Finding Bliss (Bliss #1)

by Cassie Strickland

  She tilted her head to peer up at me and smiled a true, genuine smile. “Thanks. I appreciate that, Grey.” She closed her eyes and turned back to the mountains.

  “See you around, Clara.”

  “Bye, Grey.”

  ♥♥♥

  “So how’d it go?” Mom asked as I sat on her couch. Dad and Sam where relaxing on the other.

  I stared at Sam, my brow cocked. “Why aren’t you at work?”

  Sam’s gaze was amused. “And miss this? Hell no. Mrs. Birdie is coverin’ for us.”

  Dad ignored Sam, questioning, “So, what did Lyndon have to say?”

  I got comfortable, my exhaustion starting to set in. Jesus, it felt like a year since Jon died, and it hadn’t been a week.

  “Well, Clara’s officially Bella’s guardian.”

  “That’s good news, but we figured that was gonna happen.” Mom’s eyes brightened with unshed tears. “I’m gonna miss that little girl.”

  I let out a bark of laughter, confusing everyone. “You don’t have to worry about that, Mom. One of the stipulations was that Clara lives here. If she doesn’t, I gain guardianship.”

  “What?! You’re serious?” Sam sputtered, enraged. “That’s totally unfair! What about Clara’s life in Chicago? How could he do that to her?!”

  “No idea,” I told them. “But it’s happenin’. Galen-”

  Sam perked up. “He’s here? I hope you gave that sorry son of a bitch a piece of your mind!” Apparently, Sam was still fuming about yesterday.

  “Watch your mouth, Samantha,” Mom chided.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I gave him an earful.” I’d fill them in on that later. “But Galen’s also her attorney. He sat in the meetin’ with Lyndon. He said he was gonna see what he can do, but it doesn’t look promisin’. Either Clara moves or she loses Bella.”

  “Poor girl,” Dad murmured, shaking his head sadly. “She’s had a lot of surprises lately. I wonder why Jon and Stacy decided to do this.”

  “From what Lyndon said, they wanted Bella raised here.” I lifted my shoulders, just as confused as them. It was a steep price Jon was asking Clara to pay.

  “I doubt he expected to die,” Mom pointed out. “So, what’s her plan? Even though she has to move here, I’m happy Bella will still be here. She’s like my grandbaby since you two haven’t given me any.” She gave Sam a pointed stare.

  Sam laughed and held up her hands. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m nowhere near ready for kids. I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

  “Samantha-”

  “Back on topic, please.” Dad hated their back and forth’s. “So, Clara is stayin’ with Bella. Is she gonna live at Jon and Stacy’s?”

  I shook my head. “No. She was adamant that she wasn’t livin’ there. I’m gonna call around for her and see if I can find somethin’ until she finds somethin’ more permanent. If not, I have a new tenant for a bit.”

  I decided not to tell them about the money. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with it, and I needed to think on that for a bit before I filled them in.

  “What happened with Galen?” Sam questioned. “What was his excuse for sendin’ her here all alone? Were you able to find anythin’ out about Clara and Jon?”

  “I don’t see how this is any of our business.” Mom’s face was pinched, troubled. “Jon is gone. I think it’s best to let this be. If Clara wants to talk about it, then fine. But there is no use snoopin’ around where we don’t belong. She has enough to deal with right now.”

  “Mom’s right.” I decided the same thing on my way here. I had no right to question Clara about Jon. Yes, I wanted to know, but it was hers to tell. I couldn’t fault her for that. “We need to leave this alone.”

  Should I tell them about Jon and Clara’s parents?

  “You’re holdin’ out on us. You know somethin’.”

  Damn it!

  Sam was too sharp for her own damn good.

  I sighed, knowing this was only going to make them crave answers.

  “Galen told me that Jon was a master manipulator. He suggested that I start diggin’ around in Jon’s presence in town. Apparently, Jon liked power, and the only reason he was a pastor here was because of that.”

