Shadow of the Ravens

by D A Rice

  I’d never seen him fight like this before. I matched his movements, dancing around him with my own, while avoiding his Time streams. Instinct alone told me not to touch those, and not just because I could feel their burn, different from my own, every time they came near me.

  It was different with the Nightmares. They gave off a kinship to me I hadn’t expected. It was almost as if I could reach in and take their very essence. The Ravens wanted to devour. The manic part of myself was trying to rip through whatever hold Time held over him, wanting to come out and play, to destroy. Somehow, I knew that if I let him, Chronos would suffer the most from it.

  “Time,” I started through clenched teeth. “Time, something is wrong.”

  “Agreed,” he said, having not stopped moving. “There are far too many Nightmares here.”

  “Time…” This time my voice came out as a warning and Chronos turned to face me in an instant, ready for anything.

  The first time my other self got out within my awareness was a surreal moment in my timeline. I remember watching but having no control over what he did. I hated feeling so helpless. I hated watching. I’d rather have blacked out.

  But I could do nothing as the giggles erupted from me, my back arching as power flexed around my body. The Nightmares stalled, their shadow tendrils mixing in with mine. I wanted it all, and yet, I also knew what’d happen if I took it, though I had no idea how. I didn’t even understand how I could take from these things. To my knowledge, I’d never had the urge to do so before.

  I’d also never had so many converge on me at once, and the manic part of myself was apparently greedy.

  Chronos narrowed his eyes before me, no longer worried about the enemy at his back. I was his new target. I met his gaze with an amused one of my own. I had no doubts my eyes were as red as the Nightmares that surrounded me. My arms were crossed around my stomach as I fell to a knee.

  I wanted to be in control again, but I was losing this battle and fast. All I could do was watch as the laughter pulsed around us again in surround sound. What is going on? I had thought I wanted this, but I was finding out how wrong I'd been.

  I didn’t want to watch this. I didn’t want to feel so caged within myself. I’d been amused waking up from when he took over, but this was altogether different. I cared about what happened to Chronos. The Ravens pecked at my cage, putting me in my place. Ours, ours, ours, echoed in my head.

  My head tilted one way, then the other, the shadows from the Nightmares reaching out towards me as they began to move again. Sensing the predator in front of them, they converged as one. I was their only target.

  I felt my other self shudder in anticipation, a wicked grin spreading across my face as the Nightmares leapt towards me. I wanted to scream, to warn Chronos, to make him leave, but when I opened my mouth, I began to consume everything instead.

  Interlude

  The valley is just how I remember it as we materialize. I’ve used some of the Time from Little C’s inexperience to get us where we need to be. The shadows dissolve around us as Little C takes in his surroundings, his arms tightening around my shoulders as his head peers over one.

  I pay him little mind.

  My hat has been returned to my head, reappearing as if by magic. I glance around us, my hands in my long coat pockets as Little C free hangs off my back. I tilt my head.

  This valley was desolate before, but even the Nightmares refuse to take refuge here now. They’re afraid of the only predator they have, but I won’t risk my sanity recklessly. Not anymore. It’s precarious as it is with all the grief hidden within the shadows of my mind.

  Golden sands pulsate gently around us, protective of the small timekeeper on my back. This is one place the Guardian cannot go, but that doesn’t mean Little C can’t bring some of the Guardian with him.

  Everyone is protective of the child in our midst, but I know he is safe here. I’ll always protect him, but there’s nothing left here for me to protect him from. That monster is gone now, at great sacrifice.

  I clap my hands once twirling around as I do. “Aw, this place brings back such memories!”

  “This is where it happened?” Little C’s voice is soft, but I can tell from his tone alone that he doesn’t recognize the place personally. It’s all a part of the archive Chronos left for him.

  I tilt my head the other way, my hands finding my hips as I do. “Less fun than I remember…”

  Little C cracks a grin. “That’s probably a good thing.”

