Finding Bliss (Bliss #1)

by Cassie Strickland

  He had it all fucked up.

  “No, you left her alone.”

  “You won’t ever understand. I’m not going to go into it more.” He ran his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. “Look, as of yesterday, I thought she’d be fine. But then she called me after the funeral. Once I heard about Jon’s wife, I knew I needed to be here. Things were far worse than I could have ever imagined. How could I know something like that?” He threw his hands in the air and turned his back to me.

  “Tell me about Jon. Why would he marry a woman that looked almost exactly like his sister? I couldn’t believe it when I saw Clara. Her and Stacy… It’s eerie, Galen.”

  “I can’t give you the details, Grey. You are in pain over his death. That’s understandable. And I can sympathize with your confusion and the fact that you want answers.” When he turned back to me, compassion was set in his features, but there was a resilience, too. “Clara said that Jonathan was the town’s preacher?”

  I nodded. “He did a lot of good here. The person Clara is makin’ him out to be is hard to swallow. I wouldn’t have given it a thought if I hadn’t seen her and Stacy’s resemblance. You could’ve told me he was Satan himself and I would have laughed in your face if it weren't for that. Jon was good and honest and kind. I trusted him completely. With my life. Even my family’s.”

  Galen’s mouth soured. “He fed you all a load of shit. He was always good at that. Jonathan was the master manipulator.”

  I didn’t say anything. I was waiting. I needed more confirmation of what my gut was telling me.

  “He was bad. The lowest of the lows, Grey. He liked to use God’s name for his own purposes.”

  I waited again.

  But it was a punch to the gut to hear him say that.

  That wasn’t Jon.

  “Did he tell you about his parents?”

  That question blindsided me, so I stuttered a bit. “No…uh… No. But Clara did…last night.”

  His head rocked back, shocked. “She did? Huh…”

  What isn’t he saying?

  “Huh, what? Why is that so hard to believe?”

  “Because she barely talks about the past. She keeps it all bottled up. She must trust you to a certain degree.” He nodded. “That’s good.”

  “Galen,” I growled.

  “She didn’t trust you enough, though.” He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, contemplating. He must have come to a decision because he went on. “Her mom didn’t just kill her dad, Grey, Jonathan set the whole thing up. Their mother loved them passionately, almost too much. They meant the world to her, and Jonathan knew it. He was pissed that they sent him to boarding school, so he called his mother and told her that his father had been molesting him since he was a little boy. It was a lie, of course, but she didn’t know that. He explained his behavior – the reason they sent him away in the first place – as a way of acting out against his father. It broke her mind, Grey. Completely. She went mad. He manipulated her to play right into his hand. He confessed to Clara later that he hoped his mother would divorce their father or kill him for what he supposedly did – it didn’t matter to him. He didn’t expect her to turn the gun on herself, though.”

  God, no.

  No!

  “What?!” I croaked and stumbled a couple of steps into the yard. I felt like I’d just been hit with a baseball bat. This couldn’t be true.

  “That is something that only a few know, Grey.”

  I gave Galen a sideways glance. “Why wasn’t he prosecuted?”

  “For what? Telling a lie? If I thought for one second he could have been prosecuted for that, I would have made sure it happened. Jonathan was a sick, sick individual. He had no remorse for what he did, either. He laughed about it. Bragged to Clara about it. If I only…”

  It was my turn to spin away.

  This was Jon?

  The real Jon?

  “I bet if you look behind who you thought Jonathan was, you’d find something completely different. Jonathan didn’t do anything without a purpose, Grey. There’s a reason he was in this town. And his use of God?” Galen shook his head, his expression pained. “There was a reason he put himself in the position he was in here. He loved power. Craved it.”

  I faced him again, not able to fathom that, even after Galen’s insight, but it wasn’t something I could ignore.

  “What did he do to Clara? Was she scared of him because of what he did to their parents? I have a feelin’ it is more. What happened?”

