Silent Bob

by Erik Schubach

  Once I was cleaned up and in some fresh clothes, I made my way down to the retail space. It was pretty busy, well with Thanksgiving over with last week, it is the holiday season, time to pull out the sleighs. Hardcore hunters and people shopping gifts for the outdoors people in their family, and the businesses and families that are wanting to book holiday Cascade experiences were everywhere in the store.

  It still shocks me the turnaround of the company after I became Uncle Stewart's silent partner all those years ago. Just by adding a few legs on our stool by offering guided tours, dream mountain experiences and the like have transformed Silent Bob's into a destination. At the rate we are growing, I'm entertaining on the possibility of a second location soon.

  I was originally thinking north to the Highway 2 corridor, but I think I quite like Blake being there now. It is nice to have some intelligent competition. So maybe just expanding the I90 corridor to the east slope. Maybe the Roslyn or the Cle Elum area. Cle Elum would have better access to the freeway and visible signage from the I90 without having to rent billboard space.

  I was knocked out of my thinking as I was about to help out a regular customer, Albert, when my cell started dancing in my back pocket. I grabbed it and couldn't stop my grin when I saw Blake's name blazing away on it. I excused myself from Albert for a moment and walked into the stockroom behind the ammo counter before answering. “Your website sucks you know that?”

  This got a laugh out of her. “Well hello to you too Ro.”

  I laughed. “What, I'm serious. Looks like some kid made it based off of an old eCommerce template. I sure hope you didn't pay much for it. There's no way to shop for basic tour packages nor a decent online quoting system. I'd fire his ass and get a real webmaster. I could hook you up with ours if you want.”

  She chuckled again. “Well, since I did it myself WITH an old eCommerce template, I don't think I'm gonna fire me. The prices some of these companies wanted to set up a custom site were ridiculous. I mean, twenty five to forty k for a site like yours is insane. That's like my advertising budget for almost a year! Another reason for me to get you away from that ass Bob, with him flaunting his money like that and such.”

  I snorted, I really had to tell her I was Silent Bob. This really wouldn't be a good time since she has her mad on again. I grinned to myself as I said, “Well we paid a fraction of that to a girl who Crystal James knew, Reese Qualls. I could put a word in for you, I'm sure I could get you the same rate so long as you don't advertise your services on it for tours or guide services in the I90 corridor on the website. A decent web presence increased our 'Cascade Experience' portion of our business three fold and our online retail sales eclipsed our traditional sales in the store last year.”

  She was quiet for a minute. “Isn't this type of thing going to get you in trouble with the old codger?”

  I shook my head. “Not at all. Besides healthy competition is great. Silent Bob's is going to be expanding soon, we have more business than we can deal with right now.”

  She snorted. “Is that the warning shot across my bow?”

  This lady is funny! “Not at all. Since you have the Highway 2 corridor with Icicle Creek and Leavenworth, we'll be cresting the mountain and take the I90 east slope corridor. We've even decided instead of turning down tours in your area like we normally do, we'll just refer them to you. We've never had any decent people to refer them to until you arrived. We'd appreciate the same in return.”

  She sounded a little more serious suddenly. “A bribe to keep me away from the I90 corridor?”

  I sighed, “Not at all. We welcome anyone who thinks they can take business from us here. Many have tried, and many have failed. I only suggest that any help I personally give you is for your territory only. It would be working against my own interests if my help was to have a direct negative impact to Silent Bob's.”

  She still sounded a little cautious. “OK. We can talk about it later. Then when I finally steal you away, I'll mine your brain for gold.”

  I chuckled. “Fair enough, if you don't mind not getting mining rights until the end of time that is. So... anyway, hello Blakester, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call?”

  She snickered. “Sure Ro, just shut me down THEN say hi. I feel so under appreciated. I was just seeing if you had today off or if Bob was letting you out of the cage this afternoon to go to the Winter Sportsman Show in the Seattle at the Washington State Convention Center.”