  I smirk, huffing out a laugh, then wave away his words. “Tea time!” I sit in the dirt with no finesse, crossing my legs underneath me. Little C’s body jolts as his feet hit the ground, then he’s moving around me to sit at my side. His eyes tick as he looks around in curiosity. It seems he’s answered his own question, so I don’t say anything as I materialize two cups of tea in my hand.

  Little C takes one but doesn’t drink from it. Emma’s warned him to be wary of my concoctions. I can’t say I blame her, but it makes life infinitely less amusing than it could be. She should know by now I’m not going to do any permanent damage to the two people I actually care about.

  Oh well… I sip my own tea and shiver, a smile touching my lips. It’s not as strong of a brew as I left in Little C’s bedroom, but it’ll suffice for now.

  “Tell me the story, Uncle. The memories trouble you.” Little C is watching me with that look in his eyes that tells me he’s only half here.

  I pause in my sip-taking to eye him. “Looking into my past, little Timekeeper?” I take the sip, swish it around on my tongue, closing my eyes as I savor it. “Looking for a story?” I ask him, a slightly amused growl to my words.

  He doesn’t respond right away, like he’s debating something in his own mind. I raise an eyebrow at him but say nothing as I continue to drink my tea. I know mischief when I see it, and Little C is trying very hard to keep it from me. “I’m looking for something deeper, I think,” he finally responds, setting his teacup to the side.

  I see a moment shiver in the air between us and pull it into myself. It’s a moment Little C is contemplating; one he’ll need later. I’ll save it for him. It whispers to me, but I ignore it as I contemplate what’s left of the sky here. “Asking the madman for deeper meaning to life…” I let out a giggle, bringing my teacup to my lips once more. “Interesting.”

  I remember a time when I could not even think past the fluttering of wings in my head. I was broken, forgotten, and discarded. I remember being angry at Time when we finally remembered who I was together. How could Time forget? How could Time let Chronos? I would’ve given anything to take back all the hurt he went through to find me again, not realizing I was in front of him the whole time.

  And Destin, now nothing more than a part of the dust that surrounds us.

  My fists clench at my sides as anger burns through me. I want to be dangerous again. Destin tried to erase me, then change Chronos into something else, something cruel. Emma was the only reason either of us survived.

  But then…

  I shake off the memories, meeting the gaze that Little C is studying me with, waiting patiently for my emotions to pass. I need to take them out on something, to release, but that’s something I can’t do right now. Not if I don’t want to risk hurting the small child in front of me in the process.

  I’ll have to find somewhere else to do that, and soon. I'm a ticking bomb, with only so much time left before I explode. Little C will come with me, he always does. I take another sip, my eyes losing their focus as memories swirl in my head. I let my emotions rage, I have no other outlet for them. My eyes burn with their intensity as the shadows around me tense. Soon, soon I’ll let them consume me into a torrent of shadow. I tap my fingers to my knee, unable to stay still with the energy that courses through me.

  “A story it is, then…” I say softly.

  6

  I was shaking in my cage. I could feel the madness taking over as my more manic self laughed continuously. Power flooded
through every part of my body as my need to devour grew with every Nightmare that got pulled into my torrent.

  Chronos was shouting somewhere nearby, but I couldn’t hear him. All I saw was red.

  My hands found my hair as I was overwhelmed, my knees hitting the floor of my mental cage. I had no idea if my body did the same. All I knew was that I was out of control. I wanted to scream with the pain of it, but his manic laughter was all I could hear. I couldn’t get past it.

  Light pierced my mind, causing the Ravens to stir in fear. They wanted to hide me and protect themselves, but the light came anyway. Scrunching my eyes, I looked up. This was almost more painful than the Nightmares I was still consuming, but I recognized this light.

  Chronos…

  I barely had time to think it when I felt my other self fighting back. He was rage and darkness. He’d been able to just take control for so long it was almost as if he felt affronted. What man dared interrupt his fun?

  I’d been so removed from it for so long, it was hard to remember that he was me, but in that moment, I could feel the two halves of myself trying to reconnect.

