared at the CD player. The song ended and the next one began. There were ten songs in all that we listened to in their entirety, as we sat on the side of the road in utter silence. They were all songs Zack had played for me over the summer, but what got to me the most was what he said right before the last song on the album.

  It was the only time he spoke on the CD, and his words were full of anguish. He said, “Sometimes we make a mistake, but what’s worse is the regret we feel once we realize how big our mistake actually was, especially when we realize it’s too late to take it back. Sometimes all we want is to say ‘I’m sorry’.” Then he launched into a rendition of Regret by Liar’s Edge, and I completely lost it.

  My shoulders shook as I listened to Zack’s clear, pure voice break out over the sound of his guitar, the tears falling silently so I could focus on hearing his words. The music ran through me, just like it had when he’d played it for me all those months ago, and my heart pounded as his words played over and over through my mind. What was he saying? Did he regret breaking up with me, or was this just his way of apologizing?

  He had a new girlfriend, after all, so it wasn’t like he was looking to get back together. Hell, he’d brought his new girlfriend with him tonight. What the hell kind of gesture was he trying to make? In a few short mom
ents, I went from being overwhelmed to distraught to angry.

  “You have to call him,” Rachel said, as soon as the song was over.

  I reached over and thumped her on the back of the head. “Are you stupid?” I asked, realizing just how harsh I’d sounded.

  “Ow!” she said, reaching over and thumping me back. “Bitch.” She rubbed the back of her head.

  “Sorry,” I said, fanning myself with my hand. “Emotions are a little out of control at the moment. I’m not sure what the hell to feel.”

  She leaned away from me, so she was out of striking distance. “Why am I stupid?”

  “He has a girlfriend. I’m not calling him. Besides, I deleted his number back in September. You know that.”

  “No, I don’t know that. Why did you delete it?”

  “Uh, because I was pissed, and I didn’t want to be tempted to call him.”

  “That was stupid.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, I know, but really how was I ever supposed to know that he would end up living here, that I would see him again. What were the odds, really?”

  “Yeah, good point. Why don’t you talk to Jen?”

  I looked at her like she was insane. “Uh, no. I’m not involving Jen in this. What am I supposed to say, ‘I’m in love with your baby-daddy. Has he ever mentioned me, and if so, how does he feel?’ No, that doesn’t sound crazy at all.” I paused for a beat, shaking my head. “Shit, what am I thinking, Rach. He has a kid with her!”

  “A kid you adore, might I remind you.”

  “Yeah, but still. This is so messed up.”

  “Just talk to Jen. Ask her for his number.”

  I raised my eyebrow at her. “Why? So she can tell me he has a new girlfriend and to not waste my time. No thanks. Besides, I don’t even know if they get along. She’s his ex, and they have a baby together, but they’re not together. There’s something wrong with that picture.”

  “Not everyone ends up with the person they have kids with, Em. Don’t fault him for that.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, but really, the mystery of Lily and his relationship with Jen is just one more thing I don’t know about him, because he didn’t share it with me.”