  “Do you believe that? We’ve attended Jon’s church before, and I didn’t hear anythin’ remotely like that.” Dad looked at Mom. “Did you?”

  Mom was staring out the window, her mouth turned down and strained. “Nothin’. Not at all.”

  “It’s not only that. Galen said that Jon fabricated his parent’s death.” The air was sucked out of the room, their disbelief palpable. “Jon told his mother that his father molested him. It broke her. She murdered their father and turned the gun around on herself.” I scrubbed my cheeks with my hands, still not able to come to terms with that.

  “That’s awful,” Dad whispered, shell-shocked.

  I gave them the rest of the details, and in the end, Mom and Dad didn’t want to believe it. Sam on the other hand…she did.

  “It fits with Clara’s reaction. I still believe there’s more to the story, but you’re right, Grey. We need to leave it alone.” It looked as if the words left a bad taste in her mouth – Sam hated not knowing anything.

  “So, that’s it,” Dad decided. “We leave Jon’s memory alone. There’s no reason to dig around for a bunch of skeletons. No one in this town would believe it, either. We don’t want them hatin’ Clara.”

  I nodded, my line of thinking the same. “I agree.”

  “Well, let us know if she needs any help,” Mom added, determined. “She’s gonna need it with the baby if she’s never raised one before.”

  I grinned at my mom. “I already told her to reach out if she needs to.”

  “Good.”

  “So…” Sam had a twinkle in her eye that made me brace. “What’s your opinion of Miss Vincent? You two are getting’ awfully chummy.” She smirked shamelessly.

  Just great.

  Not her, too.

  If the town caught on, they’d be planning our wedding by Christmas.

  Chapter 9

  Clara

  “You sure you know what you’re doing?” Paige asked, worried.

  “Not really, but do I have a choice? Moving to Bliss is the only way.”

  Bella was laying on her back in the middle of the floor next to me, looking up at the different colors and lights going off above her, cooing away. Grey had shown me how to use Bella’s favorite toy this morning, and it has kept her very busy since she’d woken up from her nap.

  I had a lot to learn.

  “Do you realize how crazy this is? You’re going to raise your brother’s daughter, the same brother that you hated before his demise, in a small town hundreds of miles away from home. I don’t think this is smart, Clara. I think you need to let that guy – Grey, was it? – have custody of her.”

  I wanted to reach through the phone and punch her.

  “I’m not stupid, Paige. I understand that this is a big decision, but she’s my niece. Even if I hated Jon, I’d never abandon her. Do you think I want to uproot my life and move to backwoods, North Carolina?”

  Paige sighed heavily into the phone. “This is all so… I don’t know what to say.”

  “Tell me about it. I’m experiencing it, and still, I’m reeling.”

  “His wife looked just like you?” she wondered, probably going over all the details I’d given her.

  Since Grey and Galen were finally gone, I’d figured it was time to stop ignoring Paige. Her texts and calls had grown more insistent since last night.

  “Yes, almost exactly.”

  “That’s freaky.”

  I took Bella’s little hand in mine, enamored. “You should see Bella, though. She’s beautiful.” My words were full of awe.

  “I want pictures.”

  “I’ll send one to you after we get off the phone.” Bella wrapped her fingers around one of mine, and my heart skipped. I couldn’t believe she was real.

 
Paige sighed again. “I’m going to miss you, Clarabelle. It’s not going to be the same without you here.”

  I frowned as a sense of longing washed over me. “No. Everything is changing. I’m going to miss Chicago, my job…you. But it’s beautiful here. You should see this town, Paige. It’s perfect, picturesque.” Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. “Why don’t you and Logan come visit once I find somewhere to live?”

  “Of course we will.” She paused. “But what about your apartment and all your stuff?”

  God, I had so much to think about.

  “I’m not sure. I might keep it. There’s no reason I can’t come visit all the time. The plane ride isn’t that long. I need to find Galen a replacement, though.” Tears stung my eyes at that.

  “This doesn’t seem real,” Paige whispered, just as emotional. Nobody enjoyed a change.