  I finally screamed.

  Pain coursed through my body in waves, rocking me back on my heals as I was flung out of my prison and back into my body. I felt him there, still trying to take control as the Nightmares yelled for purchase in my crowded mind.

  Had I consumed them all?

  “Ren!” Chronos’s voice finally made sense through the haze that was my mental battlefield. The Ravens were working hard to finish off the Nightmares in my head, to add them to the madness that was already stirring a fearful cocktail.

  My head snapped up to meet the light blue gaze of the man in front of me. He was the cause of the golden light we were surrounded in. He looked sad, concerned, and in some pain himself, but he did not lift his hand from my shoulder.

  I shuddered. “Chronos…” I moaned, trying to keep myself contained. “I can’t…”

  “I know,” he said softly, his grip tightening where it lay. “I know you cannot. Not alone. I will help you.”

  I shook my head. “No… no… he’ll get you… he… he wants to tear you apart…” My head came up again, my eyes burning as I smiled. “I want to tear you apart! I will kill you!”

  I half-lunged but didn’t get far as Chronos pushed me down again, using the force of Time. He didn’t even flinch as the golden glow began to grow around us. “I am sorry, Hatter; this will hurt.”

  Shaking as I tightened my grip around my stomach, I could only nod. I wouldn’t make much sense if I spoke now, anyway. In a matter of minutes, I’d be lost to the insanity taking me over. If Chronos was going to do something, he’d better do it.

  Pain I could handle. It was an old friend of mine.

  Chronos’s free hand hovered over where I gripped my stomach, gold and blue light intensifying as his jaw tightened. I focused on the tick of his eyes, it was the only thing not of me I could hear. Searing pain erupted through my wrists and into my arms, skin blistering as Chronos’s heat touched them. I grimaced, locking my jaw. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I trusted him.

  “Hang on, Ren.” Chronos’s light increased, his time stream swirling around us, before one split off, splintering down to where my wrists burned.

  “Time…” I choked out. My eyes were on fire. The rage inside me was pulsing and overwhelming. He was close to breaking through, his power greater with the Nightmares I’d taken in. I had nothing left.

  “Hang on!” Light pulsed out stronger, a desperate attempt to finish before the Ravens.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, then let go. I couldn’t hold it anymore. He took over in a flood and I found myself looking up, a wicked smile edging up the side of my face. Chronos met my gaze, his own narrowing, but he didn’t let me go.

  Shadows crashed against his light in an overwhelming tide. The timekeeper braced himself against me as I reached out my hands in a quick motion, knives in both. I struck out, slamming one knife in the timekeeper’s chest, the other in his hand still clasping my shoulder. I could feel our blood mix together as I reached out a hand faster than even Chronos could see, bringing him closer by the back of his neck.

  He didn’t react, his eyes twitching as he watched me calmly. Oh, how I hated him in that moment.

  Shadows moved and Chronos’s head snapped back as they infiltrated his mouth, eyes, and anywhere else they could enter his body. His light could have cut them off at any point, but he didn’t redirect it from where it burned my wrists, swirling around me.

  Crack sounded between us, halting the shadows as Time halted around us.

  Slowly the shadows began to rescind, and the timekeeper’s head drooped forward. He exhaled a breath, a cloth of darkness escaping his lips before disappearing into the air above us.

  The light from my wrists snapped. In the next breath, Chronos and I were being flung back away from each other. I landed with my head bouncing from the ground, my hat rolling the other way. I rolled, the air knocked out of my lungs. I wheezed once, hearing Chronos get up before me, his reaction as slow as mine.

  His face appeared above me, concern in his eyes as he made his assessments. I found myself grinning, fingers coming up to graze the side of his face.

  That’s when I saw the rose bud tattoos. They were closed, with vines that snaked around my wrist and up to the back of my hand, where the rosebuds themselves lay. I looked at them in wonder, my smile widening. “Painting the roses….”

