“I see something, I need you to help me understand.” As Félix stepped away from the bathroom door was opened wider, revealing what was exactly in those bags, and his eyes took in every surface covered in long white sticks. “Félix?”
“Had to go so many places, had to be sure.”
“Sure?” Stepping into the room and past Félix he gasped as the number he saw. “Sure you are…”
“You can say it.” He couldn’t.
Looking over them he saw the multiple windows all had the same word displayed. “Pregnant.” In the mirror he saw the reflection of his friend looking desperately upset. “Will be okay.” He reassured in a soft voice as he gathered him into his arms and let him sink into his body, supporting his weight completely. “I promise will be okay.”
“Do not know this, all such a mess, all my fault.” He began to sob. “I can’t…don’t know…need help.”
Andre swallowed thickly, he was concerned what sort of help he was looking for. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know.” Sniffing against Andre’s team shirt he stood up straight. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Have no idea, it has to be your decision.” He cooed.
“But I do not know!” Félix shouted. “I’m…confused.”
“It’ll be okay.” He tried and failed on that one, Félix glared back at him incredulously.
“Nothing is okay about this!”
Andre watched on as Félix grabbed up a couple of plastic bags and filled one up with all the evidence before tying the handles together and putting it the other and repeating the action. However he didn’t miss Félix slipping one into his back pocket, but he did politely ignore the it.
“I want children, but not now.” He hung his head as he pressed a hand to his abdomen. “But…”
“You’ve got time to be sure about your decision.” Not that he could imagine Félix doing anything other than keep it. He was a sensitive man.
“Mmm.” He knew that was limited.
“So what do you want to do about this weekend?” He knew he had to ask, it was Félix’s decision.
“Will play, cannot let everyone down.” Taking a couple of breaths he stood up straighter. “Have to.”
“You don’t.” Despite his own thoughts on the matter Andre wanted Félix to at least feel that he wasn’t obligated to the team. “Not for the team, you have to think about yourself, your…” The word halted on the tip of his tongue.
“Ángel.” Félix whispered softly.
The purity of the moment caught Andre off guard, it seemed like acceptance of the situation, that his mind was made up on the matter. But he wasn’t settling on that as the final situation because of how complicated it all was. But it was Félix. He wouldn’t walk away. “I think if you want to go ahead, we cancel first practice for you.” Calling Eric he explained his absence away as being unwell but under Félix’s silent insistence through stern eyes he confirmed he was going be there in the afternoon. “Are sure?”
“Si, am alright.”
Andre watched on like a hawk throughout the whole weekend, monitoring Félix’s every move. He was always nervous at the beginning of a game, but today the start had him crossing everything he could, he was sweating more than ever before, the win at the end was met with tears.
***
Seeing Andre cry at their win was shocking, it jarred him from the euphoria because it reminded him of how he started the weekend with a desperate web search for a pharmacy. This wasn’t the best place to do that in, but wearing a disguise that consisted of a beanie hat and scarf pulled up high over his mouth, he visited every pharmacy in the area that advertised male pregnancy kits. Félix restricted himself to a couple in each place, however once he returned to his room he couldn’t hide any longer, he had to sit and wait until the timer on his phone went off.
Each and every one told him he was pregnant.
Each and every white plastic stick told him he was going to be a father.
Each one confirmed he was going to be alone.
“I’m okay.” He said to Andre once they caught up after the podium.
“I know, but is hard to watch you know.” He felt stupid for getting so emotional. “Sorry, is time for you to celebrate, am so glad these days are here again.”
“Me too. We will win this year.” Saying it out loud made it seem so real, so achievable, just like before.
“All my faith is with you.” Placing his hand on his cheek Andre quickly moved to fully embrace him, holding him close. “I’m here for whatever you need.” Squeezing Félix tightly he wanted to tell him to stop, to stay safe, to think beyond his job, But he couldn’t and wouldn’t. “I think you will be going straight home?”
“Si, am wanting my family.”
“Of course, the strategy meeting will not be long.” And Andre made sure of it.
***
“Félix, hola, is a surprise!” Laura exclaimed as she stood in her house, her younger brother on the doorstep looking nervous and tired.
“Si, am sorry for arriving like this.”
“Why be sorry, am so happy to see you.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she saw him plenty when he wasn’t playing, but during the season he was largely absent. And no matter how much she missed him, she loved him for so passionately chasing and achieving his dream. “Come in, come in.”
“Gracias.” Stepping inside he felt an edge of calm he had been missing.
“Are you okay?”
“I cannot hide a thing from you, can I?”
“You need to hide something?” Pulling him into the lounge she made him sit down amongst the cushions, and sitting down next to him she felt protective. “If you were not driving I would offer you something strong to drink.”
“Hmph, would not be able to drink it anyway.” He gave his sister a lopsided smile.
“Of course, would not want to upset your training.” She patted his leg. “Do you want to talk? I have some news too.”
“I think yours will be better than mine.” Sighing he sat back a bit, pulling a cushion onto his lap and hugged it close.