  I nodded to myself. “I'm at work now, but I was already planning on attending.”

  She sounded happy. “Cool. Want to go together? Then at least I'll know one person there. I hope to God Jerry doesn't show up. I'm at my place in Seattle, playing hookey today, my staff can handle things. I can pick you up at Silent Bob's at noon if you want, or we can just meet there.”

  Why was my heart racing. I know it is just as friends, but I like being around her. “Sure, come get me. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat along the way.”

  She responded cutely. “Kay... see ya around noon Ro.”

  I smiled at that. “OK, bye Blakester.”

  I went back out to Albert with a smile on my face.

  Ramona cornered me after Albert left. “Spill boss. You were all red eyed earlier then you get a phone call and you are nothing but smiles. It's the kind of smile I wear when Derick is around.”

  I sighed, nothing gets past this girl. I wound up spilling my guts about Jerry the snake. She gave me a “told you so” look. But refrained from prying into who was on the phone with me. I'm sure she'll grill me later when we are closing up the shop tonight. But there is nothing to tell, Blake is just a competitor and a friend.

  Chapter 4 – A Competitor and a Friend

  Right at noon, Blake came walking through the main door wearing dark sunglasses and holding a little crucifix in front of her dramatically. Remmy had already returned to work by then and looked up at her and grunted, then went into the back room to grab some gear for the customer he was helping.

  She saw me and laughed then lowered the crucifix as she walked up to me, creaking and clacking. She grinned toward the back room then down to the cross in her hand. “What do you know. It works!”

  I snorted and then looked off to the side to Ramona and nodded then pointed at the door, indicating I was leaving. She shot back a little wave and a huge smile, showing her startlingly white teeth when she saw I was leaving with a girl. Then I just looped my arm in Blake's and dragged her quickly outside. “I better get you out of here before you burst into flames.”

  She rolled her eyes in amusement, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, then gestured toward her car. “Your chariot, madame.”

  It was my turn to roll my eyes in fun. “It's a good thing I like you. Otherwise I'd have you committed. Nobody would blame me if they spent just five minutes with you.”

  She grinned and we mounted up into her car. Then she got a little quiet and looked back toward the lodge then lowered her eyes a bit and said softly, “She's... really pretty. You two... getting together now that Jerry is out of the picture? I saw her give you the biggest smile just then.”

  I was confused for a second then couldn't stop myself from laughing long and hard. I composed myself. “Oh goodness no. Ramona is like barely out of her teens. I'm no cradle robber, no matter how tempting her chocolate skin is. And her boyfriend is simply gorgeous! No, I think she thought you and I have something going. She hated Jerry from the beginning and wants me to start dating 'respectable' people.”

  This got a smile from her as she started the car and we were off to Seattle. We made smalltalk for the short ride into the city, breaking into the comfortable cadence we had on the mountain. The topics were fluid as we learned more about each other. I could already feel our friendship solidifying. I could talk with this woman forever. Now if I could just find either a gay or a male version of her then I'd be set!

  We wound up at Pike Place Market for lunch and I introduced her to the culinary masterpieces at The Pike
bakery. The sandwiches were beyond amazing on their fresh baked bread. We both reached for the check at the same time, her hand landing on top of mine. I reveled in the warmth of the contact for an instant then pulled my hand quickly away with the check, avoiding her eyes. Damn was it hot in there.

  I glanced over at her as I dropped some cash on the table with a generous tip. She seemed to be studying me. She looked a little angry... or hurt? Damn, did I make it look like I didn't like being touched by her? The exact opposite is true.

  I grinned as I stood. “My treat, you're the one driving us around.”

  Her smile returned as we left the bakery. She looked over at me. “So, walk or drive over to the convention center?”

  I thought for a second, we were only a few blocks away. “Best walk it, parking will be next to impossible there.”

  She nodded and we went back into our banter mode, trading sarcastic barbs and enjoying each others company. I had already tuned out the creaking and clacking of her brace.