  “I know.” I closed my eyes, pressing my lips together to stop from crying.

  Paige cleared her voice, saying, “When do you think you’ll be back?”

  “No clue. I’ve got to take it one day at a time for now.”

  Bella let out a small squawk, gaining my attention once again. She was trying to suck on her fists.

  “Bella’s trying to stick her fist in her mouth. What does that mean?”

  I was way over my head here.

  “She’s probably hungry.”

  I glanced at the clock – it felt like I’d just fed her. “How much should I feed her? I gave her a bottle a couple of hours ago.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this? You don’t know anything about babies.”

  I gritted my teeth.

  Sometimes Paige could be wonderful, but others…not so much. She didn’t think before she spoke, and she came across as a bitch. I knew that she didn’t mean it offensively – she honestly just wanted to know. Still, it caused my hackles to rise.

  “I’ll be fine. If not, Grey and his family are close. They’ve been around Bella and seem nice.”

  She groaned. “I do not have a good feeling about this.”

  Bella started rooting around on her fist again, growing more upset. Then, I remembered the pacifier – Grey had shown it to me.

  I got to my feet and found the diaper bag on the couch. “I’m going to do this, Paige, and I’d like your support. Do you think this is easy for me? I don’t want to be criticized every time we talk. It’ll only cause me to push away from you, and I don’t want that.”

  “I’m sorry, Clara. Really. I want you to understand what you’re getting yourself into and how life changing it’s going to be. I’m a single mom, so I know. It’s hard work at times…but I’ll admit, it’s rewarding, too.”

  I gave Bella the pacifier, and she sucked on it enthusiastically. I jogged to the kitchen to make her another bottle, saying, “I realize what I’m signing up for, Paige. I’m positive about this. Yes, I have a lot of learning ahead of me, but don’t most mothers go through that when they first have a baby?” After measuring some water, I popped a bottle in the microwave. “You know how much this…Bella…means to me.

  “You’re right. You’re right. I didn’t know much when I had Logan. Just…call me if you need anything, okay? I know I’m far away, but I’ll talk you through whatever you need help with, day or night.”

  “Now there’s my best friend,” I teased as the microwave dinged.

  “Tell me about this guy, Grey. What’s he like?”

  I was so not getting into that.

  “Sorry, I’ve got to go. Bella’s fussing, and I need both hands to make a bottle,” I lied.

  “You’re full of shit!”

  “Gotta go! Love you! Bye!” I hung up before she could say anything else.

  I was going to pay for that later.

  I shook the formula and water together as I walked back to the living room area and picked up Bella. I tested the bottle to make sure it wasn’t too hot, like Grey showed me. Bella was making small sounds of aggravation, not able to get anything out of the pacifier. I pulled it from her mouth and replaced it with the silicone nipple as I sat down. She made a noise of contentment as she started drinking, finally pleased.

  I ran the tips of my fingers over her smooth, creamy skin, whispering, “It’s just you and me now, sweetie. Everything’s going to be all right. I just know it.”

  ♥♥♥

  All right, my ass.

  If I didn’t get Bella to stop crying, I was going to pull my hair out!

  It’d been three days since the reading of the will. The first two were great. Bella was a doll and barely fussed at all. Watching her had been fascinating, as well. It was like she’d just discovered her hands, so she watched them with an intense focus as they moved. She even played with the toys that dangled over her, much to my amusement, laughing and gurgling away. I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much fun, and with every moment I was with her, I fell more and more in love.

  We’d spent our days at Grey’s house, wrapped up in our little haven away from the world, getting comfortable with one another. Galen had to leave almost as soon as he arrived, which was fine with me since I was still a bit perturbed with him for keeping Bella’s existence from me. He called a lot to check on me, though, and I found myself starting to soften toward him. Yes, after he explained it to me, I could understand his reasoning, but I didn’t need him taking away my choices. Those were mine and mine alone.