  “It isn’t his story to tell, and it’s not something I’m going to tell you.” I spun around and found Clara standing in the doorway, glaring at both of us. “And it’s definitely not Galen’s place to tell you about my parents. I told you all I wanted you to know, Grey.”

  “Clara,” Galen started to say.

  “No. I don’t have time for this. We have to get going soon, and I need Grey’s help.” She looked at me again. “Bella’s hungry. I’m not entirely sure what to do.” Her body was rigid again, far from the woman that went to bed last night.

  Shit.

  “Bella’s here?” Galen glanced between us.

  “That’s another thing we will be discussing later,” Clara seethed. “I should’ve been told about her before I got here.”

  “Clara… Girly, I…” He took two steps toward her, but she turned around and rushed back into the house. Galen glared at me. “What have you done?”

  “What you should’ve,” I fired back.

  “What happens if she’s not given guardianship? What’s that going to do to her? I didn’t want her heart broken yet again, Grey.” His face flushed red with anger once more.

  I didn’t think about that.

  Still…

  “She had to know. It was her right. I wasn’t about to surprise her again. She’s had enough of that. You can’t keep her misinformed. It’s not fair to her. You are takin’ her choice away, when it’s not yours to do so. She’s a grown woman!”

  “Damn you, Grey! It’s going to destroy her if Bella doesn’t come home with her. You don’t understand!”

  “Then tell me!”

  His shoulders slumped. “I can’t,” he whispered, defeated. He turned and started to walk away. “I’ll meet you at the attorney’s office. I’m not going to let her go through that alone.”

  My laugh was not humorous. “Like you did yesterday?”

  He shot me the finger over his shoulder as he continued to walk away.

  I scrubbed my face with my hands, confused. I was frustrated that he didn’t shed any more light on Clara. Finding out about Jonathan’s hand in his parent’s death… That had me… Shit, I didn’t know how I felt about that, but furious didn’t come close.

  When I opened the door, I was met with Bella’s wail. Clara was standing in my kitchen, bouncing her. It only took me a moment to take in the scene. Clara was still wearing her pajamas, her hair messy from sleep, but her expression said that she was overwhelmed. There was a bottle on the counter and a formula container next to, part of its contents spilled on the counter. She glanced at me, pleading with me silently.

  As I rushed over to her, my anger and confusion was forgotten. “Have you ever taken care of a baby before?” I asked as I grabbed the bottle.

  She shook her head. “No. Never. I don’t know what to do. You’re going to have to give me a crash course. I managed to change her diaper, though. I got lucky there.” She gave me a tiny smile.

  “It’ll come naturally soon enough. Don’t worry.” I heated some water in the microwave for a few seconds and then tested it to make sure it wasn’t too hot.

  “You make it all seem easy,” she stated as I added the formula and shook it up.

  “Kids are easy to some extent. If you have the fundamentals down, you’re good.” I grinned at her. “Bein’ in this town, I’ve had my fair share of practice. Kids are fun.”

  She didn’t say anything as I handed over the bottle. Bella was impatient to get it in her mouth an
d gulped it down greedily.

  “She’s a hungry little thing,” Clara murmured, her eyes shining as she stared at Bella. “Am I doing it right?” She peered up at me, almost glowing.

  “Yeah. Perfect.” I didn’t think my words were to answer her question; I believed they spoke of the woman in front of me.

  I broke our stare. I needed to get those thoughts out of my mind. With all the questions swirling in my head, attraction was the very last thing I needed to feel for her.

  “I’m gonna jump in the shower while you feed her. When I’m done, I’ll take care of Bella so you can get dressed. We can get on the road afterward.”

  She flashed me a dazzling smile that did nothing for my resolve.

  Yep, definitely fucked.

  ♥♥♥

  I watched from the doorway as Clara lay Bella down in the playpen for her nap. She touched Bella’s soft cheek and smiled sadly before walking towards me.

  I moved to the side so that she could close the door, saying, “It’s gonna be okay. I’m sure there’s a way around it. You’ll see.”