  Unconsciousness consumed me before I could finish the sentence.

  Interlude

  I pull my gloves off now to show Little C what’s left of the spell Chronos cast on me. What was once tattoos meant to hold the darkness at bay has turned into scars. I have no use for them now, and so they healed, just as Time healed me.

  I still have a long way to go, though. Kairos time is unstable, living in the moment every day, watching others make their choices. Not all of them are good. I’m only now just beginning to learn what the difference is, but I won’t stop someone from making their choice. no matter how it affects me. I may lessen choices if I feel the inclination to, but to take them away completely?

  That just isn’t my style, and to my knowledge, I’ve only ever done it once.

  There are days I wonder if I should have taken Chronos’s, but then I’d be no better than Fate, who saw to put his sticky fingers in everything. He was obsessed with control, but he could not have it. Chronos made sure of that.

  Little C takes my hand into his, his fingers gentle as he traces the scars left behind. I watch him in curiosity, my emotions cooling a small amount as I do.

  This is the child I carried in my arms as I walked through the Chess Valley, daring any and all to take him from me. This is all I have left of the Big Brother who left me alone.

  The hand that isn’t in Little C’s grasp tightens into a fist, the burn returning to my eyes. Then I’m standing in a sudden motion, taking Little C off his guard. He stumbles forward for a moment, but rights himself to turn and look at me. He says nothing as I begin to pace.

  “I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.” There’s a headache brewing at the front of my temple. My fingers move to massage it, the discarded glove unmoved in the dirt. Little C eyes it for a millisecond before coming up to me.

  “Let me help you, Uncle. This pain you cannot bear on your own.” He says it so calmly, but I hear him, his soft childlike voice, and I pause in my pacing. It's such a Chronos thing to offer.

  “My pain is too much for you, little one. I asked someone once, if he could take it away…” I look up, tears brimming my mismatched eyes. “He couldn’t, not without taking my memories. I deserve to suffer this way.”

  “Uncle…” There’s a soft tug on my coat sleeve. I look down to see Little C watching me, at a loss of how to help when I so clearly refuse it.

  I ruffle his hair, a grin spreading across my face. “I just need to play.” I shake out my hands, the glove reappearing over my bare
one, then roll my shoulders as the shadows around me dance. They’re as ready as I am. They may not own me anymore, but they are still a very real part of who I am.

  I take in the valley around us, this place of so much heartache. Reaching out a hand to Little C, I know exactly how to take this darkness and put it to good use. Killing Jack helped, but it can only sustain my ravenous need for violence for so long. Little C is right, I can’t manage this on my own, but I won't let him take my pain either.

  Someone has always helped me. First it was Chronos, then it was Emma, then it was both. I know I need to reach out to her, but I can’t until I know my rage issues won’t win out over my love for her.

  Because in my own way, I do love her, just as I love Little C. Just as I have always loved Chronos.

  Little C takes my hand and I swing him onto my back. Hands out, I let the shadows rise, my body tensing as tendrils latch onto me from the ground. When my eyes open, they’re red. The burn is enough to force a huffed laugh out of my lips.

  Hold on, Little one, I tell the child latched around my neck as the shadows gather in earnest, darkening the valley around us. It begins to rumble, cracking with the pressure I put on it. More shadows latch on to me, and Little C shifts on my back, his elbows resting on my shoulders as his palms come up to my temples, glowing gold.

  Do what you have to; I’m here for you. He replies and I smile, seizing my moment and releasing his back to him.

  This is a pocket outside of Time, and I’m going to destroy it.

  7

  I awoke in a bed this time, and every part of me ached, but nothing more than my blistering wrists. I could feel the scab wounds, still oozing puss and bleeding, as the golden sands of Time moved around them.

  I noted the bandages next, wound tightly over each of my wrists while they healed. When I looked up, I realized we were back in the Time Fortress, and Chronos was standing about ten paces away from me, studying himself in the mirror. He was slightly hunched over, as if using the mirror to hold himself up like a crutch.