  She wound up getting the information for our webmaster and I reminded her not to post tours in the I90 corridor to which I got a playful “Yes, mother!”

  Once we arrived and looked around, it wound up being much busier than last year. We noticed a booth for Granite Ridge tents, which we avoided like the plague.

  When we got to the Negative Zero Climbing Gear booth, I pulled Blake over. They were based in Switzerland and had just got distribution in the United States. People were raving about them and I had just secured a contract with them last week. I was wondering if Richard, the distribution rep for the Pacific Northwest was at the booth. It would be nice to put a face to the name since all of our dealings were online via email.

  Sure enough, a fifty-ish looking man with dark frosted hair, appropriately dressed in mountain gear was one of the three people there showing off their new camelots and other climbing protection. On his chest was a name tag proudly stating that he was Richard Vega, sales manager for the Pacific Northwest territory.

  He glanced over at us and saw I was approaching so he turned to greet us. I put my hand out. “Hi, Richard. Roberta Valentine with Silent Bob's, and this here is Blake Reston from Reston Outfitters.”

  He looked a little shocked, probably because we were there together and not ripping each others faces off. Then he smiled and shook both of our hands. “It is a pleasure to finally meet both of you face to face. Miss Valentine, your reputation makes you sound... ummm... bigger.”

  Blake snickered with a Cheshire cat grin. “Yeah, but the little runt carries a lot of clout.” I rewarded her with a slap to her arm. This did nothing to dim her frigging smile. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back a smile of my own.

  Blake then got a little serious. “Since we are here, I'm still waiting on the contract so I can start offering your wares in my shop. We are waiting to place our first stock order.”

  He started looking a little nervous. “Not a problem, Miss Reston. I haven't emailed it out yet. There was just a problem at headquarters about overlapping territories. We are getting it all straightened out.”

  She looked at him, squinting a little. “Overlapping? Overlapping with who?”

  He glanced over at me then to her and proceeded cautiously. “Ummm... with Silent Bob's Cascade Experience.”

  She sucked in a breath and her face was red. “Goddammit! That bastard! He's just got to lock up everything!”

  I held up my hand between them and Blake started pacing. “Richard, I can personally attest that Silent Bob's and Reston Outfitters territory will not overlap for Negative Zero Climbing Gear. Silent Bob's will not sell outside of the I90 corridor, except online. The only possible overlap would be city-folk driving up to buy from us. But that is true with any territory. Blake here is in the Highway 2 corridor. So this is a win win for your company.”

  He looked over at a fuming Blake who looked like she was chewing nails. “Is this true?” She just looked at me then at him and grudgingly nodded her head, calming a little. He smiled at this. “Then there is nothing to clear at headquarters, we'll have the contract to you by this afternoon.” He was sending a text message on his phone as he said this, most likely telling his office.

  I could see her fighting a little smile creeping up at the corners of her lips. “OK. I look forward to it. Standard fifty percent discount for US accounts as discussed, correct?”

  My breath caught as Richard paled, glancing at me. Ah-ha! That's why he was so nervous with the two of us being here together! I glanced at Blake with a little smirk then back to Richard. “Ummm... fifty percent? But you are giving Silent Bob's sixty, Richard. What's with this 'standard discount' crap?” I quirked an eyebrow.

  He cleared his throat before Blake could snap at him in new-found fury. “It is because of your demand in the Seattle area, you are the bigger presence.”

  Blake opened her mouth, I could see the anger in her eyes, I spoke before she could, “Richard, either you extend the same discount to Reston Outfitters that you are giving Silent Bob's or we pull your line. That will effectively kill your sales in the Seattle area in both the I90 and Highway 2 corridors. Seattle basically won't exist for you. Is this really what you want?”

  Blake needed to say something, I could see that she wanted to explode but I was diffusing everything and creating a great opportunity for her benefit. So she finally just comically added, “Yeah! What she said!”

  Richard spoke quietly, looking around, “You wouldn't. That would cripple distribution in the Northwest, everyone knows that Silent Bob's is THE outdoor outfitter for the area.