  Grey had been in constant contact. In the morning, he called to check on Bella and touched base in the evening to see how my day was with her. Every time we spoke, he told me that if I needed him, I shouldn’t hesitate to call him.

  I found myself softening toward Grey, too, but this was for an entirely different reason. I was coming to admire Grey. It had nothing to do with attraction – even though my heart and tummy did this weird fluttery thing every time I heard his voice – but it had everything to do with the kind, considerate, wonderful man that he was on the inside. I’d never met anyone like him.

  I had a lot of time to think while I’d spent my days with Bella – she napped a lot – and I came to the conclusion that Grey should have acted the opposite of how he had. Jonathan was his best friend, his buddy, and I was the sister that – in Jonathan’s mind, I was sure, and as far as Grey knew – scorned him. Additionally, I’d fought to come here in the first place. Grey didn’t know me when that happened, or when I’d arrived at Bliss, therefore he should’ve given me the cold shoulder. But he didn’t. His feelings, whatever they might have been – I had no idea since he hadn’t said – were put aside to make sure I, and even Bella, were okay.

  Who does that?

  It just proved that he was one of the good ones. I needed to be careful. I could fall for a guy like Grey, even though I knew it was the last thing I needed.

  Other than Grey, day to day life had been easy, comfortable…healing.

  All of that ended last night, though.

  Bella had been sleeping for a good six hours at night, which surprised me based on what Paige told me about infants. Last night was not like that. She woke up every hour, almost on the hour, screaming her pretty little head off. I tried changing her, burping her, rocking her, and even feeding her a bit more, although I was careful with that – I didn’t want to overfeed her. Nothing worked.

  Now, it was noon, and I was getting closer and closer to freaking out. Though she didn’t have a temperature – I made sure to check every way possible, thanks to Google – I contemplated taking her to the emergency room. There had to be something wrong with her.

  Why wouldn’t she stop crying?!

  I’d been trying to prove it to myself that I could handle this, so I’d been getting advice from different websites, rather than calling Paige or Grey. I was being stubborn – I knew this – but I was at the end of my rope. I needed someone’s help.

  I was bouncing Bella in my arms as I searched for my phone, her little cries shrilling in my poor ears, when someone pounded on the door. I startled slightly, jostling Bella.
It caused her take a deep breath, but only to help her scream even louder.

  I was in way over my head.

  I hurried to the door and threw it open before I could see who it was. I found an elderly lady standing there with a concerned look on her withered face.

  I didn’t hesitate.

  I grabbed her arms and pulled her into the house, slamming the door behind her. I offered Bella to her, almost desperately in my panic, saying, “You have to help me! I don’t know what to do!”

  The woman took Bella into her arms, clucking, “Oh, you poor dear. I’ve heard sweet Bella cryin’ all mornin’. I was worried somethin’ was wrong.” She didn’t spare me a glance as she strolled into the living room like she lived here and sat on the couch. “No offence or anything, dear, but Grey said that you were rather new at this.”

  I followed her, sitting next to her to see what she was doing with Bella. Of course, Bella was still throwing a fit, but the lady looked like she knew a thing or two about kids. She wore a Mumu-like dress and had her hair styled in a short, curly cut. Her skin was paper thin and wrinkled, but she had an air of invincibility, like nothing could keep her down.

  “I am,” I admitted.

  “What’s been wrong with her, dear?” she questioned, finally taking her attention away from Bella to stare at me. I explained everything that happened since last night, making sure not to leave out a detail. “Oh,” she murmured, nodding. “I think I know what’s wrong with her.”

  “How?” I asked in disbelief.

  She chuckled, her eyes twinkling. “Dear, I’ve raised four of my own, have ten grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren – I think I know what I’m doin’.”

  My eyes were round by the time she was finished. “That’s a lot.”

  “I’m blessed,” she stated simply. “I’ll show you a good trick that’s always helped me out when they have a tummy-ache.”

  “She has an upset stomach?” I questioned, flabbergasted that she figured it out so quickly.