  She glared at me, her eyes shooting fire. “Oh, really? It’s not your life that’s being turned upside-down. I’m going to have to move away from my home, my life…” She stomped to the dining table, where Galen was reading a copy of Jon and Stacy’s will again.

  The morning had turned into a cluster-fuck of epic proportions for numerous reasons.

  “Is there anything we can do?” Clara asked Galen as she sat next to him.

  She’d finally gotten over her anger after she and Galen had a heated discussion in front of Mr. Lyndon’s office. I watched from the window, wondering what was said. It ended with them hugging and smiling before walking inside. The fact that their issues were easily resolved showed how much they loved one another. I liked that Clara had that since she had no one else.

  Galen sat the papers down in front of him and frowned, looking at her over the rim of his reading glasses. “We can contest it, but Mr. Lyndon was pretty thorough. Plus, a judge might not find it completely unreasonable, considering your financial situation. You can live anywhere in the world comfortably.”

  I sat across from Clara as I stated, “I don’t want Jon’s money, Clara.”

  Jon and Stacy were a lot wealthier than I’d imagined, their net worth staggering. I about fell out of my chair when Mr. Lyndon handed me a financial report of their accounts and assets. They put aside a trust fund for Bella for when she was older, which took up a healthy chunk of their holdings, setting her up for life. Their house and the church now belonged to both Clara and me, with the request that we carry on their program for runaway teens. The rest of their funds were split between us, seventy-thirty.

  Guess who got the seventy percent?

  Me.

  I still couldn’t believe it.

  Obviously, it wasn’t as much as Bella stood to inherit, but it was still a lot of money. I’d lived in Bliss my entire life and planned on staying here until the day I died. I loved this town. I loved the B&B. Wealth like Jon had left me was never something I aspired for or ever thought was attainable. It was mind-boggling to say the least.

  “You can have every penny for all I care. That’s not what matters! It’s Bella! How in the hell am I supposed to move here? I live in Chicago! My job, my life… Why would he do this?!” She slammed her hand on the table angrily.

  I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling uneasy. “I don’t have an answer for you, Clara. But honestly, this town isn’t bad. I’m sure you’ll grow to love it.”

  Still, I thought it was jacked that the stipulations in Jon and Stacy’s will said that Clara had to remain in Bliss if she wanted to raise Bella. If not, I was to receive guardianship. Talk about being put between a rock and a hard place. Clara’s eyes shot molten lava at me when she heard that tidbit.

  “Jonathan wanted her raised here for a reason,” Galen cut in, not saying anything we didn’t already know – Lyndon had covered it all. “Your best bet for now, until I can come up with a solution, is for you to move here, Clara. If you want Bella, it’s the only way.”

  “I know that,” she snapped, but then closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m still shocked.”

  We’d get nowhere if we went around and around like this.

  “So let’s make a plan. Jon had plenty of space at his house. I’m sure we can get you settled there.”

  “No! God, no!” She looked at me like I’d lost it.

  “Okay…” I glanced at Galen and found him staring at me, but his expression read do you not remember our conversation? “Not Jon’s then. I don’t think it’ll be too hard to find you somethin’. For the time bein’, you can stay here.”

  “That’s sweet, Grey, but…” Clara took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “How long do you think it’ll take to contest it, Galen? Do you think it’s even possible? Or should I just deal with this and move here permanently?”

  God, she looked so lost.

  It took everything in me not to wrap her in my arms and tell her it would all be okay.

  Galen contemplated her question, but then shook his head. “I don’t see this changing, Clara. I’m sorry, but with everything that the judge will consider… Jonathan and Stacy wanted their daughter raised here. He’s going to look at this small town and then Chicago. I think this is something you need to accept and prepare for.”

  Why did I feel like Galen was lying through his teeth?

  “So there’s no way?”

  “As far as I can see, no. But that won’t stop me from trying.” Galen reached over and took her hand in his. “Why don’t you think on it for a bit longer – let the shock wear off before you make a decision. It might be what’s best for you in the long run. A new beginning, maybe.”