“You sound so serious, Fél, talk to me.” Shuffling a little closer she began to rub his forearm gently. “Por favor.”
“It’s not my training that means I cannot drink, is something else…” He tailed off not knowing how to explain, Andre was easy because he was forced to, there was no avoiding it. And he wasn’t about to cover her beautiful coffee table with pregnancy tests. “Permanent.”
“Félix?” Her blood ran cold.
“I’m expecting.”
“Expecting what?” Félix squirmed beside her and seeing his gaze drop her mind cycled through several stages of panic.
Taking her hand from his arm he placed it onto his stomach, his own settling on top.
“Felicidades!” Laura quickly to hug him. “Me too!”
“Huh?”
“I’m pregnant too, three months.” She couldn’t believe it, she had been dying to tell Félix and had decided to wait until she could do it face to face. But for him to have the same news was exciting.
Félix clung onto her, she had been trying for years and years to have a baby, with all the disappointments that came with it. “Two and a half, almost.” He muttered, knowing the answer without any medical opinion.
“This is…is…” She couldn’t stop the tears, they were going to go through it all together. “So wonderful.”
“Felicidades.” He held on tightly, not wanting to let go. “I’m scared.”
As the words were barely whispered into her ear she felt Félix begin to shake, she knew then that she wasn’t about to be told about a secret love. He was alone. “I’m here, you’re not alone.”
“Don’t know what to do.” He admitted. “Have no idea.”
“That’s okay, I’m new to this too.” Smiling she took his hand and held on. “It’s there anything else you want to tell me?”
“Like what?” Surely him being pregnant was enough
!
“Like whose baby this is?”
“No.” Shutting her down immediately he made sure to stop that conversation from happening, Max thought he was an idiot, he didn’t want any extra scrutiny.
“Okay.” Clearly that was a contentious subject and at the moment it wasn’t worth the argument. “Okay, how about we have a drink, and I make us something to eat?”
“Si, will help.” Following Laura to her kitchen it struck him that they were both pregnant, it stopped him dead in his tracks. He was pregnant. Pregnant.
When she turned around expecting to see her baby brother just behind, but he wasn’t, retracing her steps revealed him slumped on the floor, head in his hands, crying. “Hey, it will be okay.” Kneeling beside him she kissed his temple and cradled his body against hers. “It will be.” Rocking him thankfully seemed to lessen the tears.
“But am pregnant, will not be.” He gasped. “I’m so stupid to think it will be.” He had been actively not thinking about the consequences of the results, after burying the sole pregnancy in his suitcase he carried on with the weekend without thinking twice about it. When he saw Andre, then it came flooding over him, the flight was spent wide awake and staring at his stomach. There was a baby just below the surface, his. And Max’s.
When the fresh wave of sobs erupted Laura wondered again whose child it was, Félix had never officially come out, but it was quietly understood between them that he preferred men. She guessed not long after he started playing professionally, his head was never turned by the girls that filled the stands. She was glad that it was taken for shyness because he had always kept his private life very much private. This was going to be harder to hide though, literally. “Oh baby brother.”
“Want to keep it.” He muttered. “But want to win also.”
“Only you can make this decision, is important you make the right one for you though.”
“Mmm.”
“You have a little time.” She reassured with a kiss to his cheek. “Are you staying in Spain for long?”
“Depends.”
“On what?” She was concerned by his downbeat tone.
“Want to tell mama and papa, but if they do not like…do not know if I can cope.” Pouring his heart out again was wearing him out. “Have you told them about you?”
“Not yet, wanted to make sure all was okay first. And they will be fine, will just want to make sure you are okay. Will be ecstatic to have two at the same time.” They were endlessly proud of Félix, and she was certain their shock would disappear almost instantly as they had been hinting at grandchildren for a few years.
“Mmm.”
“Definitely time for some food now.”
***
He sat in silence as he looked on as Laura revealed her good news, their parents lit up at her words and spent ages hugging her, repeating over and over how proud and overjoyed they were at the addition to the family. Félix couldn’t bring himself to speak up about himself, and instead he helped his parents fuss around Laura, shaking his head at his sister when she sent a pointed look.
Mama and papa looked so blissfully happy, he wanted them to sink into the feeling and enjoy the purity of it all. Getting up again to make some tea he waited for the kettle to boil with a hand on his stomach, all the while wondering how big he was going to get, how long he would get to hide, how long it would be until he had to own up or quit.
“Félix?”
Quickly placing his hand on the counter he turned to see his mama walking into the kitchen. “Si?”
“Are you okay?”
“Si, am fine.”
“But you are so quiet.” He was never the loudest person in the room, but this was too quiet even for her son.
“I’m thinking about a few things.”
“Ah, I see.” Moving to his side she wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed his arm with the other. “It’s natural to feel like this, but you will find someone who will be very lucky to have you in their life.”
“Mama.” Hugging her properly to hide his face he tried to collect himself, desperately because he could hear footsteps and it sounded like his father. “Will be fine, just a lot going on.”