  I shrugged. He slumped his shoulders a little in defeat, I could see the anger swirling around in his eyes. I knew that a bigger discount to Blake meant a smaller commission for him. So I just smiled sweetly and innocently at him.

  He sighed. “OK. I'll have a modified contract sent today. But!” He looked directly at Blake. “If corporate sees any sales overlap, we pull your territory.” He tried to save face with that ultimatum.

  She smiled a toothy smile... like an alligator. “There won't be. It has been a pleasure doing business with you, Richard.”

  He just shook his head and walked away from both of us without a goodbye to talk with anyone else he could find. I held back my laugh and linked our arms and dragged her across the aisle to where we were out of earshot and we both started cracking up.

  I looked up at her. “I hate it when they play those kind of damn games.”

  She got suddenly serious with a concerned look on her face as she looked down at me. “You keep helping me out, Ro. You were amazing. Just the few things you have done have already helped my business. Why? I seriously don't want you getting in any trouble or overstepping your authority at Silent Bob's. But at the same time, I'm also seeing you almost single-handedly creating two distinct territories between our companies now while making each one stronger in our own regions.”

  I smiled softly back. “We're friends aren't we, Blakester? That's what friends do, they help each other and prevent people from taking advantage. Besides I have carte blanche when it comes to policy at Silent Bob's.”

  She shook her head. “The old codger won't get mad that you are helping the enemy?”

  I laughed, and shook my head back. “Believe me when I say, there will be no problems and nobody will say a thing.”

  She squinted her eyes, locking onto mine and trying to read something in me. Finally she gave up and just smiled and gave me a hug that I quickly pulled out of. OK Bobbi, breathe! She really has to stop doing little things like that. Dang I know it is just innocent to her, but now it's getting hot for me in here too. Doesn't she know what all these innocent touches are doing to me? I glanced up and she was looking away from me.

  I made a few more business contacts and we attended a couple talks about advancements in cold weather gear. It was not boring as normal, Blake kept me entertained with her sarcastic barbs.

  Afterward, we exited into the dark in the late afternoon. It cert
ainly gets dark early in the winter I mused as we just walked around downtown for a while talking about anything but work.

  I found myself comparing how easy it is to speak with her to how it was with Jane... to my own shock, I actually found it easier with Blake. I sighed in a little bit of a funk, too bad it is just a friendship. But then I cheered myself up knowing that I can already tell that she is going to be a good friend to have.

  I looked at the time on my cell, it was almost six o’clock. I turned to her. “As much fun as we are having, I'm afraid I have to pull it up short. I gotta go lock up the shop Blakester.”

  She nodded, was that disappointment in her eyes too? “OK. Let's get saddled up. Just tell the old codger it is my fault if you are late. Then you won't get in any trouble, I didn't mean to keep you so long. Then maybe I'll get my death-match with him!” She grinned like a madwoman at that and I couldn't help but snort as I slapped her arm again.

  On the drive back tot he lodge, we joked around and again avoided any shop talk and just concentrated on learning more about each other.

  Then she pulled us up in front of Silent Bob's right by the door. I really loved the look of the place in the winter, it looked like it was growing out of the snow. I looked over at Blake's grinning face. Dang, the shadows cast by the parking lot lights on the angles of her face just make her look more exotic.

  I smiled back and said, “Thanks, Blakester, this was a fun day. Call me and we can do coffee or lunch sometime, it is fun speaking with you.”

  She nodded as I opened the door. “Definitely. See ya later, Ro.” I got out and shut the door and gave a little wave as she pulled off with a smile on her face. I noticed Vernon on a ladder replacing a spotlight under the porch.

  I turned and I looked up to the office window to see Remmy and Ramona looking down as I trudged along the nicely shoveled walkway. They quickly moved away from the window. I snickered as I walked into the retail space. I mentally braced myself for the impending Spanish Inquisition from them tonight.