  Clara pulled her hand away. “I don’t see it as the best thing for me, Galen. Being here will be a daily reminder of Jonathan. People will want to talk to me about him. They’ll be curious. How in the hell am I supposed to do this?” She stood from the table and dashed toward the door, tugging on her coat.

  She was wearing another one of those power-suits that I’d come to hate – even though they fit her beautifully, showcasing her drool-worthy figure – and her hair was up in a bun again. I liked her face clear of makeup and her long hair cascading down her back. It showed off her natural, true beauty. Seeing her like that for the first time last night…it was awe-inspiring.

  “I’m going outside for a few minutes. I need to be alone. Please, listen for Bella.”

  As I watched the door close behind her, I shrugged off my appreciation and turned to Galen. “You’re lyin’ to her.”

  His head rocked back and his eyes flashed, but then a calmness came over him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m giving her my best legal advice.”

  “Is this another way you’re tryin’ to push her to live?” I asked, remembering his words from earlier. “Is there somethin’ in this for you? I thought she was like a daughter to you. Why would you lie to her and have her move clear across the country? I figured you’d want her with you.”

  He gathered the paperwork on the table and slipped it into the file. “I think you are jumping to conclusions, Grey. If I thought she’d be able to live in Chicago with Bella, I’d make sure it happened. But this will is ironclad.” He tapped the file with his fingers.

  I wasn’t convinced.

  “So what’s the plan now?”

  Galen tilted his head and eyed me. “Why are you so interested? Your involvement isn’t needed any longer. You heard Mr. Lyndon – you don’t have any responsibility now that Clara is Bella’s guardian, and you are a very wealthy man. You are free to go.”

  He had a point, but I wasn’t going to say that.

  “If you missed it, Galen, I drove her to Lyndon’s office and you’re in my house. I’m invested and involved in this. I love that little girl. I’m worried about what’s gonna happen to her…and Clara.”

  “Are you sure you don’t have any
other motives?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I barely know you two. What in the hell does that mean?”

  “You’re a man, Grey, and Clara’s a very beautiful woman.”

  “Are you playin’ matchmaker now? Seriously?”

  He glared at me. “I can barely tolerate you. You’re asking questions and sticking your nose in places it doesn’t belong. I’m making sure you back off and leave Clara alone.”

  I chuckled. “You have an overactive imagination.”

  “I see the way you look at her, son. I’m not blind.”

  Great.

  I was hoping I hid it better than that.

  “You’ve got nothin’ to worry about.” I got up from the table and strolled to the door. “I’ve gotta get to my parents’ house.” I pulled on my coat. “Call if you need anythin’. You’ve got my number.”

  “I don’t think we’ll need anything else from you, son.”

  I rolled my eyes and walked out the door. Clara was standing to the side, staring up at the mountains. It seemed like it had dropped twenty degrees since we’d got back, and her breaths were coming out in white puffs. I strode up next to her and crossed my arms over my chest, keeping my gaze trained on the distance.

  I really did love this town. Seeing the mountains and all the colors…it had a sense of peace to it that grounded me, making me grateful for the little things in life.

  “You okay?” I questioned.

  I heard her exhale. “Yeah. Just a shock.”

  “You’ve had a lot of that the last few days.” I gave her a sidelong glance and was about knocked over by the sun on her face, intensifying the blue of her eyes and the beautiful tones in her hair.

  I told myself to knock it off. Clara was not a woman to get involved with. She had issues and secrets that were far too big for me to handle. I liked my relationships fun and easy, without complications.

  “Yeah, I have. But I’ll be all right.”

  “I gotta get outta here. You have my number. Call if you need anythin’, anythin’ at all. I’m more than happy to help.” I might not want to get involved with her, but she was here on her own and needed help. “If you need someone to watch Bella or need a break, let me know. You already have a slew of babysitters that love Bella – my mom bein’ one of them. You’re welcome to whatever’s in the fridge, too.”