“Of course, of course, are doing so well, cannot wait to see you play.” Holding his face between her hands she kissed his forehead like she always did when he was a child. Her sweet and shy son was leading the world yet again, she never lost faith in his abilities even in his darkest hour. “And you will be an uncle too, is a very important job.”
“I know, am looking forward to it.” He had to be excited about that, Laura had been trying for so long to have a child
“You will be a very good uncle.” Mathieu agreed. “Always room for more Gracias.” He laughed.
“Si, maybe more.” He tried to the start the conversation but held back.
“Your sister has not had one yet!” Isobella chuckled before filling the glasses up, ready to return to the lounge.
***
“You should have told them.” Laura chastised gently as Félix drove her back home.
“No, is your moment, have waited too long for this.” Reaching over for her hand he gripped it tightly. “I’m not taking that away from you.”
Picking up the heavy sniff Laura stared out of the window to stop herself joining in, but after the first tear ran down her cheek she couldn’t stop the rest, and it wasn’t until she turned to finally look at her brother that she realized he had stopped driving.
He had to pull over, he couldn’t halt the wave of emotion building up in his body, he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t cry, but there wasn’t a way to stop it. Crossing his arms on the steering wheel he rested his head on them just letting the tears fall, though he wasn’t exactly sure why he was crying. It was a little to do with his parents, and Laura, but he felt a great emptiness within. His heart felt empty.
“Fél?”
“I’m okay.” Wiping at his eyes he shook his head to pretend he was alright.
“I know, I think it’s normal.”
“Great.” Sighing he started the car back up and took them the short distance home.
***
Walking through the practice stadium cleared his head, one swipe of his pass and he was only a football player, nothing more and nothing less. Taking a deep breath he reveled in the simplicity of doing what he was good at, what he loved. Andre was at his side as soon as he was in sight of their shared motor home, thankfully not crowding him but keeping him company instead.
“Where is your family?”
“They are just coming for the game, but papa will be here for qualifying.”
“Oh.” There had been a plan for them all to be at the game today. “Any reason?”
“Si.” He smiled softly. “Laura is pregnant, mama didn’t want her on her feet too much.”
Gently patting his shoulder Andre followed him through to his private cool down room, he assumed quite quickly that he hadn’t told his parents because having met them he knew they would be here if they did know. “They do not know?”
Thankful for Andre not mentioning it specifically he shook his head to indicate that he hadn’t. “Could not, has taken Laura so long to get pregnant, so many years, is right it is her time.”
“It’s your time too.” Andre whispered very quietly.
“Stupidity is not something to celebrate.” He brushed off as he threw his backpack on the sofa.
“Félix…”
“No, is time to win.” He shut the conversation down far too long after he should have. “It’s what we do.”
“Si.” Andre agreed simply.
***
“Congratulations.”
Every hair on Félix’s body stood up on end, his stomach looped and heart raced harder than it did on the field. “Max.”
“The one and only.” He chuckled as he moved to see him properly, he went to make a smart remark but saw something in Félix’s expression that struck him. “Are you okay?”
“Uh huh.”
“You sure, you’ve just won your home game and you seem down.”
“I’m fine, just tired.” And that wasn’t a lie, he was exhausted.
“Winning takes it out of you, huh?” The arm he put around Félix’s shoulder that was usually welcome was shrugged away. “Félix?”
“I’m fine, I have my family here, it’s all I need.” He stated before turning away to go find them, and those step it took to reach them were the hardest he’d made.
“Félix!”
Ignoring Max went against everything in his heart, but it was for the best, he couldn’t take the rejection and accusation. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to cope with Max turning his back on him, so he had to be the one to do it, for both of them.
Making a scene wasn’t an option, and nor was chasing Félix down, Andre had warned him off seeing the Spaniard before the game which he did to avoid an argument. But it didn’t sit right with him, he’d never known Félix to ever not want to see him, it hurt, and gazing after him wandering off into the distance had the memory of their decision filling his head. He was the one to put the brakes on any sort of relationship, and maybe now Félix took that as rejection instead of the caution he wanted it to be. He had to speak to him. He had to explain and reassure that it was anything other a no.
He had been planning to invite Félix out for dinner, somewhere private so they could talk, just spend time together and be, because he was missing him in a new way and it had only been a couple of weeks. Even if he could only remember snatches of the night they spent together, just flashes of Félix’s face, nothing about how it felt, nothing about the intimacy, just blurred images.
***
“You okay?” Laura muttered under her breath as they walked behind they parents towards the restaurant Félix was treating them to. But he didn’t seem himself at all, he was putting on a wonderful front for their parents, something that was definitely helped by his win and her good news.
“Si.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Children!” Isobella chastised with a grin. “Behave!”
“Sorry mama.” Apologizing immediately Félix walked up to open the door to the restaurant for his family to leave Laura’s questions behind, and simply relax. “Please leave it.” He pleaded under his breath before asking for their reservation.
Something Greater Than Yourself: An Omega Mpreg Romance Page 2
